Anyway, Georgetown University proved itself almost perfectly manly in the contest, with nine out of ten of the institution’s top staffers men. But a new report from campus blog Vox Populi reveals that—say it ain’t so!—the Man Madness tournament was perhaps less-than-thorough.

Vox Pop looked “beyond the top ten” to find that Georgetown’s leadership is actually surprisingly balanced, gender-wise.  Juliana Brint found that “women hold a majority of positions in the administration of the College, the SFS and the NHS, and also constitute a majority of academic department leaders in NHS and in the College’s humanities programs“—though the school’s science departments, administrators, and school of business are still male-heavy. Brint’s most intriguing finding concerned the contrast between the gender-make up of staffs managed by men versus staffs managed by women:

Interestingly, areas that are mostly female-run tend to be more equally divided, with between 48 and 37 percent of the positions filled by men; male-dominated areas are more polarized, with only 30 percent or less of the positions filled by women.

But don’t take my word for it—they’ve got graphs!

Last week we narrowed down D.C.’s workplaces to the four manliest organizations in the District (okay, due to several close manly ties, it was really six). They are: conservative moonie news source The Washington Times; obscure U.S. representative body the Senate; a whole bunch of unionized dudes; and bald eagle/Ronald Reagan advocacy group Citizens United (relive the madness with the full 64-workplace bracket here).

Now, it’s time to fight out the ties of our top-tier man-stitutions and crown a winner! First off: The Washington Times vs. Senate. This contest is an easy one—the Senate is perfect, the Times is not—sending the Cheney-Biden squadron of male lawmakers into the finals. The Unions vs. Citizens United face-off presents a tougher fight—three perfectly manly unions (United Union of Roofers, Waterproofers, and Allied Workers; International Brotherhood of Electrical Workers; International Brotherhood of Teamsters) versus a perfectly manly conservative advocacy organization. Add in the Senate, and that’s five perfectly manly D.C. workplaces! How ever will I choose between them?

Indiscriminantly! I’ll grade these five remaining workplaces on these three factors, on a scale from one to ten:

1. Manliness in Name
2. Manliness in Purpose
3. Enduring Manliness

Let’s see how they do!

THE SENATE:

1. Manliness in Name. According to internationally renowned reliable resource Wikipedia, “The word senatorial is derived from the Latin word senātus (senate), which comes from senex, “old man.” 10 POINTS.

2. Manliness in Purpose. The Senate is the upper house of Congress, and takes on such manly duties as deciding things and appointing people. Some of its duties, however, are downright feminine. “Consenting” to treaties? The manly decide. The feminine consent. 5 POINTS

3. Enduring Manliness. The Senate has been going strong for 220 years. However, the Senate’s manliness has been receding steadily since 1922, 1922 when Rebecca Felton—a lady!—temporarily filled a senate vacancy for two days. 6 POINTS.

TOTAL: 21 POINTS

UNITED UNION OF ROOFERS, WATERPROOFERS, AND ALLIED WORKERS:

1. Manliness in Name. Roofers, Waterproofers, Men.  8 POINTS.

2. Manliness in Purpose. This union works to “organize workers” (manly) and work with “various groups on safety and health issues” (hardly). 3 POINTS

3. Enduring Manliness. This union’s roots only go back so far as a 1903 AFL charter. However, the union has this to say about its history: “Roofs have been necessary since our ancestors first stepped out of their caves and began building shelters using indigenous materials.” I’m convinced. 9 POINTS.

TOTAL: 20 POINTS

INTERNATIONAL BROTHERHOOD OF ELECTRICAL WORKERS:

1. Manliness in Name: Brotherhood, bro. 8 POINTS.

2. Manliness in Purpose: The Brotherhood “represents some 725,000 members in construction, utilities, manufacturing, telecommunications, broadcasting, railroads and government.” That’s a lot of men! 9 POINTS.

3. Enduring Manliness. The Brotherhood claims that as far back as 1890, the IBEW “Dream is Born.” On the one hand, that’s a long time for manliness to endure. On the other hand, “dream” is nothing other than the idle dilly-dallying of those who cannot “do.” ZERO POINTS.

