We here at the City Paper love Sarah Masterson. A couple weeks ago, I interviewed the DC BABY author and prolific kid blogger about her mommy issues and my fear of children. Well, Masterson was such a delightful interviewee that The Sexist asked her to check in on a regular basis—and the very, very busy Masterson graciously agreed. In the future, I hope to hash it out with her on women’s issues, local gender news, and—my particular area of non-expertise—parenting. Today, she dishes out advice to the Obamas for relocating to the District with Malia and Sasha in tow.

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In addition to my Sexist duties, I also write a little arts feature called “What’s Your Problem?,” which looks at the creative obstacles of local artists. This week, I probed the psyche of Sarah Masterson, author of the DC BABY books. Masterson has a lot of advice for parents in her books and on her blog. But she was more than happy to oblige when I asked her for some advice for people, like me, who are more child-fearing than child-rearing. Here, Masterson answers my pressing questions about fear and loathing in kid town.

I fear children. Will this ever go away?

You might learn to grudgingly adapt to nieces and nephews through a process of desensitization (if they’re exceptionally cute). But no, the fear is primal, permanent and justified—and it will never go away. That said, it’s astonishing how many child-fearing adults eventually end up as parents. Makes for some crazy kids, who come of age accustomed to lording over their deeply frightened minders.

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