More false advertising from Taylor Gourmet? It turns out, the real mayor didn't show up for the fancy sandwich shop's grand opening festivities on 14th Street NW on Tuesday. When the operators said "mayoral ribbon cutting," they were apparently talking about these guys. [Twitter]

Forget paying 29 cents for water. The stuff from D.C. taps  is now free at Elisir; bottled water, meanwhile, will set you back $3.49. [Washingtonian via Eater DC]

Zuppa Fresca has opened in NoMa [Prince of Petworth]

Oh, truck it: those zany Fojol Bros. are at it again, this time with Thai food. [Washingtonian]

The whipped cream variety is nothing: flavored vodkas may only get stupider in 2012. [Post]

Tips from a hipster dieter: eat Ethiopian, drink Miller Lite and avoid Five Guys fries at all costs. [Express Night Out]

If the gang out in Lorton wants to capitalize on this sort of newfound transportation hub-based acclaim, they ought to consider sticking their next area Five Guys location inside Union Station. That awful place could seriously use one, too.

Photo by Bobak Ha'Eri/Creative Commons Attribution-Share Alike 3.0 Unported license

Any guesses which ones? The guy has already been to Ben's Chili Bowl, Five Guys, Ray's Hell Burger, Ted's Bulletin, Restaurant Eve, Good Stuff Eatery, 1789 and Equinox, among other places.

Photo by Фото пресс-службы Президента России/Creative Commons Attribution 3.0 Unported License

Image courtesy of Consumer Reports

NBC Washington

Photo by Bobak Ha'Eri/Creative Commons Attribution-Share Alike 3.0 Unported license

Classy Superlatives

Hankerin' For Humidity: Hitchin' up to Hill Country, Y&H alum Todd Kliman prefers his brisket "moist"—"a synonym for fatty, [this] is brisket at its best—tender, rich, with a deep-pink hue that points to a thorough penetration of smoke and with a nice, thick bark. Good barbecue doesn’t need sauce, and this one doesn’t. (It could stand less salt, however.)" [Washingtonian]

Survey Says: Despite the Shake Shack invasion, Five Guys remains the region's most popular burger. [WaPo]

It Takes Ballston: Jimmy John's Gourmet Sandwiches is opening its second Arlington location. [ARLnow]

Guac the Line: Try some muddled avocado in your margarita. [EndlessSimmer]

Photo by Biskuit/Creative Commons Attribution-Share Alike 2.0 Generic License

Where's the Beefyness?

Actual Pie Tasters Meet The Pietasters: A preview of Sunday's 9:30 Club charity event, Soundbites, with tunes and tastings galore: "one of those rare moments of perfect synergy of (good) food and (good) music." [Brightest Young Things]

Deep Thoughts With Heinz 57: Appearing on Kojo Nnamdi's radio show, chef José Andrés encourages diners to start asking probing questions of the stuff on their plates, like "why are you the ketchup I'm eating today?" [Eater]

The Deviled's In the Details: A rundown of D.C.'s best deviled eggs outside your own picnic blanket. [Washingtonian]

Photo by Steven Depolo/Creative Commons Attribution License

Nearly four years ago, I was on the flip-side of this equation, during the opening of the first Five Guys location in New York. “Now D.C.’s got nuthin’ on us!” declared one of many proudly posted comment cards displayed inside the Brooklyn address. The place immediately drew comparisons to Meyer's Shack and burger buffs converged in droves to see how D.C.'s famous burgers stacked up against the New York standard bearer.

I recall one unprovoked critic who, after gobbling his burger, emphatically preferred Meyer’s glorified hot-dog stand. "Shake Shack!"

“It’s the potato buns,” concluded his buddy across the table, referring, of course, to Meyer's buns. “Makes all the difference.”

It will be interesting to see if D.C.-area diners respond differently.

How does the Shack burger stack up? Stick your opinion in the comments section.

Shake Shack, 1216 18th St. NW

Photo by Chris Shott

Eating my way through your advice, an ambitious list of vegetarian sandwiches from 24 different restaurants. More Comments Come True.

I witnessed the glory and gluttony that is a vegetarian who refuses to eat vegetables. I don't want a grilled cheese sandwich every time I crave a meatless sandwich. Sometimes, though, that is exactly what I want. While a true DMV-wide grilled cheese search is in order, I'm testing the ones readers submitted—from Sticky Fingers Bakery, Five Guys Burgers &Fries, Busboys and Poets, and Jaleo—as a great alternative to boring veggie-filled vegetarian sandwiches.

