For those of you who would rather do away with this whole marriage business instead of incorporating new groups into the institution, Canadian group Hidden Cameras have got your anthem: “Ban Marriage.” Recently, eight of them squeezed into the Rock and Roll Hotel to perform the song for The New Gay. The traditional-marriage-averse lyrics include references to fingering, “fag hags,” and drunk ministers. What, no shout-out to the patriarchy? Full lyrics are after the jump.

I was late getting to church on the morning of my ceremony

Ban marriage
Ban marriage
Ban marriage
Ban marriage
Ban marriage
Ban it all

Last night, The New Gay editor Zack Rosen set out to determine once and for all whether all those heteros who flock to the Dupont High Heel Race every year are there to support the gay community, or just mock all the queens in dresses. This year, the pre-Halloween drag queen race was pushed into the political arena by a little administrative switch: Instead of a parade permit, the race secured a First Amendment permit, shifting the balance a bit from party to protest. So, are people who love watching gay guys stumble around in stripper heels as enthusiastic about supporting marriage equality? According to Rosen’s findings: Kinda.

Whenever a man deviates from this reproductive gender role, he’s labeled as kind of a pussy. When a woman deviates from the role, she doesn’t get off so easy—she’s a bad, immoral, evil slut. It’s funny: even those who believe that men and women were “created” this way though the process of evolution—and not via some God who wove his moral authority into our very genitals—will still argue that deviating from gender norms results in great moral depravity.

Except for gay guys! When gay men are sexually promiscuous—you know, like men are evolutionarily wired to be—they are bad, immoral, evil sluts, too. Welcome to the club, guys (there are no free towels). It’s funny: even those who believe that there’s nothing wrong with being gay still argue that gay sex results in the great moral depravity usually reserved only for female sluts. Why? Because there are no women around to virtuously refuse to have sex with them.

Yesterday, The New Gay editor Zack made the gay man’s double-standard clear. Zack has been seeing his boyfriend for two years. And one time, Zack peed on someone’s face in a kiddie pool (consensually). Sure, it’s not the most effective way of spreading one’s seed, but whatever—he’s a dude, and it’s only natural for him to want to do some freaky stuff with his penis, right? Wrong. Zack peed on a man’s face, which is a no good very bad slutty thing to do. And it’s not because men loving men is bad—it’s because men fucking men is bad. And it all comes back to us ladies. Zack writes:

Though gay men’s lives are not purely defined by sex — I don’t need to tell you that the richness of the modern queer experience goes beyond an eternal search for dick in ass — I think we do ourselves a disservice by forgetting that we have been designated like we are because of sex. Not love, not companionship, not dating, but sex. Gay marriage is verboten because it leads to gay sex. Parent freak out about gay teachers because they think we’ll teach their children about abhorrent sex. Gay adoption, gay blood donors, all “controversial” aspects of us as a people can be traced back to a popular disdain for how we get off.

However, the way to address this is not to cut sex out of our lives entirely. Some people seem to think that we can whitewash ourselves to equality. Show no affection, no desire, no indication that you have anything between your legs but a smooth strip of plastic and we’ll be able to do what everyone else does. This is true in a sense, but if we win our acceptance as a sexless people we’ll be forever robbed of sex. It’s common sense. Not everyone wants to be joined in holy matrimony or to fight in the military, but everyone wants to have sex. And if the way we have sex is fundamentally accepted, then all of our other rights would fall into line. I’m sure of this.

The parallels between gay rights and women’s rights here are obvious. There’s a reason that feminism is so centered around reproductive rights (it’s the sex). Birth control allows women to have sex the way we want, for the reasons we want to, and without the responsibility of bearing all the moral consequences that come with having sex (chiefly, babies). And yet, even when sex is very explicitly undertaken for pleasure instead of reproduction, women are still called upon to bring some morality to the situation. A woman who takes her birth control pill every day is still a slut. A woman who uses a condom is still a slut. A man who pees on another man’s face, where insemination is impossible—as is transmission of HIV, which often acts as a moral-responsibility stand-in for pregnancy—is still a slut.

In response to Zack’s coming out as a slut, commenter B.B. wrote:

I am so exhausted from hearing excuse after excuse about why having sex with anyone and everyone anywhere and everywhere is “okay.” No, it is not okay. Let’s also not fool ourselves into believing that straight men are just as slutty as gay men. Women are still socialized to rebuff men’s attempts to have sex with them. I do not doubt that many straight men would have sex as often as possible if they could, but there is still a certain degree of dignity in the straight dating arena.

Ah, dignity. Where does this dignity come from? Why, it comes from us, the women, who must be forever chaste in order to save all of mankind from sluttiness. But once you take women out of the equation, sexual relationships become a lot less dignified—in fact, they become something approaching equal!

Behind the slut-shaming of gay men and the slut-shaming of straight women is the same irrational fear: the fear of equality in sexual relationships. And it sucks for everybody. In accordance with gender roles, men are considered morally inferior to women. Women are considered morally responsible for men. Men who have sex with men will never have their immoral natures redeemed by women. Women who have sex with women are wasting their feminine virtue.

I’m with Zack on this one—it all comes down to equality in the bedroom. When women are allowed to want sex like men, we will all be made responsible for our own personal relationships—and not the collective morality of our entire society. And when everything is equal between men and women, gay men and women will no longer be considered morally inferior to all heterosexuals. And consensual kiddie pool face-pissing will be available for all, if that’s what they’re into.

