FOX5 investigates why some D.C. special events—including D.C.'s traditional Halloween drag event, the Dupont "High Heel" race—aren't forced to pay the city fees for the D.C. police officers employed as security for the parades. Kristopher Baumann, Chairman of the Fraternal Order of Police's Labor Committee, suggests that the city money used to subsidize the parties might be better spent, like, address the murder rate. [Via Metro Weekly]

Players of first-person shooter game Team Fortress 2 have discovered a new accessory to aid them in offing other players: Images of English pin-up models Lucy Pinder and Keeley Hazell. Users are inserting the cheesecake photos into the game's environment in an attempt to distract other players long enough to sneak up and kill them. They call the tactic "Hot Girl Backstabbing," and judging by the confusion of the targets—many of whom linger near the photos for several seconds before getting blasted—the strategy appears to be working. Is this another instance of feminist-inspired simulated murder, or just another way to apply the exploitation of women to gaming? Judging by the players' enthusiastic use of the word "boobies," I'm going to guess it's the latter.

* I really liked this Maureen Dowd column mocking the policing of Kagan's sexuality via a faux Joe Biden e-mail. Dowd as Biden:

I recall how upset she was a few years ago when she got muscled into playing softball by some friends. She hates the game, absolutely HATES it. She cried and cried—like a fragile, adorable little girl. . . . She never watches the Rachel Maddow show. By 9 p.m., Elena’s usually snuggled up in bed in a lacy peach peignoir, scrawling “Mrs. George Clooney” in the margins of Blackstone’s Commentaries.

I think it's a funny send-up of the absurd hetero stereotype that some have foisted upon Kagan in order to convince the public that she's not-gay. Dowd-as-Biden sums up it up: "Elena is anything but a history-making, barrier-breaking, proud, strong, happy gay woman. She’s a garden-variety, sad, scary, single, childless career woman who can’t get a man because she’s too smart, works too much and refuses to settle." Hanna Rosin, on the other hand, thinks the column smacks of anti-gay bullying.

* I Blame the Patriarchy compares the stance of men on the red carpet to that of women.

* Via Hysteria!: What's with Shakira donning blackface for this cheesy World Cup video?

[youtube:v=v4N5N-mGf4U]

* On City Desk: The three gay men accused of conspiracy in covering up the murder of District lawyer Robert Wone are facing trial this week. In his opening statement yesterday, the defense attorney for the men claimed that the police were "prejudiced against his clients from the start." The attorney "says investigators had a hard time understanding why Wone, a straight man, would choose to spend time at a house full of gay men. He says police had accused the suspects of trying to 'gay him up.'" Wow. I have never heard "gaying somebody up" as a motive for murder.

Photo via howieluvzus, Creative Commons Attribution License 2.0

* The Washington Post examines LAX's alcohol problem:

[Huguely's] lacrosse team has a strict alcohol policy. In 1999, Coach Dom Starsia adopted a rule that allowed players to drink only one night a week, usually Saturdays. A player who broke the rule a single time would be suspended indefinitely. A second offense would result in dismissal from the team.

"Alcohol and lacrosse have gone hand-in-hand since my days at Brown [University] in the 1970s," Starsia told The Washington Post at the time. "Whether it is post-game celebrations or just in general, there was something about the sport and alcohol, and Virginia was no different. I always thought alcohol was an issue here, and it is something we talked about before the season began."

* Also in the Post, Daniel de Vise asks if the tragedy could have been prevented had Huguely's former run-ins with police—including an arrest for threatening in which he threatened to kill a female police officer—been reported to the school:

Following the death of a student, apparently at the hands of another, University of Virginia President John T. Casteen III is asking the obvious questions: what did officials know of George Huguely's past behavior, what should they have known, and might they have somehow prevented the death of Yeardley Love?

Casteen said in a news conference Wednesday that school officials were unaware of Huguely's prior arrest for a drunken and aggressive encounter between the six-foot-two Huguely and a female officer almost a foot shorter in the college town of Lexington, Va. The struggle ended with Huguely Tasered and handcuffed.

In fact, university officials should have known, at least in theory. Huguely should have told them, under a school policy that requires students to report any encounters with police. Huguely evidently didn't follow that policy.

