Just as the aging foreign leader circulates a grainy self-videotape to stave off rumors of his own death, so John McCain appeared on this week’s Saturday Night Live in an attempt to prove that his campaign was still alive. McCain ribbed himself alongside pseudo running-mate Tina Fey in a show-opening mock infomercial and on fake news sketch Weekend Update. McCain always does fine with comedy (he’s always been a pretty good Daily Show guest). Whether or not it will help him tomorrow remains to be seen.

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It’s been quite a weekend for ridiculous stunts by the lovely ladies of the Republican party. Let’s count ‘em down, shall we?

THREE! Sarah Palin appeared on Saturday Night Live last week to get back at Tina Fey for being so mean all the time. Palin proved she really knows how to act presidential use that Northern Idaho journalism degree. Let’s go straight to the video (includes Mean Girls-style bitchy stare-off between Palin and Fey)!

TWO! Yesterday, the McCain/Palin camp announced the endorsement of Telemundo actress Katie Barberi, a Mexican-American. The announcement came on the same day some other minority came out in favor of the Obama campaign. “As a Hispanic-American, I understand how important this election is for Hispanics,” said Barberi. A little birdie told me Barberi’s endorsin’ qualifications include an uncredited role as an economics student in a little something called Ferris Bueller’s Day Off.

ONE! Michele Bachmann, a Republican Congresswoman from Minnesota, has the ghost of Joe McCarthy in her, and boy is Congress’s face red! In an appearance on Hardball with Chris Matthews, Bahmann—whom I did not even know existed, much less existed solely to warn the American people against the creeping spectre of communism—made her stunning debut on the national stage. Bahmann accused Barack Obama—who is currently running for president of the United States of America—of being “anti-American.”

“If we look at the collection of friends that Barack Obama has had in his life,” Huffington Post reports Bahmann as saying, “it calls into question what Barack Obama’s true beliefs and values and thoughts are. His attitudes, values, and beliefs with Jeremiah Wright on his view of the United States…is negative; Bill Ayers, his negative view of the United States. We have seen one friend after another call into question his judgment — but also, what it is that Barack Obama really believes?” Following her indictment of Obama, Bachmann called for an investigation into the American values of all members of Congress. “I wish the American media would take a great look at the views of the people in Congress and find out if they are pro-America or anti-America,” she said. Believe us, Michelle—we’re listening!

AND THE BUZZER! Totally non-Republican (educated guess) lovely lady Amy Poehler matches your Palin and raises you a Fey with her Alaskan rap bit (SNL rap bits: Making me laugh since 2007):

* The Washington Post Magazine yesterday detailed the storied law office romance of Michelle and Barack Obama. Even with my hard, unfeeling heart, I managed to read this . . . almost all the way though. Here’s the engagement story:

[Michelle] began to pressure Barack to get married . . . Barack put her off, arguing that marriage was a meaningless institution and that the only thing that mattered was how they felt about each other. Michelle, whose parents had been married for some 30 years, wasn’t buying it.

Then, one night in 1991, he took her to Gordon, an expensive Chicago restaurant, and she started to press him again. He went into his usual tirade against marriage, a dissertation that went on until they ordered dessert. When it came, the plate had a box on it, and in the box was an engagement ring.

“‘That kind of shuts you up, doesn’t it?’” Michelle remembers Barack telling her.

Plus this strange tidbit about Michelle’s early legal work:

The group went out of its way to give Michelle work suited to her interests. When an opportunity came in to handle the budding public television career of Barney, the purple dinosaur poised to become a phenomenon among American children, Goldstein says he and others felt it had Michelle’s name written all over it.

