The Manliest Workplace in D.C. competition continues. This week: Culture! Yesterday, the Founding Church of Scientology beat out the Washington National Cathedral to make it to the macho second round of the contest; earlier, the Washington Redskins handily swiped away the National Museum of Women in the Arts. Will the Smithsonian Institution or the National Symphony Orchestra go on to compete to be the manliest cultural institution in D.C.? Read on.

THE SMITHSONIAN INSTITUTION: The National Women’s History Museum thinks the Smithsonian doesn’t have enough exhibits that cater to the ladyfolk of eras past. But does this Mall-gobbling institution have the man goods where it counts? Let’s find out:

Secretary G. Wayne Clough (Male, 10 points)
Acting Under Secretary for Science Charles Alcock (Male, 9 points)
Acting Under Secretary for History, Art and Culture Richard Kurin (Male, 8 points)
Acting Under Secretary for Finance and Administration Alison McNally (Female, ZERO)
President, Smithsonian Enterprises Tom Ott (Male, 6 points)
Chief of Staff, Office of the Regents John K. Lapiana (Male, 5 points)
Chief Financial Officer Alice C. Maroni (Female, ZERO)
Director, External Affairs Virginia B. Clark (Female, ZERO)
Director, Communications and Public Affairs Evelyn S. Lieberman (Female, ZERO)
Director, Office of Equal Employment and Minority Affairs Era L. Marshall (Female, ZERO)

Founding fathers be damned! With only 38 out of 55 points on the manly index, the Smithsonian Institution registers a mere 69 percent manliness. Sexy Greek God George Washington would’ve smote you for this, Smith.
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NATIONAL SYMPHONY ORCHESTRA: There’s nothing manlier than a group of dudes tootin’ on wind instruments. Or is there?

Executive Director Rita Shapiro (Female, ZERO)
Conductor Ivan Fischer (Male, 9 points)
Chairman Mrs. Ann D. Jordan (Female, ZERO)
Vice Chairman Mr. Roger Sant (Male, 7 points)
President Mr. William L. Walton (Male, 6 points)
Vice President of Community Development Mrs. Anthony Welters (Female, ZERO)

Woah, woah, woah. Hold on there just a second, “Mrs.” Anthony Welters. My natural “fishy” instinct prompted me to call up the National Symphony and inquire as to the gender of this Vice President of Community Development. A press contact informed me that Mrs. Anthony was actually Beatrice Welters. Anthony is her husband. Still, the chutzpah of listing her husband’s name instead of her own in the staff directory has inspired me to add on an additional 10 manly points to the NSO. Carry on:

Vice President of Development Ms. Melissa A. Moss (Female, ZERO)
Vice President, Marketing Mr. Carl H. Oppenheim (Male, 3 points)
Director of Artistic Planning Nigel Boon (Male, 2 points)
Orchestra Manager Cynthia Pickett Steele (Female, ZERO)

Ouch! Even with the added manpower of a Mrs. Anthony Welters, the National Symphony Orchestra just misses the Smithsonian’s man-count with a 37 out of 55 on the manly index.

Tune in tomorrow when we wrap up the culture bracket!

Photo by Brent and MariLynn.

* Advanced Style, a street-style blog for the older set. Adorable, inspirational, and regularly updated, this elderly fashion watch is curated by three respectful whippersnappers.

* Jezebel asks if being a successful woman means staying single:

maybe if a woman’s got guts and determination, she “intimidates” men. So she either doesn’t get attached to a guy, or finds one who is content to live in her shadow. Oprah doesn’t have a husband, per se, but when’s the last time we heard anything about that Stedman guy? Anna Wintour? Divorced. Condoleezza Rice? Not married. Tyra? Single and looking to mingle. Angela Merkel? Wikipedia says, “Her second husband is quantum chemist and professor Joachim Sauer. He remains out of the spotlight” . . . While many men have careers in which they shine and the wife is content to stay in the background, it seems that women who live an ambitious life in the limelight rarely have a “quiet” husband at home.

Jezebel’s expounding, of course, on Madonna’s just-announced divorce from filmmaker Guy Ritchie. I wouldn’t assume that the end of this seven-and-a-half year marriage is a result of Ritchie not being able to “handle” Madonna—you probably know what you’re getting into with Madonna. Similarly, I would suggest that Tyra Banks‘ relationship status might not be wholly attributed to her “success.” A lot of marriages fail, successful, famous, or not. Still, I fully intend to co-opt the Stars: They’re just like us! treatment here and assert that by virtue of being a single woman, I am successful. It’s that easy!

* In the wake of Joe Wurzelbacher-gate, Radar imagines the inevitable “Joe Plumber” porn spoof:

Layin’ Pipe will feature five hard-core scenes, including a threeway with other pander-worthy icons, namely Mother of Iraqi Solider Against the War and Teacher In Tennessee Who Can’t Afford Her Parents’ Nursing Home. Bob Schieffer will also be spoofed as the announcer who dishes the sex action that will take place during the film.

Yeah, well, as long as he isn’t portrayed by the lame, pathetically in-shape dude who hangs around the smoothie/tanning salon, I may be interested.

* Plus, what else might “Joe the Plumber” be hiding from the American People? Josh Levin for Slate has your non-pornographic predictions.

* Okay, one reason to have kids:

Photo from Advanced Style.

The Manliest Workplace in D.C. tournament is live! Over the next several weeks, the Sexist will be rating 64 D.C. organizations to find the manliest local workplace—the one that employs the most men, all the time, and in the highest positions. Who’s manlier—the National Cathedral or the Founding Church of Scientology? The Supreme Court or the U.S. Postal Service? Only the Sexist’s unsophisticated and highly arbitrary ranking system knows for sure.

Stay tuned with The Sexist as the tournament continues to see which workplaces are manly enough to ignore all those pesky cracks in the glass ceiling. Also stay tuned for Crack Watch!—where we tally the number of women we find creeping into the org. charts of D.C. institutions.

Think you know manly from mannish? Fill out a bracket by Monday, Oct. 20, to be submitted in our contest. The entrant with the bracket that most closely resembles the Sexist’s findings will win a City Paper prize pack!