* Vise also suggests that Spodak's alcohol policy may have had unintended consequences:

Some of the measures U-Va. has taken to protect students could have unintended consequences, said Barry Spodak, a national authority on threat assessment. He zeroed in on the decade-old policy that forbids the male lacrosse team, of which Huguely was a member, from drinking more than once a week, with stiff penalties.

Could such a rule have the effect of pushing the drinking underground?

"When formulating rules and policies about student behavior, it's wise to keep in mind whether a proposed policy will inhibit students and staff from reporting worrisome behavior," he said.

* Meanwhile, Christine Brennan for USA Today comes right out and says that "the tragedy could have been prevented," had the UVA Women's Center's proposed anti-violence network been implemented earlier:

Two weeks ago, Claire Kaplan, director of Sexual and Domestic Violence Services at the University of Virginia Women's Center, organized a 2 1/2-hour session for a small group of the school's athletic department staff on a topic that has been vitally important to her for years: the creation of a support network to help student-athletes deal with gender-based violence.

* And Virginia Governor Bob McDonnell, who doesn't have the best track record with women's issues, said in a statement that he's committed to preventing tragedies like this in the future:

"We are reaching out today to President Casteen to arrange a personal meeting with the Governor. The Governor wants to study and fully consider every possible idea that could help prevent such a senseless crime from taking place in the future. He looks forward to hearing the President's insights and thoughts on the issue."

All we know about Love's death is that she was likely killed by someone close to her. So why are UVA police responding to the murder by warning students against crimes committed by strangers?

The e-mail, from University of Virginia Police Chief Mike Gibson:

While Charlottesville remains a relatively safe environment, crimes do occur in our community. The best defense is to be prepared and to take responsibility for your own safety and for that of your friends and fellow students. A few key reminders:

Trust your instincts about a person or situation. If you feel uncomfortable, immediately report your concerns to police by calling 911.

If you are on the Grounds and need help, pick up one of the blue-light telephones. You will be immediately connected to University Police. Be aware of your surroundings. Do not let a cell phone conversation or listening to music distract you when crossing the street or in any type of situation that calls for your full attention.

Avoid isolated areas and walking alone at night. Use SafeRide (434-242-1122), walk with friends, or take a late-night weekend bus.

Keep your doors and windows locked.

Never allow strangers to follow you into a locked building and gain entry by "tailgating" you once you swipe the card reader in a residence hall. Also, never prop open card-reader doors.

If you see any of the following, immediately call the police at 911: a prowler, someone peeping into a residence, an individual watching, photographing or filming an area, or any other suspicious behavior.

Work with your neighbors and fellow community members to ensure a safe environment.

UVA police have instructed students how to avoid and/or respond to the following: An attack on the grounds of the university. Getting hit by a car. A late-night street attack. An attack by an unknown intruder.  An attack through the window. An attack by a prowler. An attack by a peeping Tom. An attack by a suspicious filmmaker.

Police believe that Love was killed by a more likely suspect—a man she knew. In general, women, and particularly young women, are more likely to be killed by someone they know than by a stranger. So why hasn't UVA included any information here about domestic violence?

UVA student Madeleine Conger, campus e-mail tipster extraordinaire, forwarded me Gibson's e-mail. "I find it appalling . . . that no mention is made of how to tell if you are in an abusive relationship, how to avoid escalating aggressive confrontation, resources for people in abusive situations, or tips for friends of those who are," says Conger. "Not even the number of the amazing women's center we have here." She adds: "I just don't understand why we can't speak honestly about violence. . . . Locking your doors isn't going to keep your boyfriend from hitting you."

I have a call out to the University of Virginia Police Department asking about the nature of the tips. In the meantime, students can head to the UVA Women's Center, where they can find resources specific to sexual assault and domestic violence.

Date Rape Anthem: The Gits' "Spear & Magic Helmet," our first anti-rape anthem inspired by the Looney Tunes set. Thanks to commenter basketcasey for the tip.

Relevant Lyrics:

You jump out from behind
Two against one
You said, “You’ve been a bad girl,”
Then you slapped her right across the face
What could be going through your mind
This does no one good
I suggest you buy a cage
Cause I’m full of rage

Then you raped her
You left her in the alleyway
I know I have to see you
And all I think of you is right
Could’ve gone on after you
You’re nothing but filth and scum
Now I have to wail on you
And your reputation
Just because you see her there
You think it’s all fair and square
All I fucking see in you
Is one goddamn lame excuse

Spear & The What Now?: The title of the song comes from the 1957 Merrie Melodies short, "What's Opera, Doc?" In it, Elmer Fudd attempts to kill Bugs Bunny, as per the usual plotline, except this time Fudd is costumed as the Viking god Thor, and the stock storyline parodies the operas of Wagner. Well aware that Fudd is no god, but just a plain old wabbit hunter, Bugs ridicules Fudd for wearing his absurd "spear and magic helmet."

