Last week on the Sexist:

1. Buttman v. The Man, in which milk enemas manage to disgust, but fail to offend, D.C. jurors.

2. A Brief History of Date Lab Racism, in which I was hoping to be hooked up with someone less racist, but he's cute so I'll keep an open mind.

3. But Was She Wearing High Heels?, in which victim-blaming hits the courtroom.

4. Anti-Porn Scholar: Watching Porn Gets Women Raped, in which zany theories are aired.

5. The Morning After: Post-Racial Deodorant Edition, in which Old Spice heals our racial sexiness divide.

1. Opening Arguments in the U.S. Vs. John "Buttman" Stagliano

2. Buttman Trial: Courthouse Porn Shows Enemas, Racial Epithets

3. Buttman Trial: Couthouse Porn Viewing Turns to Squirting

4. Common Roman Polanski Defenses, Refuted

5. Buttman Trial: Should Porn Star Testify Under Her Real Name?

Last week on the Sexist: Dang! Mentioning Olivia Munn does gin up your pageviews!

1. Hiring Inequality Through The Daily Show, in which doing nothing is sexist!

2. Feminism for Bitches, in which feminism for everybody!

3. NOM to Bring Mandatory Heterosexuality Bus Tour to D.C., in which being straight becomes super creepy!

4. Consent and Manipulation in Olivia Munn's Playboy Shoot, in which areolas are our battleground!

5. Waterboarding is Torture, Pickpocketing is Theft, Rape is Rape, in which words matter!

Before you drink too much and marvel at sparkly things, on account of America, take a look back at some depressing stuff about sexual assault, and some inspiring stuff about geek feminists. See you Tuesday:

1. Consent and Manipulation in Olivia Munn's Playboy Shoot, in which Playboy representatives are surprisingly creepy toward women!

2. What Does It Mean That Al Gore's Accuser Saved Her Pants? in which women who preserve evidence are dismissed as calculating.

3. Courtney Stoker on Feminist Geek, in which the revolution will not come in the form of sexy naked Stormtroopers.

4. Beauty Pageants Meet LGBT Activism, in which worlds collide.

5. Make Your Dude-Dominated Subculture More Accessible to Women, in which we make it better.

Photo via Cornell University Library

Last week on the Sexist, CHOMP!

1. Examiner Called on Sexual Assault Coverage, in which Tweets are twittered.

2. Talking Sex, With Kink Educators And Anti-Porn Activists, in which anti-porn people talk dirty.

3. The Morning After: Eyes on Road, Hand on Crotch Edition, in which drivers multitask.

4. The Groper's Path of Least Resistance, in which a gay pride parade provides cover for a groper.

5. Come for the Pizza, Stay for the Deconstruction of Masculinity: Still goin' strong!

Photo via The Library of Congress

Last week on the Sexist:

1. Barrier Method: How a 42-inch Fence is Threatening Our Nation's Unborn, in which Planned Parenthood protesters lose 40 feet of holy land.

2. Why Wedding Weight Loss Isn't About "Health," in which brides compete to be "healthy" enough to be loved.

3. Miss D.C. Jen Corey on Groping, Cat-Calling, and Smack-Downs, in which our outgoing Miss D.C. takes a stand against street harassment.

4. Who Is to Blame for an Effeminate Man?, in which women police men by policing themselves.

5. D.C.'s Street Harassment Confrontation Gap, in which local targets of street harassment are sometimes reluctant to take a shot.

Last week on the Sexist, we protested, we profited, and we made some porn in the privacy of our own homes:

1. Anti-Abortion Activist Gets Arrested, Attention, in which fetus advocates fight for 40 feet of footpath.

2. For Better. For Worse. For Profit?, in which businesses in D.C.'s new gay wedding industry compete to profit from your happy day.

3. The Morning After: Gays Against Gays Edition, in which a lesbian anti-gay-marriage activist is deemed more credible than heterosexual ones.

4. An Open Letter to Dumb Sluts, in which people who have sex in front of cameras are simply uncivilized!

5. Local "Smile, Baby" Guy to Marry, in which street harassment actually works for once.

Photo via George Eastman House

This week on the Sexist, we're not players we just fuck a lot.

1. Come for the Pizza, Stay for the Deconstruction of Masculinity, in which feminism is also delicious!

2. Metro Sexual: When Transit Employees Harass, in which passenger breast commentary is not a part of the public employee's job description.

3. An Illustrated History of Male Chastity Devices, in which penis cages abound.

4. Male Scientist Rankled By Dinner for Women Scientists, in which a spirited discussion ensues as to who is truly sexist.

5. Street Harassment Bystander Whipped With a Belt for Intervening, in which a street harasser turns street assailant.

Last week on the Sexist:

1. Miss D.C. Meets Grope With Body-Slam, in which local beauty queen Jen Corey practices self-defense against entitled douchebags.

2. Come for the Pizza, Stay for the Deconstruction of Masculinity, in which the way to a man's is through his stomach.

3. How Feminists Ruined Menstruation and Other Insights of a Dude Psychologist, in which evolutionary psychology can surely explain why I want to vigorously douse this guy in vaginal blood.