The New Gay doesn’t usually like hanging out at Town Danceboutique. Unless they’re running it.

“Don’t like the ‘usual’ at Town?” TNG writes. “Neither do we.”

Tonight, TNG is throwing a dance party at the 2009 8th St. NE warehouse with a party called “Seizure.” The night will be different from most dance events at Town, most of which appear to be “shirtless dude” themed (check the gallery). TNG promises that the party will be open to all genders and shirt-wearers.

“We will be filling the downstairs dance floor of Town with hard-edged rock, dance punk and retro, and all the boys, girls and transfolk who never before found Town to be their kind of space,” TNG says. “Town is just a building. Let’s SEIZE it for a night.”

Details:

Saturday, May 30, 11 PM—4 AM
$12 . 21+

Town Danceboutique, 2009 8th St NW (downstairs)
Doors 9 PM.  No entry after 2:30 AM, Club open until 4 AM

Featuring:
Performance by The DC Kings, 11 PM
DJ K La Rock, co-founder First Ladies DJ Collective, 11:15 PM

Mike B. asks the question everybody was thinking when we saw that exchange:

The New Gay: Doug McKelway was noticeably riled up about this whole issue throughout the entire interview. So the natural question (which I promised TNG music maven Rocky I would ask you) is: So how gay is Doug McKelway?

Mike Rogers: I don’t know if Doug McKelway is gay, bisexual or straight. I do know that Doug has incredibly personal feelings about this issue. And the way he expresses those feelings is more passionate than anyone I’ve ever met. I even tried to be nice afterwards but he gave me the equivalent of a “fuck you.”

Tomorrow, Zack and Michael, The New Gay co-founders and condom-advocate extraordinaires, host another Homo/Sonic dance party at the Black Cat. Zack and Michael are doing their part to make sure the local gay nightlife scene successfully evolves past shirtless “oonts-oonts-oonts” club nights and into the realm of good music. Zack and Michael have managed to book a queer dance night on a Saturday night at the Black Cat’s Mainstage—actually, it’s kind of a big deal. So do your part, too: Submit song requests to Zack at zack@thenewgay.net.

Homo/Sonic is an all-ages dance party held Saturday, April 4 at the Black Cat Mainstage, 1811 14th St. NW. Doors open at 9:30 p.m. $10 cover.

Zack Rosen over at The New Gay wrote an excellent column the other day about the importance of condom use within the gay community. The post covers a lot of ground—personal responsibility, modes of transmission, casual anal bleeding:

A couple years ago when one of the cutest boys I’d ever seen begged me to fuck him without a condom. Actually, beg is the wrong word. He pleaded. He whined. He implored me not to use one as if it was simply some seasoning our our sexual entree that he found disagreeable.

Condoms, however, are not cilantro and I refused to eat without one. And the next morning I found his blood on my sheets, meaning that if he had listened to me, and I was HIV+, he would’ve been too. What a dumbass.

Zack answers a lot of questions about cultural attitudes toward condoms in same-sex relationships, but he also posed a question for me: Do straight people feel the same urgency to use protection?

I am but one woman, and I do not speak for The Straights. But D.C.’s newest AIDS numbers included two statistics that may have something do do with each other: The leading mode of transmission for new HIV cases is heterosexual sex, and 7 out of 10 D.C. citizens reported to not use condoms.

One reason I think condom concern may be lower among heterosexuals is that the HIV threat hasn’t been pounded into our brains for decades, like it has in the gay community. Also, “protection” means something different than STD prevention for us—it also means preventing babies. In a lot of heterosexual relationships, sex partners are often so worried about pregnancy that the fear of conception overshadows concern over STDs.

I have to think that the real question, in the straight world, must be this: Are condoms as important to men as they are to women? In both cases—pregnancy and STD prevention—the responsibility to use protection often falls on her. She has to go to the doctor regularly and get her birth control prescription and make sure she takes it correctly every day. Often, she also has to make sure the man is wearing a condom. If she doesn’t, she’s more at risk than he is: In a female-to-male HIV contact scenario, women are more likely to contract the virus than men are, because of the way our bodies are made. This is true all the time—it doesn’t depend on whether or not anybody is bleeding or whether the sex is anal.

So, that leads me to my question for Zack: Are condoms as important to guys on top as they are to guys on bottom?

Photo by victoriapeckham.

Rosen, who came to Washington in 2006 and worked at the Washington Blade, a weekly LGBT newspaper, said his editors weren’t always game for his story pitches about indie music or gay cartoon characters — stories he said would appeal to his age group. He checked out J.R.’s. and Cobalt, well known D.C. gay clubs, but felt the atmosphere centered on hooking up. So he started TheNewGay.net, where he and others write about music, television and politics, and promote parties including Homo/Sonic at the Black Cat, a gay-friendly straight bar on 14th Street NW.

Their quest to alter Washington’s gay landscape also reveals the tensions between Millennials and Generation Y-ers in their 20s, and Generation X-ers in their mid- to upper 30s and 40s. Some establishment Washingtonians view Rosen’s efforts as cliche, a cycle that every so often churns out a batch of strivers who feel entitled to a brand.

“I think every young person thinks they’re the new gay,” said Kevin Naff, 38, editor of the Blade, where Rosen worked until he was laid off last year. “When I was that age, I thought I listened to all the cool music and knew all the cool places to go—that’s what your 20s are for. I think every new generation wants to have their own music, their own language.”

