FINALLY, SOMEBODY MAKES SENSE: Levi Johnston, 19-year-old ex-fiancee of Bristol Palin, told Good Morning America that he's not yet mature enough to get married. "It’s just us not—me not—being mature enough,” he said. "We were in a fight. And trying to see if we can make things work. But this is what it kind of ended up turning into. But we’ll see what happens."

Johnston said he and Bristol broke up "about two months" after the birth of their son, Tripp. The two are open to reconciliation—when they're more mature.

COMMENCE THE SHAMING PROCESS! "Excuse me?" writes Kevin D. of Dean's World. "You’re mature enough to have sex with her, father a child by her, but you’re not mature enough to marry her? . . . And this is why abstinence only education is the only sex education that makes sense."

Hmm, okay, not the conclusion to which I would immediately jump. Let's find out where Bristol and Levi really fall on the maturity scale, shall we?

[ x ] MATURE ENOUGH to have sex
[   ] MATURE ENOUGH to be allowed to decide how to handle the results of that sex
[ x ] MATURE ENOUGH to be allowed to decide whether or not to get married (finally).

Looks like they're improving!

BRISTOL JUUUUUST GREAT: "Bristol is doing great, just great!," Palin told reporters over the weekend.

BRISTOL PALIN SPRING SPORTS CORNER: Bristol missed out on the Girl Scout cookie sales because she was out performing other adolescent activities repackaged as "state business." "Oh, Bristol is over at the state capitol building golfing in a miniature golf tournament," Palin told People. "It's a fundraiser and she's up there taking my place while I'm here." Also—oh, my God—some poor People reporter has probably been stationed in Alaska, following the Palins, since the Republican National Convention. Our hearts go out to your loved ones.

BRISTOL "UNCOOL": HuffPo's Bonnie Fuller thinks that "the Palin women take public trashing to a whole new and totally uncool level." Fuller gets most of her insight on this topic from an interview Johnston's sister, Mercede, gave to Star magazine, so she's working from pretty solid academic ground here. The story alleged that Bristol refused to allow Johnston to see their baby and that she called his family "white trash."

Writes Fuller: "Now, the reason I don't doubt Mercede's version of the story—Bristol trashing her ex and his family—is because of the very public trashing and more, that her mom has been tied to, which also involves an ex-in-law: Sarah's brother-in-law."

Let's put aside for a moment the fact that all the Star interview proves is that Johnston's sister publicly outed her brother's personal problems while smearing his ex-fiancee's character. Both Bristol and Johnston have since said the report was riddled with errors.

Still, Fuller uses the evidence to prove that Bristol is a Troopergate-level bitch, just like her mother: "You better not mess with those Palin women when romance goes awry," writes Fuller. "Slicing and dicing exes appears to be in the family genes."

Photo by aburt

* Photos of Bristol Palin and Levi Johnston's son, Tripp, have netted the underage couple $300,000 from People magazine. Is that enough to get the fuck out of Wasilla and never look back? Or just enough to fund a forced white wedding?

* Dude blogger Roissy in D.C. knows how to identify a slut! She is sarcastic, wears no underwear, and has "that crazy, hyper, coked-up look in her eyes." Roissy knows this because he has had sex with many, many sluts, which raises the question—does Roissy wear underwear?

* Zack at The New Gay writes on the type of gay men straight men are comfortable befriending:

Recently, a straight guy told my boyfriend how much he loved him for not letting his gayness define him as a person. In short, he was really excited that my boyfriend was gay, but not "gay like that."

* Note to cops: Don't threaten feminist bloggers; they'll put it on YouTube and make fun of you for only having one friend on MySpace (Tom).

* Tiger Beatdown calls out the New York Times Book Review for its glowing Phyllis McGinley review:

Ginia Bellafante, apparently not into this whole "history and also actual well-documented fact" thing, seems to recall the 1950s differently: as a blissful Eden, from which women were expelled when they ate from the Tree of Wanting an Actual Freaking Choice.

Photo via trialsanderrors.