The Embarrassment of the Cereal Bowl
When I walked in the door at the Cereal Bowl on Sunday afternoon, there wasn't a soul in sight other than a lone counter employee. I breathed a sigh of relief. I wasn't sure I wanted anyone spotting me in this cartoonish excuse of a Cleveland Park restaurant.
Now, you'd think that after all these years of eating out (and eating alone) in restaurants, I would never feel embarrassed to step foot into an eatery. I mean, I've developed a fairly high tolerance for public humiliation. But then again, I've never "dined" in a place like the Cereal Bowl before. I'm still trying to determine who eats at this place during traditional dinner hours. I suspect there aren't packs of 10-year-olds roaming Connecticut Avenue NW at that time of night.
It makes me think the Cereal Bowl views itself more as a snack and "dessert" outlet than a place for a meal.
There is, without a doubt, a lot of room for free-form self-expression at this place. You can mix and match any number of cereals — Froot Loops, Cap'n Crunch, Lucky Charms, Apple Jacks, Cinnamon Toast Crunch or, if you're feeling rather adult, Grape Nuts — and top your creation with fruits, nuts, granola or "sweets" like (I kid you not) chocolate cookie dough or apple pie filling.
The potential number of combinations must be larger than the 39th Mersenne Prime. The Cereal Bowl laughs in the face of your typical top-your-own fro-yo shop, where the potential options now seem puny.
To be honest, I had no idea what to throw together. I mean, it's not like I could consult Page and Dornenburg's The Flavor Bible to help me figure out whether Froot Loops would pair nicely with Fruity Pebbles or just prove to be one large artificially fruit-flavored sugar bomb. So I surrendered to two of Cereal Bowl's signature combinations: The "Sweetest Thing" and the "Morning Glory." They have trademark symbols (™) next to their names online. Of course.
I ordered the Morning Glory in the name of giving the Cereal Bowl a fair shake. Among the "cold bowl" combinations available, this is one of the healthiest — or at least unlikely to turn your teeth into potholes right on the spot. My bowl included Frosted Mini-Wheats, sliced strawberries and bananas, and slivered almonds (a combo that differs slightly from the version described on the Cereal Bowl's Web site).
The Sweetest Thing, by contrast, is a dentist's wet dream: a bowl filled with Lucky Charms, Cinnamon Toast Crunch, Fruity Pebbles, Nilla Wafers, and for a garnish, rainbow sprinkles. You feel dizzy just looking at it.
I sat at a table, alternating between the bowls that I filled with 2 percent milk. (You can also select whole, skim, or soy.) The Morning Glory ($3.49 for a small serving) was a perfectly acceptable bowl, sweet and fruity and as fresh as you're going to get from a box of breakfast cereal made in one of 18 countries where Kellogg's products are manufactured. On the other hand, the Sweetest Thing ($3.29 for a small) looked like someone had melted down a circus clown and tasted like cinnamon bun soup. I couldn't finish it.
As I was spooning down those bowls, I tried to make myself invisible to the customers coming through the door. I know it's stupid. It's my job. I have a semi-legit reason for being here, but I really didn't want to explain to Dean Gold or Frank Ruta, should they happen to wander by the front windows, why I was wasting a valuable meal on the Cereal Bowl and not their Cleveland Park restaurants.
Of course, now that I've had time to think about it, here's what I would tell them: I'm trying like hell to figure out how a place like the Cereal Bowl can succeed in Cleveland Park. I can understand how it could work near a college campus, maybe even in a post-collegiate bar district like Adams Morgan. But here in Cleveland Park, despite its numerous bars, I don't think there are enough drunks jonsing for a secondary sugar rush to make this place work.
Besides, no one ever seems to hang out at the Cereal Bowl. During my time there on Sunday, I'd guess about 15 people wandered in, all of them choosing to eat their orders elsewhere. It makes me think that others are embarrassed to be seen at the Cereal Bowl, too.
What do you think, Y&H Nation? Give me your opinions on the Cereal Bowl and other potentially embarrassing places to eat. E-mail me with your thoughts, and I'll post the best of them on the Y&H blog.
