Hey, Kids!

To reveal the rhythmatist, click on the face you suspect belongs to the tub-thumper. (Be advised that the "Theory of Beards" is unproved.)

BA-DA-BOOM! More ways to win stylin' Washington City Paper Web T-shirts.

1. Tell us the name of the band.
   Or...
   
2. Tell us which band member will quit the band, and why.
   Or...
   
3. Tell us which band member will be fired, and why.
   

Answer any of those questions to our satisfaction and a T-shirt is yours. E-mail your best guess to webmeister@washcp.com.

LAST WEEK'S MYSTERY BAND: Our old pal Glenn Flaherty, late of Peroxide (read the Pop Quiz here), wrote in to suggest that the "band is called Übermensch of Suburbia, formerly known as I Like Black Lights. They are a band tough enough to scare the hair off their heads, but inward-looking enough to accept being cross-eyed. But as a credit to their generosity of spirit, they donate all of their hair to their less secure member on the far left, so he may reign supreme with his 1994 hacky sac haircut."

"I'd like to say that they are addicted to listening to Information Society all day, but that would just be a sad projection of my own circumstances," Glenn further admits, adding, "Man, I'm still crushed that they didn't get back together on Bands Reunited. I guess I'll have to listen to Peace and Love Incorporated all alone, with only the realization that watching Kurt Valaquen roll around on his skates one last time will never be more than a whimsical dream. Say it ain't so, say it ain't so."

Sadly, it is. That Amir guy just isn't working hard enough. But hard-working Kip Shepherd yelled his customary "Hey!" greeting and alleged that "It's the Angry Young Blue Man Group. This was before they discovered performance art and were still doing Ozzy covers down at that place by the old paint factory. You know, the one that never checks ID's because the guy who runs it is really the police chief's cousin. Yeah, that's the place."

I think we've been there. Similarly, Matthew Nelson offered the Hard-Ass Blue Man Group—a nice guess—and old buddy Bill Ribas mined the same vein with this account:

God only knows where you pull these poor slackers from, but the drummer is easily spotted by his sleepy eyed countenance. Yeah, there's not much going on there for sure, and his vacancy-sign expression proves that. But what of the other three lads? Three words suffice—Blue Man Group. Yep. These knuckleheads go on to do Intel commercials after slathering countless denizens of the Lower East Side with a hellacious blue goo. Oh yeah, they're cool, they don't speak, and their comedic arsenal is more powerful than Gallagher (the original or his brother), and yeah, the hip shake their heads in amazement. Me, I don't get fooled. A decent 12-pack of cans is still around 8 bucks, there is nothing on cable TV, the economy is in the shitter, and my kids are freakin geniuses. Oh, and happy holidays to you, too. Peace out.

Peace out, my friend. Finally, Liz Canale, bless her soul, guessed Chumbawamba. But, in fact, the band was COLD EXISTENCE. Because, you know, it's been cold here. Like in Sweden, where this "melodic death metal" band lives.

And so we bring another fabtastic year at Spot the Drummer to a close. We're off next week, but will return with more quizzes, contests, and mad T-shirt giveaways on Jan. 7, 2005. Thanks to everyone for brightening up the Internet in general and my in-box in particular. Aw, shucks, there we go gettin' all sentimental. We swore we wouldn't cry! We swore...sniff...