TOTAL: 17 POINTS

INTERNATIONAL BROTHERHOOD OF TEAMSTERS:

1. Manliness in Name. Brotherhood, brah. 8 POINTS.

2. Manliness in Purpose. The Teamsters not only represent the nation’s transportation and “freight-related” workers—they also built Las Vegas! Plus, funnest Teamster ever, Jimmy Hoffa, went to prison before mysteriously disappearing, earning him a prominent spot in the Encyclopedia of Manliness. 10 POINTS.

3. Enduring Manliness. Then again, Hoffa’s been “missing” for 33 years. ZERO POINTS.

TOTAL: 18 POINTS

CITIZENS UNITED

1. Manliness in Name. I see a missed opportunity: Male Citizens United? Citizens Man-nited? Manly Man Men? Get real. ZERO POINTS.

2. Manliness in Purpose. Citizens United aims to restore “traditional American values” set down by the “founding fathers,” including “strong families.” Read: Man, man, man, man, man! 10 POINTS.

3. Enduring Manliness. Citizens United was founded in 1988, which doesn’t give it a very manly track record. Hell, it’s younger than me (a woman)! However, perhaps we can see CU’s relatively recent formation as a sign that America’s manliness is still healthy enough to spawn another inane right-wing advocacy group. 8 POINTS.

TOTAL: 18 POINTS

That leaves only the victor: the incomparably manly:

U.S. SENATE!!!!1

Yes, yes, rah rah, celebrate now, U.S. Senate—women’s rights activist Joe Biden will be lording over your activities soon enough! Then where will you be? Utter mannishness!

(It’s not over just yet—later this week, I’ll announce the winner of our fill-in bracket competition).

Well, folks, it’s been a long, hard trudge up Man Mountain in this, the first-ever Manliest Workplace in D.C. Competition. Mannishness was shunned! Femininity was ignored! And now,we’ve finally whittled our 64-workplace bracket down to eight crowned Captains of Industry who are proud to call themselves Men. Behold, the Emasculating Eight!

MEDIA: The Washington Times (52 points)
CULTURE: Washington Redskins, the Smithsonian (TIE, 38 points)
FEDERAL GOVERNMENT: The Senate (PERFECTION)
LOCAL GOVERNMENT: Fenty’s Cabinet (47 points)
LEGAL: Jones Day (88 percent manliness, or 48 points)
UNION: United Union of Roofers, Waterproofers, International Brotherhood of Electrical Workers, International Brotherhood of Teamsters (A TRIUMVIRATE OF TIED PERFECT SCORES)
ACADEMIA: Georgetown University (54 points)
ADVOCACY: Citizens United (PERFECTION)

For those filling out their brackets at home, those stats leave us with a final Fleshy Four of conservative moonie news source The Washington Times, obscure U.S. representative body the Senate, a whole bunch of unionized dudes, and bald eagle / Ronald Reagan advocacy group Citizens United. Who shall be victor (hint: not the Times!)? That depends on how each Fleshy Four candidate performs in the Sexist’s Manly FEATS OF STRENGTH (arbitrary decidey-things)!

On Monday, I’ll announce the tie-breakers between our five perfectly manly workplaces, and reveal the winner of our stay-at-home bracket-fill-out contest!

1. Is This Man Your Ticket to the Inauguration?
2. Man Madness: Brookings Institution Vs. Georgetown University
3. The Morning After: Go G0y! Edition
4. The Manliest Workplace Competition
5. eHarmony Fail

Photo via trialsanderrors.

CITIZENS UNITED: Citizens United aims to “reassert the traditional American values of limited government, freedom of enterprise, strong families, and” blah dee blah dee blah, booooring. But look at that shining bald eagle logo (pictured)! I can’t stay mad at you, Citizens United. Go ahead. Show me your men (again, information about this nonprofit comes from its 2006 990 form, as well as from its staff list on its Web site):

President David N. Bossie (Male, 10 points)
Vice President Michael Boos (Male, 9 points)
Chairman Floyd Brown (Male, 8 points)
Media Consultant Brian Berry (Male, 7 points)
Secretary-Treasurer Douglas L. Ramsey (Male, 6 points)
Director Ron Robinson (Male, 5 points)
Director John Bliss (Male, 4 points)
Director Kirby Wilbur (Male, 3 points)

Though Citizens United only lists eight staffers, its showing is so impressive, I’m going to go ahead and take its word for it and give the org. a 100 percent on the Manly Index. That’s 55 out of the possible 55 points—all of them. In at the buzzer, Citizen United takes the advocacy bracket! You guys are going to the finals! That is, as long as you can soundly destroy the folks over at . . .

