Hush. Grandma loves her “cute” elderly home, which is not overcome with the unspeakable stench of death.

* Spend Valentine’s Day at “several cute DC, Arlington elderly homes!” helping the D.C. Young Republicans administer manicures to the elderly in their “Mani’s for the Grannies” initiative. Sexist says, the grannies may be cute, the mani’s may be cute, but the elderly homes? Don’t kid yourselves.

Read More “The Morning After: Ex-Masturbator Edition” »

* Live in Bloomingdale? (I do!): Join the gentrification society!

* Go on, guess what “objectum-sexuals” love:

a. fruit salad
b. the Eiffel Tower
c. “the narrowness of his jibs”
d. all of the above

Extra-credit question: Why are all objectum-sexuals women?

* Jane Fonda’s blog: actually good?

* The New Gay gives us our morning medicine: “a thirteen-year-old Ricky Martin wearing his butchest pink shirt and imitating a heterosexual!”

“Eiffel Tower Upskirt” photo by palindrome6996

* PETA makes overly sexual, vegan Superbowl ad (above). NBC rejects it, counts the ways:

- licking pumpkin
- touching her breast with her hand while eating broccoli
- pumpkin from behind between legs
- rubbing pelvic region with pumpkin
- screwing herself with broccoli (fuzzy)
- asparagus on her lap appearing as if it is ready to be inserted into vagina
- licking eggplant
- rubbing asparagus on breast

* The New Gay seeks contributors.

* Roissy in D.C. finds the District’s youngest cat lady. Quoth the cat lady, “My cats have never taken me on a date to the 7/11. My cats have never pretended to be the love of my life, then disappeared into thin air without even the courtesy of a post-it note explanation. My cats have never lied about being Navy SEALs. Not once.” Replies Roissy, “She sounds like one of my exes. Always bitching. Her standards are way too high. What’s wrong with 7-11?”

* Feministing outlines the trouble with panic over teen sex—it’s only reserved for the girls, and not the boys.

* The new Hillary Clinton, New York Senator-to-be Kirsten Gillibrand, already has jealous Congressional wolves circling her freshly appointed carcass in the hopes of gaining the seat that is not yet officially hers, in 2010 [via Newsday].

* The New gay tells President Obama what to do. TNG was also nice enough to profile the Sexist in last week’s featured blog spot. Thanks!

* Slate reviews Daniel Bergner’s The Other Side of Desire:

He selects four areas: foot fetishism, sadomasochism, pedophilia, and an obsession for amputees. In each case, he finds and follows a devotee. In the process, Bergner does what science cannot: He illuminates peculiar longings. His method is at first descriptive and finally poetic. The message of the book is in the interplay among personal narratives that prove alternately bizarre and mundane.

* The New York Times Magazine piece suggests that a “generation of postfeminist sexologists” are beginning to unlock the mysterious sexual desires of women. But who will unlock the mystery of what a “postfeminist sexologist” is?

Photo by trialsanderrors.

* Evil Slutopia dreams of Joe Biden:

I had a Joe Biden dream the other night. I was at some event where he was speaking, and I snuck backstage so I could talk to him. (Apparently there are no Secret Service agents in dreams, which made it really easy.) I told him all about the Joe Biden Feminism Watch, and he laughed and was all “no, really?”, and I was all “yes, really!”, and he thought it was awesome and gave me a hug. I also gave him an ESC business card, and then had to explain what our name means and that we weren’t posting about his feminist achievements in between porn and/or erotica posts. (Not that there would be anything wrong with that, but it would have required a longer explanation probably.) So he took the card and he was happy and thought it was all cool, and then he went off to give his speech and I woke up with a massive hangover.

* The New Gay is looking for submissions and editors.

* Reproductive Health Reality Check writes on how euthanasia registers as a reproductive rights victory.

* Dr. Shirin Ebadi, an Iranian activist and Nobel Laureate, faces increased threats to her person and home. Most recently, an angry mob “chanting death threats”:

Ebadi told the Campaing for Equality that “there are a lot of writers on this street, but I am the only writer who is also a traitor! I called the police immediately after the mob arrived. Two police officers arrived on the scene. They stood and watched, as those chanting slogans spray painted my home and attacked the building. They stood and watched, until it was over. The mob left and then the police also left.” [via Feminist Majority Foundation].

* Via Feministing: Now, get rehabilitation for your Internet addiction—they’re doing it for kids in China! Actually, don’t, because your Internet addiction may very well be the only thing keeping my newspaper afloat.

Photo via trialsanderrors.

* The New Gay writes in defense of public displays of affection, despite the consequences:

Yesterday after brunch, my boyfriend and I decided to nap off a hangover in Kalorama Park. So on a perfect afternoon I was lying with my head on my boyfriends stomach while his hand rested on mine. And thats when the trio of 13 year-olds starting calling us “gaylord fuckers” from all the way across the park.

