Was Kater Gordon fired following a gay lawnmower pee accident?

Last week, Mad Men creator Matthew Weiner fired Emmy-winning writer Kater Gordon. The week before that, Late Night comedian David Letterman admitted to having sexual affairs with women on his staff. The week before that, film director Roman Polanski was finally detained after raping the 13-year-old model he had hired for a Vogue shoot. What do these incidents have in common? If you said “probably nothing,” you would be wrong!

Read More “Sexist Beatdown: Mad Men, Child Rape, and the Problem With Sex Speculation” »

The editor of the Towson University Towerlight resigned last week over controversies stemming from the newspaper’s sex column. In her resignation letter, Carrie Wood wrote that University President Robert Caret wrote her an “intimidating, patronizing and bullying” e-mail voicing concerns about the column’s servicey take on mutual masturbation.Wood responded to Caret’s missive with an e-mail which, Wood hedges, “made it look as if I was throwing my staff under the bus.” The Towerlight issued an editorial announcing that the “The Bed Post,” penned by anonymous, gender-indeterminate student called Lux, failed to live up to the paper’s editorial standards.

So, how bad was that masturbation column? And could it possibly be worse than ABC News’ completely nonsensical take on the controversy? Let’s take a look!

Read More “Journalism Fail: Student Masturbation Column Or ABC News?” »

College sex columns: So wrong, they’re . . . boring.

This week, the Nation’s Alex Dibranco declared that the college sex column represents “a radical progressive movement in the sense of pushing against traditional silence and the status quo.” That might have been true when sex columns first popped up on college campuses in 1996, but now, fucking and telling is a normal campus activity for radicals and right-wingers alike. At this point, simply rehashing your heterosexual, vanilla, and gender-role-informed Saturday night hook-up through the campus press does not a sexual revolution make—even if you publish under the pseudonym “Buster Darkhole.” Sady of Tiger Beatdown and I talk about where the student sex column should go from here.

References: George Washington University’s sex column, penned by “Mr. Darcy” and “Layla” [Exhibits A & B]; Georgetown University’s sex column, penned by Colleen Leahey [Exhibits C & D]; American University’s sex column, penned by “Amber Sparkles,” “Maxwell Hillcrest,” and our pal Buster [Exhibits E & F].

Read More “Sexist Beatdown: “Buster Darkhole” and the Conservative College Sex Column” »

This week, Catholic University newspaper the Tower reported that the Washington City Paper would no longer be made available on the school’s campus. In fact, the paper has been gone from the CUA campus since May 7th, the day that my story on CUA’s campus sex ban, Screw U: Inside the Secret Sex Life of Catholic University, was published.

That morning, a very nice man who identified himself only as a CUA employee called to tell me that the university was removing the paper from the campus racks. “I just wanted to bring that to your attention and let you know that really sucks, because I know for a fact there are a lot of staff members and students that love to read your paper, and especially for this article,” he said. ” Again, love your work, awesome, thanks so much for throwing that out there, and, we got a really great chuckle for it. I hope you don’t get in too much trouble. Take care of yourself.”

The Catholic University administration was less amused.

Read More “Catholic University Bans Sex On Campus, Newspapers Discussing Sex on Campus” »

When American University students returned to school this fall, student newspaper the Eagle greeted them with a warning. In a piece titled “Sex-perimentation defines Welcome Week,” three anonymous sex columnists presented a nightmare college sex scenario:

It’s three in the morning. You have it inside you right now. It kind of hurts. You’ve had one too many cups of jungle juice. You think his name is Andrew, but you’re not really sure. You thought you would never be that girl, but there you are, in your drunken haze.

You wake up the day after to an unfamiliar ceiling, some guy who smells like booze, AXE body spray and, well, something else. He wants to cuddle and you’re starting to think maybe this drunken hook-up [ ________ ].

Reader: How did the AU Eagle complete that sentence?

a. You’re starting to think maybe this drunken hook-up was rape.

b. You’re starting to think maybe this drunken hook-up was a product of society’s shaming of female sexuality, which encourages women to resort to dangerous, heavily intoxicated, and painful sex with strangers instead of openly pursuing empowered, respectful, and satisfying sexual experiences with desired sexual partners.

c. You’re starting to think maybe this drunken hook-up could turn into something.

