Like beer? How about animals? Yes? Well, you're in luck. The annual "Brew at the Zoo" event at the National Zoo is scheduled for Thursday, August 20. Sponsored by Friends of the National Zoo (FONZ), the event will raise funds for the Zoo's education, sustainability, and conservation programs. Tickets are $35 for FONZ members; $50 for non-members. For that you'll be able to sample beers from more than 35 microbreweries, stuff you face with food from three local restaurants (Armand's Pizza, Hard Times Restaurant, and Rocklands BBQ), all of it to the familiar tunes of Eighties cover band, Gonzo's Nose. For those of you with more coin to spend, you can also purchase VIP tickets, which grant access to a reserved section with a separate bar and an expanded range of local restaurants, including Brasserie Beck, CommonWealth Gastropub, EatBar, Eatonville, and Urbana. You'll also get a free t-shirt and special animal demonstrations from Zoo staff. For that, members will pay $70; non-members $85.

The list of participating breweries is still being settled, but a FONZ press release names those that have already signed on:

• Boston Beer Company
• Brewery Ommegang/Duvel Moortgat
• Crown Imports
• Dogfish Head
• Flying Dog Brewery
• Gordon Biersch Brewery Restaurant
• Harpoon Brewery
• Hook and Ladder Brewing Co.
• Independent Brewers United (Magic Hat Brewing Co. & Pyramid Brewing Co.)
• Legends Limited
• Otter Creek Brewing/Wolaver’s Certified Organic Ales
• Paleewong Trading Co., Inc.
• Peak Organic Brewing Co.
• Saranac F.X. Matt Brewing
• Sierra Nevada Brewing Co.
• Stoudt's Brewing Company

When I was little I once saw a Family Circus cartoon in which the father, on Independence Day, thanked China for their fireworks, Germany for their picnic of sausages and coleslaw, and so on. It was about as funny as, well, Family Circus — but the message stuck with me.

So on that note, I remind those of you stuck in the imports section of your beer store that America is home to the world's most diverse beer selection, including many of the finest and certainly the freshest. This Independence Day weekend (I'm starting mine today), buy American beer. If you have a friend who thinks Stella Artois is the gods' gift to Belgium, send 'em this way for a list of proper American substitutes.

• Heineken (or Stella Artois) — Of the imports on this list, Heiney's the one I'm least offended to get for free at a party. But it's still just the Budweiser of Europe. If crisp, clean lagers are your thing (and in July, they're certainly mine), try Stoudt's Gold Lager or Sierra Nevada Summerfest.

• Guinness — Stout in the summertime is a bold move anyway, so go whole hog with Stone Imperial Russian Stout, a black hole of a beast. For something on the sweet side, Founders Porter is possibly the best American porter I've ever tasted, with huge chocolatey flavors and a hint of roastiness to balance.
• Corona — Sigh. White wine, I guess. I hear they sell that stuff in juice boxes now.
• Newcastle or Amstel Light — Brown ales, like the sweet Ellie's Brown Ale from Avery, are perfect for introducing newcomers to good craft beer. For something a bit hoppier, I turn to Troegs Hopback Amber Ale again and again.
• Chimay (and Belgians in general) — Of course, there are imports out there that don't come from giant conglomerates and even taste like beer. And guess what? America's got that style down. Jolly Pumpkin excels in many Belgian styles, with beers like their Bam Biere saison. (Check De Vinos in Adams Morgan.) For some that are more widely available, Brooklyn Local 1 and Allagash Confluence are two complex Belgian-style ales made just up the East Coast.

That's just a quick list. What are y'all drinking this coming weekend? Any other imports you'd like a recommendation on? Fill up that there comments section, and I'll get right back at you.

Photo by cristinabe via Flick, Creative Commons Attribution License

Many of these extremely rare beers will never be offered again so if you miss the worlds (sic) sexiest Grandmother you are missing the grandmother of all extreme beer lineups too!