D.C. VOTE: These people would be just ecstatic if they every person in dee-cee was represented in Congress by someone who could like, vote and shit, and didn’t have to ineffectually brandish their token Senate badges in front of traffic cops when they got pulled over for Duis, which they are Certainly Not Very Guilty Of. Hmm, sounds rather progressive, I’m not sure how many this whole—SHOW ME YOUR MEN!

Executive Dir. Ilir Zherka (Male, 10 points)
Chair Bruce Spiva (Male, 9 points)
Vice Chair Lorelie S. Masters (Female, ZERO)
Treasurer Elizabeth A. Allen (Female, ZERO)
Secretary John Klenert (Male, 6 points)
Comm. & Devel. Dir. Kevin Kiger (Male, 5 points)
Outreach Dir. Eugene Dewitt Kinlow (Male, 4 points)
Operations Dir. Antonette E. Russell (Female, ZERO)
Comm. Manager Jaline Quinto (Female, ZERO)
Outreach Associate Erica Spell (Female, ZERO)

With 34 minutes out of a possible 55, D.C. Vote casts its ballot for mediocrity! CITIZENS UNITED IT IS! Return next week when we get this whole business tied up in a manly little bow and declare the ultimate victor!

We’re winding down the Manliest Workplace in D.C. Tournament this week with the District’s most self-righteous employment sector—the advocacy groups! (Reminisce with the full 64-workplace bracket here). Today: Who’s manlier, unborn advocates the American Life League or intrepid future sailors the Environmental Defense Fund? Let’s find out!

AMERICAN LIFE LEAGUE: This Stafford, Va. nonprofit is “committed to the protection of all innocent human beings from fertilization to death.” But are they committed to those guilty of undeniable manliness? Let’s find out! (All staff informaion comes from the ALL’s most recently available 990, that from 2006):

President Judie Brown (Female, ZERO)
Exec. Director David Bereit (Male, 9 points)
Executive VP Paul Brown (Male, 8 points)
Secretary Scarlett Clarke (Female, ZERO)
Treasurer Joseph Pavlik (Male, 6 points)
Director Robert Sassone (Male, 5 points)
Dir. Operations David Brandao (Male, 4 points)
Sr. Dir. Development Margaret Guelich (Female, ZERO)
Dir. of Development Craig Kapp (Male, 2 points)
Webmaster Jason Manak (Male, 1 point)

Aborted! With 35 points out of a possible 55 on the Manly Index, the American Life League looks poised to die on the vine. Give us your best, Environmental Defense Fund!

—

ENVIRONMENTAL DEFENSE FUND: Is this environmental non-prof as committed to defending Man as it is Mother Nature? To the org. chart!

President Fred Krupp (Male, 10 points)
Executive Director David Yarnold (Male, 9 points)
Chairman N. J. Nicholas, Jr. (Male, 8 points)
Chairman Elect Carl Ferenbach (Male, 7 points)
Vice Chairman Jane Lubchenco, Ph.D. (Female, ZERO)
Vice Chairman Robert W. Wilson (Male, 5 points)
Senior VP for Programs Marcia Aronoff (Female, ZERO)
COO Liza Henshaw (Female, ZERO)
CFO & Treasurer Peter Accinno (Male, 2 points)
Secretary Arthur P. Cooley (Male, 1 point)

With 42 points of a possible 55, the Environmental Defense Fund goes on the offense against the American Life League, and continues on to the next stage of the contest. Tomorrow, stay tuned as we wrap up the advocacy bracket—and the tournament!

Photo by BohPhoto.

Welcome to the final bracket of the Manliest Workplace in D.C. Competition! Well, well, it’s sure been a wild ride, hasn’t it, what with the whatsits in the Union bracket and the whosits in Government (Relive the glory of the full 64-workplace bracket here). This week: Advocacy groups compete for final D.C. do-man-ation!

