Hey, Kids!

To reveal the rhythmatist, click on the face you suspect belongs to the tub-thumper. (Be advised that the "Theory of Beards" is unproved.)

BA-DA-BOOM! More ways to win stylin' Washington City Paper Web T-shirts.

1. Tell us the name of the band.
   Or...
   
2. Tell us which bandmember will quit the band, and why.
   Or...
   
3. Tell us which bandmember will be fired, and why.
   

Answer any of those questions to our satisfaction and a T-shirt is yours. E-mail your best guess to webmeister@washcp.com.

LAST WEEK'S MYSTERY BAND: Old pal Jeff from the Pharmacy Prophets wonders, "Is it Blynd Melun, the Blind Melon tribute band? Or do they just look/smell like it?"

Ha. Good one. New friend Jennifer Connell delights in the fact that she "picked the drummer because he looks familar, and I was hoping to get a name. For the band, how about, Corruption?"

Entirely plausible. Ol' reliable Kip Shepherd suggests, "The band is Ian Dreary & the Blackheads." Heh-heh. Good one. Kip goes on to say, "Smiley is gonna be the first to go if he doesn't wipe that smirk off his face. He's ruining the image!"

This opinion was echoed by Doug Wheeler:

"Hi, were are from Norway (or Sweden) and we are here to rock you. Welcome to Jaxx."

The guy smiling is obviously brand new. He is way too excited to be in the band. He will be fired because smiling while in a death-metal band is sacrilege. In Europe, this is a jailable offense. I am proposing this law to the city council next week. Europe is always ahead of us. Bastards.

Bastards, all! But geographically wrong. What's the word, you ask? Johannesburg, of course. Actually, the word is MISERICORD, which is defined on this Johannesburg, South Africa, metal band's site as "a dagger, a support for someone who is standing, and a special monastic apartment." They "share the same name because, oddly enough, they are all examples of mercy."

OK, mercy it is. But maybe not next week.