This week in college sex columns: The University of Mary Washington tells students to fuck finals, and just fuck; Georgetown University explains WTF a "Zombie Fling" is, and why it should be avoided; Jaclyn Friedman administers a beatdown to misogynist college columnists.

UNIVERSITY OF MARY WASHINGTON tells you to fuck finals:

Sex Tip: In this edition of The Bullet sex column Sexclamations, Erin Hill advises students to take sexual study breaks to relieve stress: "Although it will consume a bit of your study time, making love to your partner and enjoying his or her presence will boost your mood and help you get a better grip on stress and other activities related to it. You may not find yourself 'in the mood,' but spending time with your partner and getting a few sessions in the sack can ultimately be extremely rewarding and beneficial to you and your partner’s well being."

Life Lesson: You don't have to take your clothes off: "simply holding hands can alleviate stress," Hill writes. Students without hands to hold can also "look at some LOLcats and have a few giggles," or masturbate.

Progressive Meter: Blowing off studying to have sex? Including options for students who don't want to have sex, and those who want to have sex with themselves? A+.

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GEORGETOWN UNIVERSITY wants your relationships to feel like "an icy cool glass of lemonade on a hot July day":

Sex Tip: Hoya relationship columnist Colleen Leahey apprises her classmates of all manner of "fling" they can engage in this summer. According to Leahey, all summer flings are good ideas. Except for the "Zombie Fling," which must be avoided:

This relationship resembles a pesky bee you continuously chase around the room trying to swat, but, at the last minute, feel too bad to kill. It’s that hook-up you absolutely hate to enjoy and desperately want out, but you can’t seem to fully climb down the escape ladder. Out of all the flings, this is the only one I would suggest staying away from, for the complex feelings it typically yields are far from refreshing or exhilarating. If you find yourself with a zombie, get the strength to end things and use the summer as your rebound. There is no better time for a little recuperation than the summer months."

Life Lesson: "Like an icy cool glass of lemonade on a hot July day, the summer fling refreshes the exhausted college student’s mental and physical health."

Progressive Meter: Leahey approves of all summer relationship lengths, of from one week to three months. I'll take it.

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SEX COLUMNIST EMERITUS and feminist superstar Jaclyn Friedman ain't in college anymore. But campus columnists of the misogynist variety would do well to heed her advice:

Sex Tip: Your faux-edgy pro-rape columns are not, in fact, edgy. "Congratulations. You have written a column encouraging dudes to rape drunk girls, and it's now earning you 15 seconds of internet fame. Well played. I hope you're making the most of your moment," Friedman writes. Unfortunately, your misogyny is boring: "don't kid yourself into thinking you're groundbreaking or even original. People have been telling women who 'misbehave' that they deserve/secretly want 'whatever happens to them' since the dawn of time."

Life Lesson: Do not write faux-edgy pro-rape columns: "please go directly to hell," Friedman concludes. "I have just as much right as any man does to go out and have a few drinks without having a violent felony perpetrated against me."

Progressive Meter: A zillion.

Photo via the Library of Virginia.

The battle for ideological dominance in our nation’s capital’s collegiate sex columns continues. Are our local campus columnists on the forefront of radical sex writing, or are they bringing back the good old days of sticking rhinestones up our asses? Wait, what?

This week in college sex columns: In the future, we will bedazzle our butt cracks; Why your grandmother is wrong about staying single; why sex columnists should listento their LGBT peers.

TOWSON UNIVERSITY addresses the Vajazzling epidemic.

Sex Tip: In Towson University's Towerlight, writer Chiquita Young takes on vajazzling. She is skeptical. In a story entitled "Rhinestones are a vagina's best friend," Young writes, "I saw this I would laugh and stare. Plus when the jewels start falling off the sex factor is instantly erased, because then you’ll be too busy picking loose jewels out of your panties. . . . There is nothing fashionable about putting rhinestones on your vagina."

Life Lesson: Vajazzling is a slippery slope. "[A]ll I have to say is when will the madness stop? What’s next, bedazzling our butt cracks? Bedazzled bikinis?"

Progressive Meter: Oh, you know I cannot resist. 10.

