In response to my break-down of all the ways that Playboy tried to get a look at Olivia Munn's areola, Zelda Lily's Sarah Arboleda submits, instead, that Munn is perhaps just a lying, bitchy idiot with a bad publicist who regularly "flaunts" her "female sexuality" and thus deserves only our mockery. Arboleda:

Let’s say Playboy called you up and asked you to be their cover model. Would you be shocked and disgusted to learn that they expect you to be naked in the pages of a magazine that has specialized in nude photos for over fifty years? Really? I’m a vegetarian. It’s like if I walk into a restaurant called “Joe’s House of Meat” and demand to know why Joe doesn’t have tofu stir-fry on the menu. I don’t walk into places called “Joe’s House of Meat.” If Olivia Munn wants to keep all of her clothes on, she probably shouldn’t agree to pose for Playboy.

. . . let me get this straight: an enormous contract was drawn up where every detail of your exposed flesh was pre-approved up to and including the crack of your ass, and your agent or manager was not on-set to make sure that this lengthy and thorough contract was honored? Really? If that’s the case, why bother with the contract at all? Either Miss Munn is lying, or she really needs new people.

. . . why does the model/fake news correspondent capitalize so heavily on her female sexuality? Take, for instance, the cover of Suck It, Wonder Woman. More to the point, which of Munn’s career moves have not somehow capitalized on her sexuality? . . . The easy answer is that Munn wants it both ways. She wants to be able to flaunt her junk for money and fame, but is outraged when people claim that she’s only famous and rich because she flaunts her junk.

Some context: Previously, Arboleda had called Munn out for making rape jokes, fat jokes, and jealous-bitches jokes. Fair enough. In the same post, Arboleda also dismissed Munn as a "bikini-clad" "Maxim model with bad comedic timing" whose career is "such blatant pandering for money and male attention that it borders on distasteful, even sexist." Hmm. And then there was this: "what I dislike about Munn is that her guy’s girl routine is so clearly an act. If it were genuine, it would be fine."

I get it. We live in a world where flaunting your junk, bashing other women, and acting the guy's-girl is a pretty effective strategy for getting ahead for a very small group of women, and that is sexism at work. But the solution is not to take the women who manage to squeeze some personal benefits out of that sexism and to tear them down in the most sexist ways possible. Believe it or not, even women who make careers out of "pandering" to this system are themselves constantly battling misogyny—they're cut down for wearing bikinis, ridiculed for having personal limits as to how their bodies are used, and called "bitches" for not being sufficiently grateful for their role. And until we start turning our attention to all those men who get "famous and rich" by "flaunting" their "male sexuality" in order to "pander" for "female attention," we've got a major social problem here—not an Olivia Munn problem.

Feminism has to be for all women. Even women you think are stupid, naive, or "tragically unfamiliar with the content of Playboy." Even women who walk into the wrong room. Even women with bad publicists. Even women with no publicists. Even women who expect professional photographers and stylists to honor professional contracts without question. Even women who have lied. Even women who have bashed other women. Even women who you think have capitalized on their "female sexuality." Even women who "flaunt [their] junk for money and fame." Even women with cleavage on the cover of books. Even women who sometimes wear bikinis. Even women who don't perform all of these feats of "female sexuality" naturally, even women from whom it's all "an act." Even women you think are bitches. Even women who talk about it.

Sure, most women don't rise to the top of this system like Munn has. But we all participate in it in some way—we've all denigrated other women, or "flaunted" our "female sexuality," or put on some sort of feminine "act" in order to get by. And if that means that we all deserve anything that's coming to us, then that's it for feminism. So let's keep our focus on the institutions that really benefit from this—the ones that are so reliably misogynist, coercive, and plain skeevy that our knee-jerk reaction is to blame women for even discussing how misogynist, coercive, and skeevy they are. Because Munn has provided us the Hot Girl's view from the top, and it looks like a lot of stuffing phallic objects in your mouth and fighting off men who want your nipples, until you get too old and are replaced.

Photo via Gage Skidmore, Creative Commons Attribution License 2.0

THE FLASHER:

The Flasher costume, on-sale at ZoogerCostumes.com for the low price of $32.99, features a "male-themed flesh-colored jumpsuit with attached black overcoat." "Male-themed" is an interesting euphemism for "dick the size of my arm," so kudos for that, Zooger Costumes!

Which of the following characteristics can we assume about the guy who actually wears this costume to your Halloween party:

a) He wasn't invited

b) He actually wears those loafers with those socks

c) Even after several dozen surprise revelations of his hilariously gigantic stuffed phallus, he will still think it's hilarious

d) He'll start rubbing the fake penis against all the girls at the party in about 5 seconds

e) He's always gotten off on the idea of flashing strangers, but has always been self-conscious about size

e) He has a real erection under his fake erection

Check out this baby: the Barack Obama shaped dildo you never knew you didn't want! This "Official Obama Pleasure Toy," dubbed the "Head O State," stands 7.5 inches tall, measures two inches in diameter, weighs 14 ounces, and a bunch of other specifications I do not wish to know how the manufacturers decided upon. I didn't think that anyone could make Obama so unsexy, but it turns out anything is possible.