Abstinence is Out: What Little Girls Should Pledge Instead

Little girls who recently pledged their abstinence until marriage: I’ve got bad news and I’ve got good news. The bad news is that some study just came out saying those pledges don’t work. As it turns out, girls who pledge to stay chaste—even those who ensure their virginity through collectible tween-sized silvercrafts or ornate pre-prom daddy-daughter purity balls—are having sex anyway (that’s the good news).

Conservatives are up in arms about the implications this study has on the sex lives of you girls—oh no, they’re totally doing it, and not to have babies! But what of the deeper psychological compulsion this study has exposed in daddies and daughters alike: The need to pledge?

Sure, I’ve pledged. I’ve pledged plenty. And some of those pledges I’ve even kept! In high school, I put on a pair of Beer Goggles and pledged not to drink and drive to Prom in hopes of winning a raffle for a $100 Fashion Square mall gift certificate. These are the best types of pledges—ones with time limits and cash prizes.
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