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GEORGETOWN UNIVERSITY tells students to start dating already.

Sex Tip: Listen to your elders. This time around, Georgetown Hoya relationship columnist Colleen Leahey learns some relationship tips from her grandmother. Grammy, who dispenses advice while lounging in her trademark red knit suit in Palm Beach, tells a single Leahey, "Good for you, darling. There is nothing wrong with being young and single."

Life Lesson: Well, don't listen to them too much. After hearing Granny's advice to stay single, Leahey goads her classmates into pairing up. "As the weather warms and winter depression disappears, prove my Grammy wrong. Go out on a limb and ask someone out. Girls, if you are comfortable ignoring all the silly rules your mother taught you as a young girl, then ask a boy out. Just be aware they will be far less excited about seeing the pretty cherry blossoms than you," she writes. "And guys, ask your crush on a date (weekday dates are usual preferable if you are scared she’ll say no). Seriously, you have nothing to lose. For better or worse, you will have a story to tell."

Progressive Meter: Sentiment that women should take the romantic lead is swiftly followed by the claim that boys don't like flowers. So, it's kind of a wash as far as gender stereotyping is concerned.

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THE UNIVERSITY OF MARY WASHINGTON listens to the school's LGBT set.

Sex Tips: In this edition of The Bullet's "Sexclamations" column, Erin Hill opens up her column space for her LGBT classmates to answer the question: “What is one thing you want straight people to know about your sexuality or gender expression?” Among the responses: “Sexuality is a beautiful thing, and essentially, it is about falling in love. Bisexuality just means you can fall in love with twice the people.” “Lesbians aren’t just flannel-wearing butch women. Lesbians are a community of diverse women who have a variety of interests, appearances, gender expressions and ways of loving.” "I am not a ‘label’… no matter how you describe me, it doesn’t encompass all that I am."

Life Lesson: Above all, Hill's column provides a lesson for sex columnists everywhere: Write outside your own experience.

Progressive Meter: Another 10!

Photo via Oregon State University Archives

Gergetown student newspaper the Hoya detailed the efforts of a CUA student group that's attempting to gain official recognition from the school's administration. The group, "CUAllies," is an unofficial support group for LGBT students on CUA's campus. CUAllies first lobbied to be recognized as an official student org back in August, but was denied. In the rejection, Catholic University "claimed that an adequate support structure for LGBTQ students already existed on campus."

CUA currently recognizes campus groups devoted to anime, role playing, and virtue, but none which serve the particular needs of the LGBT community. A quick search for LGBT on the University's Web site yields no hits that lead to support services directed at students.

The Hoya piece on the group contained such controversial statements as "CUAllies hopes that the recognition of the group will provide a safer and more tolerant atmosphere for the university’s LGBTQ community," and, "In spite of the administration’s failure to recognize CUAllies, the group has been successful as an unofficial organization."

The Cardinal Newman Society, the leading organization devoted to keeping Catholic schools Catholic, is calling bullshit on those assertions.

" CUAllies . . . was denied official recognition by the university because its goals were contrary to the university’s Catholic identity," the Cardinal Newsman Society wrote in response to the Hoya. "The Hoya article is clearly slanted in favor of CUAllies, touting the group’s alleged popularity and success as an unofficial organization, but that may be exaggerated according to on-campus sources to The Cardinal Newman Society."

Egad: Anonymous sources allege the possibility of exaggerated popularity? Could this be the work of a sham Catholic institution's radical college newspaper's secret anti-Catholic agenda? Oh, probably:

"Unlike CUA, which is among several colleges recommended in The Newman Guide to Choosing a Catholic College because of its strong Catholic identity, Georgetown has come under criticism for flagrant abuses of its Catholic identity for several years," the Cardinal Newman Society continues (buy Cardinal Newman's guide to the Catholic-y-est colleges here). "Both the controversial student group GUPride and the LGBTQ Resource Center bear official Georgetown University approval. . . . During October 2009, the LGBTQ Resource Center has an entire month of 'coming out' events planned on campus."

In other words, if you attend a university which happens to have an LGBT organization on campus, you're not allowed to report on the lack of LGBT organizations on other campuses. It's just not Catholic to question decisions made by the Catholic University of America administration.

