The annual documentary film festival Silverdocs hits D.C. again this week. For the City Paper's coverage of this year's Nordic-heavy offerings, I reviewed Regretters, a documentary which unfolds as a long talk between two men who underwent sex-change operations to become female only to immediately regret the loss of their penises. Its accusatory title aside, the film is less about the tragic indecisiveness of a couple of transgender people than it is about the desperation of homophobia and misogyny, the complexity of gender, and all the social expectations that come with a set of genitalia. Read the rest of the review here.

EUPHEMISM: "Baby Leg."

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DEFINING MOMENT: I swear I heard a rapper threaten to hit a woman with his "baby leg" in a song on the radio last night. I couldn't find the track to confirm that, but I did find Sporty Thievz' "Fuck I Look Like," which employs the turn of phrase this way: "I get crazy head, on the crazy reg.  She say my dick thick like a baby leg."

LITERALLY: According to Wikipedia, a "baby" is a "term used to refer to the very young offspring of humans," while a "leg" is defined as "a weight bearing animal structure used for locomotion." In other words, it's an extremely, extremely gross anatomical feature to convert into a euphemism for . . .

UNDERLYING MEANING: . . . a large penis. Urban Dictionary defines "baby leg" in terms both sexual and non. A "baby leg" can apparently signify a "really, really big joint," but the euphemism's central interpretation is "a large penis or dick."

Aside from "Fuck I Look Like" and the elusive radio jam, I can't find any other songs that employ the term "baby leg" to refer to either genitalia or marijuana. English pop singer Jonatahan Pop Levi's song, "(A Style Called) Cryin' Chic," does make reference to a "baby's leg": "She made him whimper, made him beg/ I had to shoot my baby's leg," he sings. But the meaning here is quite different from that of Sporty Thievz: The leg in the lyric is literal, and the "baby" is used not to gauge the size of one's penis, but rather as a "term of endearment, usually used by people having sexual intercourse with one another."

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Last week, readers theorized as to why art students avoid drawing the penises of nude models. Both David Quammen and John Hammack attest to students avoiding their genitalia by inserting an obscuring shade or a set of imaginary shorts over their crotches. Is homophobia and sexual repression to blame, or is free penis sketching a matter of training and experience? Discuss.

Amy says a drawing of the hand is easier than that of the bush:

having been an artist in a figure drawing class, I can tell you that the ‘tender parts’ tend to be just as difficult to draw as a hand (especially if you’re circumcised). Perhaps more difficult than a hand. I can practice drawing hands from observation by looking at my left hand, but only the guys in class can practice drawing male junk without a model—and even that they can’t practice while doodling in their notebooks during other classes.

So the avoidance of drawing your tender parts may be less shyness than lack of ability.

Stephen Kosciesza says he routinely gets snipped:

Amy, funny you say that about “it” being hard to draw, “especially if [we're] circumcised” I’ve been a model for 15 years. I’m an uncircumcised man. And I’ve seen it over and over: in college age classes, the young women tend to draw my “it” circumcised. I have to wonder if they’re not comfortable actually looking at “it” (especially on an older man), and they draw what they expect. And of course, here in the USA, if you haven’t seen many, there’s a good chance you’ve only seen circumcised.

PL suggests that the penis is "taboo":

I can appreciate that Mr. Quammen might attribute an amateur male artists reluctance to work with a male models to homophobia. However, it would seem to me that this is using a rather broad brush. There could be several reasons that amateur male artists are not comfortable with depicting male models, probably the most reasonable being that depiction of male genitalia in popular and modern culture is practically taboo.

I would suggest to Ms. Hess that she could have been more careful in illustrating that it is Mr. Quammen’s opinion that she is reflecting, and that not all male artists that have struggled to attempt to depict male models suffer from homophobia.

Saurs disagrees:

“There could be several reasons that amateur male artists are not comfortable with depicting male models, probably the most reasonable being that depiction of male genitalia in popular and modern culture is practically taboo.”

Yeah, the phallus as an architectural shape, for example, is so seldom used, I’ve forgotten what they look like.

Jon explains what "homophobia" is:

PL, Mr. Quammen is using the real definition of homophobia, not the more popular but incorrect definition (not liking gays). Homophobia is pretty much exactly what is described in the article, not wanting to draw or look at male junk (if you are male) basically being uncomfortable looking at or being close to those who are the same sex as you.

