Andrew Sullivan crashed our servers this morning when he linked to our roundup of the baddest sexy Halloween costumes. The worst of the slutty holiday get-ups are generally reserved for the ladies. But surely, Sullivan deserves an awful sexy Halloween costume of his own, no? Thanks to 3Wishes.com, men don’t have to settle for lame penis joke costumes on Oct. 31: they, too, can join in the fun of inappropriate public erotica with the help of some greasy abs, a Chippendale bow-tie, and a whole lot of manpris.

First up: THE “SEXY FOOTBALL PLAYER”:

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It’s almost that time again: The one day of the year when women are allowed to express their true sexiness, and men are freed to dress like giant penis jokes. As Halloween approaches, costume manufacturers are struggling to produce new sexy/penis concepts to satisfy all the sexy/penis demands of sexy/penis-loving Americans. Sure, it’s refreshing to finally find an industry committed to producing low-quality merchandise meant to encourage women to be extremely sexy, and men to be sexually immature.

On the other hand: are there some Disney fish that should never be served up as a spandex mini-dresses? Is a spaghetti penis costume ever a good idea? And what happens when the guy with the gigantic plush phallus costume gets tipsy? The ten worst sexy costumes of 2009, after the jump.

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