Fudd: I'm going to kill the wabbit!

Bugs: Oh mighty warrior t'will be quite a task. How will you do it, might I enquire to ask?

Fudd: I will do it with my spear and magic helmet!

Bugs: Your spear and magic helmet?

Fudd: Spear and magic helmet!

Bugs: Magic helmet?

Fudd Magic helmet!

Bugs: Magic helmet.

Fudd Yes, magic helmet!

The Gits track, by the band's singer/songwriter Mia Zapata, is directed at a man among the speaker's group of friends who has raped a woman. (Two years after the track was recorded, Zapata would be found raped, murdered, and abandoned in a Seattle, Wa. street). Like Fudd's thirst for bunny wabbits, the rapist feels entitled to prey on women simply because they are there ("Just because you see her there / You think it’s all fair and square"). In the cartoon, Fudd's "spear and magic helmet" are constructs that falsely empower him to "play God" over all other creatures. The rapist's "goddamn lame excuse" is that he's built a "reputation" that allows him to get away with raping women. Like Fudd, the rapist has nurtured a false sense of superiority in order to convince himself that it's morally acceptable for him to teach lessons to women he deems to be "bad girls." But just as Bugs always outsmarts Fudd, the song insists that the rapist's actions will come back to bite him in the ass.

• 32 of the dead are female.
• 21 of the dead are male.

Last year, in other words, 40 percent of people who died in Maryland as a result of domestic violence were male. Right about now, men's rights activists are surely waiting in the wings, ready to pounce on this statistic as irrefutable evidence that men are victimized by domestic violence at nearly the same rate as women. The truth is much more complicated.

Let's look at the numbers on the female side first (courtesy of the MNADV's extensive research).

Of the 32 females who died as a result of domestic violence last year:

• 3 were children.
• 29 were adult women.

Of the 29 adult women:

• 28 were victims of domestic violence.
• The one remaining woman was a domestic violence aggressor who committed suicide. She is the sole occupier of the category of "females who killed themselves or were killed after committing murder/attempting to commit murder."

Of the 28 adult female victims:

• 10 were wives or ex-wives of the offender.
• 17 were girlfriends or ex-girlfriends of the offender.
• One was a domestic violence victim who committed suicide.

And on the male side of things:

Of the 21 males who died as a result of domestic violence last year:

• 2 were children.
• 19 were adult men.

Of the 19 adult men:

• 9 were victims.
• 10 were domestic violence aggressors who died as a result of their own domestic violence—"males who killed themselves or were killed after committing murder/attempting to commit murder."

Of the nine male victims:

• 2 were husbands or ex-husbands of the offender.
• 3 were boyfriends or ex-boyfriends of the offender.
• 3 were killed by their current partner's ex.
• 1 was killed by his ex's current partner.

Of the ten men who killed themselves or were killed after committing murder or attempting to commit murder:

• 1 man was killed by the police.
• 3 were killed by their partners in self-defense.
• 6 committed suicide.

Of the 53 total dead:

• 27 were killed by gun or rifle.
• 12 were killed by knife.
• 5 were killed by strangulation.
• 4 were killed by vehicle.
• 2 were killed by "physical force/hands."
• 2 were killed by burning
• 1 cause of death was unknown.

Domestic violence kills in many ways. When it comes to male deaths by domestic violence, men are more likely to be killed as a result of attempting to murder their own partners than as a result of their partner's aggression. Men who are victims of domestic violence are almost as likely to be killed by a partner's ex than by their partners themselves. "Domestic violence is not as simple and straightforward as people think," says Michele Cohen, MNADV's Executive Director. "The work that we do attempts to capture the full picture of all the individuals who die as a result of domestic violence—both victims and offenders."

Tonight, the MNADV will hold its 22nd Annual Memorial Service for all the "women, men, and children" who died over the past year from domestic violence. Find more information about the Annapolis, Md. service here [PDF].