Stephen Kosciesza insists that genital avoidance is no homo(phobia):

I’ve been a male art model for 15 years. I suppose you might say that I’m a charter member of the Guild. I believe that explaining a man’s reluctance to draw a nude male model—and to draw a penis—as “homophobia” is just way too simplistic.

Nudity among non-intimates is something that most people in our society are not used to, and there’s bound to be discomfort and uncertainty at first. I’m sure many men AND many women feel some nervousness and discomfort when faced with drawing from the live nude model for the first time. No doubt, the nature of that discomfort would depend first on who they are themselves. And then it would likely depend on whether the model happened to be of their sex or of the opposite one.

A woman might very well feel awkward drawing the nude man in front of her, too. And a man might feel uncomfortable the first time actually looking at the nude woman modeling in front of him.

It’s human nature, and as with everything about human nature, there’s rarely one, simple explanation. And since when we’re talking about human nature, we’re talking about individuals, generalizations are noteworthy mainly for their exceptions.

I think to boil male reluctance to draw the male nude as homophobia is way too easy and dismissive an answer.

Adrienne:

Stephen K, it’s human nature to feel uncomfortable with the human body? Really? It seems to me a clear case of the exact opposite, of a reflection of how societal constructs and expectations actually inhibit true “humanity” (whatever that is).

There’s no “natural” reason for men to be uncomfortable with the sight of a nude male body. I wouldn’t go as far as to say every man who is uncomfortable is homophobic (I don’t think the article was saying that, either) but there is an idea pervasive among many in US culture that for a man to look at another man’s body is “gay” and therefore wrong. We don’t have a cultural space for the appreciation of the male form as a work of art (certainly not like, say, the ancient Greeks), so to see a nude male body is jarring for many people. The biological penis has so much cultural weight as a tool of sex that it’s hard for a lot of people to get out of that mindset, and for some men this manifests as homophobia.

This is the exact opposite of “human nature” which, if anything, would dictate that people be, by default, comfortable with nude bodies of all genders.

I know we probably agree on a lot of this (being uncomfortable with nude men not being an exclusively male trait) but it bugs me when people bring out “human nature” to justify/explain away behavior that is actually learned and socially constructed.

Sketch, with penis intact, by Keli Anaya

Vajazzling, the latest trend in Swarovski crystal vaginal bejewelment, debuted on the national vaginal stage this January. And somehow, it has not yet retreated to the dark recesses of minor celebrity Jennifer Love Hewitt's panties, from which it came. Vajazzling has reinvigorated Hewitt's celebrity ("It shined like a disco ball"). Vajazzle specialists are popping up everywhere ("Aww, c’mon, this is gonna be great by the time you’re all done Vajazzling!”). Vajazzling has even caused one man, who we will call Jason, to look directly at a vagina ("It’s mesmerizing . . . This is probably the longest I’ve ever stared at a vagina").

In this edition of Sexist Beatdown, Sady Doyle of Tiger Beatdown and I discuss the latest trends in Vajazzling (vajazzle your vagina in the shape of a vagina!), why some men who like putting their penises inside vaginas are adamantly opposed to any other aspect of vaginas, and vajazzling's inevitable male counterpart: Dickerating.

SADY: I have to tell you, to see you here today is as dazzling a sight as a gloriously bejeweled vagina!

AMANDA: Ah, yes. A butterfly bejeweled vagina or a kitten bejeweled vagina? For vaginas come in many forms of bejewelery.

SADY: I myself am having my vagina bejeweled with the face of Biggie Smalls.

AMANDA: From what I understand, the only shape in which you can not bejewel a vagina is the shape of a vagina, as I suspect the motivation of Vajazzling is to distract from the idea that the vagina is there, and it is in fact a vagina.

SADY: RIGHT? Like, I mean: I hate to be a jerk here, but if you need my vagina to dress up for this party, my suspicion is that it is not going to be much of a party. Not to be all second-wave, but the continuing impulse to make ladyparts look less like themselves and more like gifts you would get from your dingier variety of novelty shop, next to the lava lamps, bespeaks some ill to me.

AMANDA: The good news is that for the most part I think everyone believes this to be a ludicrous practice. Then again, I have not rolled with Jennifer Love Hewitt's posse, so I may not be aware of the full scope of opinions on how much a woman's vagina ought to look like the back of a 7th grade girl's cell phone.

