The Sexist

The Rapiest Quotes From “I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell”


Last month, Tucker Max's cross-country movie premiere tour hit Raleigh, where students from the North Carolina State Women's Center were on hand to protest the screening. Max's people, predictably, had some anti-feminist fun with it, and posted the video online. In the video, Max sends out his minion to interview the protesters while masquerading as a gay Duke student writing a thesis on "the linguistics of rape culture." Of course, anyone actually interested in the linguistics of rape culture need only watch "I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell" to figure out what it sounds like. Basically, there are a lot of references to "cum dumpsters."

In the Raleigh Q & A, Max himself expounded upon the rape culture issue. "Fucking rape sucks, dude," Max said. "It's, like, not a joke, and I feel like [the protesters'] hearts are probably in the right place, to be honest. But I fell like they're fucking it up, man, because what they're doing is really kind of devaluing the seriousness of an actual crime. . . . Dude, I mean, the discussion about where consent lies and doesn't lie is an important one, and should be had, but this is not the fucking forum. And, uh, and that's never been an issue for me, so, I don't know man, I feel like if that's an issue to you, that's great, and you should pursue it, but pursue it with the people who it needs to be pursued with. And not with me."

Of course, "where consent lies and doesn't lie" is a consistent issue in Max's work. Max's stories succeed on orchestrating sexual conquests that are increasingly outrageous, drunk, dubiously legal, painful, objectifying, and embarrassing to his sex partners. In order to continue to one-up himself, Max intentionally pushes the line of consent—getting drunker, getting her drunker, leaving his sex partners to fend for themselves—naked—on the street, hiding his friend with an undisclosed video camera in his closet while they're doing it. It's not hard to think of the ultimate scenario these increasingly absurd sexcapades are inching toward—it's, like, rape, dude. And now—thanks to Max's movie tour—undergrads everywhere can compete to have the consensual sex that's most like rape without actually being a prosecutable offense. Sure, some dudes might fail and actually rape chicks. Oh well!

In the middle of Max's protest video, an actress from the film criticizes the protesters for failing to "read and watch any of the material!" She's right: Max's words are the best ammunition his protesters have, and it helps to get specific. So let's take a look at the rape-culturiest quotations from "I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell." Shannon Johnson, the director of the NC State Women's center which staged the Raleigh protest, has collected some highlights of the film for future protesters to use in their arguments:

On women:
- “She may be a vacuous slut with no taste, but at least she’s not a stripper.”
- “I’d rather mainline Drano than listen to another minute of your whore prattle.”
- “Your gender is hardwired for whoredom.”
- “I don’t like her because she’s a negative fucking bitch, not because she has tits.”

- “Fat girls aren’t real people.”

- "Cum dumpsters."

On fun:

- “Ready to get shit-faced and grab some titty!?”

- “We can’t all go after the girl with low self-esteem.”

On what women are good for, beyond fucking:

- “I will gut you and grind you into pig fodder.”

- "Get away from me or I’m going to carve a fuck hole in your torso.”

- “I want to shoot every one of these bitches.”
- “The only way I can cut you deep is with a battle axe and a running start.”
- “Rape’s not funny, but murder can be.”

  • Z

    I'm going to be honest, while I haven't read anything yet that would suggest that Max has engaged in rape, that scene where he video tapes a girl while he has sex with her IS an illegal act, especially if the tape were to be released; she could sue him.

    The problem I have is that no one deserves to be treated or looked upon as total shit, whether they're a man, woman, adult, child, and any nationality. He obviously has no respect for women and some of the responses here show that guys emulate his behavior. It really makes me want to vomit.

    So go on, like Tucker Max and all that he represents, just bring it up in a conversation early on so I can avoid you more conveniently.

    It also amuses me that people assume that any woman who has a problem with getting called a 'vacuous slut' or a 'cum dumpster' must be a feminist. Maybe those are descriptions of any girlfriend you ever had, but not all women. If you ever had a girlfriend; are you a virgin?

  • David

    "What you lack in notoriety or fame, make up tenfold in passion."

  • blah

    The stupidity of most of these comments is astounding.

    Tucker Max and his douchebag followers should all die in a fucking fire. What a fucking waste of oxigen... fuck.

    Because they certainly don't have any goddamn idea of what feminism is all about. Fucking morons.

  • Quotes

    The messageboard is down, but his words live on.

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  • Vagisil

    Sara (post 82) came up with a perfect analogy of the double standard in her sex & the city example. So did the guy who mentioned it's either (a) tucker was also raped, or (b) if tucker can't be raped then it shows generally women are inferior.

    I'm a humanist. Feminism however fails because it asks for the benefits of equality while maintaining status as a female. E.g.- a female in the workplace wants equal pay, but also expects special considerations such as restricted conversations (no "dirty jokes", eg), time off to watch the kids, less strenuous workload, etc.