Get it?

HUMAN RIGHTS CAMPAIGN: There’s nothing manlier than Human, am I right ladies? Or am I wrong? I’ve culled the top positions from the HRC’s staff chart, along with its four D.C.-based board members, to find out. Let’s go to the standings!

President Joe Solmonese (Male, 10 points)
Managing Director Susanne Salkind (Female, ZERO)
Board Member Kim Allman (Female, ZERO)
Board Member Marjorie Chorlins (Female, ZERO)
Board Member John Isa (Male, 6 points)
Board Member Mary Snider (Female, ZERO)
Ctr. for the Study of Equality Manager Ché Juan Gonzales Tabisola (Male, 4 points)
Senior Communications Manager Michael Cole (Male, 3 points)
Assoc. Dir. for Diversity Donna Payne (Female, ZERO)
Assoc. Dir. for Diversity Allyson Robinson (Female, ZERO)

With 23 out of a possible 55, the HRC is mannish at best. But maybe—just maybe—that’s enough to pull an underdog, Cinderella, half-court at the buzzer victory in the advocacy bracket which, let’s face it, is pathetically girly next to say, the Teamsters.

—

EMILY’S LIST: This D.C.-based advocacy org. supports pro-choice women in politics. You know what that means: As a traditionally female workplace, EMILY’s List qualifies for the Sexist’s Affirmative Action clause, earning it an instant extra ten points atop its surely pathetic man standing. A hasty once-over of the org. chart could only locate five top staff, so I’ve doubled the score and added the bonus. Let’s get this over with:

President and Founder Ellen R. Malcolm (Female, ZERO)
Executive Director Ellen Moran (Female, ZERO)
Chief of Staff Britt Cocanour (Female, ZERO)
WOMEN VOTE! Director Maren Hesla (Female, ZERO)
Political Director Jonathan Parker (Male, 6 points)

With 22 points (6*2 + 10) out of a possible 55, EMILY’s List registers a few cracks in D.C.’s glass ceiling, but it just barely falls to the mighty HRC. Tomorrow: Will the American Conservative Union prove manlier than HIPS (also a traditionally female workplace)? Only HR knows for sure!

Photo by the wonderfully comprehensive NCinDC.

Today, we recap the thinky bracket in our Manliest Workplace in D.C. tournament (See the full 64-workplace bracket here). It was a close contest—complete with stunning revelations of clandestine manliness—and Georgetown University came out on top with 54 out of 55 points on the manly index. Hoya Saxa! Unfortunately for the Bulldogs, this is as far as GU will go—in the end, no academic institution managed a perfect score like the U.S. Senate or several of our union contenders. Here are the standings, anyway.

Tomorrow, tune in for the debut of our eighth and final workplace bracket—D.C.’s advocacy organizations. Will the Human Rights Campaign out-man Emily’s List? Will the American Life League destroy the Environmental Defense Fund? Find out this week.

1. Is This Man Your Ticket to the Inauguration?
2. Advice on How Not to Advise Women Not to Get Raped
3. Man Madness: Brookings Institution vs. Georgetown University
4. Man Madness: Heritage Foundation Vs. Howard University
5. Sean Avery’s “Sloppy Seconds”: A Pansy’s Insult

Photo by trialsanderrors.

Today wraps up the intellectual bracket of the Manliest Workplace in D.C. tournament (See the full 64-workplace bracket here). Right now: The Center for American Progress takes on American University. Which org puts the man in A(m)eric(an)? How much longer can I sustain strained wordplay on the term “man,” “man”? Let’s find out!

CENTER FOR AMERICAN PROGRESS: This local think tank is dedicated to “improving” American lives through “ideas” and “action.” But can they put the man in “ideas” and/or “action,” to words that, in fact, do not hold the necessary letters to form the word “man”? To the org chart!

