I’ve been searching down really terrible sexy Halloween costumes for almost two weeks now, you guys. I’ve endured sexualized Native Americans, skeletons, and breathalizer tests. I’ve been through the shit. But no costume has made me want to rip my own brains out more than this one:

Hold on. Don’t throw up yet! Check this out: This little padded, veiled number is being marketed as the ” HAREM SCAREM SEXY HALLOWEEN COSTUME“:

Okay. Now you can throw up.

I pity the man who wears this costume in my general vicinity. But perhaps, had I the opportunity to interview the man beneath this foam display of misogyny and racism, he could answer a few of my most pressing questions.

Like:

• What the fuck is this fucking costume?
• What is the joke, exactly?
• Is the joke that Arab women are scary?
• Or is it that Arab women are ugly?
• Is it that fat women are scary, and ugly?
• Is it just the “harem” pun? Is that it?
• Is the extra padding to help protect you from an inevitable beatdown?
• You couldn’t just stop at the “sexy fat hula dancer,” could you?

Oh, and if you’re wondering how much it will cost a white dude to proudly display his fear and hatred of Muslim women this Halloween, the answer is $39.99.