    My point is you can't have your cake and eat it too. Equality means respect (equal pay and protection under the law) as well as at times perceived disrespect (e.g being the butt of a joke i.e tucker max, and being equally accountable in drunk sex situations).

    So lighten up feminazis, or better yet, get laid already

  • Vagisil? How Creative…

    Feminism fails in a lot of ways, but that isn't one of them. Feminism doesn't ask for out and out equality but for recognition that there are certain things that are male-oriented and certain things that are female-oriented and both should be treated with commensurate respect and commensurate pay. What you gave was a generic argument against feminism that has been used 100 times over. Frankly, I don't side with the movement, but I can't stand kitsch arguments against it either. Also, for anyone who has spent five minutes in law school, you'll find quickly that Tucker need not tell you he didn't buy books or attend class, it's pretty obvious by what he says.
    As for this rape argument, the law in many states dictates that being under the influence does present the danger of being accused of rape. You can say yes, but if a reasonable person or sometimes just the other person would believe that you lacked the capacity to agree, you didn't consent. Although, you cannot say that Tucker raped anyone in this is important to know, as some of you clearly don't, that intoxication does not provide a defense for anyone.
    And for all those of you who declare Tucker Max to be an excellent writer..please consult a library and pick up a classic book. Entertaining? Maybe. Excellent? No.

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  • maddie.

    will you people ever stop with this bullshit? he never actually rapes anyone and, like he said, you're demeaning the actual crime just by saying this. if girls don't want to be taken advantage of when they're drunk - then don't drink to the point where you could be persuaded to sleep with an asshole. that's a personal decision. obviously, tucker max is a major douchebag and none of his book should be taken seriously. but it's also hilarious if you'll take your head out of your ass and take it for the joke it is.

  • Haha

    Don't forget one of the funniest scenes!
    "What are you doing?"
    "I'm talking to the turtles."
    "Are they telling you to kill that fat chick behind us?
    'Cause that's what they're telling me."

  • Han

    Tucker Max is like the Stifler of this movie. It's a good movie. and all the quotes on this article were said by his buddy Drew, played by Jesse Bradford. His fiance left him for a rap artist. When he made the comment: "carve a fuck hole in your torso", was when he was at a strip club trying to flirt with this girl and she told him she thought "Grillionaire" (the guy his girl left him for) was amazing...
    It's just funny stuff.
    read the book and watch the movie before you talk shit.

  • Sam

    Han is right. All these quotes are pretty much from the same guy and they are taken way out of context. Yes they are pretty inappropriate but his fiance cheated on him with someone famous and he is constantly reminded of it everywhere because the guy is famous. If you had actually seen the movie you would know that this guy, Drew, learns from his mistakes and realizes that he can't base his opinion of all women off one girl. People are too busy worrying about how obscene the movie is rather than the lesson it is trying to get across.

  • Ryan

    Okay... Your article is well written, but in that same breath you're really off point. It's a movie. Yes a lot of these experiences did happen, but to put blame on a movie and tie rape to it is pushing it. Go stand out there and protest infront of a sex offenders home. Thats actually logical. To point a finger and a person who made a movie based on his life experiences is wrong. And to state that he only degrades women. I don't know if anyone I knew shit themself would publish it or even tell anyone. Like he said in his book, he doesn't lie. He just tells it the way he sees and and doesn't follow social norms. He's not pushing it his way of life on anyone. Just because you don't agree with his way of life, doesn't mean that you should try to change him to what "you" think is right.

  • Someone

    Wow, if you think Tucker Max promotes "rape culture" then your focus is extremely skewed. You feminists should be going after japanese porn that shows women getting groped and raped on trains (not to mention tentactle monsters, hell the japanese have RAPE SIMULATER GAMES) not some asshole who gets drunk and fucks dumb bitches. Jesus.

  • riley

    this was the greatest book and the funniest fuckin movie ive ever seen people with low self esteem just always need something to protest

  • Damien

    I have an idea: Let's all stop worrying about what other people say and resolve to either see the movie or not. Better still: let the sel-righteous, over-serious pricks babble and let the Non-caring, weapons-grade douche-bottles go see the movie and then call it a day.

    Sound good? Great; peace out.

    P.S. I side with the douche-bottles; you know who you are.

  • Sarah

    You guys suck. I've read his book a countless number of times. I am a woman. Just saw the movie. Huge fan, hysterical. If you don't like it, you just don't have a sense of humor. Tucker is awesome, and like someone had said before, don't bother him just because he's fucking some dumb bitches. If you don't want to be a dumb bitch, don't be. Cause they're totally out there. I hate people like this. Get over yourselves and enjoy life instead of walking around with a pole up your ass.

  • Sir Charles

    thank you tucker for making me not feel so bad about myself. although i will not say you are the man. i'm glad my experiences are more flawless.

  • Summer ( yup im a women!)

    This makes me want to change my major. Way to go for taking things out of context and thinking you know how everyone feels. Its called a joke.

