Proof

Whatever Gray's meaty creation, Karoum was picked the winner, earning both the respect of his peers and what appeared to be a congratulatory smooch from host José Andrés! (Read how Karoum prepared for battle here.)

In an earlier bout, an orgy of Top Chef alum took the stage as surprise guests: Good Stuff Eatery's Spike Mendelsohn, paired with The Chew's Carla Hall, topped rumor magnet Mike Isabella of Graffiato, paired with Jennifer Carroll (cooking in three-inch, calf-high boots), with their spin on patatas bravas made with a melon-baller.

The Ronald Reagan Building was totally packed, totally loud and totally full of old men in suits who shelled out $200 a pop (not including throwing down thousands of dollars for auction items) to attend the charity event, benefiting the D.C. Central Kitchen. The joint was so noisy that Andrés, dressed in an elbow patch blazer (what, does he think he's teaching a class at Harvard?), often had to scream into the mic to be heard. I think I overheard handsome co-host Anthony Bourdain ask the Minibar maestro if he was running for the White House.

The fashionable Hall, dressed in gorgeous skinny leather pants (she even let me feel them—soooo smooth), performed admirably in the role of auctioneer. She must be getting plenty of practice in speaking crazy fast from talking over Mario Batali on The Chew.

Some 60 local restaurants offered tastings during the competition. Dupont Circle's Casa Nonna, for one, was boiling fresh pasta on site for its sample plates.

Some photos from the star-studded soiree:

Secret ingredient: skate.

Nothing like raw meat, served in bulk.

Andrés, showing off the goods.

Duck and parmesan do go together.

I swear, Bourdain and I locked eyes. Or maybe he was just waving to friend Tim Carman.

Yes, apparently, pageants still exist. That's Miss District of Columbia standing with victorious chef Karoum.

Photos by Stefanie Gans

Openings, closings, events, charities, compiled from press releases, compressed into haiku

Roman-kind ah-peetz/Floating mozzarella trough/Blue crab, vegan pies; Fiorella Pizzeria, opening May 26, 152 National Plaza, National Harbor, Md., (301) 839-1811

Local chefs compete/Chili cook-off charity/Hot-dog eating match; from 11 a.m. to 5 p.m., May 30, Café Saint-Ex, 1847 14th St. NW, (202) 265-7839

Eating, painting, drinks/Meet "Masters' of Food & Wine"/Local vino, cheese; June 2-5, Blue Duck Tavern at the Park Hyatt Washington, (202) 419-6755

Top Chef's Carla Hall/Silver Spring tasting event/Challah bread pudding; from 11 a.m. to 1:30 p.m., June 12, $125 per person, address provided upon registration, (202) 450-2837

Photo courtesy of Café Saint-Ex

Cupcake Craze Hits New High: Frederick High School in Maryland is banning shared snacks after a 16-year-old student got sick from a friend's cupcake that authorities suspect was laced with something, possibly marijuana. (WAMU via DCist)

Bad Apple Martini: How ChurchKey became a revered beer mecca by doing things the opposite way that they were done at the former Brickskeller, according to ex-Brick suds-slinger Nahem Simon: “One of the things we learned was what you don’t do when running a business. You don’t sit on your laurels, you don’t cast aside your clientele, you don’t tell them, ‘Oh, we’re a beer bar, we’re not going to get you this and that.’ Why can’t you make a martini, why can’t you instruct your staff to be able to be as knowledgeable about the beer as they would about the wine, as they would about the spirits?” (We Love DC)

Chew On This: A local Top Chef alum is returning to TV. Bravo? No. ABC. (WBJ)

Destination Building: Taverns and cafes haven't detracted from other retailers along Barracks Row. Quite the opposite. Synergy! (Greater Greater Washington)

Photo by Quatrostein, Creative Commons Attribution License

Welcome to the Neighborhood! The multi-city food blog network Eater has finally set up shop in the nation's capital. [Eater D.C.]