Oooooh, them’s fightin’ words! Is it just me, or does the mainstream media sound a little bit scared that these youngin’s might just be the successors to the gay media throne?

When Phase 1 opened up in Capitol Hill in 1970, it chose an unlikely spot for the District’s first lesbian bar: a windowless joint half a block from the historic Marine Corps barracks at 8th and I Streets SE. Now the “nation’s oldest lesbian bar,” Phase 1’s longevity in Marine territory may be attributed to its peculiar door policy: No unaccompanied men are allowed to enter the bar without a female escort.

Bar management is tight-lipped on the unwritten rule, not returning the Sexist’s requests for comment. Perhaps that’s because the policy isn’t exactly consistent with the D.C. Human Rights Act’s prohibition of sex discrimination in public accommodations.

Leave it to a patron to out the policy. Last year, Meaghan O’Malley wrote in a blog post on local Web site the New Gay: “The policy is not ‘no men allowed’ or ‘men pay more’ or ‘men will be heckled relentlessly if they dare to come in,’” O’Malley wrote. “The policy is, ‘if you look like an asshole, or a Marine from down the street, or insist that it is your God-given right to come into a lesbian bar, or screech about how it’s discrimination,’ you probably won’t get in.”

George Phelps had been stationed at 8th and I for three weeks in 1995 when he finally received a night off. He and a friend decided to celebrate with a beer, so they walked across the street to the nearest bar: Phase 1. When they reached the door, a bouncer informed Phelps that the bar was ladies-only—and that the Marine buddies were not welcome. Phelps, who underwent an extensive background check in order to obtain a security clearance that allowed him to “carry a firearm on the White House lawn,” found it ironic that he and his fellow Marines wouldn’t be trusted to behave themselves in a gay bar. “Honestly, I just really needed a drink,” says Phelps. “I’m open-minded. They’re not going to recruit me, and I’m not going to try to hit on a woman who’s gay. A beer’s a beer.”

Why is Phase 1 operating in fear of a full-on Marine assault? History, maybe: A once-hostile relationship between patrons and Marines has grown increasingly benign over the bar’s 38 years on the block. In 1980, bar owner Pat Sullivan told the Washington Post that a Marine from the barracks “thew a tear-gas bomb” into the bar. In 1989, the paper reported on Phase 1’s installation of a “wooden barrier” to protect against airborne “bottles and rocks.” In 2006, Phase 1 manager Sarah Brasher told Washington City Paper, “We don’t have any violence at all.”

Now, Phase 1 can post videos of girl-on-girl Jello wrestling on its Web site without incident. Despite bunking within stumbling distance to a bar full of lesbians, men at 8th and I attest that they’ve largely kept to harassing more traditional Marine targets: straight women and gay men.

“I need to talk to you like a guy,” explains Thom Niland, who was also stationed at the 8th and I barracks in the mid-’90s. “On 8th Street in Southeast? The only thing on my radar—and I can say the same for just about every other Marine there—was trying to hook up with girls and get laid,” he says. “I had no idea this place existed, and I can probably say that 95 percent of the Marines there don’t know about it. Frankly, why would we go there?”

The obvious answer—that Marines like to fuck with everybody—hasn’t inspired enough 8th and I residents to cause a regular ruckus. Bryan Dallas, who was stationed at the barracks from 1990-94, can only “vaguely recall a lesbian bar” near the barracks—and he says that friction between lesbians and Marines was largely relegated to the world of fantasy. “As young, goofy fools, you’d always hope you’d see some girls making out on the street. That’s about it,” he says. “There might have been some goofballs thinking they were so macho that they could pick up a lesbian or something, but no one I knew in my four years there.”

The barracks’ other gay neighbor, cowboy-themed bar Remington’s, hasn’t hurt for Marine attention. Dallas recalls the bar vividly: “It was a gentlemen’s club—gentlemen only, if you know what I mean,” says Dallas. “It had a dark window out front. I remember a cowboy hat. Guys would be in the chaps. Buck rider. Cowboys,” he says. After an incident with the bar—Dallas heard that a fellow Marine launched a trash can through that window—Dallas endured a barracks-wide lecture informing Marines not to be seen near the bar. Similar prohibitions have been repeated to barracks residents since the 1980 opening of the bar, then known as Equus, when a mob of Marines rushed the building and assaulted patrons and staff. Steve Sweigart, who lived in the barracks at the time of Equus’ debut, explains that Marine harassment of gays generally swings one way: “I’d say the big difference between Equus and any lesbian bar would be that the one has male patrons and the other female,” he says.

Now, the Marines at 8th and I are kept out of Phase 1 by a higher authority than the bar’s managers: Commanding officers issue standing orders against patronizing certain local bars. One recent veteran of the barracks recalls being explicitly told not to enter several local establishments: Georgetown’s Rhino Bar and Capitol Hill bars the Hawk ‘N Dove, Remington’s, and Phase 1. (An 8th and I rep says there are no “standing orders,” but that commanding officers “orient and advise” Marines.)

