How did you spend your last day of 2008? Furiously racing to receive a blow job after spending the evening in da clurb with Steve Urkel? No? Well, Charles Barkley, who used to play basketball, probably ended the year in a more fantastical fashion than did you, reports the Associated Press.

Barkley was pulled over by police in the wee hours of Dec. 31, 2008 in Scottsdale, Ariz. after running a stop sign, the AP reports. But the Arizona Republic does the crack reporting the AP will not, digging up the police report to reveal Barkley’s excuse for the hurry: Oral sex, the very activity in which all the kids you know are engaged!

While being processed at the East Valley DUI Taskforce command post, Barkley told police, “I was going to drive around the corner and get” oral sex, the report states. He explained he had engaged in oral sex with the same woman last week, the report added.

He then told civilian employee, “I’ll tattoo your name on my ass” if it would get him out of the DUI, according to the report.

Yes, and Urkel is somehow involved in this!:

Barkley was returning from the Dirty Pretty Rock Bar near Camelback and Miller roads where he spent about three hours with a large group of 40 people, said owner Ryan Jocque. The party included actor Jaleel White, who played TV nerd Steve Urkel from the 1990s sitcom Family Matters, and football player Michael Strahan.

In a statement, Barley said only that the Scottsdale police were “fantastic.”

Photo via AP.