Thanks to the 163,364 of you who stopped by this week to read about Sarah Palin’s lip hair. I guess.

1. Sarah Palin, Lip Hairs and All, in which Newsweek focuses on Sarah Palin’s face.

2. The Final Hours of the Washington Blade, in which the Blade falls, but the DC Agenda rises.

3. Sarah Palin’s Entire Existence is Sexist, in which Newsweek focuses on Sarah Palin’s bod.

4. Rapists Who Don’t Think They’re Rapists, featuring trolls.

5. Chris Brown: I Love Women, in which Chris Brown joins the ranks of Mel Gibson, Tom Cruise, and the skeevy guy from The Continental.

Photo via Library of Virginia

This week on the Sexist, we heard about a bunch of bumbling frat boys who didn’t want their student newspaper to talk about date rape. We made up for it by talking about date rape a bunch!

1. Fraternity Accused of Stealing 10,000 Newspapers to Cover Up Date Rape Story, in which the enormous pile of drugging victim testimony ate their homework.

2. Writer to Rape Victims: Sometimes, It’s “Too Late to Say No”, in which it’s not! Ever!

3. On the Difficulty of “Saying No”, in which, all the same: “yes” ought to be the standard, really.

4. Drunk Girls Deserve to Get Raped, in which Internet trolls respond to a gang-rape by blaming the victim.

5. Ashley Madison’s Conservative Values, in which a cheating Web site denounced by moral conservatives profits off their traditional values.

Photo via the Library of Congress

This week on the Sexist, we tackled sex, drugs, boobs, and racism. In no particular order.

1. The 10 Worst Sexy Halloween Costumes, in which this shit is almost over, I promise.

2. The Sex-Ed Gender Divide, in which sometimes, when a woman meets a man she loves very much, she still needs different out of her sex ed experience.

3. How to Inform a Friend Their Halloween Costume Is Racist, in which we attempt to dissuade a fellow trick-or-treater from her “Sexy Illegal Alien” get-up before someone kicks her ass.

4. WJLA’s Breast Cancer Report Won’t Blur Boobs, in which an educational breast-baring is hailed as exploitative

5. The Date Rape Drug Is An Urban Myth. Let’s Put it to Rest, in which the conversation on acquaintance rape needs to change.

Photo via the George Eastman House

Last week on the Sexist, Rihanna came back but stayed silent on domestic violence. The Freakonomics guys can come back once they’ve tried out prostituting themselves for a living. And we wish “No Homo” would just go away:

1. Why Is Rihanna Expected to Be a Feminist Icon?, or, according to commenter Genesis, “FEMINIST ICON MY ASS.”

2. Sexist Beatdown: The Happy Hooker, Or Why Doesn’t Steven Levitt Suck Dick for a Living?, in which we predict the next installment in Freakonomics: “WHY AREN’T LEVITT AND DUBNER JOINTLY FELLATING YOU RIGHT NOW: A FREAKONOMIC ANALYSIS.”

3. How Censoring “No Homo” Will Help Hip-Hop: by making everything a lot more gay.

4. D.C. Has Lowest Marriage Rate in Country, Largest Percentage of Same-Sex Couples, in which a quaint little post on the virtues of same-sex marriage inspired accusations of D.C. apartheid.

5. In Defense of D.C.’s Domestic Partnerships, in which same-sex marriage is great, but marriage still kinda sucks.

Photo by Powerhouse Museum Collection

This week on the Sexist, we lamented Sexy Halloween, investigated an underground sex club, lamented Sexy Halloween some more, and called out some pretty shitty perspectives on college sexual assault:

1. The 10 Worst Sexy Halloween Costumes, in which it actually gets worse than the Italian cuisine inspired “Shlonguini” costume.

2. Steep Price: Gay Sex Club Closes After Fatal Injury, in which an accidental head injury shutters one of D.C.’s most successful underground operations.

3.  The Worst Sexy Halloween Costumes: “Sexy Indian” Edition, in which centuries of oppression are smoothed over with a couple of fishnets.