For a time, the Hawk ‘N Dove enforced its own “unaccompanied Marine” policy, requiring them to arrive either in uniform or with a date. Though Hawk ‘N Dove didn’t have the same “lesbian safety” rationale for its Marine exclusion, it did have one good reason to try to keep Marines out—it’s a bar that Marines actually want to go to. The policy wilted last year after a highly publicized boycott by friends and family of servicemen. Remington’s owner Steven Smith, who bought the bar in 1985, says he also retains no anti-Marine door policies. “We’ve had our instances with the Marines, but you let it go and you move on,” he says. “We can’t take the whole organization and blame it for the mistakes of a few. That’s not right.”

Even without a prohibition on a specific bar, it’s in the Marine’s best interest to keep his drinking hole heterosexual. “It just doesn’t look good,” says one Marine. “You know the policy on that.”

Phase 1’s policy does impact one group of males that actually wants to go to Phase 1—gay men. O’Malley’s posting of the bar’s rule ignited a rash of criticism from gay readers, upset that the rule was meant to keep out any gay person “without a vagina.” Zack Rosen, one of the creators of the New Gay, explains his readership’s position on the rule: “There were some men who kind of felt discriminated against,” he says. “They were offended that they’d need an escort to get into Phase 1 when it was clear they were an ally.” As with the Marines, gay men’s objections to the Phase 1 rule are rarely presented in person. “[Gay men] have Cobalt, and J.R.’s, and Nellie’s, and 20 other gay bars,” says Rosen. “I can’t imagine some guy sitting at home alone in his polo and his khakis, crying because he can’t get into Phase 1 tonight.”

Photo by Darrow Montgomery.

* Spend Valentine’s Day at “several cute DC, Arlington elderly homes!” helping the D.C. Young Republicans administer manicures to the elderly in their “Mani’s for the Grannies” initiative. Sexist says, the grannies may be cute, the mani’s may be cute, but the elderly homes? Don’t kid yourselves.

* Zack at The New Gay finally figures out why Law & Order: Special Victims Unit is so terrible. The “little-girl-lost” themes “exploit the broadest female stereotypes” while simultaneously interferring with L&O’s classic stereotypical cop-show formula:

Every episode opens with someone stumbling across a body as they go about their daily grind. Two detectives show up and make a wisecrack before the opening credits. Then they chase after a couple red herrings. Once arrested, the correct suspect appears to be evading prosecution due to a legal loophole. But then one of Jack McCoy’s interchangeable dark-haired assistants (excepting Serena Southerly) finds an overlooked detail that breaks the case.

* Hillary Clinton says she will work “expeditiously” to address policies within the State Department that don’t afford same-sex partners the same benefits and protections as heterosexual partners, including evacuation assistance in the event of an emergency. “This is an issue of real concern to me,” Clinton said in a Town Hall meeting for State employees Wednesday. “And even though, as you pointed out, all of our personnel share the same service requirements, the partners in same-sex relationships are not offered the same training, the same benefits, and the same protections that other family members receive when you serve abroad.”

* Wear your ex-masturbator status on your sleeve. “Some say masturbation is not a sin, some say that it is,” reads the advert. “But is it really okay in the eyes of God?” Check out this video from the Passion for Christ Movement for “an inside look of what goes down after church,” and, presumably, people start getting real:

photo by hweiling

* Live in Bloomingdale? (I do!): Join the gentrification society!

* Go on, guess what “objectum-sexuals” love:

a. fruit salad
b. the Eiffel Tower
c. “the narrowness of his jibs”
d. all of the above

Extra-credit question: Why are all objectum-sexuals women?

* Jane Fonda’s blog: actually good?

* The New Gay gives us our morning medicine: “a thirteen-year-old Ricky Martin wearing his butchest pink shirt and imitating a heterosexual!”

“Eiffel Tower Upskirt” photo by palindrome6996

* PETA makes overly sexual, vegan Superbowl ad (above). NBC rejects it, counts the ways:

- licking pumpkin
- touching her breast with her hand while eating broccoli
- pumpkin from behind between legs
- rubbing pelvic region with pumpkin
- screwing herself with broccoli (fuzzy)
- asparagus on her lap appearing as if it is ready to be inserted into vagina
- licking eggplant
- rubbing asparagus on breast

* The New Gay seeks contributors.

* Roissy in D.C. finds the District’s youngest cat lady. Quoth the cat lady, “My cats have never taken me on a date to the 7/11. My cats have never pretended to be the love of my life, then disappeared into thin air without even the courtesy of a post-it note explanation. My cats have never lied about being Navy SEALs. Not once.” Replies Roissy, “She sounds like one of my exes. Always bitching. Her standards are way too high. What’s wrong with 7-11?”

* Feministing outlines the trouble with panic over teen sex—it’s only reserved for the girls, and not the boys.

* The new Hillary Clinton, New York Senator-to-be Kirsten Gillibrand, already has jealous Congressional wolves circling her freshly appointed carcass in the hopes of gaining the seat that is not yet officially hers, in 2010 [via Newsday].

* The New gay tells President Obama what to do. TNG was also nice enough to profile the Sexist in last week’s featured blog spot. Thanks!

* Slate reviews Daniel Bergner’s The Other Side of Desire:

He selects four areas: foot fetishism, sadomasochism, pedophilia, and an obsession for amputees. In each case, he finds and follows a devotee. In the process, Bergner does what science cannot: He illuminates peculiar longings. His method is at first descriptive and finally poetic. The message of the book is in the interplay among personal narratives that prove alternately bizarre and mundane.