President and CEO John Podesta (Male, 10 points)
Exec. VP for Management Sarah Wartell (Female, ZERO)
Senior Fellow Laura Nichols (Female, ZERO)
Senior VP for Comm. Jennifer Palmieri (Female, ZERO)
Chief of Staff Peter Ogden (Male, 6 points)
Senior VP Nat’l Security & Int’l Pol. Rudy deLeon (Male, 5 points)
Senior VP for Development Debby Goldberg (Female, ZERO)
Senior VP and Dir. California Nina Hachigian (Female, ZERO)
Senior VP and Dir. Campus Progress David Halperin (Male, 2 points)
Senior VP for Online Andrew Sherry (Male, 1 point)

You call this progress? Twenty-four points out of a possible 55.

AMERICAN UNIVERSITY: Established by an act of Congress in 1893, this private institution is a shining beacon of United Methodism upon the banks of Nebraska and Massachusetts Avenues NW. But is there a method to its Man Madness? Let’s find out!

President Cornelius Kerwin (Male, 10 points)
Chairman of the Board Gary M. Abramson (Male, 9 points)
Provost Scott A. Bass (Male, 8 points)
Vice Chairman Thomas A. Gottschalk (Male, 7 points)
Exec Dir. Communications Terry Flannery (Female, ZERO)
VP of Campus Life Gail Short Hanson (Female, ZERO)
VP, General Counsel Mary E. Kennard (Female, ZERO)
VP of Development Thomas J. Minar (Male, 3 points)
VP of Finance, Treasurer Donald L. Myers (Male, 2 points)
Chief of Staff David Taylor (Male, 1 point)

With 40 points out of a possible 55, American University is a poor man’s Manly Institution, but it’s enough to advance this private U to the next round. Next week, we recap up the thinky bracket—and wrap up the tournament!—as the District’s advocacy organizations prove which side of the gender divide they’re really on.

The thinky portion of the Manliest Workplace in D.C. tournament continues today as Brookings challenges Georgetown for intellectual man dominance (See the full 64-workplace bracket here). So put on your thinking caps, four-eyes, and lets get to the competition!

BROOKINGS INSTITUTION: This D.C. think tank aims to “Strengthen American democracy, foster the economic and social welfare, security and opportunity of all Americans and secure a more open, safe, prosperous and cooperative international system.” But what is its position on strengthening and fostering our nation’s shrinking reserve of Manliness?
President Strobe Talbott (Male, 15 points*)
Chairman of the Board John L. Thornton (Male, 9 points)
Managing Director William Antholis (Male, 8 points)
VP, Dir. of Econ. and Devel. Lael Brainard (Female, ZERO)
VP, Dir. of Brookings Press Robert L. Faherty (Male, 6 points)
VP, Dir. of Econ. Studies William Gale (Male, 5 points)
VP, Dir. of Met. Policy Bruce Katz (Male, 4 points)
VP, Dir. of Foreign Policy Studies Carlos Pascual (Male, 3 points)
Treasurer and VP Frederick L. Silbernagel III (Male, 2 points)
VP for Comm. Melissa Skolfield (Female, ZERO)

* Extra point administered to all named “Strobe”

The Brookings Institution may not have a chance at competing with such perfectly scored institutions as the U.S. Senate and the Teamsters (thanks, Lael and Melissa). But I’m feeling saucy today, so I went ahead and administered an extra few point to Brookings’ president, whose name alone is a flashing beacon of manliness in a nation compromised by womanhood. Strobe brings Brookings’ manly total to 52 of 55 points.

—

GEORGETOWN UNIVERSITY: Though the mascot of D.C.’s most prestigious university, the Hoya (or “What”), reeks of namby-pamby intellectualism, its unofficial representative, the Bulldog (or “Mean, Scrappy Animal”) restores the institution’s manliness.

President John J. DeGioia (Male, 10 points)
Provost James J. O’Donnell (Male, 9 points)
Interim Dean, G’town College Chester L. Gillis (Male, 8 points)
Dean, Grad. School Timothy A. Barbari (Male, 7 points)
Dean, Walsh School Robert L. Gallucci (Male, 6 points)
Dean, McDonough School George G. Daly (Male, 5 points)
Dean, School of Contin. Studies Robert L. Manuel (Male, 4 points)
Dean of Students Todd A. Olson (Male, 3 points)
Director of Athletics Bernard M. Muir (Male, 2 points)
Office of Int’l Prog. Dir. Katherine Bellows (Female, ZERO)

Even devoid of a single Strobe, Georgetown registers a very strong showing of 54 out of a possible 55 points on the manly index. Brookings—pwned! Tune in tomorrow when we wrap up the smarts bracket as the Center of American Progress takes on American University.