* Sarah Palin reserved her very own place in Hell on Saturday. At a California rally, Palin (poorly) recited a quote from Madeline Albright in an attempt to re-affirm the “feminist” angle of her campaign. The speech began with an endorsement from L.A. National Organization for Women president Shelly Mandel, which I can only imagine is the way Andy Kaufman has chosen to tell us all that he’s still alive. But don’t worry, Palin didn’t get the quote from her extensive research of Clinton-era foreign policy; she got it from Starbucks:

I’m reading on my Starbucks mocha cup, okay? The quote of the day… It was Madeleine Albright, former Secretary of State [crowd boos] and UN ambassador. Now she said it, I didn’t. She said, ‘There’s a place in Hell reserved for women who don’t support other women.’ [Crowd approval] . . . OK, now thank you so much for receiving that well—I didn’t know how that was going to go over . . . And now California, let’s see what a comment that I just made how that is turned into whatever it’ll be turned into tomorrow in the newspaper.

I’m not sure that newspapers can really be blamed for twisting Albright’s Starbucks’ Palin’s words, which barely make sense on the level of the sentence. More confusing than the actual speech, though, is that the crowd first boos Albright, then cheers her words when filtered through the finely calibrated Starbucks-Palin machine.

* Last summer, the New York Observer found New York City’s hottest transsexual woman, super fox Jamie Clayton. Now, Logo’s got the first Clayton video interview: [via Gawker]. Clayton talks about “blending in” and New York guys’ pick-up lines.

* Tina Fey is Palin; Queen Latifah is Gwen Ifill:

Plus, why some are amused, confused, by Fey’s success at Palin’s faults: “Wow, she really looks like Tina Fey. Tina Fey has been doing a great job parodying her. Boy, I love Tina Fey. Ack, but I don’t love Sarah Palin. Nononononononono! Bad mental association. Bad.” [via Feministe].

Photo by DanieVDM

* Local transgender America’s Next Top Model contestant Isis King tells the NY Post about her future goals: “[Gender reassignment surgery] is still something I need to do. Financially I haven’t saved up more money since the show. And because I haven’t been working, I’ve been living off my savings. But hopefully the jobs will come soon because that will make it easier to save and finally have my surgery. It’s still at the top of my goals, the very top.”

* Yesterday’s Washington Post date lab, attached Michaeleen plays games with single Steve. “I never did the whole date-lots-of-people thing when I was younger. The man I am seeing is out of town, so he doesn’t know about Date Lab,” says Michaeleen. “I am going to tell [him]. I do believe in being honest and up front.” Two weeks later, Michaeleen’s boyfriend was still in the dark about Michaeleen’s WaPo-funded dinner date. Until now!

* Once but a blog, now a full-fledged ‘zine: The second issue of local fashion/lifestyle magazine panda head is available today.

* Brightest Young Things on last week’s All-City Air Guitar Competition at Wonderland: Fenders replaced with cut-off shorts, DIO shirts, and tighty-whities.

* Scarlett Johansson and Ryan Reynolds make it official in a Canadian wedding.

* Tina Fey reprises her role as Sarah Palin on “Saturday Night Live”; Amy Poehler takes on Katie Couric:

Maggie Van Ostrand over at Huffington Post is not amused by Sarah Palin’s response to Tina Fey’s impression of her on SNL. (Whew). Writes MVO:

If you’re wondering what Sarah Palin thought about Tina Fey’s spot-on impression of her on last night’s season premiere of Saturday Night Live, Palin’s only comment was that she had once dressed up as Tina Fey for Halloween. Seems she’s not nearly so charming without a script written by Fact Forger. Of all the remarks she might have made, the one she did make seems the most alienating.

Does anyone else find this unnecessarily curmudgeonly of Maggie Van Ostrand? Is there some sort of protocol for how a public figure must publicly respond to their inevitable SNL alter-ego? I thought Palin’s response was both clever and gracious, but Van Ostrand uses the comment to “reveal” the dull and grotesque reality of the VP candidate. “There is no real Sarah Palin,” writes Van Ostrand, “there’s only Tina Fey.”

Even if Van Ostrand objects to the comment, she must admit that it offers up an instantly classic Halloween costume for Fey: Tina Fey as Sarah Palin as Tina Fey. You’re welcome!