New Positions: Carla Hall has joined the board of directors for the D.C. Central Kitchen. [DCist]

Exits: D.C. Coast's Brendan Cox is leaving the Washington area and moving to North Carolina to start a sustainable farm and restaurant in the Chapel Hill area. [Washingtonian]

It's official. As predicted by the National Enquirer of food journalism, next season's Top Chef will be a reunion show of contestants not good enough to win previous seasons, including three locally based cooks. Bravo producers are bravely calling this alumni gathering an "All Star" season.

The cable channel announced the full list of returning toques yesterday on its website, and it includes Carla Hall, Mike Isabella, and Spike Mendelsohn. The new season will launch on Dec. 1, but you get the feeling that Bravo can't move this baby through production fast enough.

Given the general dismissive attitude toward Season 7 of Top Chef — you know, the D.C. season in which producers actually forced the best chef to compete while sick in bed — I get the feeling Bravo is desperately trying to steer its flagship show back on course. Or at least back to ratings respectability.

But, really, an all-star/greatest hits package? Isn't that what dinosaur rock bands release when they've completely run out of ideas? I'm sure the next season will be a ratings monster, but isn't the bigger picture here something more ominous: that the format of Top Chef has become so moribund that the producers feel the need to inject a dose of its own colorful past to bring it back to life?

Discuss.

Among the returnees are three D.C. chefs, including Carla Hall, Spike Mendelsohn, and Mike Isabella.  (This no doubt helps to explain why Isabella had to leave Zaytinya so early to launch his own restaurant.)

The bummer about all this breaking "news" about next season's Top Chef is that it spoils whatever fun is left in the current season of Top Chef. According to Eater, all the returning chefs (excuse me, all the returning all stars) are those who lost on previous seasons. I wouldn't click on that Eater link if you want to remain innocent about the final four contestants on this season's Top Chef.

Good luck not clicking on that link.

Cooking for babies: So Tom and Padma both have infants. Tom and Padma are both judges on Top Chef. Tom and Padma are busy, flying here and there to run restaurants or write cookbooks or get pregnant. Tom and Padma don't have time for babies. Tom and Padma don't want to be turned into Child Protective Services. Tom and Padma ask the cheftestants during the Quickfire Challenge to cook a meal for them and their babies. Tom and Padma look like sensitive, caring parents. CPS pounds its fists in frustration.

The ghosts of spouses past: Earlier we learned that Timothy Dean still grieves for his wife who died three years ago from cancer. In Episode 4, we learned that Kenny Gilbert's first wife died, too. This is the most gruesome Top Chef in more ways than one.

Infant terrible: I don't know anything about baby food, other than it's usually bland. Babies are sensitive, even when it comes to their taste buds. Just as you wouldn't have your infant son strap on a batting helmet and face Stephen Strasburg before working his way through the minors, you don't serve your baby's developing palate a mush of penang-curry chicken. Or maybe you do? Padma picked Kenny's curry as her favorite. Tom, meanwhile, selected Tamesha Warren's vegetable chowder with grilled salmon and licorice oil. Licorice oil? Really? I'd hate to clean that diaper.

Luling calling: If this whole Top Chef gig doesn't work out, Padma might have a calling as a seed spitter. (See the Serious Eats picture above.) Too bad the Luling Watermelon Thump has just passed.

Judge snub?: The elimination round was a reach-around to the Hilton hotel chain, which no doubt needed some free help to devise a new dish for its menus. Of course, at this stage of the game, it's hard to summon much outrage for Top Chef's street-walkerlike ability to sell its program content for a few corporate shekels. The bigger head scratcher was the guest judges' table, where three D.C. TC alumni were asked to puzzle over dishes, including Spike Mendelsohn, Mike Isabella, and Bryan Voltaggio. So where was Carla Hall?