Photo by NCinDC.

It’s day two in the thinky bracket of our Manliest Workplace in D.C. tournament, where our nation’s capital’s think tanks take on its academics in a fight for utter non-femininity (see the full 64-workplace bracket here)! This time: Will those Libertarian scallywags over at the Cato Institute prove brawnier than the George Washington University’s spoiled brats? Wow! Neither of them sound very manly!

THE CATO INSTITUTE: When they’re not scamming for dates on the Atlasphere or posting on CityDesk, Libertarians do some pretty serious mental heavy lifting about, like, free will or something, I don’t really know. But do they have the will to employ more males than females? Let’s find out!

President Edward H. Crane (Male, 10 points)
Chairman Robert A. Levy (Male, 9 points)
Chairman Emeritus William A. Niskanen (Male, 8 points)
VP for Comm. Khristine Brookes (Female, ZERO)
VP for Development Lesley Albanese (Female, ZERO)
Dir. of Gov. Affairs Brandon Arnold (Male, 5 points)
Man. of Gov. Affairs Kurt Couchman (Male, 4 points)
Man. of Ext. Relations Nicole Kurokawa (Female, ZERO)
VP for Finance Bill Erickson (Male, 2 points)
VP Gene Healy (Male, 1 point)

As my high school economics teacher always said, there is no such thing as a free pass in the Manliest Workplace in D.C. Tournament (TINSTAAFPITMWIDCT)! With 39 points out of the manliest 55, the Cato Institute exceeds mere manliness. But is it enough to administer a smackdown of Rand-ian proportions to . . .

THE GEORGE WASHINGTON UNIVERSITY? My alma mater, which, despite what members of my extended family may tell you, is not Georgetown, boasts a 56 percent female student body. But what of the bodies in its top positions?

President Stephen Knapp (Male, 10 points)
Chairman of the Board W. Russell Ramsey (Male, 9 points)
Executive VP and Treasurer Louis H. Katz (Male, 8 points)
Executive VP for Academics Donald R. Lehman (Male, 7 points)
Senior VP and General Counsel Beth Nolan (Female, ZERO)
Senior VP Robert A. Chernak (Male, 5 points)
VP for Communications Michael Freedman (Male, 4 points)
VP for Development Laurel Price Jones (Female, ZERO)
VP Human Resources Val Monroe Berry (Male, 2 points)
Provost John F. Williams (Male, 1 point)

With 46 points out of a possible 55, the Colonials edge out Cato to go on to the second round. Tomorrow: Georgetown University’s fancy Catholics take on the Brookings Institution’s “left-liberal inclined” thinkers!

Photo by, appropriately, philosophygeek.

Yesterday, we kicked off the Think Tank/Academia portion of our Manliest Workplace in D.C. contest with a hot contest between 1st seed the Heritage Foundation and 8th seed Howard University. The Heritage Foundation won handily with 48 points to Howard’s 41. But it turns out there were even more men lurking in the Heritage Foundation’s org chart. Ken McIntyre, Marilyn and Fred Guardabassi Fellow in Media and Public Policy Studies, just wrote in to note that “Kim Holmes, VP for foreign policy studies at The Heritage Foundation, is every inch a MAN,” and noting, “Dudes, you blew it.”

Dudes, please accept my sincerest apologies for slighting the manliness of your organization. The Heritage Foundation’s score has been upgraded to an even manlier 49 points out of a possible 55, and the record has been corrected. Good luck in the next round!

Welcome back to the Manliest Workplace in D.C. tournament, wherein our nation’s capital This week, it’s time for the eggheads show off their puny man muscles as the District’s think tanks face off against its universities (see the full 64-workplace bracket here). Class is in session!