4. Vintage Victim-Blaming: Feminism Causes Rape, and Other Crime Prevention Tips, in which a 70s-era police chief asserts that all rapes can be preventing by women and children getting a heavy dose of that old 70s-era police chief "common sense."

5. Miss D.C. Talks Groping; NBC4 Is Shocked and Confused, in which groping does not solely afflict local beauty queens.

Photo via Smithsonian Institution.

Last week on the Sexist:

1. Lena Chen on Assault by Photograph, in which the lovely Lena gives a first-hand account of being on the receiving end of Internet slut-shaming.

2. But Was She Wearing High Heels?, in which defense attorneys victim-blame.

3. Who Did Elena Kagan Take to Prom, and Other Exercises in Heterosexism. Also: She played softball. Eh? Eh?

4. Gay Marriage Opponents Inch Closer to Death, in which the whippersnappers are more tolerant than the old-timers.

5. De-Friendly Fire: American University Student Makes Facebook Rape Accusation, in which 12 people "Liked" this.

"Two women boxing" via the Powerhouse Museum Collection

Last week on the Sexist, we watched Precious three times, so we can't possibly be jerks:

1. Could Yeardley Love's Death Have Been Prevented by UVA Safety Tips?, in which a university responds to a domestic-violence-related murder by telling students to watch out for strangers.

2. De-Friendly Fire: American University Student Makes Facebook Rape Allegation, in which you "liked" it, you really "liked" it.

3. Woman Shot After Refusing Stranger's Advances: The Harassee's Dilemma, in which women harassed on the street must choose between being a bitch or a tease.

4. The Morning After: Ex-Gay Christopher Hitchens Edition, in which, yay, people actually read these.

5. Watching Precious Three Times: The Modern Asshole's Defense, in which a journo declares Gabouray Sidibe "horrible" for not being sufficiently impressed by the fact that she watched Precious three times. In other news, at least this guy is honest that this is really about fat hatred; in the comments, he refuses to admit it's about gender and race as well.

Photo via State Library of New South Wales

Last week on the Sexist:

1. We Know the Way to End Prison Rape. Is It Too Expensive?, in which it's not, really.

2. When Will "Aesthetic Plastic Surgery" Empower Men Too?, in which Jesus Christ makes an appearance, in the form of a bronze aesthetic surgery sculpture.

3. With Great Cleavage Comes Great Responsibility, in which boobs.

4. The Morning After: Savage Vajazzling Edition, in which the idea that vaginas are gross is debated at length.

5. Sexist Beatdown: Rethinking Virginity Edition, in which virginity is vanquished, not lost.

Photo via the State Library of New South Wales

Last week on the Sexist:

1. Denim Day Counts All the Ways We Excuse Sexual Assault, in which sexual assaults against good girls, bad girls, drunk girls, old people, young people, all men, military personnel, prisoners, sex workers, trans women, and all GLBT people are excused away.

2. With Great Cleavage Comes Great Responsibility, in which boobs are slutty.

3. The Morning After: "I Agree With Alex Knepper" Edition, in which there's a whole lot of resignin' going on.

4. Why Don't We Accept Victim-Blaming From Rapists?, in which when a rapist tells his victims to lock their doors, he's a monster; but when we tell victims the same thing, we are realists.

5. Why You Never See a College Rapist's Name In a Campus Alert, in which students are warned about rape—but not rapists.

Photo via George Eastman House

Last week on the Sexist, we showed our commitment to the marijuana community by injecting sterile, freeze-dried urine into a realistic looking synthetic penis.

1. How to Sell Realistic Peeing Penis Dildos to Heterosexual Men, in which ... dildos, pee, you get the idea.

2. Men's Studies Too Feminist For You? Try "Male Studies", in which feminism ruined everything :(

3. Sexist Comments of the Week: Male Studies Questions Answered, in which I act as liaison between the feminists and the masculists.

4. Female Orgasms, Skinny Girls, And Feminist Cognitive Dissonance, in which we make getting off harder than it is.

5. But Was She Wearing High Heels?, in which victim-blaming eclipses the facts.

Dude via The U.S. National Archives

Last week on the Sexist:

1. Test Case: You're Not a Rape Victim Unless Police Say So, in which a rape victim is denied a rape kit by D.C. police.

2. Erykah Badu . . . For Genital Waxing?, in which the beauty industry attempts to capitalize off Badu's rejection of such nonsense.

3. Men's Studies Too Feminist For You? Meet Male Studies, in which feminism has become so influential that scholars must invent an entirely new discipline in order to back to combat the treachery it has enacted upon the male spirit.

4. Kiely Williams, Girls Gone Wild, and Eroticizing Drunk Sex, in which rape is the best sex ever.

5. Breast Implants For Jesus vs. Breast Implants for Feminism, in which you don't have to justify why you purchased breast implants, but if you do, I invite you to consider all of the possibilities.

Photo by Darrow Montgomery

Last week on the Sexist, nobody was as awesome as this guy.

