That first point makes sense—feminist women were thrown under the bus in order to pass the health care bill, and they're right to be pissed about it. But what's this business about forcing us to vote for lady politicians? "A major element in our battle for equality is getting women into positions of power," Siskind explains. "The hope is that these leaders, once in place, would promote women’s issues and encourage the next generation of women leaders. Speaker Pelosi reveals a flaw in feminist thinking: There are exceptions. A powerful woman can in fact be an enemy to women."

Speaker Pelosi has taught Siskind a very important lesson: Supporting female politicians is not the same as supporting women. If only Siskind had figured that out sooner, before she wrote a big 'ol article entitled "Should Women Back Palin in 2012?"

The obvious answer to that piece's titular question, of course, is "fuck no." Sarah Palin is, officially, the worst. But Siskind defies feminist conventional wisdom by throwing out this compelling argument: "Here's the difference: Sarah Palin played women's basketball."

Barring the possibility Siskind believes that sinking sweet jump shots is now a requirement for President of the United States (at this point, I wouldn't put anything past her)—I'm going to guess that Siskind supports Palin for President because she is a lady. Siskind is willing to support a woman who definitely opposes abortion rights, is totally a firm believer in teen abstinence, and is most certainly opposed to sensible rape policy—but is a lady. Why, again? Oh yeah: Because "the hope is that these leaders, once in place, would promote women’s issues and encourage the next generation of women leaders."

That is a really dumb thing to hope, Amy Siskind. And that false hope becomes—forgive me for borrowing the terminology here—a nightmare when you learn of the wide variety of women Siskind is willing to support as her leader, just because they are women:

We should embrace what the current Newsmax cover describes as The Newer Feminism, which has a home for leaders regardless of political affiliation: Hillary Clinton, Sarah Palin, Suzy Welch, and Kathy Ireland, among others.

So, in the next presidential election, I'm going to vote for Sarah Palin and hope she suddenly starts caring about women's issues. I'm going to vote for Kathy Ireland and hope she suddenly turns into someone qualified to lead the nation in more than just underwear sales. And I'm going to vote for Hillary Clinton and hope she turns into a hippopotamus.

I kid. But just in case you weren't convinced that Siskind doesn't base her faith in female politicians on blind hope, consider this argument: "I know I'll hear from critics who claim that Palin would not share my policy views," Siskind writes. "But what makes them so sure?"

We aren't stuck with Stupak because we have lifted an anti-woman woman to the Speaker of the House. We're stuck with Stupak because we have elected plenty of representatives—male and female—who are really, actually anti-women in their policies. I'll take a pro-woman man over Siskind's theory of spontaneous feminist conversion any day. Besides, women are not the only group who need more representation in the U.S. government. It's worth noting that Siskind converted from a lifelong Democrat to a McCain supporter because he chose a woman as his running-mate. On the one hand, that says a lot about Siskind's eagerness to support women in government. On the other hand, I guess that means she doesn't think it's important for African-Americans to gain representation.

The most troubling thing about Siskind's aggressive campaign to put more women in office—even if their policy positions directly oppose women—is its one caveat. Why support Palin and not Pelosi? To Siskind, we must always support female politicians, no matter what—unless that female politician does not aggressively campaign to put more women in office. Keep in mind—we don't even know if Sarah Palin would support more women in government—that's just another of Siskind's "hopes." If representation is going to be our one-and-only issue, we should all be supporting Amy Siskind for president. And that's a very scary thought indeed.

The folks at Overturn Roe have put together an instructional video to help you burn your very own effigies of Nancy Pelosi and Harry Reid this Halloween, instead of engaging in normal human activity like dispensing candy to children. According to Overturn Roe's set of "Marching Orders" [PDF], demonstrating that our Congressional leaders are going to burn in hell if they don't repent for making us pay for child killing in the health care bill is not going to be easy. "Decide you are going to do this—no matter what—even if it is just you and 2 other people," the orders read. "Do not ask permission; do not ask for peoples’ opinions as to whether or not you should do this."

Alright then. Let's get started!

1. Be sure to spend a lot of money on this. Pick up your corporate effigy at Kinkos and Home Depot: "Hi, I just sent you a PDF of Nancy Pelosi and Harry Reid. I want that in full color, on paper, 3 foot by 5 foot."