THE HERITAGE FOUNDATION: This conservative think tank claims to be “committed to building an America where freedom, opportunity, prosperity and civil society flourish.” But will the Ghost of Ronald Reagan be enough to prove this institution’s commitment to manliness? To the org chart:

President Edwin J. Feulner (Male, 10 points)
Chairman David R. Brown (Male, 9 points)
Executive VP Phillip N. Truluck (Male, 8 points)
Vice Chairman Richard M. Scaife (Male, 7 points)
Secretary J. Frederic Rench (Male, 6 points)
VP Stuart M. Butler (Male, 5 points)
VP Becky Norton Dunlop (Female, ZERO
VP Michael Franc (Male, 3 points)
VP Rebecca Hagelin (Female, ZERO)
VP Kim Holmes (Female, ZERO Totally a dude, 1 point)

Impressive argument! (Note I have very little idea how people within think tanks might actually congratulate each other). With 48 points out of 55 possible manly points, the Heritage Foundation proves it is descended from the lineage of Man. Might any local university replicate the Foundation’s feat? Let’s find out:

HOWARD UNIVERSITY: Established by charter in 1867, the District’s historically black university emerged from the ashes of the Civil War to play significant roles in the Harlem Renaissance and the Civil Rights Movement. But how many dudes work there?

President Sidney A. Ribeau (Male, 10 points)
Interim Provost Alvin Thornton, Ph.D. (Male, 9 points)
Senior VP Hassan Minor (Male, 8 points)
Senior VP Artis Hampshire-Cowan (Female, ZERO)
Senior VP Sidney H. Evans (Male, 6 points)
More Contacts…Senior VP Donald E. Wilson (Male, 5 points)
General Counsel Norma Leftwich (Female, ZERO)
VP Virgil Ecton (Male, 3 points)
Acting VP Florence Bonner (Female, ZERO)
VP Elizabeth Stroud (Female, ZERO)

Class dismissed! With 41 points on the manly index, Howard U. falls to the Heritage Foundation by a margin of 7 points. Tune in tomorrow, when libertarian stronghold the Cato Institute takes on rich kid mecca The George Washington University!

Photo by cliff1066.

Things got heated in the manliest workplace in D.C. tournament last week, as the District’s unions and guilds faced off to go on to the finals. Things are still undecided here as three workplaces scored perfectly on the manly index—all men in the highest jobs, all the time. Here’s a recap:

Game 1: United Union of Roofers, Waterproofers and Allied Workers (PERFECT SCORE) Vs. Washington-Baltimore Newspaper Guild
Game 2: International Brotherhood of Electrical Workers (PERFECT SCORE) Vs. AFL-CIO
Game 3: International Brotherhood of Teamsters (PERFECT SCORE) Vs. United Food and Commercial Workers International Union
Game 4: National Association of Letter Carriers Vs. Service Employees International Union

We’ve got a three-way perfect-score tie here between the roofers, the electrical workers, the Teamsters. Those workplaces will face off against our other perfectly scored employer—the U.S. Senate—in the finals. Later this week, D.C.’s think tanks and universities go under the man microscope.

Today, we wrap up the union division of the Manliest Workplace in D.C. tournament (see the full 64 workplace bracket here). Three unions (the Teamsters, the International Brotherhood of Electrical Workers, and the United Union of Roofers, Waterproofers, and Allied Workers) have already registered perfect scores on the manly index, staffing all men in the highest positions all the time. Of the tournament’s non-union competitors, only the U.S. Senate has managed that feat. Will the National Association of Letter Carriers or the Service Employees International Union have what it takes to compete for perfection? Let’s find out!

NATIONAL ASSOCIATION OF LETTER CARRIERS: Conveniently, the NALC has ten National Resident Officers. But how many men can it deliver?

President William H. Young, (Male, 10 points)
Executive VP Fredric V. Rolando (Male, 9 points)
Vice President Gary H. Mullins (Male, 8 points)
Secretary-Treasurer Jane E. Broendel (Female, ZERO)
Asst. Secretary-Treasurer George C. Mignosi (Male, 6 points)
Dir. of City Delivery Dale P. Hart (Male, 5 points)
Dir. of Safety and Health Brian E. Hellman (Male, 4 points)
Dir. of Retired Members Ernie Kirkland (Male, 3 points)
Dir. Health Benefit Plan Timothy C. O’Malley (Male, 2 points)
Dir. of Life Insurance Myra Warren (Female, ZERO)

Denied. Sure, with 47 out of a possible 55 manly points, these letter carriers are pretty dang manly. But this is the labor bracket we’re talking about!