I'm not protesting the "sexiest grandmother" title — that's a lose-lose argument — but the 'Skeller's mistake was in touting the "extreme" beers when the true star of the night was Stoudt's lineup of quiet, balanced, even conservative offerings. With so many American microbreweries scooping up hops by the ton and barrel-aging anything that foams, a crisp pilsner or a well-executed hefeweizen can be damn refreshing.

Stoudt's is a family-owned brewery from Adamstown, Pa., about half an hour from Lancaster, the heart of Pennsylvania Dutch country. The family opened a German restaurant in 1962, which is still open today under the name Black Angus. The brewery was born in 1987. German heritage can still be seen in many of their beers, most notably their wheat and lager offerings, both of which use yeast from the heralded Weihenstephaner brewery. (Weihenstephaner was my personal favorite from last summer's Wheat and Lowdown taste-off.)

Of the eight beers we sampled, not all were stellar, and there were one or two I wouldn't drink again. But without fail, every beer nailed two things: carbonation and mouthfeel. All of the brews were full on the palate — light and refreshing where appropriate, but never fizzy or watery. These are hard things to get right, especially with the lighter styles Stoudt's specializes in, and compared to the hop bombs of late, their line-up was restrained, balanced, and almost zen. I think they helped my chi.

Breathe...relax...Drool List:

• Brewers Reserve Kolsch – I sniffed and sniffed, but got no aroma. Kolsches are ales brewed at cold temperatures normally reserved for lagers, which can result in crisp hops and a round, sweet maltiness. This one was slightly metallic, like corn flakes. Moving on...
• Gold Lager – ...and we've arrived. This poured a deep gold, with fresh aroma pouring out: lemon, apple, quince. (Yeah, I'm not sure I could sniff out a quince either. But that's what I wrote down.) Their lager uses Hallertauer hops, a super-aromatic variety you might've had in Samuel Adams' Imperial Pilsner. All this made for a wet, almost chewy lager with a flavor that stuck around.
• Heifer in Wheat – This was another standout, with big, velvety banana flavors and wee notes of lime and clove. It's the best American take on German hefeweizen I've tried yet. Sound like faint praise? Shove one in front of a Blue Moon drinker sometime and get back to me.
• Pils – The German-style pilsner is much leaner and hoppier than the lager, and a good starting point for hopheads trying to come off their high. The nose brought green apple and wet grassy notes, but the flavor was all Saaz hops (the standard for pilsners), with a flash of strawberry at the front. This beer and the two that preceded it really benefited from Stoudt's signature soft carbonation — enough bubbles to bring out the flavors but keep it smooth going down.
• American Pale Ale – Pale ale is Stoudt's top-selling beer, and it's also the most popular style among U.S. microbrews. This one was harsh though, all hops and black pepper. I think it was surprisingly low 4.5% abv, which meant the beer couldn't conjure up enough maltiness to mask the hops. That's another point of restraint: the first six beers we tasted were all below 5% abv, an anomaly among micros in the Land of the Whopper.

Here we took a quick break.

• Scarlet Lady ESB – My least favorite of the night. Like the pale ale, either its low maltiness or abv (4.8%) couldn't stand up to the metallic hops.
• Double IPA – Ohhh yeah, that's the stuff. Nothing like six restrained beers to put a hop addict through withdrawal. Good as they are at subtlety, Stoudt's double was one of their highlights. It's hops were reigned in, dressed in some serious orange and tangerine sweetness. A very balanced double IPA, and as far as sweet doubles go, I think it would put Dogfish Head's 90 Minute IPA to shame. This will require further research.
• Fat Dog Stout – Coffee, coffee, coffee. This was a roasty imperial stout with a little rust and some faint licorice, and really benefited from the low carbonation. There's lots of good imperial stouts out there, though, and I'd like to see it side-by-side with some big shots. Still, a nice nightcap.