Read More “You’re Drunk. It’s Inside You. It Kind of Hurts. Is It Rape?” »

Note to conservatives: No one is telling your grandmother that she deserves to die, but some are beginning to talk about whether or not she can have sex. That’s a good thing.

Marie-Therese Connolly wrote a fascinating article in the Washington Post yesterday about the problem of determining sexual consent among dementia patients. Connolly tells the story of a 96-year-old woman who accused her longtime gardener of raping her. The woman, who suffered from dementia, regularly wrote notes to herself as reminders of what’s happening in her life. In one note, she reminded herself that she had had sex:

Read More “In Defense of the Elderly “Sex Panel”” »

Things are heating up between rival oral sex novelty item marketers CockBib.com, which bills its product as “the original cock bib,” and CockBibCrazy.com, which claims to market the “Real CockBib.” Jon, CockBib.com proprietor, is familiar with CockBibCrazy’s work. He is not impressed. “I originally came up with the idea strictly as a gag gift, like the kinda things you would find at Spencers novelties,” Jon writes in an e-mail. ”He has turned our fun party gag gift into an offensive, rude, and degrading item.”

Read More “Original CockBib Inventor Finds Knock-Offs “Offensive, Rude, Degrading”” »

Last spring, I discovered the CockBib, an oral sex accessory for men who want a dryer blowjob. “The whole idea for cockbibs came to me right after I was pleased orally and realized,’Damn, I can’t just fall asleep, I need to get up and wash my balls,’” the device’s inventor explained on his Web site, CockBibCrazy.com. “I had just been a victim of another sloppy blowjob.”

As it turns out, CockBibCrazy’s proprietor was not the first martyr to the sloppy blowjob. Though CockBibCrazy.com was registered on March 13, 2009, a different CockBib outfit, CockBib.com, was registered all the way back on Dec. 22, 2008. At CockBib.com, a duo called Jon and Shan market what they call “the original cockbib.” When I wrote to CockBibCrazy for his thoughts on the “original” CockBib, he seemed unfazed by the competition. “I am sure you can see a big difference in the quality of our product and the time put into our site?” he wrote to me.

For once, CockBib guy was right. CockBib.com’s CockBib designs are even weirder than dick accessories “Caution: May Cause Trauma” and “Pussy Killer.” Let’s check ‘em out!

Read More “The Original CockBib: For Drunk Brides, Small Children, and Subaru Owners” »

The Centers for Disease Control is currently weighing whether to recommend the circumcision of boys and men in the United States. If the CDC finds that a circumcision recommendation would reduce the risk of HIV among American men, I think that’s swell. Providing people with information to help protect themselves from disease is a wonderful thing. But a CDC recommendation would likely come with one major adverse side-effect. For women who already find uncircumcised penises disgusting, wrong, or unfuckable, the recommendation will also provide more fuel for their ignorance.

Read More “Could a CDC Circumcision Recommendation Inspire More Penis Ignorance?” »

In 2001, Wilson Holland of West Palm Beach, Fla., attempted to patent a design for the first Universal Artificial Intelligence. According to Holland: “The Turing test is considered the high water mark of such a program.  It consists of an interrogator communicating blindly with a human and an Artificial Intelligence. If the interrogator can not distinguish the two then the Artificial Intelligence is Universal,” he writes. “This design is Universal. It will pass this test.”

In order to prove that his Artificial Intelligence could  master the “outer parameters of all possible human thought,” Holland presented a variety of common human interactions and demonstrated how the AI’s reasoning would operate under each circumstance.  All is well until we get to the “Reproduction” section, where we discover that this reasoning is not “Universal” so much as it is “Wilson Holland’s ill-informed heteronormative rants about women, rape, and HIV.” Let’s take a look:

WILSON HOLLAND’S POSSIBLE HUMAN SEX SCENARIO NUMBER 1, IN WHICH CHECKING OUT LADIES PROVES YOU’RE NOT IMPOTENT AND/OR GAY:

A male human is flipping through channels on a television. He stops on a channel which has a bathing suit commercial. He views the beautiful women wearing skimpy bathing suits.

Read More “When Artificial Intelligence Is Programmed By A Sexist Floridian” »