Washington City Paper: Contents for Mar. 16

Down the Homestretch
Believe Laurel Park's aging denizens when they talk about their decades at the racetrack. Don't believe them when they talk about that sure-thing long shot.

Cover Story

Nothing stinks up a rail car so quickly, so effectively as an old man digging into an open can of Vienna sausages.

Green Jacket rattles his plastic fork around the insides of the small tin. He takes the occasional breather from his pungent lunch by reaching a shaky, spotty hand for a cup of red goop--Jell-O? pudding? borscht?--teetering on the inch of seat available between his legs. After a few sweet gulps of this runny concoction, he's back to attacking those miniature franks, stabbing down hard, swift, and strong. He's making quick work of them, too, popping the fatty little devils into his craw as if the possibility of their escaping the clutches of his fork is very real indeed.

Across the aisle from Green Jacket is his buddy, Red Jacket, munching on some crackers. Red Jacket is oblivious to the thick sausage stench clouding up the train--this stench: like raw bologna long forgotten and left to bubble in the August sun. Older than Green Jacket's most certain 80-plus years, Red Jacket is wheezing out in jubilation, speaking a string of words that ring like code: "Didja hear? Aqueduct. Superfecta. $79,000. That's a record.

A record."

Green Jacket lets out a muffled grunt--"Hermph!"--then returns to his lunch. He stares longingly into his can of sausages. Empty. All gone. So he raises the can to his lips and slurps down the Vienna juice, every last drop. He then swirls his tongue around the insides of his cup of red goop. That's gone, too. Green Jacket tucks both can and cup into a brown sack by his feet. Lunch is over.

"Gentleman, how are you today?" the conductor asks, grinning at the two passengers.... Continued

Issue of Mar. 16 - 22, 2001

News and Features

Down the Homestretch
Believe Laurel Park's aging denizens when they talk about their decades at the racetrack. Don't believe them when they talk about that sure-thing long shot.
Cover Story By Sean Daly
Net Losses
D.C.'s health-care restructuring puts the squeeze on the city's nonprofit clinics.
The City By Kai Wright
Wrestling With Angels
Amid the growing debate over faith-based initiatives, D.C.'s largest rescue missions choose to render unto Caesar or ignore him entirely.
The City By Dave Mann
Bad Company
Shaw reformers can't cope with "Mahdi" Leroy Joseph Thorpe Jr.
The City By Elissa Silverman

Columns

Going Camping
Cheap Seats By Dave McKenna
Physician, Heal Thyself
Loose Lips By Jonetta Rose Barras
Hard Cell
City Desk By Annys Shin
Weather or Not
City Desk By Richard Byrne

Eats

Movies

Absolutely Fabulist
Film Review By Mark Jenkins
Three's Company
Film Review By Joel E. Siegel
Hardcore Reality
Talking Pictures By Mark Jenkins
Get Over It
Film Review By Tricia Olszewski
Enemy at the Gates
Film Review By Mark Jenkins

Music

Dream On
Music Review By Shannon Zimmerman
Mississippi Burning
Music Review By John Murph
Rock and Roll (Part Two)
Acts Locally By Michael Little

Theater

Coyote Ugly
Theater Review By Trey Graham
King's Dominion
Theater Review By Bob Mondello

Arts and Events

Never Mind the Shit-Weasels
Stephen King's newfound faith in the living--and waning interest in blood and guts--has made him one of the finest prose craftsmen of our time.
Arts By Sean Daly
Spy Hard
Artifacts By Brent Burton
Write and Wrong
Artifacts By Louis Jacobson