1:45 pm
the college campus thing is actually a good idea (college kids will eat anything). also some days i'd rather eat cereal than a damn overpriced bagel. you should let them know tim.
2:18 pm
Hey Tim - 2 things to consider.
1.) Sunday was a day when no one would have been out eating cereal anyway as they were trapped in church or at a family dinner
2.) The week before last there were lines out the door to get in. So I'd recommend a second go at it on another day.
2:23 pm
Am I right? Are those STYROFOAM bowls? If so, I hate that place even more than I already did, which was a LOT. I will gladly let myself be slapped down and learn that they're some kind of biodegradable thing. Hope so, actually. We need more styrofoam bits floating around the landfills just about as much as we need more fake color, fake flavoring and other non-additive chemical ingredients floating around in our bodies.
2:24 pm
J,
Agreed on both points. I will say this: I went in on Friday night, too, around 10 p.m. It was also dead. We only bought some coffee to go. But I need to try it during its prime breakfast hours.
-Tim
2:29 pm
Michael K - according to their site, the franchise prides themselves on being socially/environmentally friendly, and uses only 100% natural/biodegradable bowls and paper products.
That fact does not make me want to eat at the cereal bowl, though.
2:29 pm
If the medical marijuana bill passes anytime soon I bet the cereal bowl place will be overrun with patients who have a case of the munchies.
2:44 pm
That kid needs a hair net.
2:53 pm
The Cereal Bowl was packed twice when I went in. I am glad a place is around that I can take my kids to and I can go have a good cup of coffee at, has opened back in Cleveland Park.
I did check into the Bowls though because I would have a problem with the place if the bowls were styrofoam.
BUT---The Bowls are made out of sugarcane remains "tree free". I think you have given this place an unfair chance.
Dean Gold is a joke not a chef by any means Frank Ruta on the other hand is a stud and deserves the compliment you gave him.
Poorly written article. Anti-depressants and a significant other, may help your reviews.
2:54 pm
Wasn't Sunday Easter? Most places aren't open for that holiday. Of course they probably had a slower day. I have walked by atleast a half dozen times since they opened and they always seem to have fairly large crowd. Tim, i think you made up your mind before every stepping foot inside
3:09 pm
I live in Woodley Park and went to the Cereal Bowl on Saturday eveningish to check it out. Disclaimer: I am an adult who likes cereal and I enjoy mixing different ones together.
It was quiet, but there was a small group of teens (maybe even college age) hanging out in the back eating and talking.
The staff weren't overly friendly, but they looked nervous so I gave them a pass. I ordered The Sweetest Thing which probably could have easily done without the rainbow sprinkles and cookies. It was quite sweet but what would you expect? It's in the name!
I enjoyed it and would look forward to trying something else another time.
My fiance got one of their smoothies and he enjoyed it. I'm not much of a smoothie person but it was pretty good.
They have lots of other random stuff there too. (granola bars and other breakfasty snacks)
I think it's a cute concept (the staff wear pjs) and you can get a full box made up of your own combo of cereals.
I don't think it's trying to be a restaurant anymore than Coldstone is trying to be a restaurant. It's a novelty - and a different one at that.
I'm not sure exactly how well it will do once the initial excitement dies down, but I am sure glad to see businesses coming back into Cleveland Park so I wish them well!
3:09 pm
Um, I'd eat there and I'm 25. Cereal is awesome.
3:09 pm
Chad - I believe Tim has a significant other who he usually mentions in his stories so thats not a "zing"
3:25 pm
J- The "zing" was completely necessary based on the negative, melancholy, I love the Cure, I only come out at night, Oprah save me format of this article.
3:38 pm
Michael J. Wilkinson....you seriously need to RELAX.
Maybe you need to get in touch with your inner child.....which can only explain your hatred directed toward THE CEREAL BOWL
5:03 pm
I just think that Cereality does it better. They could learn from them.
http://www.cereality.com/main.php
5:59 pm
Cleveland Park is prime yuppie baby stroller / soccer mom territory. So I could see it attracting a bunch of parents who have money to burn on a cereal meal for their kids. It's the exact kind of family/kid friendly place they all want (and picture in their heads as they and their ANC oppose the liquor licenses of new restaurants that could potentially bring in people from outside the area who would park on their streets).
