Posts Tagged ‘oh fuck what are we gonna do now’

Goobye, Sarah Palin; Oh Fuck, What Are We Gonna Do Now?

Posted by Amanda Hess on Oct. 28, 2008, at 10:00 am

A week from today, if the McCain-Palin ticket manages an unexpected, mavericky victory and clinches the presidency, low-rent bloggers, editorial cartoonists, and Hustler will all silently rejoice. Sarah Palin has been a Wasilla-Assembly-of-God-send for Web traffic numbers (Exhibits A and B) since her sudden Sept. nomination as McCain’s veep. News of Hustler’s Palin spoof porn alone has sent thousands of clicks to this modest local outfit. To those googling for “sarah palin adult film,” “palin porn preview,” and “adult film stars palin look-a-like“: I salute you!

If Palin doesn’t push her running mate over the edge by Election Day, it’s going to be a real ratings suck for Internet publications across the blogosphere. What new trend could possibly replace Palin? Here are five suggestions, based on this blog’s other top google hits. Integrate these lessons into your Web copy, and it’s smooth sailin’ until 2012.

5. Lindsay Lohan. Ever since Lindsay Lohan went gay, she’s been even more like Web traffic honey: sweet and sticky. Work Lindsay + Lohan + gay into your blog posts, sprinkle on a coating of Samantha + Ronson, and let the admirers, the haters, and the perverts roll in.