1. Fucking While Feminist, With Jaclyn Friedman, always timeless.

2. American University Student Newspapers Vandalized Over "Rape Apology," in which AU anti-feminist Alex Knepper explains his take on gay sex. It involves dildos.

3. Dear Abby Takes On the "Smile, Baby" Guy, in which Abby agrees that telling strangers to smile is whack.

4. The Hazards of Nude Modeling, in which imaginary shorts are drawn.

5. Lena Chen on Assault By Photo, in which widespread slut-shaming commences.

Photo via State Library and Archives of Florida

This week on the Sexist, besides taking in this magnificent olde-tyme phallic display (above), we

1. Why Rape Isn't One Big Misunderstanding in which when you search for this post in Google, you will find the following suggestion:

2. Fucking While Feminist, With Jaclyn Friedman, in which with our powers combined, perhaps one of us can get laid one of these days.

3. The 5 Most Feminine Feminine Hygiene Products, in which my hands smell of lavender from all this shaving.

4. But How Do I Know I'm a Street Harasser?, in which we follow the "people, not objects" rule.

5. Cat-Calling, Bystander Sexism, and How Sexual Harassment Hurts Men, in which, say it with me now, the patriarchy hurts everybody.

Photo via the Australian War Memorial

Last week on the Sexist:

1. The Problem With Defending the Sacred Choice to Vajazzle, in which in The Distant Future, Pubes Cut You!

2. Kotex Can't Say "Vagina" on TV, in which we ask ourselves, "What Is Tampon?"

3. Is $500,000 Enough to Get Anyone to Use the Female Condom?, in which rubber molds of penises and vaginas are employed.

4. Cat-Calling, "Bystander Sexism," and How Sexual Harassment Hurts Men, in which the world is going completely to shit (ref. comments section).

5. Sexist Comments of the Week: "Yo, Gorgeous" Edition, in which street harassment leads to stalking leads to me acting like kind of a bitch if you try to talk to me on the street, sorry.

Photo via George Eastman House.

Last week on the Sexist:

1. Rubber Barons: Why Doesn’t Your Boyfriend Know Jack About Contraception?, in which poppin' birth control pills like candy won't stop the babymakin'.

2. Deconstructing Rape Myths: On Short Skirts (On Lesbians), in which women who are into women are harassed by men to switch sexual orientations.

3. Rape Analogy: The Walking In A Bad Neighborhood Theory, in which I write even more about rape, much to the chagrin of those who read this blog in order to complain about how much I write about rape.

4. Internal Affairs: How Ayn Rand's Followers Rationalize "Welcomed" Rape, in which we delve into the deepest, darkest Objectivist fantasies of your tweens.

5. Sexist E-mails: Women Don't Give Nice Guys the Sex They Want, in which I get e-mails. Send me one!

Photo via State Library of Queensland, Australia

This week was one of the Sexist's most-read weeks ever. Thanks for the memories:

1. Rape Analogy: The Walking in a Bad-Neighborhood" Theory, in which fancy analogies will not disguise the fact that you're blaming the victim.

2. To Avoid Funding Gay Marrieds, Catholic Charities Denies Benefits to All Spouses, in which God goes for the jugular.

3. Rubber Barons: Why Doesn't Your Boyfriend Know Jack About Contraception?, in which vaginal rings are discovered via penis probe.

4. Would Your Boyfriend Be Pleased By Your Surprise Fetus?, in which your boyfriend is all like, "a baby on the way!" and you're all like, "abortion appointment."

5. D.C. Gay Marriage Day: The Happy Couples & The Smiling Bigots, in which even the spawn of Fred Phelps can't dampen the day.

Photo via the Library of Congress

This week on the Sexist, we had some oldies but goodies pop back up (nos. 2 & 3), as well as some modern classics (no. 1):

1. Rape Analogy: The Walking In A Bad Neighborhood Theory, in which when women are othered, everything they do looks suspicious.

2. Legal Consent, Morning-After Regret, and Accidental Rape, in which more rape analogies are considered.

3. Inside a Date Rapist's Living Hell, in which our friend Aaron P. Taylor, inventor of the "Deserved Raping," is back! Watch out, ladies! (Seriously).

4. How Stay-At-Home Dads Can Still Keep Women In Their Place, in which women who work outside of the home can get Ideas in their heads.

5. When Rapists Graduate and Victims Drop Out, in which universities who won't expel rapists can deny victims their right to education.

Photo via Flickr Commons, State Library of New South Wales

Happy Valentine's Day, Sexist readers. Feel free to spend the holiday thinking back on these not-so-romantic tales:

1. Why Superbowl Ads Are So Racist, Sexist, and Homophobic

2. If Your Boobs Could Talk, Would They Say "Boobs"?

3. If The Dodge Charger Made Ads For Oppressed Women

4. The Worst Sexual Assault Prevention Tips Ever

5. "I'm Claimed By This Pervert": One Woman Who Responded To Her Grope

Photo via the Galt Museum & Archives

Last week on the Sexist,we learned that since both climbing stairs and riding in elevators put women at a high risk of sexual assault, the only way for us women to ascend beyond the ground floor is to invent some sort of rocket boot. Think about it!