This week, anti-abortion activists staged an eBay auction to help raise a legal defense fund for Scott Roeder, who was charged with murdering abortion provider George Tiller back in May. With the auction, anti-abortion activists were hoping to capitalize on Roeder's newfound notoriety by selling off a series of his signed, pro-life memorabilia.

But before the items could hit the virtual auction block, eBay announced that the memorabilia would be removed from the Web site. In a statement, the company said that it would “not allow listings that promote or glorify violence, hate, racial or religious intolerance, or items that encourage, promote, facilitate or instruct others to engage in illegal activity.”

St. Louis cartoonist Gary McCoy had a more personal beef with the auction: It totally ripped off his work.

Among the offending items listed for auction: A cartoon presumably penned by one of Roeder's fellow inmates and kindred spirits, Jason Dubrowski. The cartoon depicts a newspaper clipping that reads, "Late-term abortion provider killed. Pres. Obama 'shocked and outraged.'" Beyond the paper is the cartoon's ironic payoff: rows of graves, each marked "Aborted Baby." It's signed: To all you prolifers, thanks for your support. Scott Roeder.

McCoy, a conservative cartoonist who regularly addresses abortion in his work, published that very same image back on June 1—minus the alleged murderer's salutation. Today, Cagle Cartoons, which syndicates McCoy's work, recognized Roeder and Dubrowski's cartoon as a near replica of McCoy's effort, and called the incarcerated duo out for their plagiarism. As the syndicate's blog notes, Roeder "seems to admit" the theft in the cartoon's eBay listing: “His name is Jason Dubrowski and is one of the best artists I’ve seen in here . . . The drawing of the field of babies tombstones with the newspaper headline comments of Obama was done after a Christian newsletter printed this illustration which a lady in Valley Center sent to me.”

McCoy was not impressed with the tribute from "one of the best artists" in prison. "I was extremely upset to learn that my cartoon was being plagiarized in order to defend Scott Roeder," says McCoy, who was alerted to the misappropriation this morning by friends, colleagues, and even Roeder's estranged wife, Lindsey. Lindsey called McCoy to inform him that Roeder had previously sent both her and her son a copy of McCoy's original cartoon from prison. Clearly, Roeder was a fan.

McCoy claims he only intended the cartoon to condemn abortion, not support murder. "It was merely my attempt to comment on the contrast between Obama being outraged over Dr. Tiller’s murder, and his lack of action on abortion," says McCoy. "Look, I’m pro-life. But I don’t condone the killing of abortion doctors. Most legitimate pro-lifers condemn that action. Only the fanatical fringe do that sort of thing, and it really upsets us."

Roeder and Dubrowski aren't the only ones who have insulted McCoy's work this week. eBay's response to the auction "kind of irked me as well," says McCoy. "They say they don’t allow listings that promote or glorify violence, and it kind of bothers me that they thought my cartoon promoted violence. I'm glad they took the cartoon down, of course, but I wish they had made it clear that they removed it because it was a plagiarized cartoon, and not because my cartoon was violent."

This Week In Sexist History:

So, this "McFarland" guy was kind of pissed that his wife up and left him to become an actress and hang out with some "Richardson" dude. So he did what any husband would do: He fucking shot Richardson! To death. Thankfully, McFarland has got fancy olde-tyme defense lawyer John Graham on his side, who is like Atticus Finch meets Jack McCoy, except for jealous 1870's douchebags:

We laughed. We cried. We wanted to fuck him. In this four-hour grandstand, all Graham had to prove was that his client, McFarland, was insane when he shot his wife's lover point-blank. Graham gets preeeeeetty creative, and then—get this—ends the oration with "tears running down his [own] cheeks"(!) Let's see how Graham argues so hard for murdering adulterers that he makes himself cry:

—
McFarland Is Crazy Because His Wife Thinks She's Too Good For Him:

—
He's Crazy, But Even If He Wasn't Crazy, Other Dudes Your Wife Had Sex With Deserve to Die Anyway:

—
He's Crazy, But He's Not A Fucking Coward!

—
He's Crazy Because She Tried to Make A Life For Herself As An Actress, And She Sucked At It:

P.S.: She was an "abortion" on the stage? They had the sweetest insults in the 1870's!