4. G.W. Paper Criticizes Sexual Assault Victims’ Lack of Responsibility, in the Hatchet blames assault victims.

5. Lawyer Calls Alleged Sexual Assault “Being Silly”, in which the Hatchet interviews a guy even more offensive than its editorial board!

Photo by riptheskull.

Last week on the Sexist, an awesome holiday for children was ruined by a costume involving a “shlonguini,” people came up with a lot of excuses not to just say “rape,” and an underground sex club suffered an anonymous tragedy:

1. The 10 Worst Sexy Halloween Costumes, in which women dress sexy and men dress like a penis joke.

2. Verbal Assault: The Abuse and Debasement of “Rape”, in which it doesn’t get worse than “rape-rape.”

3. Death at Logan Circle “Men’s Parties” Apartment, in which a sex club meeting leaves one dead.

4. Common Roman Polanski Defenses, Refuted, in which no movie is that good.

5. “Men’s Party” Sex Club Victim May Have Broken Neck, in which there are “snacks.”

Photo by Ha! Designs

Last week on the Sexist, Polaski defenders depressed us, frat boys surprised us, ex-gays confused us, and the Catholic University of America banned us:

1. Common Roman Polanski Defenses, Refuted, in which just because he doesn’t look like a duck, swim like a duck, or quack like a duck, doesn’t mean he’s not a rapist.

2. Frat Boys at GW Rush to Undo Homophobic Stereotypes, in which Maryland blue crabs are served, but not emphasized.

3. Ex-Gay Group Calls Hate Crime Laws “Anti-Ex-Gay”, in which the ex-gay logical universe continues to consume me!

4. You’re Drunk. It’s Inside You. It Kind of Hurts. Is It Rape? in which a guy named “Buster Darkhole” says you’re probably just overreacting.

5. Catholic University Bans Sex on Campus, Newspapers Discussing Sex on Campus, in which sex does not sell free newspapers!

Photo via Wikipedia Commons.

Last week on the Sexist, we took a look at the role of consent in the context of porn, bad undergraduate sex columns, false accusations, and the work of Tucker Max. A retrospective:

1. False Rape Accusations and Rape Culture, in which people who care about rape and people who care about false rape claims should fight on the same side.

2. The Anatomy of a Tucker Max Joke, in which [Tucker Max] + [charges of misogyny] = [pageviews]

3. You’re Drunk. It’s Inside You. It Kind of Hurts. Is It Rape? In which American University’s back-to-school sex column gets off to a very slut-shaming start.

4. Victims Vs. Sluts: Hofstra’s False Rape and the Media. In which the Hofstra accuser is a liar, but she’s called a “whore.” What?

5. Name That Consent Porn! In which Backseat Bangin’: The Honda Accord is totally up for grabs, pornographers!

1. Tucker Max Fans Fight Rape With Racism, in which Photoshopping “grape drink” onto an anti-rape sign constitutes “brilliance”

2. False Rape Accusations and Rape Culture, in which rape is bad, rape accusations are bad—and attempting to prove that women are sluttier than men based on STD transmission rates is bad science, guy.

3. Tucker Max Too Sexist For Ad Space?, in which Tucker Max tells you all to go fuck yourselves.

4. The Rapiest Quotes From “I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell”, in which I can’t possibly write another word about Tucker Max, even to introduce you to this blog post on Tucker Max! Sorry!

5. Dan Brown Adds Transgendering To the Lexicon, in which I read 56 words from Brown’s new book, and one make-believe word!

6. D.C. Gay Men Have Biggest Dicks, D.C. Gay Men Report, in which PENIS GRAPH.

7. Spot Your Local Tucker Max Douchebag. Collect them all!

Photo by riptheskull, Creative Commons 2.0

Last week on the Sexist, Tucker Max fans defended their leaders against charges of misogyny (wait: I thought that was the point?), PETA “banned” itself again, and I made fun of girls who make fun of dude’s penises. Technically, this list does not include the week’s actual top five most popular blog posts, because a lot of people Googled their way over to this Glenn Beck post again, but I’m not counting it because fuck that guy.