* The New York Times Magazine piece suggests that a “generation of postfeminist sexologists” are beginning to unlock the mysterious sexual desires of women. But who will unlock the mystery of what a “postfeminist sexologist” is?

Photo by trialsanderrors.

* Evil Slutopia dreams of Joe Biden:

I had a Joe Biden dream the other night. I was at some event where he was speaking, and I snuck backstage so I could talk to him. (Apparently there are no Secret Service agents in dreams, which made it really easy.) I told him all about the Joe Biden Feminism Watch, and he laughed and was all “no, really?”, and I was all “yes, really!”, and he thought it was awesome and gave me a hug. I also gave him an ESC business card, and then had to explain what our name means and that we weren’t posting about his feminist achievements in between porn and/or erotica posts. (Not that there would be anything wrong with that, but it would have required a longer explanation probably.) So he took the card and he was happy and thought it was all cool, and then he went off to give his speech and I woke up with a massive hangover.

* The New Gay is looking for submissions and editors.

* Reproductive Health Reality Check writes on how euthanasia registers as a reproductive rights victory.

* Dr. Shirin Ebadi, an Iranian activist and Nobel Laureate, faces increased threats to her person and home. Most recently, an angry mob “chanting death threats”:

Ebadi told the Campaing for Equality that “there are a lot of writers on this street, but I am the only writer who is also a traitor! I called the police immediately after the mob arrived. Two police officers arrived on the scene. They stood and watched, as those chanting slogans spray painted my home and attacked the building. They stood and watched, until it was over. The mob left and then the police also left.” [via Feminist Majority Foundation].

* Via Feministing: Now, get rehabilitation for your Internet addiction—they’re doing it for kids in China! Actually, don’t, because your Internet addiction may very well be the only thing keeping my newspaper afloat.

Photo via trialsanderrors.

* The New Gay writes in defense of public displays of affection, despite the consequences:

Yesterday after brunch, my boyfriend and I decided to nap off a hangover in Kalorama Park. So on a perfect afternoon I was lying with my head on my boyfriends stomach while his hand rested on mine. And thats when the trio of 13 year-olds starting calling us “gaylord fuckers” from all the way across the park.

* Reproductive Reality Check attempts the impossible: Advising “adolescents to make wise sexual choices.”

* Erin Niumata for Ladyblog doesn’t think the premise of upcoming Kate Hudson/Ann Hathaway BFF wedding-off comedy Bride Wars looks very funny. “The movie is ostensibly a comedy. But is watching two intelligent, grown women being verbally abusive and playing nasty tricks on one another actually funny? No. It’s tragic. . . . True friendship, like marriage, means supporting one another, overcoming petty jealousies and being there through sickness and health.” I don’t think the movie looks funny, either, but I’m not sure a film about two “true friends” “supporting one another” would be a laugh riot, either.

* Feminist book corner: Feministe reviews So Many Ways to Sleep Badly by Mattilda Bernstein Sycamore.

* XX Factor’s Melinda Henneberger goes to the mall:

I wound up spending my Friday night at the Montgomery Mall. And seeing for myself what deep trouble we are in: No one was there, shoppers or salespeople, to the point that I began to have horror-flick fantasies. (Oh no, it’s the Rapture and we’ve been left behind at the Montgomery Mall? How humiliating.) Because no one can afford new inventory, it was also like a visit to the Island of Misfit Toys (and Sweaters).

Photo via trialsanderrors.

* Photos of Bristol Palin and Levi Johnston’s son, Tripp, have netted the underage couple $300,000 from People magazine. Is that enough to get the fuck out of Wasilla and never look back? Or just enough to fund a forced white wedding?

* Dude blogger Roissy in D.C. knows how to identify a slut! She is sarcastic, wears no underwear, and has “that crazy, hyper, coked-up look in her eyes.” Roissy knows this because he has had sex with many, many sluts, which raises the question—does Roissy wear underwear?

* Zack at The New Gay writes on the type of gay men straight men are comfortable befriending:

Recently, a straight guy told my boyfriend how much he loved him for not letting his gayness define him as a person. In short, he was really excited that my boyfriend was gay, but not “gay like that.”

* Note to cops: Don’t threaten feminist bloggers; they’ll put it on YouTube and make fun of you for only having one friend on MySpace (Tom).

* Tiger Beatdown calls out the New York Times Book Review for its glowing Phyllis McGinley review:

Ginia Bellafante, apparently not into this whole “history and also actual well-documented fact” thing, seems to recall the 1950s differently: as a blissful Eden, from which women were expelled when they ate from the Tree of Wanting an Actual Freaking Choice.

Photo via trialsanderrors.

And we’re back!

* Larry Craig’s Minneapolis-St. Paul International airport bathroom stall isn’t getting any more traffic from camera-toting tourists—or from anonymous sex-seekers.

* Tiger Beatdown has found your new female role model: In defense of Veronica Mars.

* The New Gay talks courtship tactics—are you a cheetah or a gazelle? In the straight scene, Michael writes, men are generally cheetahs, women gazelles. In the gay scene, it’s a little different:

My boyfriend, he’s a cheetah. He’s always been the pursuer. So much so that he never realized that gazelles existed. He assumed that guys just went out there pursuing one another until two of them pursued one’s dick into the other’s ass. Metaphorically speaking, of course.

