Young and Hungry

This Might Be D.C.’s Douchiest Restaurant Website

The shortcomings of restaurant and nightclub websites—annoying-to-switch-off music, curiously hidden basic information, PDF menus—are numerous and well-documented, and plenty of perfectly acceptable establishments are guilty.

Still, if a restaurant's online presentation tells you something about its ethos, then the most noxious examples of the genre also function as effective reverse advertisements. See the website for Lincoln, which flashes quotes from both the 16th president as well as the guy who deemed it a good idea to open a theme restaurant inspired by the 16th president. (Abraham Lincoln: "The better part of one's life consists of his friendships." Alan Popovsky: "I know they're talking about eliminating the penny but, I don't know – that seems so un-American to me.")

Way more pretentious than that is the website of H Street NE restaurant and lounge Da Luft, whose stock photos of ladies posing with disco balls would be the worst of it if not for the intro text, which pioneers exciting new combinations of elementary-school reading level and day-trader manifesto:

Thousands drive and walk through the streets of Washington DC uptown seeking a refreshing experience everytime. This powerful, charming and luxurious atmosphere always demands a destination of satire, refreshments and entertainment worthy of exclusivity and glamour. DA-Luft lends this experience to every noble patron once they walk into our doors. Socialize with the best of the beautiful, taste from the top-rated and drink from a wine cellar blessed by countries far and wide. In otherwords.. Escape the norm!

Either this is a particularly high-level spoof, or it requires some close reading.

Thousands drive and walk through the streets of Washington DC uptown seeking a refreshing experience everytime.

There are lots of people in the District who like to do lots of new things.

This powerful, charming and luxurious atmosphere

#boomtown, amiright?

always demands a destination of satire, refreshments and entertainment

Bottle service and bro hugs...

worthy of exclusivity and glamour.

and very large watches.

DA-Luft lends this experience to every noble patron once they walk into our doors.

Literally noble. Petit bourgeoisie, scoot it.

Socialize with the best of the beautiful,

Stay away, uggos.

taste from the top-rated

So top-rated it's nounless.

and drink from a wine cellar blessed by countries far and wide.

Far and wide = Russia, China, Australia

In otherwords.. Escape the norm!

OK.

  • Kev29

    The end has begun for H Street.

    Speaking of over, this Georgetown restaurant has an even worse site. http://www.thunderburger.com

    "We bring an edgy, rock & roll dining experience right to the heart of Georgetown. Our mouth-watering juicy and generously sized signature burgers are affordable works of art."

    "Take a seat at our trendy bar, the graffiti-highlighted banquettes and booths, or our ivy-covered library room"

  • DC

    Tacky, hustling, aspirational dreck like this is basically the Lingua Franca of all clubs.

  • DC

    Ah, Jesus. You didn't mention that the stock photos of girls with disco balls are presented as "Our Top 9 Photos of Last Week"!

  • hmhqunqr

    Only thing could make it worse is if they used Onswipe, amiright CityPaper?

  • Jim

    lol @ the onSwipe - it's horrible!

  • SW

    Comment #3: Ha! That was my favorite part of the website.

  • huh

    this is clearly a draft site put together by their web designer with made-up text.

  • Dno

    Ha, PoPville skewered this site a couple weeks ago too (I realize it's blog non grata around here). Reminds me of the "Opulence, I Haz It" commercial, though if Da Luft also has miniature giraffes I may have to check it out.

  • http://about.me/dcexplorer Levi Rokey

    I'd caution not to judge a book by its cover, but this website has been up for at least four months. When they painted the building I found it online. I find it amazing it still exists in this form. It's absolutely poor marketing on the part of the owners to leave things the way they are currently. Fix this now folks.

  • Nunya Bizness

    These people look like they are partying in Ukraine in the late 90's. The guy in the "Where is Waldo" shirt and the girl with the crimped hair are killing me ever so softly.

  • Mr.Remember

    Wait...the city is 51% black and not one pic. Maybe the disco ball queen is black but they just lightened her skin to make her appealing. Pictures are worth a thousand words...NOT!!!

  • Sam Wang

    My wife was just asking where the closest white people dance club was to our house. Answered.

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  • tomaj

    no one on the food blog noticed the menu? featuring "japanese sweet & sour sauce", "shrimp & grit" (only one grit?) "Blacken Chicken Masala" (that cajun favourite), "blacken tilapia" served in a "Rum butter cream sauce". "buffalo wings" served with "Lemon Pepper, Teriyaki, or Caribbean Style" (making them not buffalo style)

  • maktoo

    Sounds like the paragraph was put through a translating program and then spiffed up.

    oh and @Kev29 - a friend reports that despite the positive attentions of sassy waitresses, he rates the place poorly: the burgers at Thunder Burger are, in his words, "appalling".

  • EmJay

    This restaurant website was either created by non-native English speakers or the D students from an area high school English class.

  • http://www.restaurantize.com Restaurantize

    Wow - that is a bad web site - the Internet is littered with them but in the restaurant/food industry - customers place disproportionate weight to a website (second to reviews).

  • Jeff

    I kind of like the web site draft , I cant wait to see interior the name sounds unique and the exterior colors is very bold, lets commend people who take risk to set up business rather than criticize on the step of 9 to 5 Pm job cheers
    Jeff Olson

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