—
He's Crazy Because Only A Crazy Man Would Stand Idly By While His Wife Cuckolds Him. Wait, Doesn't That Mean That He's Not Crazy? Whatever:

This Week In Sexist History, a double billing:

followed by:

Good 'Ol Day: August 28, 1897

On August 28, 1897, a couple of newsworthy events occurred: A nine-year-old girl discovered the head of a local Arabian woman in the woods, was threatened with death by the woman's killer, then escaped just in time to avoid the forest fire the murderer lit to obscure his victim's remains. In other news, dog did something cute. I wonder which story the New York Times deemed worthy of the most column inches?

Nameless decapitated foreign woman: 29 lines.

Now how about that dog?

Dog imbued with the human qualities of inquiry, serenity, gaiety, and amusement by the New York Times: 42 lines.

According to historical Washington Post archives, August is a banner month for crazy bitches. But there's a quick solution for any late-summer onset of the vapors, whether it's from the heat, a cheatin' man, or a too-full pocket book: oh, just throw her in the insane asylum! (The therapeutic pelvic massage comes later).

Diagnosis: It's hot.

Remedy: Straightjacket.

Bitch, please: Mary Smith, "a domestic"—the Post doesn't specify the breed—bites herself "in her frenzy." Police respond by tying her arms to her body and throwing her in jail. Surely, whatever made this stay-at-home Virginia mom housekeeper nearly bite her own arms and hands off will subside once the humidity goes down, right? Make sure to keep her on the insta-asylum list for next August!

—

Diagnosis: Husband-killer.

Remedy: Explain it away as hysterical jealousy.

Bitch, please: Ah, I see that this man was the victiom of his wife's "jealous rage" over allegations of "paying attention" to another woman, and so was slain. Typical. It's almost enough to overlook the part where he jumps out of the car and slams his fist in her face for catching him with his male companion. Hmmm! But even if it was a domestic face-punching and not maaaddddness which prompted the woman to discharge the weapon, one thing's for sure—if she wasn't crazy before, she's crazy now. Case closed.

—

Diagnosis: "Colored"

Remedy: Guess.

Bitch, please: These women were practically asking to be pronounced demented and filed in the "insane department." After all, the three women were suspicious, "like the majority of their race," and we all know that black women are just one herbal tea away from being a lifelong danger to themselves and others.

—

Diagnosis: Bitch has money.

Remedy: Yeah, yeah, commit her.

Bitch, please: Well, well, well. The truth comes out. It's not too hard to illegally confine a fake crazy woman in an insane asylum after all! All she has to do is get drunk—or get too hot, or drink some tea—and it's curtains for her! this woman is lucky enough to have a lawyer—she's crazy because she's rich, remember—who tries to make people give a shit that turn-of-the-century insane asylums were marked by "ill-treatment and cruelty." The "aged colored woman" in our last story probably was not so lucky.

[youtube:v=9dWsextJ4tc]

As you can see, Begala schooled, punished, crucified and murdered McCain in some sort of live televised pornographic snuff film! Given the creepy terminology the media's been throwing around here, I'm surprised no one has referred to the exchange as a "spanking" yet. Oh wait, yeah, somebody did.

The Huffington Post invokes the school-girl theme more subtly in its characterization of the interaction, writing that Begala "schools" her and that McCain was "taken to task" by him:

But McCain also pointed a finger at the Obama administration in Bush's defense, saying she felt that the Obama administration "has to stop completely blaming everything on its predecessor." When Maher asked McCain if she really thought this is what Obama is doing, McCain said "I do to a degree." A clearly annoyed Begala immediately shook his head and said "not to enough of a degree, I'm sorry not nearly enough." He then began to explain how President Reagan blamed Jimmy Carter for years, to which McCain responded blithely "you know I wasn't born yet so I wouldn't know." Going in for the kill, Begala fired back "I wasn't born during the French Revolution but I know about it." And it only got more embarrassing for McCain from there.

McCain is clearly no match for a televised debate with Paul Begala—few people are. Begala made a living ridiculing Republicans on CNN until 2005 on Crossfire (and that credit alone makes him calling Fox News a "comedy show" kind of hilarious). I don't disagree that the appearance was probably a bit embarrassing for McCain, but the popular reaction to this two-minute exchange has been uncomfortably gleeful. Somehow, watching a 48-year-old analyst verbally beat up on a 24-year-old blogger doesn't excite me as much as media reports have indicated it should. The whole clip makes me a bit ill, actually: the insane shrieking from the audience;Maher moving to physically shield McCain, as if she needs the host's protection from Paul fucking Begala; and later, the characterization of Begala as McCain's "teacher" who schools, punishes, spanks, and, uh, yeah, murders her for her comments.