1. The Worst Sexual Assault Prevention Tips Ever, in which wearing rocket boots is truly the only reliable mechanism for avoiding rape. That is, until the rapists invent their own  rocket boots. Then we're shit out of luck.

2. The Breast Massage Will Happen, in which your boss uses phrases like "bone-girl" in your work e-mails.

3. Why Do So Many Men Die as a Result of Domestic Violence?, in which murdering your wife can be deadly.

4. Victim Blaming and Transgender Rape Victims, in which transphobic commenters argue why a trans women simply can't have been raped.

5. Style Tips From Men's Rights Activists, in which men's rights will never truly be achieved as long as dudes are still buying "stylish elevator shoes."

Photo via the Library of Congress

Last week on the Sexist, the breast massage happened.

1. "The Breast Massage Will Happen": Inside the Culture of Sexual Harassment at the Marijuana Policy Project, in which a work e-mail from the boss employs the phrase "bone girl."

2. Date Rape Anthem: Ke$ha's "Blah Blah Blah", in which if you get drunk and shut up, Ke$ha may attempt to gain access to your penis.

3. Touch and Go: How Groping Happens, in which the "Sideboob Handshake" rises again.

4. "Why Would I Want to Touch Your Ass?" When Groping Victims Talk Back, in which groped women respond.

5. The Penis Monologues: A Primer on Republican Genitals, Through the Years, in which MY PENIS IS ANGRY!!!

Photo via the Library of Congress

Last week on the Sexist:

1. Lil Wayne Jokes About His Own Rape, in which the rapper spells out the cycle of abuse.

2. "I Just Wanted Him to Finish And Leave": Why Some Groping Victims Freeze, in which frotteurs practice their fetish in the D.C. Metro system.

3. A Groping Victim's Guide to D.C., in which you can get help.

4. Can Having Three Condoms In D.C. Get You Arrested?, in which D.C.'s policies are bad for sex workers.

5. Rape Analogy Redux: The Stroll In The Jungle Theory, in which comments abound.

Photo via Flickr Commons

This week on the Sexist, one Real World housemate likes to draw sexual assault scenarios, we talked about groping, and we fact-checked the claims of "Booty Pop."

1. Rape Cartoons By the Real World D.C.'s Andrew Woods, or as I like to call it, "Tucker Max: Illustrated."

2. Touch and Go: How Groping Happens, in which dozens of D.C. women share their experiences being groped in public.

3. Why do Gropers Grope?, in which the gropers respond.

4. Having a Butt Won't Change Your Life, in which joining the butt club ain't all it's cracked up to be.

5. Sexist Comments of the Week: Real World Rape Cartoons Edition, in which opinions are aired.

Photo via the George Eastman House

This year on the Sexist, the pageviews accumulated like so many cats draped across my spinstery blogger frame. I'd like to take a minute to thank you all for clicking and commenting, even those of you who accidentally stumbled onto this blog while searching for porn. Especially you guys.

Below are the 10 most popular blog posts of the past year, with commentary on everything from semen facials to sexy librarians to nipple slips to Sarah Palin. Damnit! You all were just looking for porn!

10. Semen Facials Are Like Weddings, in which the degradation of porn can be ignored in the bedroom (as long as we can address it on the blogs):

Facials are like weddings. We all know that the institution of marriage is one of the patriarchy’s all-time greatest hits, in which women are sold into sexual slavery from father to husband in exchange for livestock. And yet, who derives the greatest joy from weddings? Women! It’s the craziest thing. But even though we all know that weddings were clearly institutionalized to facilitate the willing subjugation of women, feminists figure out a way to do it anyway. Why? Probably because even though we all know it’s sexist as fuck, weddings—like facial ejaculation—still make some people happy. And feminists deserve to be happy, too. But that doesn’t mean we should forget about the sexist tropes that sometimes inform our happiness (and our sex lives).

9. Library Conference Secret Twitter Proves Librarians Sexy, Stern, in which some librarians wish to silence the sexual overtures of other librarians:

Some librarians are exhausted by the conference’s material (”I have reached the point of the conference where I no longer give a damn about anything anyone is saying any more.”) Others are inspired by a perceived lack of cultural acceptance for a librarian’s sex life (”I am an adult. I am a librarian. I enjoy good sex. Including at this conference. What is the problem?”). Most of them, for whatever reason, are talking about fucking—that’s the “sexy” part. Not everyone is happy about it. That’s where “stern” comes in.

8. Huffington Post: Liberal Politics, Sexist Entertainment, in which nipple slips emerge as a liberal mainstay:

The problem is that people really do care about nipples. They care so much about nipples that the Huffington Post devotes pages and pages of photographs to them when women accidentally (or, you know, against their will) reveal them to the public. In that way, there’s no difference between the religious conservative who is scandalized by a bare breast popping up in the middle of his football game and a liberal Web site which devotes its resources to naked chicks. A woman’s body part is a priority. Real women’s issues, not so much.