* The L.A. Times has a nice obit on a woman you’ve never heard of: Martha S. Putney, historian, feminist, and one of 40 black women chosen to serve in the Women’s Army Corps in World War II, died earlier this month in Washington, D.C. She was 92.

* Slate’s Melinda Henneberger says sorry, Carolyn: are the Kennedy’s a dynasty without an heir?

Photo via trialsanderrors.

* The New Gay reveals an “an exciting new way to internalize homophobia“: It’s not gay, it’s g0y! G0ys (pictured) hate anal sex, femininity, and gay dudes, but love God and casually bro-ing out with other dudes and blowing them. And they spell their sexuality with a zero. Sign up here!

* Slate tapes an interview with a MILF.

* Fashion Fuel D.C. wonders if men will save us from recession, because “while women tend to shop out of frivolity, men tend to shop out of necessity.” But women shop for others, too.

* Bay Windows rates the LGBT friendliness of Obama appointments.

* From Feministing: New Zealand dude thinks abortions lead men to beat women, because their “maleness is under threat.” Kind of sweet and old-fashioned, no?

Photo from g0ys.org

I’m not sure if that whole “scourge” thing is tongue-in-cheek or not, but I, for one, am truly against marriage and for taverns. So while this is only The New Gay’s first attempt at ending marriage through social drinking, I sincerely hope it is not their last.

John over at The New Gay has outlined a plan of attack for responding to the passage of Prop 8 and anti-gay legislation like it. In “Prop 8: WTF Do We Do Now?” John lays out a guide to staying on message, appointing successful leadership, and out-organizing the Mormons.

Photo by brenbot.

* Amazing story from NPR about an Iraqi woman from Fallujah who makes good—then not so good—in the United States. Includes:

- Daring escape from abusive brother
- Illicit Marine base love affair
- Booze-fueled Ozark, Mo. marriage
- Tattoo rings
- Last-ditch job as topless dancer
- Husband’s post-traumatic stress disorder
- Arrest for child abuse

* Will Barack Obama come in at the buzzer to upstage Palin’s SNL appearance on the Saturday before Election Day?

* Evil Slutopia reminds you that the rest of SNL still sucks:

We had actually been raving about SNL lately, because of the pure genius they’ve been coming up with consistently regarding the election. But we had been watching those sketches online for the most part, missing all of the really shitty stuff in between.

*New The New Gay “Lefthanded Lesbians” comic strip: How many lesbians does it take to change a lightbulb?

* Things over at Roissy in D.C. get political. Dropping “Bill Ayers” in da club: Not getting anyone laid since 1969.

* Photo by NCinDC

Metrokin and Farris list five outstanding questions they have with the city’s handling of the case, including the police’s change of the classification of the crime from “robbery” to “altercation” and the lack of charges filed against a second victim in the attack:

1) The police report classifed this as a bias crime based on sexual orientation, It also stated robbery was a motive, and listed a cellphone, car keys, and cash that was stolen. Now, the police claim that this was an “altercation.” Why the change?

2) The arrest warrant identifies two witnesses who claim that there was a sexual advance that preceded the attack. One is the defendent, and the other is someone who knows him. Is that all they have? The charge – voluntary manslaugher, instead of murder – seems to be based on this account (otherwise, it would be at least second-degree murder). Why would a case precede on that testimony, which is obviously suspect? The arrest warrant identifies another witness who confirms the second victim’s account, so it is baffling as to why the version put forth by the defendant and his friend seems to be guiding this case.

3) Why have no charges been filed in the attack on the second victim? The police report clearly indicates that there was a second vicitm with bruises.

4) Why hasn’t the DA’s office contacted the second vicitm, either about charges in his case or as a witness in Tony Hunter’s case?

5) Why have charges been filed against only one suspect, when the police report says there were 4, as does the second victim?

Full press release after the jump.

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE:

Charges in Tony R. Hunter Case Raises More Questions Than Answers

WASHINGTON DC, October 17, 2008 – As more facts are unveiled in the recent arrest and manslaughter charge in the death of Tony Randolph Hunter, members of GLOV are left searching for answers and concerned about the path the city’s case seems to be taking.”

“Part of GLOV’s mission is to monitor cases to ensure that the rights and dignity of glbt victims are respected and protected,” says co-chairman Chris Farris. “That’s why we’re shocked at the apparent “gay panic” defense and subsequent charge of manslaughter in Tony’s murder which don’t seem to support the facts of this case. So many questions remain that we’re wondering how CAREFUL the MPD and District Attorney are being.”

We encourage the media to uncover the truth about this murder. GLOV is pursuing answers to the following questions:

1) The police report classifed this as a bias crime based on sexual orientation, It also stated robbery was a motive, and listed a cellphone, car keys, and cash that was stolen. Now, the police claim that this was an “altercation.” Why the change?

2) The arrest warrant identifies two witnesses who claim that there was a sexual advance that preceded the attack. One is the defendent, and the other is someone who knows him. Is that all they have? The charge – voluntary manslaugher, instead of murder – seems to be based on this account (otherwise, it would be at least second-degree murder). Why would a case precede on that testimony, which is obviously suspect? The arrest warrant identifies another witness who confirms the second victim’s account, so it is baffling as to why the version put forth by the defendant and his friend seems to be guiding this case.

3) Why have no charges been filed in the attack on the second victim? The police report clearly indicates that there was a second vicitm with bruises.

4) Why hasn’t the DA’s office contacted the second vicitm, either about charges in his case or as a witness in Tony Hunter’s case?