Tamesha the lioness: Angelo Sosa has the hots for Tamesha, the sous chef at the Oval Room, whom he mumbled something about her inner lion. Angelo clearly wants to roam her Serengeti. But Tamesha has a strong inner game warden. "There is no way it’s gonna happen," she told the camera.

The winner was the best of the losers: Let me see if I have this right. The "winner" of the elimination round was the team of two chefs, Kelly Liken and Andrea Curto-Randazzo, which wasn't good enough to impress the judges in the first two challenges? Their reward for their semi-competency was tickets to Italy and Spain. I wonder how the chefs felt who, you know, actually cooked well enough to earn immunity in the first two rounds? They got a one-way ticket to kitchen pantry to drink beer.

Double your pleasure: The best part of Wednesday's show? That two chefs got the boot. The sooner we wrap this yawner of a season, the better.

Photo illustration courtesy of Serious Eats

The scene inside the Reagan Building

Blue Ridge's Barton Seaver was gunning for the title for the third straight year at the 2009 Capital Food Fight, held last night inside the Reagan Building. His competition included not only last year's finalist, Peter Smith from PS 7's, but also two Top Chef contestants (Mike Isabella from Zaytinya and Bryan Voltaggio from Volt) and one out-of-town ringer, celebrity chef Michael Mina of Bourbon Steak.

Seaver performed honorably but ultimately lost to Mina the Carpetbagger. But, hey, it's not about competition, right? It's a fundraiser for D.C. Central Kitchen, the non-profit with the master plan to attack homelessness and poverty.

Below the fold are more pictures from the event, courtesy of Reflections Photography. Used with permission.

Mike Isabella, stressin', during an early round challenge.

Michael Mina, the very picture of calm

Judge Carla Hall, giving somebody what for.

Chairman and host José Andrés, no mere figurehead at this event

Co-host Anthony Bourdain, looking bemused

Ris Lacoste, dreaming of her restaurant opening

Judge Eric Ripert raises an eyebrow over something

Barton Seaver, losing with grace and a man hug

Ripert and winner, Mina: Can we get someone local in here?

Finally, after sitting there for what seemed like an eternity, I turned to Duarte and asked some questions about her Top Chef experience in hopes of jump-starting my memory. She was kind enough to give me the hint I needed. "They called me the Cougar," she said.

A light flipped on inside the dull fog of my brain. "I'm sitting next to The Coogs?" I said. "That's awesome!"

Did I mention that I had a glass or two of wine in me?

I took the opportunity to ask Duarte how life has been for her after Top Chef. Despite her middling performance — she was bumped mid-way through Season 5 for butchering an assignment to butcher lamb — Duarte has been able to milk her brief turn on the reality show. She's been on two Top Chef tours already, she told me, and has another one in the offing. Her restaurant, CulinAriane in Montclair, N.J., has been hopping, and she's about to officially launch a site called dinnertool.com, a database of recipes that can be sorted by ingredient, ease of preparation, and healthfulness, among other categories.

Duarte admits it was hard to get back into the swing of things after being on Top Chef. During the five weeks she appeared on the program, Duarte was not allowed access to newspapers, the Internet, or any other form of media. She was allowed to make phone calls back home to her husband and kids, but they were always on camera. It was like being in the witness protection program, she said.

"I had to learn how to live again when I get home," she said.

Photo courtesy of Bravo

And what are Isabella's qualifications, according to an anonymous Eater tipster? Tats and a "faux hawk."

[Insert arched eyebrow here.]

Never mind that Isabella works for José Andrés, one of the most influential chefs in the country. Or that he leads one of the busiest, most creative kitchens in D.C. Nope, he's got tats, baby.

If Isabella does head to Las Vegas, where season six will be filmed, Andrés may want to start searching for a new chef fast. The toques who appear on Top Chef tend to get the restaurant bug, meaning they get the desire to open their own. One of the few who didn't was D.C.'s own Carla Hall, who made it all the way to the finals last season.