Y&H has understood for more than two years now what kind of animosity tipping can bring out in diners. For those who don't remember, or missed it altogether, check out this July 2007 edition of Ask Tim, which generated 70 comments, many of them quite nasty toward the idea of a required 20 percent tip.

It was clear then, and it's clear now: The whole process of compensating waiters and waitresses is totally messed up. It creates resentment on both sides of the table.

But what's the solution? Raise the price of a meal? I doubt that, in this economy, many restaurateurs would be inclined toward that idea. Automatically put the tip on every check? I doubt diners would cotton to the notion of stripping them of their right to tip according to the level of service.

Maybe we should try to professionalize the whole wait service industry and make it more like the French model? I think part of the problem is that Americans still view waiters and waitresses as second-class citizens, as artsy-fartsy actors and actresses (or writers or painters or just no-talent bums who think they're artsy) who're waiting tables while waiting on their big break.

I think professionalizing the trade would go a long way toward creating sympathy for one very difficult job. And believe me, I know exactly how difficult it is from direct experience.

Image by indip.dj via Flickr Creative Commons, Attribution License

But sometimes the front of the house staff is just clueless. I mean, utterly, painfully clueless, and their cluelessness can hurt a diner's experience. Let me give you two examples from the weekend:

• Our waiter at Dr. Granville Moore's started off great. He was funny. He knew his Belgian beers. He didn't press us. But as his section began to fill, and his nerves began to fray, his charm wore thin, which was fine. We don't need to be charmed. What we don't need, however, are insults. My two oldest friends were visiting D.C. this weekend. One of them decided as a New Year's resolution to forsake drinking. At one point in the dinner, my friend stopped the waiter and said, "This may be a stupid question, but do you have any non-alcoholic beers?" The waiter's response? "No, we don't," he said, then paused, as if for emphasis, "and yes, it was." Y&H tip: When a customer is showing obvious deference to your precious Belgian beer concept by beginning an inquiry with, "This may be a stupid question," you don't insult them in return, even if you think you're making a joke. Overworked waiters, their stress showing with every tense and terse sentence, should not try to crack jokes or tease diners whom they just met 30 minutes ago.

• Before we dropped our friends at the airport on Sunday, we stopped by Leopold's Kafe & Konditorei in Georgetown for brunch. We called five minutes before we arrived to see if they had a table. They said they did, and Carrie and I dropped off our friends at the entrance to Cady's Alley so that we could search for parking. Our friends met up with a hostess who told them that, in no certain terms, a table wouldn't be ready for 20 minutes and that they didn't know about the call we had made just five minutes earlier. Fortunately a table mysteriously appeared, but the hostess staff's rudeness continued. Behind our table, four elderly diners were crammed into a table at the end of the banquette. Next to the quartet was a two-top bar table. There literally was no way to access the chair on the farthest side of the two-top without forcing the elderly group to stand up and move their table six inches to the left. Which they couldn't do even if they wanted; there was no room to move their table six inches to the left. So what did the hostess do after escorting the young women to their inaccessible two-top? Nothing. She walked away, only to briefly turn around and point at the perplexed patrons and, essentially, tell them to go ahead and squeeze into the table. One of the women was forced to walk under the table to reach her chair. Y&H tip: A hostess' job is not to be a princess who merely greets customers upon entry. You're the first impression every diner will have of the restaurant, which means that you must be more than a pretty face. You must use your brain, too. Don't force customers to work out their own problems.  Fix them yourself. Or notice the problems before they become problems.

Image by Flickr user b r e n t