Young and Hungry

Ozersky to Five Guys Fans: You’re Mindless White Trash


File this under Fightin' Words.

Burger-meister Josh Ozersky posted this on his Twitter account earlier today:

Also: Five Guys is as bad a burger as there is. Their fans are basically the fast-food equivalents of Juggalos. I don't get it.

For the uninitiated (like me, until five minutes ago when I Googled the term), Juggalos are the rabid followers of Insane Clown Posse, the ultra-profane Detroit rap duo. Folks have compared Juggalos to gang members. Phoenix New Times wrote this about Juggalos in its area:

Metrocenter is one of Phoenix's two main Juggalo hangouts; the other being the Monstar Shop at Camelback Road and 35th Avenue. Mall security, shopkeepers, and other kids revile Juggalos, and it's easy to see why: They're grubby, self-proclaimed white trash with lip rings, baggy black jeans, chain wallets, and dirty goatees. Many are un- or under-employed. They smoke poorly constructed rollies to the stub and yell curse words at passing cars.

Congratulations, Five Guys fans. You've just been compared to violent, under-employed slacker kids who love to drink Faygo soda. If I had to guess, I say Ozersky was trying to imply that Five Guys fans are like mindless gang members who pledge allegiance to cultural crap.

Well, I have to hand it to Ozersky. He's certainly following his own advice.

  • E

    I have to agree, not with the Juggalos statement (that's harsh!), but with the statement that Five Guys' burgers are bad. I've tried a few now and always end up with a foil pouch of soggy, gooey... I don't know what. It's definitely not a burger. Just a bland slab of meat with overcooked toppings. No thanks! All you people that love 'em can have 'em.

  • Sean

    Those of us who gladly patron Five Guys as a welcome -- and locally-rooted -- alternative to the maddeningly unpalatable meat pucks of the mega-fast-food joints: Juggalos?

    If that means we now have license to pelt Mr. Ozersky with unopened soda cans, shoes and human excrement, well, then - I'm in!

  • Milo

    Uh, who the hell is this guy?

  • ShawGuy

    Who the hell is this guy the author, or who the hell is this guy the burger dude?

    Take away the author's assertion that Five Guys fans are mindless, violent morons and insert the burger dude's more probable analogy to Five Guy's fanboys as folks that mindlessly love something that the rest of the population "doesn't get".

  • Dennis

    Im not a huge fan of Five Guys, but its surely better than BGR

  • Donnie Rotten

    I used to work a block from a Five Guys. The few times I got a burger from there it was soggy and gross by the time I got back to my desk. Why can't those jerks toast the bun? If you can't make a burger that doesn't have to be wolfed down in two minutes, you shouldn't be in business.
    Also, Shake Shack is crappy as well.

  • Native JD

    Tim, as much as I hate juggalos, it's Faygo.

    And 5 Guys is really a terrible burger.

  • Tim Carman

    Native JD,

    Thanks for pointing it out. Typo fixed.

    Just for the record, I've had good Five Guys burgers, and I've had tasteless Five Guys burgers. The factors that can affect the experience (skill of griddle cook, freshness of toppings and buns, alleged lesser quality of beef, a leaner beef that's losing its fat on the griddle)indicate a chain with a lack of quality control.

    To pick on Five Guys fans...well, I find that wickedly misplaced. It's like mocking the dude who finds the homely girl attractive. (OK, the homely girl with lots of money.) Just wrong.

  • Mr. Sparkle

    Fuckin' burgers, how do they work?

  • Gene

    Josh who?

    Just another tool with a twitter account, I guess...

  • Roger

    This guy is a goof. He thinks White Castle is what a real burger should be.

  • Gene

    I agree 100% with Tim's observation: I've had good 5-guys and I've had bad 5-guys (same w/Fudruckers, by the way). I guess the inconsistency is a product of franchising. They've gone "chain" now, and there's no turning back...

    Have you every enjoyed the cold, pasty Big Mac at 1:30 am from your local drive through, complete with carboard fries???

  • six1fojuggalo

    thats got to be the dumbest shit ive ever read.

  • NovaNicole


  • GoonieGooGoo

    who is this guy??
    Granted the FIVE GUYS franchises are nowhere near as good as the original location they all stem from...they are leaps and bounds above BK, Wendy's, and the other fast food joints.

    Now is it that 5 Guys has increased in size that hate is directed toward them.....or is it that one will always say the smaller burger joint is better??

    My bet is this Ozersky in a blind taste test wouldn't be able to tell one burger from another.

  • 843jugalo

    im a juggalo from mount pleasant sc im tryin to get juggalos together from sc hit me up at