7. The Onion's Best and Worst Rape Jokes, in which the hilarity of rape jokes is all about the target:

I’ve written a lot recently on who can successfully tell a rape joke and what targets are fair game for the butts of those jokes. One perennial source of rape humor, the Onion, gets the rape joke dynamic right a lot of the time. The format has a lot to do it: as America’s leading source of fake news, the Onion is always skewering the media along with its make-believe subjects, and media treatment of sexual violence is often ripe for satire.

6. The Rapiest Quotes From "I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell", in which Tucker Max's jokes rely on almost (but not quite!) rape:

[youtube:v=-qpHzm5Z-eQ]

Max’s stories succeed on orchestrating sexual conquests that are increasingly outrageous, drunk, dubiously legal, painful, objectifying, and embarrassing to his sex partners. In order to continue to one-up himself, Max intentionally pushes the line of consent—getting drunker, getting her drunker, leaving his sex partners to fend for themselves—naked—on the street, hiding his friend with an undisclosed video camera in his closet while they’re doing it. It’s not hard to think of the ultimate scenario these increasingly absurd sexcapades are inching toward—it’s, like, rape, dude. And now—thanks to Max’s movie tour—undergrads everywhere can compete to have the consensual sex that’s most like rape without actually being a prosecutable offense. Sure, some dudes might fail and actually rape chicks. Oh well!

1. Parent Files Complaint Against Gay Teacher Over Child's Sense of Innocence, in which one gay guinea pig inspires the most absurd DCPS parent complaint ever.

2. Identify Yourself as a Douchebag for Only $21.99, in which the "funbags" polo is embroidered with a pair of tits that (bonus!) look like balls from far away.

3. James Chartrand's Constructed Masculinity Goes Far Beyond the Pen Name, in which pretending to be a man and pretending to be a sexist man are two very different things.

4. Cosmo's 5 Most Absurd Water Sex Positions, in which “the aroma of wet grass boosts your sense of smell, making this a supersensory experience.”

5. "The Campus Rape Myth": Rape Isn't Real, Therefore College Students Shouldn't Have Sex, in which the argument that abstinence will solved the make-believe campus rape crises makes my brain go KABLOOEY.

Photo via MJames, Creative Commons Attribution License 2.0

Last week on the Sexist,

1. Ask Amy Responds to Rape Criticism. She Still Doesn't Get It, in which Amy Dickinson digs the rape apology hole a little bit deeper (see below).

2. The Top 5 Pseudo-Feminist Anthems, in which calling yourself a "bitch" doesn't automatically earn you a spot in the Girl Power Hall of Fame, Meredith Brooks.

3. Sarah Palin Supporters Talk Feminism, in which Sarah is hailed as an icon in women's empowerment for not "speaking planned speech."

4. Ask Amy to Reader: "How Dare You Call Me a Rape Apologist", in which Dickinson seriously reconsiders her previous assumptions about law students.

5. Dr. Laura's Feminist Guide to Gifting, in which women are allowed to have jobs outside the home . . . as long as they spend their free time furiously weaving holiday baskets until they collapse in sweet exhaustion.

Photo via Powerhouse Museum Collection

This week on the Sexist:

1. Don't Know If You Were Raped? Ask Your Rapist! in which rapists are not the best people to consult on matters of consent.

2. Patience Is a (Feminist) Virtue, in which pop culture re-brands the tradition of feminine patience for a new generation.

3. Should We Remember Mike Penner or Christine Daniels?, in which a transgender sportswriter's death presents obituary writers with a pronoun problem.

4. The Case for Eulogizing Christine Daniels, in which one obit writer speaks out about her choice.

5. Chris Brown: "I Love Women", in which Gene Weingarten adds himself to the list of the phrase's defenders.

Photo via the Library of Congress

Thanks to the 163,364 of you who stopped by this week to read about Sarah Palin's lip hair. I guess.

1. Sarah Palin, Lip Hairs and All, in which Newsweek focuses on Sarah Palin's face.

2. The Final Hours of the Washington Blade, in which the Blade falls, but the DC Agenda rises.

3. Sarah Palin’s Entire Existence is Sexist, in which Newsweek focuses on Sarah Palin's bod.

4. Rapists Who Don't Think They're Rapists, featuring trolls.

5. Chris Brown: I Love Women, in which Chris Brown joins the ranks of Mel Gibson, Tom Cruise, and the skeevy guy from The Continental.

Photo via Library of Virginia

This week on the Sexist, we heard about a bunch of bumbling frat boys who didn't want their student newspaper to talk about date rape. We made up for it by talking about date rape a bunch!

1. Fraternity Accused of Stealing 10,000 Newspapers to Cover Up Date Rape Story, in which the enormous pile of drugging victim testimony ate their homework.

