Last week, MomLogic.com contributor Allison Henry bravely detailed her battle with vaginal prolapse—or gradually experiencing her vagina falling out of her body. At the end of Henry’s tale—after a year of gushing blood, gangrene, and all the insides on the outside—Henry lets us in on her consolation prize. “The experience has been a total nightmare, but I’m happy to say I’m on the mend,” Henry wrote. “We just had a cocktail party to celebrate me feeling healthy. And I do have the vagina of a 13-year-old virgin, with a perfect labia, as a bonus.”

Henry’s prepubescent vaginal joy left some commenters . . . confused. (You didn’t think I was going to give up my newfound perfect vagina audience just yet, did you?)

Read More “Sexist Comments of the Week: Perfect Vaginas Edition” »

Allison Henry had a rough year. A lot of  bad shit went down, but long story short, her vagina fell out. Today, Ami Angelowicz at The Frisky detailed Henry’s story. “I am going to spare you the details because I am squeamish and feel too pukey to write about them,” explains Angelowicz. She does pass along this little tidbit about Henry’s lady-bits, however: “As a consolation prize for all of her suffering (and it was a lot of suffering), she now has the vagina of a 13-year-old with perfect-looking labia.”

Allow me to list all the horrific medical details of Henry’s vagina-falling-out that are far, far less puke-tastic than the phrase “the vagina of a 13-year-old with perfect-looking labia.” From Henry’s testimony on MomLogic.com (emphasis mine):

Read More “Woman’s Vagina Falls Out, Replaces It With “Perfect 13-Year-Old Vagina”” »

Has Juwanna Mann inspired a whole league of transphobic idiots?

Morning, everyone. So, you know how members of your community—your boss, a police officer, officials from South Africa’s track and field federation—will occasionally pull you aside and suggest, politely, that your entire existence up to this point has been a complete fraud, and everything you’ve ever done has been targeted at destroying the very moral fiber of society, and would you please show your genitals to everyone?

No? That’s never happened to you? Weird, because it seems like whenever a transgender or gender variant person tries to do their thing—go to work, run fast, or steal a really hot, expensive dress—they’re invariably labeled a “fraud” (okay, maybe the last one is a fraud, but not in the way you’d think!). Their gender identity is reduced to some hair-brained scheme to invade The Opposite Sex and oppress it by refusing to flash their possibly variant genitals, stealing all their gold medals, or . . . just confusing people a little bit. This has been happening A LOT lately:

Exhibit A: That star female runner isn’t just quick as a whip. She also might be a liar, a cheat, and a pervert . . . if complicated and ultimately bullshit gender testing reveals that she’s a man!

Exhibit B: That female employee isn’t just trying to get a paycheck. She’s also trying to sneak in the women’s locker room . . . to change, and stuff! And what if she has a penis? Hand over the photos!

Exhibit C: That “cross-dressing” shoplifting suspect isn’t just trying to steal a killer $2,400 Chanel dress. She’s also trying to dupe the cops by wearing dresses while she steals dresses to conceal her true identity . . . a man!

This whole trans panic trend is out of control, you guys. And I think it’s time for a Sexist Beatdown. Join the incomprable Sady of Tiger Beatdown as we talk Juwanna Mann, our own personal gender test, and why we’ve never been asked to include 8-by-10 glossies of our vaginas with a job application.

Read More “Sexist Beatdown: Transphobia And Vagina Headshots Edition” »

Today, anti-rape activists are hard at work in the schools, the clinics, the courts, and the media, in an attempt to help prevent rape. But over the years, some anti-rape inventors have proposed an alternative to education and awareness—why not work to prevent rape from inside the vagina? Here’s how it works—women just don’t use their vaginas, ever! Instead of penises, women are instructed to fill their cavities with razor blades, screws, hypodermic syringes, webbed nets, air bags, poisons, and sophisticated microcomputers. Below, a retrospective of the anti-rape device.

1976: “This invention relates to inserts for use within the vagina of a woman for the harming of a man who may insert a penis into the vagina of the woman. This invention represents improvements in such inserts and it provides more efficient means to lock on the penis and to lacerate the locked on penis.”

Read More “Anti-Rape Device or Vagina Spaceship?” »

Please, nobody ever buy me one of these.

1. Menace to Sorority, in which the sorority message-board-dwellers simply cannot quit me.

2. Trans Slammer, in which D.C.’s transgender inmates win some battles, lose others, and gain some very persistent commenters in the process.

3. The Great Mexican Cartoon Porn-Off, Part 3, in which I review Spanish-language cartoon porn culled from the beaches of Mexico.

4. The Great Mexican Cartoon Porn-Off, Part 1, in which Part 2 does not get nearly so much lovin’ as do the other parts.

5. Saws in Vaginas: Dangerous, in which a saw inside a dildo inside a vagina painfully breaks free of its rubber and flesh captors.

Autumn Stephens, author of Wild Words for Wild Women and other Smithsonian museum gift shop titles, has a new book! Fiesty First Ladies: And Other Unforgettable White House Women (advanced reading copy) is a whimsical, pocket-sized take on “those formidable females” who have accompanied their Man on the zany ride that is the American Presidency—complete with Photoshopped Rockette-style crotch display!

Oh, that’s just like Nancy, Jackie, Hillary, and Michelle* to show off their feisty, satin-clothed vaginas on the White House lawn. Only Laura Bush is spared. I’m already working on my Feisty First Dudes primer, a campy look at the men behind the nation’s feisty governors and Secretaries of State, illustrated by a photograph of Todd Palin and Bill Clinton wearing short shorts and grabbing their junk whilst lounging in front of the Washington Monument.

* last-minute draft pick