I'm totally with you on the child rapist excuses, Gainor. I'm a little bit less with you on the Late Night womanizer excuses. Remember: just because a man's legal relationships with consenting adults happen to be aired the same week that a notorious child rapist was arrested does not mean that the two incidents are related. And I'm really not with you on the mainstream media's Olympics "excuses," which amount to Katie Couric announcing, "Despite a high-powered, star-studded U.S. appeal from Oprah to the Obamas, the Olympics are awarded to Rio.”

Which is worse: Hollywood filmmakers excusing child rape, or Katie Couric alliterating on "Oprah," "Obama," and "Olympics"? To Gainor, it's pretty much a draw!

"Turn on any network last week and you saw famous people making excuses. It didn’t matter if it was Hollywood morons defending a rapist, David Letterman pretending he was a victim for treating his staff like a harem, or Barack Obama denying responsibility for the failed Olympic bid," writes Gainor. "It looked like some nightmarish recast of an awful 'Family Circus' cartoon with all of the major characters shouting 'not me' with their hands fully in the cookie jar."

Nope, my bad! According to Gainor, it "doesn't matter" whether these people are excusing heinous sex crimes against minors, or simply refraining from speculating as to the Olympic committee's reasoning for granting the games to Rio.

Gainor's logic linking defenders of Polanski, Letterman, and Obama boils down to this: the media is failing to treat Roman Polanski like he committed a crime. The media is also failing to treat David Letterman and Barack Obama like they committed crimes. Because they didn't. I'm just going to assume that my own failure to ignore this crucial distinction designates me as a member of the liberal media. Hey, got anybody who didn't do anything wrong that requires an excuse from the mainstream media? Hit me up!

Bonus FOX News fail: "awful 'Family Circus' cartoon" is redundant. Every Family Circus cartoon is awful.

D.C. has submitted its formal, 237-page bid to host the 2014 Gay Games, the Washington Blade reports. The District will compete with Boston and Cleveland for the honors of putting on this gay Olympics of sorts.

The bid included a letter from Mayor Adrian Fenty declaring: “Please know that the District of Columbia stands with you as a full partner in this bid. We will work with you to provide the resources necessary to ensure the most successful games in history.”

The bid outlined specific details about the District's plans for official ceremonies, games, and social events, including beach volleyball "alongside the Potomac River in the shadow of the Lincoln Memorial," a "gay gospel concert," and a film festival hosted by LGBT film organization Reel Affirmations.

The bid also outlines plans to reach out to younger competitors with "exhibition sports like skateboarding, ultimate Frisbee and rock climbing”; female athletes with a "women’s sports symposium"; and children of same-sex couples with "a day at the National Zoo and kite flying on the Mall."

The D.C. Gay Games Bid Committee also plans to attempt one feat never performed at previous Gay Games: profitability. According to the Blade, "The budget and financial management section of the bid notes that past Games were financially unsuccessful, with the host city benefiting as the organizing committee was left in the red."

UPDATE: Kevin Boyer, Federation of Gay Games spokesperson, writes in with a correction: "While it is true that some past Gay Games have ended in the red, the 2006 Gay Games broke even. (The 1982 and 1986 Gay Games also ended in the black)."

Photo by Der Etienne

D.C. will compete with Boston (ugh), Miami (booo), and Cleveland (sucks) to host these gay Olympics of sorts. Steel yourself, D.C.: The selection process is a long one. We'll have to wait until October of next year to find out which of the cities (ooh! pick us!) will get the honor.