Criticisms of D.C.-area student sex columns, however, rarely take the form of the right-wing, anti-sex diatribe. At local colleges and universities, sex columnists are more likely to catch heat for furthering sex-negative sentiments, antiquated gender roles, or sloppy writing.

Last month, the American University Eagle's anonymous sex column was criticized for trivializing rape, ignoring LGBT students, and discouraging women from pursuing sex. Also this month, Georgetown University student journalist Juliana Brint accused her campus' sex columns of being "backwards, anti-feminist screeds" based on "outdated, belittling generalizations about the female psyche." How progressive are our local student sex writers?

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Student Paper: The G.W. Hatchet

Columnists: Mr. Darcy, an anonymous heterosexual male; Layla, an anonymous heterosexual female.

Areas of Coverage: In Darcy's inaugural column, the male sex columnist posed an Austenian dilemma: Shall he choose the nice girl who gives a satisfying blow job, or the freaky one into semi-public window sex? Answer: Looks like he's sleeping (with both of them) on it for a little while longer. In Layla's latest go-around, she describes her unorthodox relationship with a "best friend" from out-of-town: They do it all the time, but they're not dating or anything, and it's awesome!

Progressive Score: 6. Both Darcy and Layla describe their personal experiences with casual sex with multiple partners—and they do so with respect for themselves and for everyone else involved. In college, that can be difficult—it's hardly edgy, but I'll take it. The problem with first-person sex columns from two heteros, though, is that the LGBT experience is completely shut out of the paper.

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Student paper: The American University Eagle.

Sex columnists: Three anonymous writers—one female, two male, sexual orientation undisclosed. Their porny bylines: Amber Sparkles, Buster Darkhole, and Maxwell Hillcrest.

Areas of Coverage: The trio got off to a controversial start last month when they posited this hypothetic sexual experience—"It’s three in the morning. You have it inside you right now. It kind of hurts. You’ve had one too many cups of jungle juice"—as a normal AU hookup. In their follow-up column, Sparkles, Darkhole, and Hillcrest winked at the controversy as they moved on to another taboo campus topic. "It’s 3 a.m. and he has it in you right now. It hurts," the column read. "You are two sober, consenting adults who have just embarked on the journey of anal sex."

Progressive Score: 7. While the first column from the threesome was extremely ill-advised, this servicey anal sex primer—don't use silicone lube with silicone toys!—imparted some helpful and open-minded advice for dorm-dwellers embarking on an anal excursion for the first time. It also made a stab at inclusiveness: "Gay, straight, bisexual—it doesn’t matter," the column reads. "Anyone can enjoy the feeling that comes from anal stimulation, no matter their gender or sexual orientation."

But while the column worked to dispel the "taboo" against straight men enjoying ass play, it failed to tackle the pressure many straight women feel to do anal. It also only addressed the anal pleasure derived from massaging the prostate. Not everybody has a prostate!

On the other hand, the threesome managed to stir up some conservative ire for the column—always a good sign. "I am appalled at the content of the Eagle’s new column," wrote one commenter. "I find this particular article vulgar."

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Student Paper: The Georgetown University Hoya.

Sex Columnists: Colleen Leahey

Areas of Coverage: According to Brint, who writes for the Georgetown Voice, Leahey's "backwards, anti-feminist screeds" come from a long line of conservative Georgetown sex columnists (Julia Allison was the first). In Leheay's first column, she declared that "The quest for 'Prince Charming' consumes the lives of most 20-something females." The odd advice in her second column wasn't so much gender-specific as it was stalker-specific: "After shouting their name, you wait for them to come running into your arms. Instead they ask, 'Why are you following me?'"

Progressive Score: 4. Leahey may very well have her hands tied at this particularly conservative student rag, which is lucky to have a sex column at all. "“[V]ulgarity is discouraged through all sections in The Hoya,” Hoya Managing Editor Marissa Amendolia explained in an e-mail to Brint. “[W]hen it comes to editing for style, vulgarity—and, depending on the situation, this may include sexual explicitness—is subject to editing as long as the editor maintains the author’s viewpoint.” That being said, Leahey doesn't have to get vulgar to become a bit more open-minded. It would behoove her to direct her columns to all members of the campus community, not just heterosexual females she deems "desperate."