6:11 pm
Alex,
If Cereality can do it better why are they closing stores not opening them and this company seems to be growing. Plus they seem to have more the just cereal unlike cereality
6:24 pm
Cereality opened to great success on UPenn's campus a few years back and, wihin 18 months, was a vacant storefront--exactly what Cleveland Park needs. It's a cute concept for about a week, but not a plac you need to go back to more than once.
10:26 pm
Set foot. You set foot somewhere, or you step somewhere. You don't "step foot."
10:53 pm
i've passed by thrice in the past week--once with my 5 year old son, various daytime hours. Didn't notice anyone enter, and didn't particularly glance in their direction except the first time when i'd just missed Uptown's box office (what does that say about marketing?). THAT time i at least walked up to the window to confirm it was a cereal cafe.
i couldn't be less interested in the concept. i'll be surprized if they make it through May.
That said, dairy and soy both do me wrong. How about some almond milk?
But i could see using them to sample cereals, if i bought those kinds of cereals.
8:33 am
My thoughts?
Haters suck.
Those are my thoughts.
Also, the new layout of the WCP site sucks as well. Pass it on to the morons who re-designed your site.
9:06 am
Gene - the site aesthetically may be bad- but the functionality is 100 times better. Go to another site if you dont like it. Hater
3:49 pm
Do people wear footie pajamas when they "dine" here?
Please give generously when you receive your envelope in the mail for the "Arrested Development Fund". Together, we can find a cure.
8:26 am
J,
You're high. The functionality sucks, as does the inability of the text on the page to position within differing window sizes.
An eighth-grader can do a better job than this P.O.S.
9:21 am
Make sure your using a higher version of Internet explorer- the older versions make things slightly screwy. The sites fine in Firefox. hater
5:34 pm
Even more proof that DC has extremely poor taste. Both literally because some of those concoctions sound vile and metaphorically because, seriously? You're going "out to eat" for a bowl of cereal? I can't wait to start my canned fruit stand...
12:09 pm
Higher than IE7?
Right.....
Tool.
12:11 pm
This new site layout blows, and it appears the folks at WCP are too stupid to realize otherwise....
Oh well, it's free, after all. So, the value argument is kind of out the window...
9:56 am
baby strollers should be strong and sturdy, avoid those baby strollers that are made from plastic;-:
10:27 am
the best restaurants usually serve super delicious foods at a very low price "
2:51 pm
i would like to think that the best restaurants would serve very delicious and healthy foods ~'-
9:40 am
Cereal bowl is AMAAAZING!! I love that place! I wish they can open a store in miami! Again you went in at the wrong time and for the wrong purpose. You are right it's not supposed to be a full meal, it's a snack/breakfast type of a place. Overall everytime am in DC I visit and it's paacked!
11:14 pm
Cereal Bowl is in Miami and seems to have a decent amount of business... not great.
I read somewhere they signed a franchising deal but like most others that have posted I really don't see this business lasting the long haul, more of a novelty.
Time will tell....
8:23 pm
SENT THIS MESSAGE TO CEREALITY. HOPE IT WORKS!
I'VE STARTED MANY SMALL BUSINESSES. I'VE HAD TO DO ALOT OF THINKING ABOUT WHY AN IDEA WORKS OR DOESN'T. HERE IS MY ANALYSIS ON WHY WHAT I SEE ISN'T WORKING. TRY THESE IDEAS. THANK ME LATER.
PROBLEMS:
EATING CEREAL OUT OF A CHINESE TAKE OUT BOX. - HECK NO.
PROBLEM; BOXES INSIDE CABINET MAKE ME FEEL LIKE I'M PAYING FOR THE WHOLE BOX, AND YOUR GIVING ME JUST A BOWL, WHEN I KNOW THAT THE WHOLE BOX IS ABOUT 3 TO 4 BUCKS. SO, I KNOW I'M FEELING RIPPED OFF. TANTAMOUNT TO ICECREAM BEING SERVED BY THE ICE CREAM BAR; YOU BUY A WHOLE BAR, TAKE A PIECE OFF AND THEN CHARGE ME FOR THE ENTIRE COST OF THE BAR! NO THANKS.