  • Danielle

    "My name is Tucker Max, and I am an asshole"... he states right off the bat that he is a jerk, he's a human being for crying out loud, everyone is an asshole, he just makes it known to the world.

    You cannot sit there and say that what he is doing is basically rape. He's an asshole, not a criminal. He has never been raped, no girl has accused him of rape, and just because he gets drunk and fucks girls does not mean he is capable of raping one.

    AND furthermore. If you even bothered to read the book or watch the movie, you'd know that Slingblade/Drew says half of those quotes you have posted. All of which he says in spite of being cheated on, so you have absolutely taken basically everything you have written out of context. In the end he realizes that not all women are like his cheating fiance. You'd know that if you actually did your research properly instead of just basing a biased feminist opinion, you idiot.

    I'm a girl, and I find Tucker to be hilarious and I loved the book and the movie. The guy loves women, sure he's a jerk but it must be working for him if so many women keep sleeping with him, no?

  • Alex

    - “The only way I can cut you deep is with a battle axe and a running start.”

    I lol'd

  • Philip

    "What a beautiful house, too bad nobody's home.."

    God I love this book.

    I am an NC State student and would like to say thank you to the university for understanding comedy. Someone please tell me one instance when Tucker Max has been accused of rape by the person he had sex with...Yep never happened. Embarrassed? No Doubt, but never rape. Please don't under mind a serious crime like that.

    BTW I bet if half of those protesters got laid the night before there wouldn't be a protest.

  • MissAlissa

    As a 39 year old woman, I thought the book was freaking hilarious! Lighten up. Where's your sense of fucking humor?
    While reading this book, I was alone in my house laughing out loud. Nowhere was rape involved. Not even close.
    Tucker just tells his stories with a reality that most people think and won't say.
    People who think the way this poster thinks are the same as the people who think rock and roll causes people to murder, commit suicide, or other silly shit.
    I'm glad that Tucker wrote this book. For 2 days now I have laughed my ass off.The last page left me wanting more. That my friends is excellent storytelling, and writing.

  • Ronan

    The bottom line here is simple. This movie is like any other comedy movie. If it doesn't fit your humor then don't watch it. That simple. As for the allogations that Tucker is a "rapist", people pull your heads out of your overly tightened anal sphincters. defines rape as quote "2 : unlawful sexual activity and usually sexual intercourse carried out forcibly or under threat of injury against the will usually of a female or with a person who is beneath a certain age or incapable of valid consent". If you people actually paid attention to any of Tucker Max stories or the movie itself then you would know that what he does is in no way, shape, of fashion considered rape or his own writings would have put him in prison by now.

    @Ryan "Okay… Your article is well written, but in that same breath you’re really off point." Actually this article is not very well written because the people writing it didn't know what they were talking about. They looked at a couple lines from the movie and book and decided they were experts on the topic.

  • Diane

    I think the movie and book are fabulous. It doesn't fit everyones personaility, but nothing ever does. If a woman is offended then there might be some truth in what he is saying that she finds in herself. Most women get pissed when people call them out. Tucker Max is calling women out. If a woman wrote a book about a man this way they would be heralded by all of the feminists that they could rally. IF people would actually read/listen to what he says, "Rape's not funny, murder can be"...He is not condoning rape by any means. There are drones of women and men that feel that they need to drink in order to feel more comfortable to approach the opposite sex. However, some people aren't smart enough or have enough self-control not to go to excess and therefore place themselves in messed up situations. But, sex with a drunk girl is NOT rape. She made her choice when she put on her heels, lip gloss, sluttiest outfit and downed half a bottle of patron while hitting on a guy to pay for it all and encouraging him with the prospect of getting laid.

    Before any of the females respond to what kind of female they think I am let me clarify. I am a happily married mother of 3 that just happens to have a personality. I don't let my kids watch this movie, they aren't old enough. I don't even have to drink or smoke in order to have a sense of humor or an open mind. The world needs more women with open minds and personailities. Take care and if one man can really upset you that bad talk to a counselor. :)

  • cj

    I think what has happened is too many do gooders jump on the band wagon and want to add their ideas and input. The can take any piece of writing and read it how you want, to some people Tucker Max is just humour, to others he's the king of rape.
    I am a girl, and yes Tucker Max is sexist but I have never even considered him to be 'rapey' sexist? Yes, but rapist, no.
    I think people need to just chill out about things and stop reading too much into it, if you don't like something, don't go out of your way to be involved or near it, leave it for the people that do enjoy it and do want to be a part of it!
    And if this does impress or encourage people then the problem is not with the book, it's with the individuals that are influenced easily and need to get a grip on reality rather than taking a book so seriously!

  • Katie

    Alright seriously, men say this kind of shit all the time. Your guys are just freaking out because someone finally made an honest fucking movie about it. There joking! If your so shocked and taken aback by the "blasphemy" in this movie, walk through a regular high school the shit you would hear would out you into cardiac arrest if you think this movie is bad. I'm seventeen, and seriously you need to get a life. And grow. Up.