1. Spot Your Local Tucker Max Douchebag!, in which calling other people “douchebags” makes me a douchebag, and possibly a rapist in some states!

2. Pam Anderson and PETA Release Another Banned Video, in which Pam is too hot for TV, but juuust riiight for YouTube.

3. The Rapiest Quotes From I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell, in which, oh great that guy again!

4. How the AP Styleguide Fails Transgender Subjects, in which an AP reporter attempts a “he said, she said” version of a transgender profile.

5. Could A CDC Circumcision Recommendation Inspire More Penis Ignorance?, in which grown women who attend Sex & the City bus tours are not the best source of accurate sexual health information.

Photo by freeparking, CC by 2.0

This week on the Sexist, we played a game of who’s-the-slut, found out why some transgender travelers may be treated like terrorists, and finally learned the difference between sex and sexual assault. It was a pretty big week for us, honestly.

1. Women and Gay Men Are Sluts. Jealous, Straight Guys? Sex!

2. New Security Measures May Complicate Transgender Travel. Travel!

3. Catholic University Gets Tougher On Sexual Assault, Remains Tough on Sex. Uh, School Policy!

4. Cross-Dressing Thief Commits Perfect Crime! Intrigue!

5. Grainy Security Video Shows Lesbians Hugging in Tastee Diner. Home Fries!

Photo via flickr user freeparking / CC BY 2.0

This week on the Sexist, people who play kickball thought I “need a good f’ing,” presumably with “the busted dildo [I] inherited from [my] older sister.” (Maybe I should try this guy?). Anyway, thanks for taking the time out of your busy fucking schedules to read my blog post, guys!

1. Adult Kickball Is More About Fucking Than Kicking. Promise.

2. Reddit User Calls Girlfriend A Bitch On Reddit, Can’t Understand Why She Hates Reddit (and Him). A parable for our times.

3. D.C. Bathroom Signs: Ignored By Many, Hated By Few, Expensive, and Possibly Illegal. Find something to be offended about in the comments!

4. Rape Prevention Tips: Stay Inside or Die a Horrible Death. AND ALWAYS CARRY AN UMBRELLA.

5. Why Pick-Up Game Hurts Everyone Except the Guy Shilling Books, who suffers silently in his mansion built from babes.

Photo by santarosa OLD SKOOL

Next week, I take my annual exotic vacation from a life of bloggin’ about drag queens and pulling out (okay: I’m going to Idaho). While I’m off the sex and gender beat, resident City Paper bike porn chronicler Mike Riggs will be posting here on the Sexist to pick up my dildo slack. He promises to write about dude stuff!

But before I go—oh, the memories! Let’s relive last week’s most popular blog posts:

1. Doggie Style: A Sex Toy for Dogs, in which CP editor Erika Niedowski explores the newest “silicone vagina and an easy to clean reservoir,” for dogs.

2. “He Could Have Sex With Anybody He Wanted,” in which Ben Roethlisberger’s most ardent fans aren’t doing him any favors.

3. Could Condom Shame Be Good for Pharmacies?, in which Trojan sales come with a little gummy bear income on the side.

4. Dick Sucking Economics 101: 6th & K Streets NW, in which CP seniro writer Jason Cherkis learns how to hide your after-hours sex work from an unsuspecting husband.

5. Mystics KissCam Would Be Too Gay, in which the Washington Mystics protect the KissCam’s homophobic punchlines.

6. The Dildos of the Future, in which rocking chairs grow penises.

7. Sex Codes: The Top 31 Acronyms for Your Sexist, Racist Fetishes, in which “Concentration Camp Look” is used commonly enough to earn a fucking acronym.

8. Date Rape Anthems: Karaoke No-Nos Edition, in which Sublime is off-limits.

9. Gay Man Arrested for Mocking Police Bigotry, in which

10. When Gender Transition Requires a Long, Strange Trip, in which all plastic surgeons are not created equal.

1. Public Breast-Feeding: What the Nursing Bib Means for the Right to Bare Breasts: Surely the boob question of our time.