Nevertheless, I give Leahey and the Hoya major points for refusing to hide their sex coverage under a pseudonym (even a pseudonym as inspired as "Buster Darkhole"). The Hoya's sex talk may be low on the sex, but at least they own it. If there's nothing wrong with talking about casual sex and anal experimentation, why keep your identity under the covers?

Note: I couldn't find any current sex columns at the UMD Diamondback, the Howard University Hilltop, or, uh, Catholic University. If you know of any other local student sex writers, let me know!

On Sept. 4, Georgetown University told its students to stop calling him “The Cuddler.”

Because cuddle is far too soft a description for what the suspect does. In a typical attack, a man enters a student’s residence through an unlocked window or door, lies down next to her, and attempts to sexually assault her. He’s been accused of everything from laying a blanket atop his victim to placing his penis on his victim’s thigh. According to D.C. Police, the episodes span a 20-month period stretching back to January 2008.

Despite the disturbing MO, “Georgetown Cuddler” persists as an on-campus nickname for this criminal. When two assaults were reported days before the start of the fall semester, the university attempted to put an end to the moniker. “Descriptions that refer to some suspects as a ‘cuddler’ can detract from the serious nature of these incidents,” a letter to students read.

Beyond the warning against the popular nickname, Georgetown’s campus alert was conspicuously short on descriptors. “As you may know, our campus and surrounding neighborhoods have experienced incidents over the past year, and several in the past week,” the university hedged. Students who may not know about the history of sexual assaults around campus—including incoming freshmen—were afforded no further elaboration on the nature of the “incidents.”

Molly Redden, who has covered the beat for campus publication the Georgetown Voice, recognized the university’s decision to invoke the nickname even as it denounced its use. “Referring to the suspect as ‘The Cuddler’ does detract from how serious the incidents are,” says Redden. “At the same time, I wouldn’t be surprised if the university used the nickname as an indicator of which specific crimes they’re actually referring to.”

While administrators view “Georgetown Cuddler” as an inaccurate and inappropriate nickname, it provides students a helpful—even necessary—shorthand for covering an ongoing campus safety risk. Georgetown’s letter denouncing the nickname was the school’s most transparent response to the string of attacks to date. But the Georgetown Voice has been publishing the nickname for nearly a year—and alerting students to the school’s sexual assault problem each time the “Cuddler” is invoked.

“When I write something that’s ‘Cuddler’ related, it gets more attention on campus,” says Voice projects editor Will Sommer. “I would never make it seem as though something is a ‘Cuddler’ attack when it isn’t. But when you associate the ‘Cuddler’ thing, it lends a narrative to it.” That narrative, Sommer says, has been missing from Georgetown University’s previous response to the assaults—a series of “Public Safety Alerts” (PSAs) which fail to address the incidents as a campus trend.

Sommer says he was likely responsible for debuting “The Cuddler” in campus media last fall, in a post on Voice blog Vox Populi. Looking back on the coverage, Sommer says, “I thought, Oh my God—did I come up with the Cuddler? What a disaster. But if you look at the post, you can see that I’m not making clear what ‘Cuddler’ even means. By that point, it looks like it requires no explanation.” By the time the term migrated from the student body to the student press, it had already inspired editorial backlash. In his inaugural post referencing the “Cuddler,” Sommer suggested that Georgetown stop referencing the “Cuddler.” “Given the seriousness/scariness of the Cuddler’s attacks, we need to get this guy a new nickname,” he wrote. “‘The Cuddler’ just sounds way too sweet, like he’s a child scared of the dark and in need of affection.”

Over the next year, Voice staffers continued to rally against the nickname’s use—while marking off suspected assault locations on its Google map, “Suspected ‘Georgetown Cuddler’ Incidents.” In November 2008, the Voice published a piece debating the appropriateness of Cuddler-based jokes which included an interview with a student who dressed as the “Cuddler” for Halloween. In February, Redden lamented the term’s stickiness, writing, “I can’t keep using quotes around ‘Cuddler’ to try to mollify my discomfort in using the term forever!”