5) Why have charges been filed against only one suspect, when the police report says there were 4, as does the second victim?

* Juicy Campus has hit George Washington University. How do G.W. gossips compare to Georgetown’s finest? So far, Juciy Campus’ G.W. page seems to have a lot more nonsense on it. That’s a good thing, writes Travis of G.W. student blog The Colonialist: “I spent the weekend surfing the site a lot, putting up things about myself and my roommates. I’d like to openly admit to writing all 10 of the comments calling The GW Patriot racist. I’d be willing to bet that 80% of the posts on the site are done with the same innocent prank attitude. It’s a playground.”

* The New Gay blogger inspired, depressed by gay couples. TNG’s Jon surveyed the scene at the annual HRC fundraiser on Saturday: “Men were holding hands, women were kissing, and partners were snuggling up and laughing together at their tables,” Jon laments. “This is all wonderful of course, but it served as an in-your-face reminder that I’m currently partner-less.”

* Sex blogger dude Roissy in D.C. says the recession will mean better sex:

If a protracted and deep recession leads to the average woman cutting costs at the supermarket and steering clear of the high calorie packaged foodstuffs, it could mean more slender women and, consequently, better sex. . . . Hard times bring “hard” times.

Hmm. Maybe it will also teach Roissy a lesson in economics.

* Local blogger Jimbo makes an appearance at Maryland Renaissance Festival, hears best catcall ever: “Oooh, gurl, he’s dressed up like an evil sex sorceror.”

* Before the presidential face-offs resume tonight, let’s remember just how far we’ve come since last Thursday’s veep debates. Thanks to The Guardian’s Michelle Goldberg for highlighting Palin’s most nonsensical non-answer:

Say it ain’t so, Joe, there you go again pointing backwards again. You preferenced [sic] your whole comment with the Bush administration. Now doggone it, let’s look ahead and tell Americans what we have to plan to do for them in the future. You mentioned education, and I’m glad you did. I know education you are passionate about with your wife being a teacher for 30 years, and god bless her. Her reward is in heaven, right? … My brother, who I think is the best schoolteacher in the year, and here’s a shout-out to all those third graders at Gladys Wood Elementary School, you get extra credit for watching the debate.

Shit, is it possible to just place a [sic] around an entire quote? Or to have one floating over her head every time she speaks? Get on it, magic Jesus.

Photo by dumbonyc, in mourning of last night’s re-run of Gossip Girl. –XOXO, The Sexist

* Melissa McEwan over at Shakesville says a cat’s place is in the cleavage:

this morning, after [the cat had] been driving me bananas for about an hour with this new routine, I tucked the bottom of the tanktop I was wearing up under my boobs to create a little pouch, then stuck her inside, where she promptly fell asleep for about three hours.

And yes, there is a photo.

* Over at The New Gay: A David Foster Wallace obit, from the perspective of someone who’s never read a book by David Foster Wallace.

* The District cracks down on clubs that have different age requirements for men and women, the G.W. Hatchet reported last week. Metro News Editor Alexa Millinger writes that it’s “not uncommon for bars and clubs to advertise events with a minimum entrance age of 18 for females and 21 for males,” and writes that ABRA community resource officer Cynthia Woodruff-Simms “said she knows of a few places in Adams Morgan, U Street and the Southeast Waterfront that use these practices”—all of which seems unnecessarily vague. Can we get the skinny on the effect on those “few places”?

* Via Feministing via Boing Boing: Sexist men make more money. Writes Vanessa:

Most of my friends who make a lot of cheese (finance, technology – all male-dominated fields mind you) seem to have experienced or witnessed more sexism than others. (The corporate world alone is enough to make one nauseous.) And what is there to be said for women who believe in traditional gender roles making less money than women who don’t?

* Via Slate: How the “Campaign for a Commercial-Free Childhood” made the case that “Bratz” dolls—along with “explicit music,” “rap videos,” and M&M flavored “lip gloss,” contribute to “eating disorders, low self-esteem, depression and poor sexual health.”

* Larry Craig is back: The Idaho senator has started a legal defense fund to aid in his attempt to overturn his guilty plea from a June 2007 “misdemeanor disorderly conduct” charge, the Idaho Statesman reports. Last February, the Senate Ethics Committee admonished Craig for spending over $200,000 of unused campaign funds to try to reverse the plea; now, he’s accepting donations after the fund, dubbed “The Fund for Justice,” was OK’d by the Ethics Committee.

* Larry Craig extra: While perusing the Senator’s Web site, I came across this page, wherein Larry Craig debunks common Internet rumors for his constituents. The page features a totally creepy photo of Craig who, through some feat of dark magick, appears to be balancing a man-sized Fabergé egg in his palm. My favorite of Craig’s “fact or fiction” crusades for truth, filed under “Tax on email“:

Some folks have contacted me about a possible five-cent tax on email. This is a hoax that began circulating on the Internet several years ago. An email message warns people that “House Bill 602P” will levy a five-cent surcharge on every email sent. It goes on to say that the bill is sponsored by Congressman Tony Schnell, and the funds would go to the U.S. Postal Service. Further, it refers to an “editorial” in the “March 6 issue” of The Washingtonian supporting the tax. . . . Let me assure you, there is no Bill 602P. There is no Member of Congress by the name of Tony Schnell, and the United States Postal Service has nothing to do with delivering email. The Washingtonian is a monthly magazine, and does not even have a “March 6″ issue. It is highly unlikely that a measure like this will ever come to the Senate floor for debate.