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SADY: Right. I mean: I think "Vajazzling," much like Chat Roulette or the Sex & the City bus tour of New York, is one of those things that everybody writes about because no-one actually thinks it is a good idea. And yet... there are people on Chat Roulette? And I don't know, man. Like: I talk to girls about their Maintenance Routines, and it seems like there is always some new and trendy way to deal with what is going on there.

AMANDA: There are people who can write from experience: "Then we had sex, and none of the crystals fell off."

SADY: WHY SHOULD YOU HAVE TO THINK ABOUT THAT AT SUCH A MOMENT????????

AMANDA: Yeah. And there's not a ton of self-reflection going on there. Even the most obvious of questions—like, Why am I bedazzling my vagina? And why has the dude I'm casually dating suddenly taken an interest in my genitalia?—are not being asked.

SADY: Right? Like, "Jason"—oh, Jason—is complimenting her with "this is the longest I've ever stared at a vagina." And given that Jason has grown up in our modern, pornographically-enabled age, I... doubt that this is the case, actually? But it might be the longest he's ever stared at HER vagina, and maybe that is the real issue here, you know?

AMANDA: Perhaps it is the closest he has gotten to like, putting his face close enough to maybe put his mouth on it?

SADY: "Sweetheart! I just noticed that there's something down there! Have you taken a look at this, because it's really wild!"

AMANDA: It is like people who bleach their assholes. How can you recover from an asshole-bleaching session and not wonder what the deal is with you requiring your asshole to be bleached?

SADY: Right. Like: I won't put bleach in my eye. FOR ANYONE. I don't care if you write me beautiful sonnets, if you are also like "and ah, the way you make me sigh / please stick some bleach into your eye," the answer is STILL NO. And I really don't think your asshole should be negotiable territory for bleaching EITHER. But what it reminds ME of, to take an even more extreme example, is that operation where you get your Business SURGICALLY CUT UP to be more attractive? "Labiaplasty!" It is a thing! And people do it! And then a year later their boyfriends or whatever STILL FEAR THE VAGINA so they have to make it look like a My Little Pony with vajazzling, I guess.

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AMANDA: I just wonder why they still want to put their dicks in it? I mean, take the anal bleaching example—you're basically making your anus look less like an anus, so that your partner who enjoys placing their penis in your anus can do so without thinking about the fact that it's actually a real functioning asshole? Same with all these guys who claim to enjoy Tab-A-in-slot-B old fashioned heterosexual sex which includes sticking penises in vaginas, but who hate vaginas, actually, because they are icky. How do they rationalize those thoughts?

SADY: I have no idea. I mean: I do think it has got to be a fear thing. (JASON'S INTERNAL MONOLOGUE: "Okay, champ, this is going great, but whatever you do just don't look down! If you see the vagina, you'll panic! Play it COOL, MAN.") But also we need to note that although there ARE cosmetic procedures for penises, of the more or less invasive variety... nobody's really requiring dudes (with penises) to invest in them, you know?

AMANDA: Yeah. My theory: Sexual repression + Capitalism + Sexism = Vajazzling

SADY: Right. It's this very basic deal, as expressed by the fact that the Washington Monument is not an ovoid hollow in the ground, whereby penises are super and vaginas, although necessary, are basically H.R. Giger shit that would freak any reasonable person out. So you have to make them... like, really, REALLY infantilized, like to the extent of making them pink and sparkly and Lisa Frank binder-looking, to signify that they are female in the "harmless" sense rather than the "oh my God aaaaiiiiieeeeeeee" sense.

AMANDA: I am interested to know what a penis would look like if men were instructed to groom their penises so as to make them look less like penises.

SADY: Top hats? Draw a smiley face on it? I don't know. I know you're not putting crystals on that business any time soon. But when I start my new Dickerating business we'll find out.

AMANDA: I understand the crystals may not adhere to the male penis for a sufficient period of time. But there are places where our genital situations are not so different. So ... why aren't men encouraged to wax off all of their pubic hair?

SADY: Well, some are! But I've known girls who have expressed the idea that for a man to do so would be a sign of His Secret Gayness, and thereby a dealbreaker. I mean, why aren't men expected to shave their armpits? Hair is manly. For MEN.