Possible alternatives to the “Cuddler” have been discussed. “We talk about it a lot. Everyone wants a different name, but we can’t find something good,” says Sommer. “The ‘Cuddler’ is a very catchy thing.” So far, Voice staffers have failed to alight on a viable substitute for the “Cuddler.” “We came up with ‘Cuddle-Rapist,’” says Sommer. “Doesn’t really roll off the tongue, does it?” Even “The Cuddler” has proven more sensitive than some alternatives. “We’ve tried ‘crapist,’ but it sounds too much like the people who make pastries,” says Juliana Brint, the editor of Vox Populi. “There really are no good nicknames.”

Even bad nicknames can produce good PR. “The discussion about the ‘Cuddler’ nickname has made people more aware,” says Sommer. “When someone dresses as the ‘Cuddler’ for Halloween, it makes people think about the fact that there are Cuddler victims out there who could see that costume. So it’s really given a lot of attention to the issue.” Despite the potential positives, other campus outlets have declined to devote much ink to the nickname. The Hoya, Georgetown’s student newspaper, first mentioned the name “Cuddler” in its 2009 April Fools issue, and again in an April 24 investigative report. In an e-mail, Hoya editor Kevin Barber said that Hoya staffers “always limit our use of the term to reference…the campus community’s widespread use of the phrase to describe these sorts of incidents.”

Despite its liberal use of the “Cuddler,” the Voice takes care to clarify the seriousness of each sexual assault incident it reports. It’s also criticized Georgetown University for employing other euphemisms in its reports on the attacks. Georgetown’s PSA alerting students to two similar incidents in April 2008 classified the offenses as “burglaries” instead of sexual assaults, even though one victim “awakened to find an unknown male in her bed.” In the most recent incident, the university PSA described a sexual assault against a student but failed to provide additional details. “I was a little irritated that, instead of giving details about the digital penetration, the university said that the suspect ‘began sexually assaulting her,’” says Brint. “That’s kind of a meaningless phrase. It didn’t indicate at all how serious the incident actually was. I do think that’s problematic.”

Georgetown says its PSAs announcing the sexual assaults were “based on information that is reported to the Department of Public Safety,” and that the assault reports were supplemented by the Sept. 4 letter “underscoring the need for students to remain vigilant.”

Brint says that she was “happy” to see the university finally address the incidents directly and to discourage the use of the nickname on campus. That doesn’t mean that she’s going to stop using it. “My guess is that it’s going to persist,” she says. “It’s hard to get these things out of the vernacular.” In lieu of a less offensive moniker, Brint says the Voice has adjusted how it will refer to the offender. “We’ve been trying to minimize as much as possible our use of that term,” she says. “But we will include it once, for clarification’s sake.”

RELATED: A "Georgetown Cuddler" Timeline: How the sexual assault nickname became a Georgetown institution.

Photo by Darrow Montgomery

The Georgetown University student newspaper, the Hoya, has a story this week about the phenomenon of on-campus "pleasure parties." Reporter Alex Lee writes about a pleasure party she hosted at her Georgetown townhouse:

Sitting cross-legged on my living room sofa here at Georgetown, Jenny Cancelado holds in her right hand twelve inches of vibrating, scintillating and writhing purple plastic. “This,” she beams, “is the Endless Pleasure. It is the Cadillac of our toy line.” After a litany of lubes, lotions and other little extras that were a part of the so-called pleasure party hosted at my townhouse, Cancelado had saved the toys for an encore.

I knew a girl like this in college. She was so "progressive" and "open" about her sexuality that she made sure to corner every dorm resident and explain her progressive openness to them. This openness came in the form of extensive PDA displays with her boyfriend, whose tiny single-room dorm she conquered shortly into our first semester; inappropriate butt-squeezing, from which no one was safe; and, of course, a  psychological void that could only be filled by offending someone by saying something "outrageous."

It wasn't long before the Pleasure Party invitation came in. As Lee explains in the Hoya piece, Pleasure Parties are promotional gatherings targeted at women. At them, sex toys and accessories "are presented to guests who are offered an opportunity to touch, smell and even taste products. . . . [the event] strives to create a setting where women can express and explore their sexuality openly and on their own terms."

