My friends, stay with me tonight as I watch the third and final presidential debate—and the live-bloggers who live-blog it. That’s right, we’re live-blogging the live-bloggers here at The Sexist live blog. Who will offer the funniest/most inane commentary? Will it be Joe Curl of the Washington Times? Jim Newell at Wonkette? You, the people, twittering the night away? Stay tuned.

8:58 PM … The Washington Time has a slight edge by having a reporter live-blog from the actual debate, while Wonkette, in a stunning maverick move, looks to have decided on a squirrel theme. Good move.

9:02 PM … Silence on stage, but chatter in the blogosphere! An aimeefausser, practicing something called “twittering” (as far as I can tell, some sort of rustic artisan craft), chimes in with this analysis: “hahah john mccain looks like he wants to kick obama in the balls.” Thank you Internets.

9:05 PM … Ken Layne takes over at Wonkette: starts off with, ” It was super nice of McCain to loan Chris Matthews one of his old gay sweaters.” Zzzzzing!

9:06 PM … Curl, meanwhile, has the inside-the-debate scoop on Schieffer: “He just coughed, drank water, coughed again.” Bob Schieffer: A human!

Read More “DEBATE LIVE BLOG: Barack, John, and the Live-Bloggers Who Love Them” »

I know, I know: You don’t even want to watch the last debate. Sure, you were feeling pretty good after the first one; everything seemed so new and exciting! But then there was that vice presidential unpleasantness, and last week you found yourself whiling away your Tuesday evening with Barack and John at Town Hall Debate Nap Hour. Now, you’re not even sure you have the strength to flip on the television, much less follow an entire twitterverse of live-blogged opinions.

So join us tonight for the Sexist’s live-blog live blog, where we live-blog your live blogs for you! (Hear that, Google? We’re live-blogging!) This evening, watch the debate with us as we rate the live blogs of your favorite Washington live-bloggers, from the sarcastic leftist live-bloggings of Wonkette (rumored to have carried on domestic terrorist affair with Bill Ayers) to the hard-hitting right-wing catchphrase recycled live-bloggers over at the Washington Times (once caught attempting to nail Jello to a wall). Bonus: The best and worst of the twitter pile (I’m looking at you, Fishbowl D.C.)!

Stay tuned to The Sexist around 9 p.m. EST for all your live-blog needs. Live blog.

My father, a Barack Obama supporter, compares the final presidential debate to the last quarter of a sports game: Now that his candidate appears on the verge of victory, all he can do is watch on as he horribly squanders it all at the last minute. So this final debate drinking game is for those Obama supporters knocking furiously on wood, crossing their fingers, and still wearing their unwashed “Barack Obama Is My Homeboy” T-shirt from last year. It’s also for those John McCain supporters holding out for an improbable Cinderella story win, wherein McCain feigns a pitch to catch Obama stealing a base, then Palin comes in to sack Joe Biden while McCain fakes left and swishes the half-court shot at the buzzer for the T.K.O. Drink!

The game kicks off tonight at 9 p.m. EST at Hofstra University in Hempstead, NY. I’ll be live-blogging the debate on the City Paper website starting then.

TAKE A DRINK FOR EVERY OBAMA AIRBALL:

- Obama says “that’s not change, that’s more of the same”
. . . adds in “yes we can” for good measure [x2]
- Obama says “John McCain is right . . .”
- Obama calls McCain by wrong name
. . . or calls Michelle by wrong name [x2]
- Obama appears to have recently received botox injection
. . . plus collagen [x2]
- Obama trips
- Obama unable to name Supreme Court case
- Obama swears [finish your drink]
- Obama admits he is, in fact, Muslim [finish two drinks]
- Obama admits he is, in fact, domestic terrorist [finish all drinks, everywhere]

TAKE A DRINK FOR EVERY MCCAIN HAIL MARY PASS:

- McCain refers to self as “maverick”
- McCain accuses Obama of lying
- McCain mentions Sarah Palin
- McCain mentions Bill Ayers
- McCain himself makes sports metaphor
. . . McCain makes any nonsensical metaphor [x2]
- McCain smiles without creeping you out
- McCain laughs without creeping you out [x2]
- McCain emerges as pro-choice [finish your drink]
- McCain appears to regard wife Cindy with love and mutual respect [finish two drinks]
- McCain removes mask to reveal he is, in fact, Barack Obama [drink all brain matter exploded onto television set]

Photo by Latente.

Presidential candidates—remember them? Now that the dust has settled on the Palin/Biden debate, they’re back to bore you again with their conservative man-suits and less-sassy cries of “maverick.” In order to mix it up a bit for the viewer, tonight’s debate, held at Nashville’s Belmont University, will be in a “Town Hall” Q & A format. Tom Brokaw will moderate questions from citizens chosen by the Gallup organization. One Nashville resident, writing on Daily Kos, cries foul on the whole “town hall” idea: “This just takes place in our town,” he writes, “making it is as much a part of our town as Guantanamo Bay is of Cuba.”

Hmm. I’m betting your question wouldn’t have been at the top of their list anyway, friend.

Citizens of America Town who chose to play along with the convention have already filed their burning questions through MySpace.com, but even those who missed the submission deadline can stay relevant by drinking the talking points away. In the grand tradition of The Sexist’s Vice Presidential Debate Drinking Game, here’s your guide to taking the edge off at Town Hall.

Enough about the Maverick and the Dreamer—this drinking game is about Joe Six-Pack. Viewers, please turn your attention to the folks asking the questions. Feel free to rely on sweeping assumptions based on appearance and/or accent.

DRINK IF THE CURIOUS AMERICAN CITIZEN APPEARS TO BE:

- Angry
- “Concerned”
- Dumb
- Hipster
. . . visibly disheveled [x2]
- Hot
- Mom
. . . with a child in the military [x2]
- Mulletted
- Nervous
- Older than John McCain
. . . hard of hearing [x 2]
. . . + unable to correctly use a microphone [finish your beer]
- Ponytailed
. . . dude [x 2]
- Self-righteous
- Southern
- Star-struck
. . . crush on Obama [x 2]
- Younger than Sarah Palin
. . . younger than you [x your age]
- Unemployed
- Union worker
- Veteran
- Wealthy

FINISH YOUR BEER IF YOUR FELLOW AMERICAN APPEARS TO BE:

- Someone you know
- Pregnant
- Insane

For those who’d prefer to read with their television: Starting at 9 p.m., I’ll be live-blogging the debate over on CityDesk, a City Paper blog so frighteningly close to The Sexist I can almost see it from my own backyard.

Photo—The War of Wealth by C.T. [Charles Turner] Dazey—courtesy of trialsanderrors.