* Reproductive Reality Check attempts the impossible: Advising “adolescents to make wise sexual choices.”

* Erin Niumata for Ladyblog doesn’t think the premise of upcoming Kate Hudson/Ann Hathaway BFF wedding-off comedy Bride Wars looks very funny. “The movie is ostensibly a comedy. But is watching two intelligent, grown women being verbally abusive and playing nasty tricks on one another actually funny? No. It’s tragic. . . . True friendship, like marriage, means supporting one another, overcoming petty jealousies and being there through sickness and health.” I don’t think the movie looks funny, either, but I’m not sure a film about two “true friends” “supporting one another” would be a laugh riot, either.

* Feminist book corner: Feministe reviews So Many Ways to Sleep Badly by Mattilda Bernstein Sycamore.

* XX Factor’s Melinda Henneberger goes to the mall:

I wound up spending my Friday night at the Montgomery Mall. And seeing for myself what deep trouble we are in: No one was there, shoppers or salespeople, to the point that I began to have horror-flick fantasies. (Oh no, it’s the Rapture and we’ve been left behind at the Montgomery Mall? How humiliating.) Because no one can afford new inventory, it was also like a visit to the Island of Misfit Toys (and Sweaters).

Photo via trialsanderrors.

* Photos of Bristol Palin and Levi Johnston’s son, Tripp, have netted the underage couple $300,000 from People magazine. Is that enough to get the fuck out of Wasilla and never look back? Or just enough to fund a forced white wedding?

* Dude blogger Roissy in D.C. knows how to identify a slut! She is sarcastic, wears no underwear, and has “that crazy, hyper, coked-up look in her eyes.” Roissy knows this because he has had sex with many, many sluts, which raises the question—does Roissy wear underwear?

* Zack at The New Gay writes on the type of gay men straight men are comfortable befriending:

Recently, a straight guy told my boyfriend how much he loved him for not letting his gayness define him as a person. In short, he was really excited that my boyfriend was gay, but not “gay like that.”

* Note to cops: Don’t threaten feminist bloggers; they’ll put it on YouTube and make fun of you for only having one friend on MySpace (Tom).

* Tiger Beatdown calls out the New York Times Book Review for its glowing Phyllis McGinley review:

Ginia Bellafante, apparently not into this whole “history and also actual well-documented fact” thing, seems to recall the 1950s differently: as a blissful Eden, from which women were expelled when they ate from the Tree of Wanting an Actual Freaking Choice.

Photo via trialsanderrors.

And we’re back!

* Larry Craig’s Minneapolis-St. Paul International airport bathroom stall isn’t getting any more traffic from camera-toting tourists—or from anonymous sex-seekers.

* Tiger Beatdown has found your new female role model: In defense of Veronica Mars.

* The New Gay talks courtship tactics—are you a cheetah or a gazelle? In the straight scene, Michael writes, men are generally cheetahs, women gazelles. In the gay scene, it’s a little different:

My boyfriend, he’s a cheetah. He’s always been the pursuer. So much so that he never realized that gazelles existed. He assumed that guys just went out there pursuing one another until two of them pursued one’s dick into the other’s ass. Metaphorically speaking, of course.

* The L.A. Times has a nice obit on a woman you’ve never heard of: Martha S. Putney, historian, feminist, and one of 40 black women chosen to serve in the Women’s Army Corps in World War II, died earlier this month in Washington, D.C. She was 92.

* Slate’s Melinda Henneberger says sorry, Carolyn: are the Kennedy’s a dynasty without an heir?

Photo via trialsanderrors.

* The New Gay reveals an “an exciting new way to internalize homophobia“: It’s not gay, it’s g0y! G0ys (pictured) hate anal sex, femininity, and gay dudes, but love God and casually bro-ing out with other dudes and blowing them. And they spell their sexuality with a zero. Sign up here!

* Slate tapes an interview with a MILF.

* Fashion Fuel D.C. wonders if men will save us from recession, because “while women tend to shop out of frivolity, men tend to shop out of necessity.” But women shop for others, too.

* Bay Windows rates the LGBT friendliness of Obama appointments.

* From Feministing: New Zealand dude thinks abortions lead men to beat women, because their “maleness is under threat.” Kind of sweet and old-fashioned, no?

Photo from g0ys.org

The New Gay is throwing a “Ban Marriage Party” happy hour tonight at Solly’s Tavern, 1942 11th St. NW. “If we can’t have full marriage rights, why should anybody?” asks TNG, which calls this its “first attempt to end the scourge that is marriage.”

I’m not sure if that whole “scourge” thing is tongue-in-cheek or not, but I, for one, am truly against marriage and for taverns. So while this is only The New Gay’s first attempt at ending marriage through social drinking, I sincerely hope it is not their last.