In my experience, though, the Pleasure Party is actually the place where "exploring your sexuality" meets "exploiting your friends" through "pushing expensive product." I declined the invitation.

Photo by paper or plastic?

Last week, Georgetown University student newspaper The Hoya slammed a new arrival on campus. “[A] dangerous and undesired element,” sniffed the editorial; “a cancer to our community.”

What was the offending newcomer? A discriminatory professor? A crackdown on underage drinking?

Actually, it’s a Web site. On Wednesday, Sept. 10, Georgetown became one of the 412 college campuses free to air its schoolyard gossip at JuicyCampus.com. Juicy Campus, by its own description, is “the place to spill the juice about all the crazy stuff going on at your campus.” But unlike whispered rumors or folded class notes, students can gossip freely on Juicy Campus without fear of retribution. The site claims to be “totally anonymous—no registration, login, or email verification required.”

On Sept. 19, The Hoya editorial board called for a student boycott of the site, and urged university administrators to ban the Web address from the Georgetown network. (Three days earlier, the newspaper had run a news story hailing the debut of Juicy Campus at Georgetown).

Andy Pino, Director of Media Relations at Georgetown, says it's difficult to respond to a site that encourages anonymity. “This is a different animal,” says Pino. “I’d imagine there’s very little we can do about it, besides encouraging our students to be thoughtful about what they post online."

For four Georgetown students whose dirty laundry has been aired on the site—in the form of insult, flattery, satire, and neutral name-dropping—speaking out about how to deal with being juiced will have to be justice enough.

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Insult: E.g., “Biggest failure at life,” “wanna be eurotrash,” and “stinkiest pinks: whose pussy smells the worst.” Many posts of this type delve into particularly degrading territory, often of a sexual nature. Take “Hairiest Cunts,” a thread which reads, “Okay, we've all seen that girl who doesn't shave. Give names so we know who to avoid.” So far, the question has elicited four responses: three criticizing the thread, and one supplying a name.

When one Georgetown sophomore logged on to Juicy Campus last week, he found a one-line post insulting his appearance—and denigrating his significant other. In a Facebook message, the student condemned Juicy Campus: “[A]nonymously taking a shot at someone for their weight, sexuality, personality flaws, race, etc., is cowardly,” wrote the student, who wished to remain anonymous. “I've always lived by the ‘sticks and stones’ motto, but how can one be expected not to feel awful when an anonymous opinion is broadcasted to an entire student body.” Later, he adds, “I guess they should be proud for making people feel like shit. . . . Not only does the site need to go, the very people who ruined it need to go. They make the world a worse place to live.” After claiming that the derogatory comment written about him was “a joke” and “in good fun,” the student ends the message with a warning: “PLEASE KEEP ME ANONYMOUS. . . . or I'll put you on juicy campus. . . . haha thanks.”

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Flattery: E.g., “Cutest couple,” “Best Tits,” and “hot freshman chicks i want to bone.” Despite their ostensibly congratulatory nature, many posts of this type delve into particularly degrading territory, often of a sexual nature.

Georgetown senior Christina Capatides, 21, logged onto Juicy Campus when a friend informed her that her name had appeared on the site, in a post titled “Pussy Cat Doll.” The post reads, “whos the girl on campus that looks like the main singer from the Pussy Cat Dolls? has anyone hit that before?” In the comments, one respondent identifies Capatides by name: “you mean christina capatides?? too bad she's taken slick.”

Capatides says she has no idea who posted her name, and that she’s never before been compared to the girl group’s frontwoman, Nicole Scherzinger. “I thought it was a little shocking at first that my name was on it,” says Capatides of the throwaway celebrity comparison. “While it was complimentary . . . there are a lot of things on there that are hurtful. This time around, it’s a positive thing; next time, who knows.”

Though other responses to the Pussycat Doll thread include “she’s got big bewbs” and “dang. I'd nut all over her face in a heartbeat,” Capatides says she’s not bothered by the lewd comments, which she says are “not directed” at her. “As somebody else responded, ‘No, I don’t think it’s Christina, but she is hot,” explains Capatides.