2. And time.

3. Even when it's not burning, it should look like it's burning.

4. Alienate your friends. When you invite people to your effigy burning, "Get a FIRM answer. 'Maybe I’ll be there' means 'no.' 'I’ll try to be there' means 'no.' Your heart will be grieved before this is over, because people who you thought would join you won’t. (Some people are terribly afraid that their reputation will be hurt.)"

5. Don't tell your religious leaders. "If you have a pro-life Priest or Bishop, invite them to come. If they are not really pro-life, don’t waste your time. And if you are afraid of them trying to talk you out of it, do not ask them, unless you can ignore their bad counsel. (That is why I said in #1 to just decide that you are doing this no matter what.)"

6. You should probably also get these sunglasses.

7. Annoy the media. "If you do a great event, and a few hundred cars see you, this is good. If your local TV or Radio or Newspaper or Internet Papers cover you, you reach thousands, hundreds of thousands, or even millions. This is great. It is critical that you follow these instructions EXACTLY as we give them to you."

8. Then, ignore them. "You are free to say the same thing, over and over, hammer your point. If you feel a reporter is trying to get you to say something you do not want to say, just ignore the question, and say your message. For example, you could say: 'That’s not the point: The point is it’s immoral to perform abortions and distribute contraception' and 'Would Notre Dame honor Pilate after he condemned Christ to death?'"

9. Burn. "If you don't know how to start a fire, ask a Boy Scout." Or, just unload a shitload of lighter fluid into your backyard.

10. Buuuuuuuuurn. "We suggest you check what your local ordinances are on open flame."

I don't know what I did to deserve this, but I just received this little gift in my inbox courtesy of Ayn Rand philosophy emporium / Objectivist dating site "The Atlasphere." It's called "Who Is Glenn Beck?," and it's written by John Stossel.

Usually, the photograph of Stossel's sensuous mustache would be enough to make me click through to an Atlasphere column. Here, we've got an even sweeter prize, however. Glenn Beck's sexism: explained!

Stossel notes that he's not the first to tackle the "Who Is Glenn Beck" question. Kieth Olbermann, Whoopie Goldberg, and Jon Stewart have all claimed to have figured the guy out, concluding that Beck is "the worst person in the world," a "lying sack of dog mess," and "a guy who says what people who aren’t thinking are thinking," respectively.

But Stossel may be the first to get to the deep psychological core of "Who Is Glenn Beck." After ticking off his parents' divorce, his mother's alcoholism, and her eventual suicide, Stossel lands on the woman behind the sexist: Beck's hot Mormon wife.

When Stossel asked Beck why he decided to become a Mormon, Beck replied:

"I apologize, but guys will understand this. My wife is, like, hot, and she wouldn’t have sex with me until we got married. And she wouldn’t marry me unless we had a religion."

Beck's wife, Tania, confirmed it to Stossel: "He’s not joking."

So far, "Who Is Glenn Beck" is providing more questions than answers. Why would you marry someone to have sex with them? Why would you become a Mormon to marry someone to have sex with them? Does making a man become a Mormon before having sex with him actually make you hotter? Which "guys" will understand this?

Still, Stossel thinks he's hit on something with the hot Mormon wife thing:

Now Beck says that Mormonism has grounded him, so he’s grateful to his wife.

Whatever grounded him, I’m glad something did. Because it’s good to have a super-successful cable-TV host arguing that life would be better if government—Democrats and Republicans—just left Americans alone.

Listen, I'm not going to blame Tania Beck for Glenn Beck's idea of limited government, or for convincing anyone else that Glenn Beck is "grounded." Still, Glenn Beck's assertion that marrying a no-sex-until-Mormon babe is the thing that really leveled his head may have affected Beck's perspective on women in general:

* On Nancy Pelosi: "Girl, you better check yourself before you wreck yourself!"

* "Cindy Sheehan is a tragedy slut."

* On Gloria Steinem: "You self-centered self-righteous socialist out of control dangerous man-hating bitch. Shut your mouth. We might have bought into this crap in the 1960s because too many people were doing LSD. We're not on LSD anymore—we need to start making sense."