Among the subjects are Michael Phelps and his 12,000-calorie diet, Batter Blaster, and the ousting of Gael Greene from New York magazine. But the funniest item may be James Norton's take on "That Darn Penis Restaurant":

It’s difficult to prove, but it seems likely that the 2008 Beijing Olympic Games received roughly equal to or slightly less coverage than Beijing’s now world-infamous Guolizhuang penis restaurant. Not since the premiere of Deep Throat ... what’s that? Rein it in? OK, just the facts. Go to Guolizhuang and order lovingly prepared deer, snake, yak, horse, seal, and/or duck wangs, among others. Eat them. Gain strength! Improve the quality of your skin! And, most important, finally look Andrew Zimmern in the eye and say: “Andrew Zimmern, I have risen to your level.”

1. Organic Pancakes in a Can!
2. Texas Brisket on Saturday Night...in D.C.
3. Corn Bread Is Not a Dessert
4. What Are the Coming Food Trends for 2009? Turkey Legs!
5. Enology's Chris Cunningham on Expanded Drinking Hours During the Inauguration
6. Tiffany Short on Expanded Drinking Hours During the Inauguration
7. Marketer Explains Why Free Sundaes for Kids Won't Increase Business
8. Capitol Hill Matchbox Set to Open Tomorrow
9. Two-Pound Truffle Sells for $200,000
10. Outlook Section Smacks Down Five Dangerous Food Myths

While grabbing lunch this weekend in the Palisades, the wife and I stopped by the neighborhood Safeway for a few dinner ingredients. As I got out of the car, I noticed this huge poster on the side of Safeway, advertising a monstrosity called Batter Blaster. They're pancakes in a can.

I'm sorry, I couldn't resist. I had to try it. I'm a sucker for American food-science ingenuity, no matter how stupid it is. I still remember how cool it was when someone invented stackable potato chips. Batter Blaster may remind you of Kraft's Easy Cheese, but its maker is aiming higher than that much-maligned product. The wheat flour, cane sugar, egg solids, and soybean powder are all organic.

BB squirts its raw batter like whipped cream from a Co2 canister. The pancakes, however, contain more air than bubble wrap. You can see the little air pockets everywhere as the batter starts to brown in your skillet. It makes for a very airy pancake, which is not the same as light and fluffy, believe me. This thing had all the heft of a rice cake.

I could have lived with the hot-air issue, I guess, but I couldn't swallow the hotcake's flavor. They were sweet, probably from the cane sugar, but they were so sweet I ate them without a drop of syrup. And what's a pancake without syrup?

In our house, it was dog food. Coltrane the beagle, by the way, loved them.