2. Why Female Bikers Get Harassed: It’s not the bike and it’s not the way she rides it. It’s because harassers will take anything as an excuse for their behavior.

3. A Hierarchy of the Human Nipple: The female human body: how to know whether it’s sexy, nonsexual, or gross, depending on the cultural context.

4. Marion Barry “I Wouldn’t Suck Your Dick” Collector’s Edition: Get ‘em while they last.

5. Why You Should Care About Marion Barry’s Un-Blow Job: What, me, care about the lack of a blow job? Hear me out!

Photo by PJunior

1. Who Can Make A Rape Joke?, in which I inspire commenters to actually defend Asher Roth.

2. A Hierarchy of Date Rape Jams, in which even my eternal love for Rod Stewart cannot move me to forgive that time when he trapped the virginal object of his affection in his house, warned her to stay away from his doors and windows, and unplugged the telephone in preparation for boning her.

3. Advice on How Not to Advise Women Not to Get Raped, in which Aaron P. Taylor rises again.

4. CVS: Where Freed Condoms Go to Die, in which condoming up is hard to do.

5. Inside a Date Rapist’s Living Hell, in which warning women not to dance with you will make your life kind of suck, actually.

Last week on the Sexist:

1. An Open Letter to CVS “Sensitive Lady Products” Salespeople, in which small-talk is bad, but acknowledging I am a human being is good.

2. Breast Practices: Insider Tips From D.C.’s Greatest Erotic Photo Hunter, in which, boobs.

3. The Tenderoni Theory of Marriage, in which Chromeo, Michael Jackson, and Bobby Brown tell it like it isn’t.

4. Inside Big Penis Dating Site “Seven or Better”, in which there is too much information.

5. Welcome to the Anti-Gay Auditions, in which homophobia goes Hollywood.

Last week on the Sexist:

1. Welcome to the Anti-Gay Auditions! in which NOM NOM NOM!

2. Inside Big Penis Dating Site “Seven Or Better”, in which “better” does not necessarily mean “better”

3. Menace to Sorority, in which the sorority is actually the menace

4. Breast Practices: Insider Tips from D.C.’s Greatest Erotic Photo Hunter, in which Earl finds the five differences

5. Big Penis Dating Site Reveals Inches Before First Date, in which

Photo by twodolla

Welcome to the Anti-Gay Auditions! Watch audition number three again, for laughs.

Observe and Report’s Date Rape Apologism: If Seth Rogen date-rapes you in the forest, and nobody hears you puke, is he still a douchebag?

Why Sex Positivity is Bad for Feminism: Or great, whatever, I don’t even have an opinion on this anymore.

Menace to Sorority: A transgender threat that rivals the gathering gay storm.

“AIDS the Gay Plague” Photo Corner: Anonymous Photoshopped homophobia.

Last week on the Sexist:

1. Menace to Sorority, in which sorority members insult fraternity members, and vice-versa, ad nauseum

2. Why Sex Positivity is Bad for Feminism, in which the sex-positivists descend upon me (pictured)

3. Indiana Bestiality Law Cracks Down on Deleted Dog Porn, in which we are all made dumber

4. The Great Mexican Cartoon Porn-Off Concludes!, in which I thank the Huffington Post for linking to me

5. Why Cougars And MILFs Are Not Hot, in which I defend my generation

Last week on the Sexist:

1. Menace to Sorority, in which this story just won’t die!

2. Indiana Bestiality Law Cracks Down on Deleted Dog Porn, in which, aww, you guys shouldn’t have. Really. This one was really popular.

3. The Great Mexican Cartoon Porn-Off, in which I review obscene Spanish-language cartoons, for the funnies.

4. Saws in Vaginas: Dangerous, in which I expound upon the obvious.

5. 6 Hour Power Secretary Ad: Sexy, Nonsensical, in which I review the sexiest television commercial “ever.”

6. GLB against T: Who’s Man Enough to Escape a Beating, in which lesbians gang up on transgender men.

7. Trans Slammer: Are D.C.’s Transgender Inmates Still Getting Screwed, in which yes, they are.

8. Pope Makes Unbelievably Offensive AIDS Trip to Africa, in which yes, he does.

9. The HIV Blame Game: We Debate, You Decide!, in which Black Informant and I definitively determine the cause of the continued spread of HIV!