Where: Sticky Fingers
What: Grilled Diya (original comment).
Bread: Multi-grain, from Lyon Bakeries.
Cheesiness: A mix of shredded mozzarella and cheddar, from Daiya. This vegan cheese didn't allow for the gooey, melty factor, much need for a proper grilled cheese: when tearing the two halves apart there weren't those "strings" of cheese. The flavor of the cheese was pretty bland, but I'm also not used to vegan cheese.
Extras: Because it was a vegan sandwich (and, again, I'm not used to vegan cheese) I figured the cheese needed as much help as it could get and ordered it with all of the available toppings. But, none of them helped – the tomatoes were flagrantly mealy, the onions were mostly raw (which was unpleasant textural contrast to the cheese) and the tempeh was flavorless. It didn't add the body, crunch, flavor and depth that a bacon strip would have contributed.
Grease Factor: Impressive, for the lack of real dairy fat. The grill is greased with Earth Balance margarine, which gives the sandwich that delicious shiny coating.
Back For Seconds: No. Maybe if I didn't eat real cheese, this could cut it. But I do, so I'll stick with a black coffee from Sticky Fingers for now.

Where: Five Guys Burgers and Fries
What: Grilled cheese (original comment).
Bread: A hamburger bun, turned inside out. Frankly, this creative use of bread won the sandwich some points—actually, its only points. With the sesame coating facing the cheese, the plain white side turns into that definitive grilled cheese crust.
Cheesiness: It's cheesy and has that weird yellow-orange color. I know ya'll are gonna swear I shouldn't be a food writer when you hear this: but I hate American cheese. I hated it my whole life, back when I was the quintessential picky eater as a kid. I hate the way it coats my teeth. I just keep rubbing my tongue around my mouth, and sometimes I even take a napkin try to wipe the remnants off my tongue and teeth. It's a life-long hatred. Just go with it. This sandwich is filled with American cheese, so, clearly, it skeeves me. But you might like it.
Extras: Sauteed mushrooms, which couldn't save the sandwich.
Grease Factor: It's from Five Guys. Yes.
Back for Seconds: Absolutely not.

Where: Busboys and Poets
What: Grilled Brie Panini (original comment).
Bread: Ciabatta, beautifully pressed with grill lines.
Cheesiness: The brie softens from the heat, but stops short of melting into creaminess.
Extras: Spinach, caramelized onions, and tomato. After one bite I pulled the lifeless tomato off the sandwich. The onions offer a nice sweetness but the spinach is barely noticeable. I added the yellow table mustard for some help, but the sandwich stayed bland.
Grease Factor: Not too greasy, but I did wipe my fingertips before tapping on my keyboard.
Back for Seconds: Nah. There was nothing wrong with the sandwich, it just wasn't impressive. D.C. offers too many better sandwiches to try than to give this a second go.

Where: Jaleo
What: Grilled Cheese with Manchego, Murcia, Valdeón, and goat cheese with truffle oil (original comment).
Bread: It's called "rustic bread" on the menu, but it's really a French loaf.
Extras: Served with honey alioli, which combines house-made garlic mayo and honey.
Cheesiness: The combination of different cheeses creates both a creamy and gooey sandwich, which is quite rich, and is only enhanced with the sweetness of the side sauce.
Grease Factor: A classy amount of grease: just enough to remind you it's a grilled cheese, but not enough to be turned off.
Back for Seconds: Absolutely.

In order of appearance in the comments

1. Cork Market
2. Cowgirl Creamery
3. Busboys and Poets (sandwich 1) (sandwich 2)
4. Taylor Gourmet (sandwich 1)  (sandwich 2)
5. Booeymonger
6. Pret a Manger
7. California Tortilla
8. Jaleo (sandwich 1) (sandwich 2)
9. Highland Cafe
10. Jimmy John's
11. Greek Spot
12. Sticky Fingers
13. Earl's
14. Yum's
15. Super Taco
16. Luna Grill
17. Five Guys
18. Sidamo
19. Everlasting Life
20. Au Bon Pain
21. Devon & Blakely
22. Corner Bakery
23. Potbelly
24. Black Squirrel

Photos by Stefanie Gans