The incidental name drop, though, has Capatides hooked. “My friends check it religiously these days . . . I check it more, to see what’s been written about me,” she says. Though Capatides doesn’t condone the negative posts on the site, she says that Juicy Campus’ appeal is too strong to resist. “I think everybody sort of has those reservations, but it’s just too interesting to hear about people you know on there,” she says. “People think it’s fascinating. It’s like a real-life version of Gossip Girl.”

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Satire: E.g., “Hottest Frenchman?” and “Premarital Handholding.” Some satirical posts mock the site’s conventions or campus culture; others, like “Bust nuts in ya curl,” lifted from a song by rapper E-40, are simply nonsense. One of the most pervasive forms of satire on the Georgetown site is a tactic called “Holtrolling.” Georgetown student blog Vox Populi describes the phenomenon:

Someone named Steve Holt (presumably not the real one) has been repeating that name all over the site. He/she tricks people into thinking they’re getting something “juicy”, then gives them the proverbial Holtroll. This makes reading Juicy Campus frustrating, as almost every thread is a Holtroll.

Georgetown senior Tom Hutton conceived his Juicy joke shortly after reading the Hoya coverage of Juicy Campus. “It was a spur-of-the-moment thing,” says Hutton. “It didn’t involve any sort of high-level thinking.” On Sept. 19, Hutton posted the thread, his first and only Juicy Campus contribution. It read: “Sean Baumann: Great Body or Greatest Body?”

Hutton, 22, explains the posting. “Sean’s a good friend of mine, and I just felt that by posting such a ludicrous thing—“does he have a great body, or the greatest body?”—he wouldn’t be offended by it. I thought that everyone would laugh at it because it’s funny, not because it was making fun of him,” says Hutton.

Hutton mediated the impact of the anonymous post by informing Baumann of the prank beforehand. “I joked about making the posting, and he said, ‘Yeah, go ahead. It will be funny,’” says Hutton.

Baumann, a 21-year-old Georgetown senior, voiced indifference to the post and its initial responses, which read, “Yeah, I agree. Greatest Body!” and “greatest-est.” Says Baumann, “I didn’t think anything of it, really. It’s just a joke. I don’t really care." When informed of more recent comments on the post, one reading “i heard he’s gay” and another “tiniest penis . . . so small,” Baumann voiced concern at the site’s negative trends. “I really don’t like it because it gives us a bad rep,” says Baumann. “I think there are a lot of things that are being said that aren’t good for the community. I’ve heard some terrible things,” he says, adding, “Mine’s funny; I’m not taking that personally.”

Hutton predicts that, as time goes on, Juicy Campus pranksters like himself will tire of the medium. “It was cool for a week, and now it’s just a Facebook that’s full of trash talk and slander,” says Hutton. “It’s going to lose its luster after a few months. It’s only going to be a site for slander, and it’s not going to have any of those funny jokes on it, like mine.”

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Neutral: In this Juicy Campus convention, the poster simply lists a student’s name and instructs respondents to “discuss.”

Last week, Juicy Campus visitors were asked to discuss Kaleta Blaffer, a 20-year-old sophomore; as of today, the post had 16 replies and had been viewed over 600 times. Most discussion of Blaffer concerned her hair. One commenter called Blaffer’s hairdo “full of secrets,” while others raised questions. “What's with the blowout?” asked one. “Did she go to prom with that thing on her head?” queried another. In response, the thread experienced a surge of Blaffer defenders: “do you all really have nothing more interesting to discuss than kaleta's hair?” one commenter wrote, adding: “also, it's clear that none of you have seen her recently!”

Blaffer discovered the post when tipped off to the Web site by a friend. “I’m kind of relieved that mine was just about my hair. I got off lucky,” she says. Though Blaffer says her “personal policy” is to never post on the site, she says she’s returned to Juicy Campus regularly since discovering her very own thread. “I want to see what was being written about me,” says Blaffer, who indicates that the coiffure comments were not entirely out of line. “I have a lot of volume,” she says.

Photo by Darrow Montgomery.