2. Writer to Rape Victims: Sometimes, It's "Too Late to Say No", in which it's not! Ever!

3. On the Difficulty of "Saying No", in which, all the same: "yes" ought to be the standard, really.

4. Drunk Girls Deserve to Get Raped, in which Internet trolls respond to a gang-rape by blaming the victim.

5. Ashley Madison's Conservative Values, in which a cheating Web site denounced by moral conservatives profits off their traditional values.

Photo via the Library of Congress

This week on the Sexist, we tackled sex, drugs, boobs, and racism. In no particular order.

1. The 10 Worst Sexy Halloween Costumes, in which this shit is almost over, I promise.

2. The Sex-Ed Gender Divide, in which sometimes, when a woman meets a man she loves very much, she still needs different out of her sex ed experience.

3. How to Inform a Friend Their Halloween Costume Is Racist, in which we attempt to dissuade a fellow trick-or-treater from her "Sexy Illegal Alien" get-up before someone kicks her ass.

4. WJLA's Breast Cancer Report Won't Blur Boobs, in which an educational breast-baring is hailed as exploitative

5. The Date Rape Drug Is An Urban Myth. Let's Put it to Rest, in which the conversation on acquaintance rape needs to change.

Photo via the George Eastman House

Last week on the Sexist, Rihanna came back but stayed silent on domestic violence. The Freakonomics guys can come back once they've tried out prostituting themselves for a living. And we wish "No Homo" would just go away:

1. Why Is Rihanna Expected to Be a Feminist Icon?, or, according to commenter Genesis, "FEMINIST ICON MY ASS."

2. Sexist Beatdown: The Happy Hooker, Or Why Doesn't Steven Levitt Suck Dick for a Living?, in which we predict the next installment in Freakonomics: "WHY AREN’T LEVITT AND DUBNER JOINTLY FELLATING YOU RIGHT NOW: A FREAKONOMIC ANALYSIS."

3. How Censoring "No Homo" Will Help Hip-Hop: by making everything a lot more gay.

4. D.C. Has Lowest Marriage Rate in Country, Largest Percentage of Same-Sex Couples, in which a quaint little post on the virtues of same-sex marriage inspired accusations of D.C. apartheid.

5. In Defense of D.C.'s Domestic Partnerships, in which same-sex marriage is great, but marriage still kinda sucks.

Photo by Powerhouse Museum Collection

This week on the Sexist, we lamented Sexy Halloween, investigated an underground sex club, lamented Sexy Halloween some more, and called out some pretty shitty perspectives on college sexual assault:

1. The 10 Worst Sexy Halloween Costumes, in which it actually gets worse than the Italian cuisine inspired "Shlonguini" costume.

2. Steep Price: Gay Sex Club Closes After Fatal Injury, in which an accidental head injury shutters one of D.C.'s most successful underground operations.

3.  The Worst Sexy Halloween Costumes: "Sexy Indian" Edition, in which centuries of oppression are smoothed over with a couple of fishnets.

4. G.W. Paper Criticizes Sexual Assault Victims' Lack of Responsibility, in the Hatchet blames assault victims.

5. Lawyer Calls Alleged Sexual Assault "Being Silly", in which the Hatchet interviews a guy even more offensive than its editorial board!

Photo by riptheskull.

Last week on the Sexist, an awesome holiday for children was ruined by a costume involving a "shlonguini," people came up with a lot of excuses not to just say "rape," and an underground sex club suffered an anonymous tragedy:

1. The 10 Worst Sexy Halloween Costumes, in which women dress sexy and men dress like a penis joke.

2. Verbal Assault: The Abuse and Debasement of "Rape", in which it doesn't get worse than "rape-rape."

3. Death at Logan Circle "Men's Parties" Apartment, in which a sex club meeting leaves one dead.

4. Common Roman Polanski Defenses, Refuted, in which no movie is that good.

5. "Men's Party" Sex Club Victim May Have Broken Neck, in which there are "snacks."

Photo by Ha! Designs

Last week on the Sexist, Polaski defenders depressed us, frat boys surprised us, ex-gays confused us, and the Catholic University of America banned us:

1. Common Roman Polanski Defenses, Refuted, in which just because he doesn't look like a duck, swim like a duck, or quack like a duck, doesn't mean he's not a rapist.

2. Frat Boys at GW Rush to Undo Homophobic Stereotypes, in which Maryland blue crabs are served, but not emphasized.

3. Ex-Gay Group Calls Hate Crime Laws "Anti-Ex-Gay", in which the ex-gay logical universe continues to consume me!

4. You're Drunk. It's Inside You. It Kind of Hurts. Is It Rape? in which a guy named "Buster Darkhole" says you're probably just overreacting.

5. Catholic University Bans Sex on Campus, Newspapers Discussing Sex on Campus, in which sex does not sell free newspapers!

Photo via Wikipedia Commons.

Last week on the Sexist, we took a look at the role of consent in the context of porn, bad undergraduate sex columns, false accusations, and the work of Tucker Max. A retrospective:

1. False Rape Accusations and Rape Culture, in which people who care about rape and people who care about false rape claims should fight on the same side.