USE THE CEREAL CORPORATE LOGOS INSTEAD. SHOW PICTURES OF PEOPLE FROM THE 70'S SITTING IN FRONT OF THEIR T.V. WATCHING CARTOONS AND EATING CEREAL.
DOES EACH SERVING OF CEREAL COME WITH SOME SORT OF PRIZE INSIDE THE CONTAINER LIKE CEREAL USED TO COME?? IF NOT, DO SO! FIGURE IT OUT SO PEOPLE ARE SAFE, BUT GET THE TOY SURPRISE!
PROBLEMS:
MOST PEOPLE THESE DAYS AND EVEN FROM WHAT I REMEMBER, DON'T EAT THEIR CEREAL AT THE BREAKFAST TABLE OR IN THE KITCHEN. THEY MAKE A BIG BOWL, THEN DRAG IT OVER TO EAT IN FRONT OF THE T.V. - -WATCHING THEIR FAVORITE SATURDAY MORNING PROGRAM OR AFTERNOON CARTOON ADVENTURE, WHILE SITTING ON THE LIVING ROOM COUCH. PLUS, THERE NEEDS TO BE THE ADDITION OF A HUGE T.V. TO WATCH SO, REGARDLESS IF THERE'S PEOPLE THERE, WE DON'T GIVE A DAMM BECAUSE WE'RE WATCHING THE STRING OF NEW MOVIE TRAILERS. EVEN ADULTS WILL SIT STILL FOR 15 MINUTES IN A DARK THEATRE AND WATCH MOVIE TRAILERS.
IN YOUR CASE, GET A SUPER HUGE BIGSCREEN TELEVISION IN THERE, AND SHOW ALL THE NEW MOVIE TRAILERS. THAT GIVES ME JUST ENOUGH TIME TO EAT MY CEREAL, ENJOY THE TRAILER, THEN GET OUT SO THE NEXT GUY CAN BUY CEREAL AND PAY YOU THEIR MONEY.
NEXT THING:
I LOOKED AT THE LADY'S PLACE IN SANTA CRUZ, CA. WOW I SAID. I READ THE REVIEWS ON THE NET FIRST. I THOUGHT THEY WERE KIDDING. IT DOES NOT LOOK LIKE THE ACTUAL PLACE WHERE I WOULD SIT AND EAT A CEREAL PRODUCT. AGAIN, IT LOOKS LIKE A KITCHEN AND "NOT WHERE I EAT OR WILL EAT CEREAL..."
TAKE THAT WHOLE KITCHEN THEME, PUSH IT BACK TOWARDS THE BACK OF THE CAFE. TAKE THE OTHER 3/4THS OF THE CAFE AND TURN IT INTO THIS SUPER SUPER HUGE BIGSCREEN TELEVISION, SHOWING ALL THE NEW MOVIE TRAILERS THAT IN THIS DAY, WE WHO ARE NOW ADULTS LIKE! EVEN IF YOU HAVE TO PUT 6 HD T.V.'S TOGETHER TO GET THE ACTUAL EFFECT. I WILL PAY THE MONEY FOR THE CEAREAL IF YOU ENTERTAIN ME FOR 15-20 MINUTES IN THIS WAY.
SECOND,
THE EATING AREA HAS TO BE COMFORTABLE, INVITING, AND ENCOURAGES SITTING OR STANDING FOR 15-20 MINUTES. PERHAPS A SLEW OF THOSE VIBRATING MASSAGE TYPE RECLINER CHAIRS SEEN IN MANY MALLS AND EVEN CAR WASHES. IF YOU ADD SOME SORT OF MOVABLE TABLE SETUP ONTO IT SO I CAN PUT MY CEREAL BOWL. THEN, THAT WOULD WORK. WHY? BECAUSE EATING CEREAL IS USALLY A SINGLE PERSON EXPERIENCE, NOT SOME SORT OF CAFE EATING EXPERIENCE. BALLY'S GYM KINDA HAS THE IDEA DOWN. YOU DON'T SEE A BUNCH OF RUNNERS ALL USING A GROUP TREADMILL. EACH PERSON IS IN CONTROL OF THEIR OWN WALKING EXPERIENCE, BUT THEY ARE IN A LARGE EXCERCISE ROOM.