AMANDA: So I just Googled the phrase "manlier penis"

SADY: OH GOOD. I ALWAYS KNEW IT WOULD COME TO THIS.

AMANDA: And I came across a Web site which suggests that men who want to visually lengthen the penis might want to trim their pubic hair, in order to create an illusion of sorts.

SADY: Wow. It's like pulling a rabbit out of a hat!

AMANDA: HOWEVER, "the ladies may want a manlier penis ‘ so to speak ‘ and this comes with pubic hair." Someday, when we achieve full gender equality, washed up male actors will write books about illusory pubic hair techniques.

SADY: You know, I don't necessarily NEED to have that much information about Freddie Prinze, Jr.? And yet, like you, I look forward to that day!

Photo via Dawn Ashley, Creative Commons Attribution License 2.0

If your boobs could talk, what would they say? According to this proposed ad campaign for Durex condoms, your boobs would likely say . . . "boobs":

. . . at least, that's what German designer Andrej Kranhe thinks your boobs would say. Other strange sexual insights gleaned from Kranhe's "Type Sex With Durex" ads:

Girls orgasm in mythological afterlives:

When you have sex, does your body feel as if it has been transported to:

a) Elysium, the ancient Greek underworld that housed the "final resting place of the souls of the heroic and the virtuous"?

b) Valhalla, the mythological Norse afterworld where dead soldiers dine in an "enormous hall . . .  ruled over by the god Odin"?

c) Zion, the Jewish promised land?

If not, you're probably a dude:

According to the ad, when boys have sex, their penises turn into brains, and their brains turn into:

Yeah . . . nothing. According to the ad, when boys are busy sticking their "brains" into a lady's "Valhalla," they are incapable of reacting to outside stimuli, processing information, or reasoning.

You just ate a bunch of fruit:

At least, that's what I think that means.

Performing oral sex on a man makes a woman's brain feel "dainty":

. . . and her throat feel "TASTY"!

When boys do manage to think thoughts during sex, the thought is, "this sucks":

Girls, meanwhile, are experiencing shuddering, quaking boob orgasms. However, they are privately traumatized by this:

Her body's saying "orgasm wave," but her mind is saying "paralyzed, confused, embarrassed." Hmm. I wonder what kind of "Type Sex With Durex" this one is?

Last year, we delved into the world of 7orbetter.com, an online dating network that caters to men with long penises—and the men and women who love them. Recently, a reader wrote in to ask if there exists any similar service for men with genitals on the opposite end of the ruler. He writes:

Hello Amanda, I recently read your article about this website and wondered if you found any others with the opposite slant.  I think the concept is great in that you do know up front.  As an alternative are there any sites that also advertise size but not focused on the larger variety of men.  I guess what I am getting at is getting the whole "size" question out of the way early so there is no disappointment when things are revealed.  A girl may not want a 7 incher but a 4 incher may also be unacceptable.

I'm not an expert on genitally-themed dating sites myself, so I reached out to my sole contact in the field of penis-length marketing: 7orbetter.com creator Steven Pasternack.

"As far as I know there are no sites devoted to men with a small penis," he writes. However, Pasternack does foresee some room for his own large penis dating site to expand to smaller sizes in the future. "I had played with the idea of allowing men with all penis sizes on 7orbetter but it sort of detracts from the marketing angle of men with 7" or better in size," he writes. "As the site becomes more established I will probably open it up for everyone eventually, but by itself I do not see a very marketable site that is devoted only to men with small penises."

7orbetter.com's bias in favor of larger-than-average penises is no secret—after all, we're not dealing with "7orlonger.com" here. I imagine that this "marketing angle" attracts two demographics: Discriminating ladies and gentlemen who are solely interested in men with big dicks, and guys who want a forum to brag about the size of their cocks. 7orbetter.com, in other words, is the perfect spot for hooking up shallow penis-seekers and conceited penis-holders. They're perfect for one another.

A site like, say, "4orsmaller.com" would struggle to tap into such a cosmic dynamic. I'd like to think that some men and women would be attracted to a guy with the self-confidence to stand up in an Internet forum and say, "My penis is smaller than the average penis. Now, on to my various hobbies and personality quirks." However, I doubt that those same men and women would want to restrict their online dating opportunities to a Web site specifically themed around shorter-than-average-penises. I imagine that men interested in advertising their genitalia on such a site might be better off finding an understanding sex partner the old fashioned way—real-life trial-and-error.