10. The HIV Blame Game: Let the Debate Begin, in which we do that more.

Photo by Charles Steck.

1. Menace to Sorority, in which the sorority message-board-dwellers simply cannot quit me.

2. Trans Slammer, in which D.C.’s transgender inmates win some battles, lose others, and gain some very persistent commenters in the process.

3. The Great Mexican Cartoon Porn-Off, Part 3, in which I review Spanish-language cartoon porn culled from the beaches of Mexico.

4. The Great Mexican Cartoon Porn-Off, Part 1, in which Part 2 does not get nearly so much lovin’ as do the other parts.

5. Saws in Vaginas: Dangerous, in which a saw inside a dildo inside a vagina painfully breaks free of its rubber and flesh captors.

1. Menace to Sorority, wherein a George Washington University sorority accepts a transgender male, forces him out, claims they thought he was just a lesbian.

2. Why Does D.C.’s First Lesbian Bar Have a Problem With Marines? Find the answer in the comments.

3. Sexist Beatdown: Rihanna V. Chris Brown Edition, wherein we discuss whether celeb-obsessed Perez Hilton addicts can provide any positive insight into domestic violence.

4. Does Bonobo Porn Turn You On, Ladies? Well, apparently, yes.

5. Las Vegas’ Prolific Prostitutes: Unimpressive, because they’re all just glorified tresspassers!

1. Cobalt Retires Its Shoe Fetish, in which Cobalt jettisoned a policy against women’s shoes when worn by women!

2. Young Man, There’s A Place Your Can’t Go, in which we keep with the discriminatory door policy theme!

3. Barack Obama’s Inauguration Draws Millions of People, Several Crazy People, in which the crazy people about whom I write provide me valuable blog hits!

4. Squeezed “Juicy”, in which my story rises from the ashes of Juicy Campus’ demise!

5. An Open Letter to the Performer of ‘Smell Yo Dick’, in which I lobby for a more subtle approach!

Photo by Darrow Montgomery

Well, my favorite was the bonobo pornography reviews, but ya’ll prefered the dissection of the D.C. Human Rights Act as applied to our fair city’s young male bar-goers. Hey, to each her own I guess. This week’s most popular blog posts:

1. Young Man, There’s a Place You Can’t Go, the story of the young Town Tavern, which turns away Adams Morgan’s most noble specimen: The under-23 douchebag.

2. The Feminist Mystique: How Election 2008 Killed a Notorious Word, in which I resurrect the ghost of Sarah Palin, to make a point about how she continues to haunt women!

3. How to Crash an Inaugural Ball Tonight!: Lessons From the Kentucky Bluegrass Ball, because I’m still sippin’ on the free Makers Mark!

4. New Adams Morgan Bar Loves the Ladies; Dudes, Not So Much, the blog post that inspired the newspaper story!

5. Notes From the Pro-Life Underground, or, “The Sexist Opens Her Mail.”

1. Robo Dino Sex: A “Best of Craigslist” Interlude proves that my readers are classy

2. Bitter Pill: How the District’s Pharmacies Hurt Women calls out the guys in the white coats

3. A Very Androgynous Christmas details one more holiday on the road to middlesex

4. Abstinence is Out: What Little Girls Should Pledge Instead encourages betting against grade-school virginity

5. Don’t Fucking Tell Me to Smile, Baby explains why I wont turn that frown upside down

6. Star in the Sarah Palin Adult Film just won’t die

7. The Morning After: A $300,000 Tripp Edition tells you how to identify a “slut”

8. Diesel Sells Jeans Through Ridiculous Porn Satire Featuring No Jeans explains self

9. Tom Petty: Heartbreaker asks, Tom Petty: misogynist, genius, or both?

10. Blind Item: San Francisco Journo Seeks Inauguration Date is “engrossing,” “poignant,” “refined”

robo dino by infomofo