MORE PROBLEMS:
GET RID OF THE DAM CHINESE FOOD CONTAINERS. YES, I SAW THEM A FEW YEARS AGO. I KNOW WHY YOU GUYS PICKED THE DESIGN. IT WAS BECAUSE IT WAS A PORTABLE READY TO GO PAPER PRODUCT THAT ALLOWED CEREAL TO BE PACKAGED IN A USABLE / DISPOSABLE PRODUCT. FORGET IT! DIDN'T WORK. MAKES PEOPLE CONFUSED. YOU (THE CONSUMER) CONFUSE "CHINESE FOOD WITH CEREAL." YOU NEED TO USE A LARGE WHITE PAPER CEAREAL BOWL, EVEN IF YOU HAVE TO SPECIAL ORDER THEM OR HAVE THEM FABRICATED. THE SPOON NEEDS TO BE OVERSIZED, BLUE, PINK, RED, YELLOW, OR GREEN. ONE OF THE KIND YOU MIGHT SEE IN A DR. SUESS OR WILLIE WONKA MOVIE. SHOULD SAY, CEREALITY. SOMETHING THAT THEY CAN KEEP OR TAKE HOME WITH THEM FOR PASSIVE MARKETING. SOMETHING LIKE - CEREALITY, SANTA CRUZ, CA, LOL.! IT MIGHT EVEN BE BETTER TO USE CLEAR PLASTIC BOWLS AND SETUP THE FOOD IN SUCH A WAY THAT THE CEREAL SEEMS TO BE A GOURMET EXPERIENCE OF SORTS. I DON'T KNOW. NEED TO THINK ABOUT IT. THAT'S ALL FOR NOW. NEXT TIME I WILL NOT WRITE ALL OF THIS IN UPPERCASE. I HOPE THE READERS WILL UNDERSTAND.
8:40 pm
Maybe a choice of prize say, next bowl free, free smoothie with next purchase, 1/2 off coupon at register with this bowl, one free sample of any special cereal on next visit, etc. In this way, cereal eaters have a tangible reward and customers who walk in will automatically know why the person eating cereal is so eager to finish their bowl. The cereal becomes secondary to the entertainment and cereal bowl prizes, but in fact, the cereal is the actual product being produced. I saw this design work at a Microbrewery years ago.
The model was simple: the draw was supposed to be the watching of beer being made, but in fact, people spent their money on food, beer, appetizers, etc., as they came to the brewery to see the operation of a full service microbrewery, not to drink and eat, but that was just the come on feature. Another example was a coffeehouse. The draw was supposed to be the roasting of coffee, but the bulk of the money being made was through the drinking of coffee produced and food served in a cafe style setting, not the selling of the produced coffee. So, the product has to almost be somewhat incidental to the real reason the customer is there. IF you turn the eating area in to a entertainment hub for single persons and small families who want a low cost shot of entertainment, you'd probably have a winner because adults and kids love to watch TV. that they like, get prizes after finishing the box, and will pay 4 to 5 bucks any day of the week if you give them something they enjoy eating while they entertain themselves.
4:09 pm
Wow!! After reading these messages, I thought to myself, i am so glad to live in miami!! You people are so superficial!! Some idiot refuses to eat out of styrofoam! Who cares!! Give me a styrofoam bowl, knife, fork, spoon, napkin, etc. Someone else will not have regular milk, skim milk, or soy milk,... only almond milk. Yes, a they should have something that nobody else drinks, but you!! I would kick you in the face, if you were close to me. That place is, what it is, a fun place to have cereal how you want it, & when you want it!! So many damn haters!! Oh, did I hurt your feelings, too?? Tough nuggies!!
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