Photo by Darrow Montgomery

This week, it was revealed that accused Mary Landrieu phone-tapping conspirator Stan Dai, 24, was once a promising aspiring playwright. In 2004, while a student at the George Washington University, Dai penned a dramatic piece entitled "The Penis Monologues" for campus conservative newspaper The Patriot.

In the great anti-feminist tradition of college-aged male Republicans, there have been many "The Penis Monologues." Over the years, dozens of these men have been brave enough to bare the innermost thoughts concerning their genitalia. Mainly: "Wahhh! Why is 'The Vagina Monologues' only about vaginas! Pay attention to my penis!"

Having trouble paying suitable tribute to every 20-something Republican dude's genitals? A quick primer on the many "The Penis Monologues," after the jump:

"The Penis Monologues," 1990's, by Penn State student Jason Cassidy.

Penis Insight: According to student newspaper the Daily Collegian, "'One monologue is about a guy—after having sex he tries to pee but he can't control his penis so he's peeing all over this girl's bathroom and eventually pees on the girl,' [explained one] performer . . . At the end of the show, each performer will make one last appearance clad in just his underwear. He will then tell the audience his favorite nickname he has heard for a penis and make different orgasm sounds."

Anti-Feminist Ire: "A guy wrote a script that's kind of mocking Vagina Monologues—well it's more so a response to The Vagina Monologues," a performer told the Collegian. "He put together a series of monologues performed by all men. It's all about sex, masturbation, peeing and all of the crude testosterone things guys talk about."

—

"The Penis Monologues," 2002, by Oregon State University student David Rapoza.

Penis Insight: Due to a birth defect (?), David Rapoza's penis is incapable of gaining your consent (or something?):

So I thought about my penis. I'm positive he'd sport a black leather trench coat and titanium sunglasses. He's got a terrible case of Keannu-envy. He'd also drive a Beamer while head-banging to the harmony of 'NSYNC. What does he say? Nine times out of 10, he begs for more attention. Yeah, he's demanding like that. The tenth time out of 10, he asks you to repeat yourself. He lost his ears during the third trimester and sometimes has trouble reading your lips.

Anti-Feminist Ire: Um: "Bobbitt has become a trendsetter. A firestorm of insane copycats rages after the spark of her famous gender-war crime. According to Time Magazine, over a hundred cases have been documented in Thailand alone. The penis is a symbol of power. Cut the symbol off, and what do men have left to rule you with? Their brains? Ha! This must be the rationale supporting penis decapitation."

—

"The Penis Monologues," 2004, by George Washington University student Stan Dai.

Penis Insight: "MY PENIS IS ANGRY!!!!!!! You want to know what happened to my penis? Joan happened to my penis! There I was, sleeping peacefully when Joan stormed in and dragged me out for 'an educational program.' I thought was going to see Mr. Rogers! But nooooooo! It turned out to be the 'Whine-gina Monologues!'"

Anti-Feminist Ire: From the piece's Editor's Note: "What are these vaginas angry about? Tampons, thong underwear, and gynecologists. Shouldn't feminists be more concerned with encouraging women to go to the gynecologist to prevent cervical, uterine, and breast cancer (which, of course, are the fault of evil repressive men)? Why must the only reference to the sanctity of motherhood be given to a lesbian couple? Can't men be more than just sperm donors and rapists in a feminist's world? Justice Blackmun doesn't even get a shout-out!"

—

"The Penis Monologues," 2005, by Roger Williams University College Republicans.

Penis Insight: In order to combat a presentation of the Vagina Monologues on campus, Roger Williams College Republicans constructed a gigantic penis, dubbed "Testaclese." From the National Review:

''Testaclese' tipped the scales when he approached the university Provost, Edward J. Kavanagh, outside the student union. Apparently taking him/it for a giant mushroom, Provost Kavanagh cheerfully greeted him. But when Testaclese presented him with an honorary award as a campus 'Penis Warrior,' the stunned official realized that it was no mushroom. After this incident, which was recorded on videotape, the promoters of P-Day were ordered to cease circulating their flyers and to keep Testaclese off campus grounds. Mindful of how school officers had never once protested any of the antics of Vagina warriors, the P-warriors did not comply. The Testaclese costume was then confiscated and formal charges followed.

