Beware the snugglers.

Lea Haben, “relationship coach,” wants to warn her clients about the dangers of on-line dating:

Haben said, “I’ve had clients that experienced full-on date rape* and I’ve had clients that have come very, very close to date rape. ” . . . Haben said look closely and you’ll find warning signs right there on a person’s profile page. “He’s not even wearing a shirt. His interests are snuggling, his favorite thing is skin to skin contact. Notice the profile if it’s very vague or you don’t get a good sense, ask for more information.”

Snuggling. Sure, it may sound sensitive, but we all know what snuggling really means: danger. It’s the number one dangerous interest! And beware: Plenty of local online daters are sneaking this secret code-word into their otherwise innocuous personals ads (emphasis mine):

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Take a look inside 7orbetter.com—before you let one inside you.

Yesterday, I took my first trip around the big penis dating site 7orbetter.com, an exclusive online community for men with penises that measure seven inches or longer, and the women who love them.

The site is the brainchild of Steven Pasternack, a Miami, Fla. entrepreneur who is no stranger to the dating woes of the well-endowed. Pasternack is also the man behind sugardaddie.com, an online dating site “Where the classy, attractive, and affluent meet.”

Pasternack’s anatomically-based venture, launched a couple of weeks ago, “is not a joke,” Pasternack, 45, confirms. “Believe it or not, this is a very important thing for some women. They’re looking for the size, but they still want a well-rounded, quality guy.”

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You ladies are totally in!

In the wake of the debut of exclusive big penis online dating site “Seven or Better,” I think it’s time to address another grave disparity implicit in our society’s traditional dating scheme. Now, thanks to Seven or Better, women in the United States, the United Kingdom, Canada, and Australia can learn the dimensions of her potential date’s penis before enduring the hassle of meeting, getting to know, becoming sexually interested in, and disrobing him.

But what about these large-penised men? Shouldn’t men also be allowed to date freely without having to worry that his date’s vagina is not large enough to accommodate his 7″ or larger penis?

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“Seven or Better” is a new online dating site for women and men interested in meeting men with penises that are confirmed to be seven inches or longer (the site doesn’t clarify, but I’m assuming we’re talking erect). “Hello ladies,” the Web site begins. “Wouldn’t it be nice to know upfront if a man has what it takes to satisfy you sexually?”

No. But go on:

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