If we can sift through the bloodbath for a second, I think the point should be made that nobody—even the seasoned political analyst—manages to say anything substantive in this video clip. McCain thinks Obama is blaming Bush for his problems—a pretty easy argument for anyone to knock down. Instead, Begala invokes Ronald Reagan's blaming of Jimmy Carter for no apparent reason. McCain's response—"I wasn't born yet so I wouldn't know"—doesn't work the way it should. But I see what she was trying to do with it: She was attempting a self-deprecating acknowledgment of her inexperience while making a fair point—Ronald Reagan is dead, has been out of office for 20 years, and is irrelevant to this discussion. Begala swipes the point aside—you know, what the fuck Ronald Regan has to do with this—by declaring that he knows about a bunch of things that happened before he was born. Cue the shrieks: She got ZINGED.

Of course, shows like Maher's are more about the zings than the issues, and McCain could probably use some more practice in both. Casting her as Paul Begala's school-girl, however, gets a little bit too close to political nerd erotica for my personal taste.

Last week, after returning from a disappointing dancing session in da club, where Taylor learned some harsh lessons about love, loss, and getting totally shut down by a hot girl, Taylor had a lot to think about. So he sat down at his computer and carefully compiled his thoughts in an entry on his blog, "UnCommoN SENSE with Aaron P. Taylor." The entry, "Advice 4 Women: How to NOT Get a 'Deserved Raping,'" was a quick primer on how girls might avoid doing things that would lead them to be responsible for their own rapes (the riddle of undeserved rapes yet to be deciphered by Aaron P. Taylor).

Women who do not want to get raped should never "dance with a guy over and over again," nor grind "her ass on [Aaron P. Taylor's] penis not once, twice, or three times, but several, SEVERAL times." Nor should she, hypothetically, "go on a date wearing a top that shows just about everything but her nipples, then have a 30-minute conversation with a guy about how voluptuous and sensitive her breasts are, then spend half the night stroking her hand against the outer-lining of said breasts." Believe Aaron P. Taylor: Women do this all the time.

Now, Aaron P. Taylor did not rape the woman who ground her ass on his penis on that fateful night. Still, he is haunted by the possibility of what might have happened had he been the type of guy who would have raped her:

had I been a less-than-understanding guy (i.e., a forceful-type of guy who always “gets what he wants by any means necessary”), I could have just as easily forced a kiss on her, or worse– -waited until after the club let out to follow her to her car, then followed her to her house. And, when she got out her car, I could have been right there ready to pounce on her, saying: “I think you owe me something, lady!!

If you are that type of guy, hey, Aaron P. Taylor understands. And if you're a woman, Aaron P. Taylor understands you, too. Which is why when his initial post drew a barrage of negative comments from the ladies, Aaron P. Taylor was moved to write a second post explaining his position.

Calm down, ladies. Aaron P. Taylor doesn't just think that "teasing" women bring on their own rapes; he also believes that cancer victims are asking for it and that poor people should expect to be murdered.

"Now, in the same way that not every girl who teases guys for fun is going to get raped, not every person who smokes is going to catch lung cancer," writes Taylor. "However, there ARE smokers who catch lung cancer, just like there are women who get raped after purposefully teasing guys over and over, and eventually teasing the WRONG guy."

Aaron P. Taylor continues with a cautionary tale about choosing the right part of Washington, D.C. to settle down in. "had I moved into [a bad] area and got robbed or killed 5 days later . . . [my friends and family] would not have been surprised. Why? Because they would have already known that something like that could happen to me in that part of town. I would have been tempting fate by deciding to live there, and–while not everyone who lives in that part of town gets killed there—the fact that there was a high risk for it would have made living there a stupid decision on my part."

Taylor goes on to write that women who get raped are, themselves, "stupid," and that he is looking for a smart woman (wink) who is less likely to get repeatedly ravaged by strange men. He caps the blog post with a smiley-face emoticon.

Topics discussed: William F. Buckley Jr., murder, Facebook relationship status, real Americans, exploitation, boredom.

Catch up on last week's podcast here.

* not actually five minutes