Anti-Feminist Ire: According to the National Review, "Unhappily, P-Day may be the only effective means of countering V-Day with all its c-fests, graphic lollipops, intrusive questionnaires, outsized effigies of vaginas and its thematic anti-male play."

—

"The Penis Monologues," 2006, by University of Rhode Island student Chris Ferdinandi [Update: not a Republican!]

Penis Insight: Chris Ferdinandi discovers the shocking secret of the "Penis Monologues"—that there's nothing progressive about a bunch of guys talking about their dicks:

So how about it, guys? Feel liberated? Yeah, me neither. I could go on and on with more examples: stories about men circle-jerking as they learn how to enjoy their penises together; a lament about all the injustices committed against penises—'turn and cough,' ungroomed women, kung-fu grip; me shouting the word dick louder and louder to free the word from its negative social connotations.

Anti-Feminist Ire: Surely, the feminists are to blame for this. "But honestly, none of that does anything to express the true value of manhood and masculinity. If anything, it reduces men to their genitals, and it's quite obvious that The Monologues does the same thing to women. Ironically, that's something they accuse men of doing to them on a fairly regular basis."

Photo via Sundve, Creative Commons Attribution License 2.0

The Centers for Disease Control is currently weighing whether to recommend the circumcision of boys and men in the United States. If the CDC finds that a circumcision recommendation would reduce the risk of HIV among American men, I think that's swell. Providing people with information to help protect themselves from disease is a wonderful thing. But a CDC recommendation would likely come with one major adverse side-effect. For women who already find uncircumcised penises disgusting, wrong, or unfuckable, the recommendation will also provide more fuel for their ignorance.

Women who shun uncircumcised penises has always struck me as short-sighted. These are the women who will glibly deem their sex partner's genitalia unacceptable if, several decades ago, his parents did not predict her sexual preferences and subject him to newborn penis surgery accordingly. Sound familiar? We're women. We know what it's like to be unfairly judged on impossible physical standards! And yet, even women who are well-informed about sex—women who like it, talk openly about it, and even get paid to write about it—are keeping the genital snubbing alive.

Yesterday, the Frisky's Annika Harris wrote: "Uncircumcised penises repulse and scare me, so my sons are getting cut whether it’s PC or not." And she writes for a sex blog.

On the Simple Life, Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie laughed over catching sight of some uncircumcised dick at a nudist beach, with Richie calling uncircumcised penises "fucking disgusting." And they're Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie.

In circumcision documentary Partly Private, a woman on a Sex and the City bus tour announced that "Ninety-nine percent of women in America would be shocked if they got in bed with someone and they were like: Oh! Huh!" (Watch her genital superiority, above, at the 1:33 mark). And she was standing outside of a sex toy shop while paying homage to a television show almost exclusively devoted to having sex with men. Note that this woman doesn't just express her extreme dislike of uncircumcised penises—she attempts to justify her position by extending the disgust to her entire gender. In the Sex and the City's circumcision episode, incidentally, the girls' penis preferences were split about 50-50.

Whenever I've encountered women like this—women who find uncircumcised penises inherently gross—various medical statistics will doubtlessly be raised in defense of their penis discrimination. Uncircumcised penises, they'll say, have a higher risk of contracting HPV—plus, they look weird. Uncircumcised penises have a higher risk of contracting penile cancer—also, what the fuck do you do with it? Uncircumcised penises have a higher risk of spreading HIV—and none of my girlfriends would ever fuck an uncut guy. These women are interested in sexual health, but they're more interested in protecting their own prejudice against unmodified genitalia. When it comes down to it, it doesn't matter if the guy's clean of STDs—to these women, he will always be unclean.

Again, facts are great. And when the CDC gets around to making a recommendation, we'll all be better informed about just what the risks of circumcision are. But no matter what the HIV link to uncircumcised penises turns out to be, you will never be able to determine a man's status by examining his genitals. (And in some cases, you wouldn't notice the difference anyway). So if you're one of those women who dislikes uncircumcised penises because you consider them to be "unclean," you would be better served to reserve that reaction for penises that don't have condoms on them, or any sexual conduct initiated before you and your partner undergo fresh STD tests. No matter what style of penis you prefer, those two little accessories are a lot more likely to keep you safe than an irrational repulsion to unmodified dick.