Glaring omission: That pesky Larry Craig gay rumor.

* Via Feministe: Taking your children to vote with you is adorable; homeless voters find obstacles at the polls.

* Slate’s Trey Patterson remembers MTV video countdown “Total Request Live”, set to take a “hiatus” this November:

TRL’s signature moment came to pass one Thursday in July of 2001, when pop diva Mariah Carey dropped in unexpectedly. She entered pushing a cart filled with ice-cream treats, wore a pair of shorts connoting assertive depravity, and gave voice to existential frustrations: “You’re my therapy session right now, Carson.” Her behavior was sufficiently erratic that the crowd couldn’t squeal for it with any real consistency.

* Meanwhile, Meghan McCain blogs her “Last Call with Carson Daly” experience on McCain Blogette.

* Elsewhere on Slate, Josh Patner recaps fashion week’s “re-envisioning” of the “American woman.

* Jezebel updates you on the aftermath of DJ AM and Travis Barker’s plane crash: exes Mandy Moore and Shanna Moakler at bedsides; Lindsey Lohan and Samantha Ronson blog; Jamie Kennedy, Lauren Conrad, and Kathy Griffin sound off.

* Via BYT via Gawker: Anderson Cooper’s (alleged) lovers: a primer.

* The New Gay CANNOT CONTROL THE VOLUME OF ITS VOICE.

Friday, Sept. 19

Homosonic, The New Gay’s “alternative co-ed dance party for queer folk and their friends.” Black Cat Backstage, 1811 14th St NW. 9:30 p.m.—2:30 a.m. $5.

Club music performing artist Inaya Day performs at Apex, 1415 22nd St. NW. 12:30 a.m. $10.

Saturday, Sept. 20

Adventuring, a GLBT outdoor activity group, hosts a hike to Duncan Knob in the Massanutten Mountains. Meet at the East Falls Church Metro Station Kiss & Ride lot. 9 a.m. About $20.

The Summer Masquerade Ball, D.C.’s 12th annual masked fetish party. LIV Nightclub (at Bohemian Caverns), 2001 11th St. NW. 9 p.m.—3 a.m. $25 in advance, $30 at the door.

Mixtape, a new monthly alternative party hosted by DJs Shea Van Horn and Matt Bailer. Dahlak, 1771 U St. NW. 10 p.m. Free.

Sunday, Sept. 21

“What Shiqueeta Lee Has Done With It,” a lip-synched play starring LaShawn Johnson as Tina Turner. The Arc, located at 1901 Mississippi Ave. S.E. 5 p.m. and 8 p.m. $27 in advance; $30 at the door.

The Miss Black National Plus Annual Pageant, a drag pageant featuring gown, sportswear, and talent competition. Bachelor’s Mill, 1104 8th St. SE. 9 p.m.

Photo by Darrow Montgomery

* In an interview with the Blade, comedian Margaret Cho calls Sarah Palin the “worst thing to happen to America since 9/11.”

* The New Gay, which already has a gay male comic strip, Curbside, has added a sister comic: Lefthanded Lesbians by Mag.

* Feministing finds an extremely disturbing McCain/Palin t-shirt that gives new, somehow even creepier meaning to the phrase “Drill, baby, drill.”

* Unrelated, don’t care: McSweeney’s remembers David Foster Wallace.

* On Slate, Dahlia Lithwick serves Joe Biden with some rules on how to fight a girl. Lithwick, a former parliamentary debater (side-note: totally awesome), gives Biden a frank run-down on how not to lose the Veep debate to Governor Palin. Most of the advice is fine—don’t leer, don’t condescend, don’t stoop—until Lithwick slips from the particular Biden/Palin scenario to a generalization about all male/female match-ups.

When Lithwick writes that her “insanely successful college debate friend told me recently that the way he won against women was by always behaving like they were men,” the implication is that minus their feminine wiles—the lipstick on their pit bulls—women will lose. After a long explanation of why Biden shouldn’t respond to Palin with Palin tactics, Lithwick’s kicker—”My best advice to you for dealing with Gov. Palin? Fight like a man. She will.”—is both confusing and lame. Who’s the man what now?

* The Washington Post marches boldly on with their “Wedding Week” coverage. At 1 p.m. today, join the authors of The Bridal Wave: A Survival Guide to the Everyone-I-Know-Is-Getting-Married Years for a live online chat. Ask Erin Torneo and Valerie Cabrera Krause how people who desperately wish they were married manage to be more tragic than the people who actually publicly declare how they’re going to love each other forever in front of everyone they know. Including their parents.

* Wait, coverage of marriage issues that doesn’t include pandering to the wedding industry? The Blade tips you off to a panel discussion on marriage rights in California and Massachusetts, tonight at 6:30 at the University of California Washington Center. UCWC is located at 1608 Rhode Island Avenue NW.

* The New Gay chronicles the “hidden history” of the women behind the writings of Victorian author Michael Field.

* Via Wonkette: Michelle dances with Ellen. Possible next First Lady jam: Rihanna’s “Don’t Stop the Music.” Last year, Barack got down to Beyonce’s “Crazy in Love.” Umm, I only watch Ellen when an Obama is on the show, does she make everyone do this?

Photo by NCinDC.