2. The Anatomy of a Tucker Max Joke, in which [Tucker Max] + [charges of misogyny] = [pageviews]

3. You're Drunk. It's Inside You. It Kind of Hurts. Is It Rape? In which American University's back-to-school sex column gets off to a very slut-shaming start.

4. Victims Vs. Sluts: Hofstra's False Rape and the Media. In which the Hofstra accuser is a liar, but she's called a "whore." What?

5. Name That Consent Porn! In which Backseat Bangin': The Honda Accord is totally up for grabs, pornographers!

1. Tucker Max Fans Fight Rape With Racism, in which Photoshopping "grape drink" onto an anti-rape sign constitutes "brilliance"

2. False Rape Accusations and Rape Culture, in which rape is bad, rape accusations are bad—and attempting to prove that women are sluttier than men based on STD transmission rates is bad science, guy.

3. Tucker Max Too Sexist For Ad Space?, in which Tucker Max tells you all to go fuck yourselves.

4. The Rapiest Quotes From "I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell", in which I can't possibly write another word about Tucker Max, even to introduce you to this blog post on Tucker Max! Sorry!

5. Dan Brown Adds Transgendering To the Lexicon, in which I read 56 words from Brown's new book, and one make-believe word!

6. D.C. Gay Men Have Biggest Dicks, D.C. Gay Men Report, in which PENIS GRAPH.

7. Spot Your Local Tucker Max Douchebag. Collect them all!

Photo by riptheskull, Creative Commons 2.0

Last week on the Sexist, Tucker Max fans defended their leaders against charges of misogyny (wait: I thought that was the point?), PETA "banned" itself again, and I made fun of girls who make fun of dude's penises. Technically, this list does not include the week's actual top five most popular blog posts, because a lot of people Googled their way over to this Glenn Beck post again, but I'm not counting it because fuck that guy.

1. Spot Your Local Tucker Max Douchebag!, in which calling other people "douchebags" makes me a douchebag, and possibly a rapist in some states!

2. Pam Anderson and PETA Release Another Banned Video, in which Pam is too hot for TV, but juuust riiight for YouTube.

3. The Rapiest Quotes From I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell, in which, oh great that guy again!

4. How the AP Styleguide Fails Transgender Subjects, in which an AP reporter attempts a "he said, she said" version of a transgender profile.

5. Could A CDC Circumcision Recommendation Inspire More Penis Ignorance?, in which grown women who attend Sex & the City bus tours are not the best source of accurate sexual health information.

Photo by freeparking, CC by 2.0

This week on the Sexist, we played a game of who's-the-slut, found out why some transgender travelers may be treated like terrorists, and finally learned the difference between sex and sexual assault. It was a pretty big week for us, honestly.

1. Women and Gay Men Are Sluts. Jealous, Straight Guys? Sex!

2. New Security Measures May Complicate Transgender Travel. Travel!

3. Catholic University Gets Tougher On Sexual Assault, Remains Tough on Sex. Uh, School Policy!

4. Cross-Dressing Thief Commits Perfect Crime! Intrigue!

5. Grainy Security Video Shows Lesbians Hugging in Tastee Diner. Home Fries!

Photo via flickr user freeparking / CC BY 2.0

This week on the Sexist, people who play kickball thought I "need a good f'ing," presumably with "the busted dildo [I] inherited from [my] older sister." (Maybe I should try this guy?). Anyway, thanks for taking the time out of your busy fucking schedules to read my blog post, guys!

1. Adult Kickball Is More About Fucking Than Kicking. Promise.

2. Reddit User Calls Girlfriend A Bitch On Reddit, Can't Understand Why She Hates Reddit (and Him). A parable for our times.

3. D.C. Bathroom Signs: Ignored By Many, Hated By Few, Expensive, and Possibly Illegal. Find something to be offended about in the comments!

4. Rape Prevention Tips: Stay Inside or Die a Horrible Death. AND ALWAYS CARRY AN UMBRELLA.

5. Why Pick-Up Game Hurts Everyone Except the Guy Shilling Books, who suffers silently in his mansion built from babes.

Photo by santarosa OLD SKOOL

Next week, I take my annual exotic vacation from a life of bloggin' about drag queens and pulling out (okay: I'm going to Idaho). While I'm off the sex and gender beat, resident City Paper bike porn chronicler Mike Riggs will be posting here on the Sexist to pick up my dildo slack. He promises to write about dude stuff!

But before I go—oh, the memories! Let's relive last week's most popular blog posts:

1. Doggie Style: A Sex Toy for Dogs, in which CP editor Erika Niedowski explores the newest “silicone vagina and an easy to clean reservoir," for dogs.

2. "He Could Have Sex With Anybody He Wanted," in which Ben Roethlisberger's most ardent fans aren't doing him any favors.

3. Could Condom Shame Be Good for Pharmacies?, in which Trojan sales come with a little gummy bear income on the side.

4. Dick Sucking Economics 101: 6th & K Streets NW, in which CP seniro writer Jason Cherkis learns how to hide your after-hours sex work from an unsuspecting husband.

5. Mystics KissCam Would Be Too Gay, in which the Washington Mystics protect the KissCam's homophobic punchlines.

6. The Dildos of the Future, in which rocking chairs grow penises.

7. Sex Codes: The Top 31 Acronyms for Your Sexist, Racist Fetishes, in which "Concentration Camp Look" is used commonly enough to earn a fucking acronym.

8. Date Rape Anthems: Karaoke No-Nos Edition, in which Sublime is off-limits.

9. Gay Man Arrested for Mocking Police Bigotry, in which

10. When Gender Transition Requires a Long, Strange Trip, in which all plastic surgeons are not created equal.

1. Public Breast-Feeding: What the Nursing Bib Means for the Right to Bare Breasts: Surely the boob question of our time.

2. Why Female Bikers Get Harassed: It's not the bike and it's not the way she rides it. It's because harassers will take anything as an excuse for their behavior.

3. A Hierarchy of the Human Nipple: The female human body: how to know whether it's sexy, nonsexual, or gross, depending on the cultural context.

4. Marion Barry "I Wouldn't Suck Your Dick" Collector's Edition: Get 'em while they last.

5. Why You Should Care About Marion Barry's Un-Blow Job: What, me, care about the lack of a blow job? Hear me out!

Photo by PJunior

1. Who Can Make A Rape Joke?, in which I inspire commenters to actually defend Asher Roth.

2. A Hierarchy of Date Rape Jams, in which even my eternal love for Rod Stewart cannot move me to forgive that time when he trapped the virginal object of his affection in his house, warned her to stay away from his doors and windows, and unplugged the telephone in preparation for boning her.

3. Advice on How Not to Advise Women Not to Get Raped, in which Aaron P. Taylor rises again.

4. CVS: Where Freed Condoms Go to Die, in which condoming up is hard to do.

5. Inside a Date Rapist's Living Hell, in which warning women not to dance with you will make your life kind of suck, actually.

Last week on the Sexist:

1. An Open Letter to CVS "Sensitive Lady Products" Salespeople, in which small-talk is bad, but acknowledging I am a human being is good.

2. Breast Practices: Insider Tips From D.C.'s Greatest Erotic Photo Hunter, in which, boobs.

3. The Tenderoni Theory of Marriage, in which Chromeo, Michael Jackson, and Bobby Brown tell it like it isn't.

4. Inside Big Penis Dating Site "Seven or Better", in which there is too much information.

5. Welcome to the Anti-Gay Auditions, in which homophobia goes Hollywood.

Last week on the Sexist:

1. Welcome to the Anti-Gay Auditions! in which NOM NOM NOM!

2. Inside Big Penis Dating Site "Seven Or Better", in which "better" does not necessarily mean "better"

3. Menace to Sorority, in which the sorority is actually the menace

4. Breast Practices: Insider Tips from D.C.'s Greatest Erotic Photo Hunter, in which Earl finds the five differences

5. Big Penis Dating Site Reveals Inches Before First Date, in which

Photo by twodolla

Welcome to the Anti-Gay Auditions! Watch audition number three again, for laughs.

Observe and Report's Date Rape Apologism: If Seth Rogen date-rapes you in the forest, and nobody hears you puke, is he still a douchebag?

Why Sex Positivity is Bad for Feminism: Or great, whatever, I don't even have an opinion on this anymore.

Menace to Sorority: A transgender threat that rivals the gathering gay storm.

"AIDS the Gay Plague" Photo Corner: Anonymous Photoshopped homophobia.

Last week on the Sexist:

1. Menace to Sorority, in which sorority members insult fraternity members, and vice-versa, ad nauseum

2. Why Sex Positivity is Bad for Feminism, in which the sex-positivists descend upon me (pictured)

3. Indiana Bestiality Law Cracks Down on Deleted Dog Porn, in which we are all made dumber

4. The Great Mexican Cartoon Porn-Off Concludes!, in which I thank the Huffington Post for linking to me

5. Why Cougars And MILFs Are Not Hot, in which I defend my generation

Last week on the Sexist:

1. Menace to Sorority, in which this story just won't die!

2. Indiana Bestiality Law Cracks Down on Deleted Dog Porn, in which, aww, you guys shouldn't have. Really. This one was really popular.

3. The Great Mexican Cartoon Porn-Off, in which I review obscene Spanish-language cartoons, for the funnies.

4. Saws in Vaginas: Dangerous, in which I expound upon the obvious.

5. 6 Hour Power Secretary Ad: Sexy, Nonsensical, in which I review the sexiest television commercial "ever."

6. GLB against T: Who's Man Enough to Escape a Beating, in which lesbians gang up on transgender men.

7. Trans Slammer: Are D.C.'s Transgender Inmates Still Getting Screwed, in which yes, they are.

8. Pope Makes Unbelievably Offensive AIDS Trip to Africa, in which yes, he does.

9. The HIV Blame Game: We Debate, You Decide!, in which Black Informant and I definitively determine the cause of the continued spread of HIV!

10. The HIV Blame Game: Let the Debate Begin, in which we do that more.

Photo by Charles Steck.