SERVICE EMPLOYEES INTERNATIONAL UNION: The folks over at the SEIU have only got eight top brass positions. But I think it’s pretty clear . . .

President Andy Stern (Male, 10 points)
Secretary-Treasurer Anna Burger (Female, ZERO)
Exec. VP Annelle Grajeda (Female, ZERO)
Exec. VP Mary Kay Henry (Female, ZERO)
Exec. VP Gerry Hudson (Male, 6 points)
Exec. VP Eliseo Medina (Male, 5 points)
Exec. VP Dave Regan (Male, 4 points)
Exec. VP Tom Woodruff (Male, 3 points)

. . . that they weren’t going to be making it anyway. Letter carriers for the win!

* Barn photo by kimberlyfaye.

Welcome back to the union bracket of the Manliest Workplace in D.C. tournament, where 64 local workplaces vie to be the manliest. This afternoon, the granddaddy of all Brotherhoods—the Teamsters—faces off against the heady brew of the United Food and Commercial Workers International Union. To the org charts!

INTERNATIONAL BROTHERHOOD OF TEAMSTERS: Jimmy Hoffa may be several decades “missing,” but the Teamsters still have a lot of men around who aren’t sleeping with the fishes:

General President James P. Hoffa (Male, 10 points)
General Secretary-Treasurer C. Thomas Keegel (Male, 9 points)
Executive Board Member Randy Cammack (Male, 8 points)
Executive Board Member Fred Gegare (Male, 7 points)
Executive Board Member Ken Hall (Male, 6 points)
Executive Board Member Carroll E. Haynes (Male, 5 points)
Executive Board Member Fred Potter (Male, 4 points)
Executive Board Member Fred Simpson (Male, 3 points)
Executive Board Member George Tedeschi (Male, 2 points)
Executive Board Member Jack Cipriani (Male, 1 point)

That’s our third perfect man chart this week! Finally, the U.S. Senate gets some real competition!

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UNITED FOOD AND COMMERCIAL WORKERS INTERNATIONAL UNION: Mmmm, men!

International President Joseph T. Hansen (Male, 10 points)
International Secretary-Treasurer Anthony M. Perrone (Male, 9 points)
Executive Vice President William T. McDonough (Male, 8 points)
Executive Vice President Patrick J. O’Neill (Male, 7 points)
Executive Vice President Wayne E. Hanley (Male, 6 points)
Local President C. James Lowthers (Male, 5 points)
Local Secretary/Treasurer Thomas P. McNutt (Male, 4 points)
Local Recorder Sue McQuain (Male, 3 points)
Local Executive Board Member Rose Bell (Female, ZERO)
Local Executive Board Member Mike Boyle (Male, 1 point)

With a hearty 53 out of 55 points on the manly index, the United Food and Commercial Workers International Union is impressively manly—but that just doesn’t cut it in the cutthroat world of unions and guilds, three of which so far are perfectly manly. Tune in on Friday to see who shall be victorious in this highly contested bracket.

Welcome back to the Manliest Workplace in D.C. tournament, where 64 local workplaces compete for top serious manliness. This week’s competitors: D.C.’s unions and guilds. So put on your brass knuckles and get ready

INTERNATIONAL BROTHERHOOD OF ELECTRICAL WORKERS: This brotherhood establishes its inherent manliness in its very name. But does it have the man-voltage to win this competition? Or will it burn out in a fantastical display of feminine electric sparkle? Let’s find out!

International President Edwin D. Hill (Male, 10 points)
International Secretary-Treasurer Lindell K. Lee (Male, 9 points)
International VP Philip Flemming (Male, 8 points)
International VP Frank Carroll (Male, 7 points)
International VP Donald Siegel (Male, 6 points)
International VP Salvatore J. Chilia (Male, 5 points)
International VP Joseph S. Davis (Male, 4 points)
International VP Joseph F. Lohman (Male, 3 points)
International VP Ted C. Jensen (Male, 2 points)
International VP Jonathan B. Gardner (Male, 1 point)

Looks like we have another perfect score. This is gonna get ugly!

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AFL-CIO: Will the labor union’s union scrounge up enough men to beat out the electricians’ brawn? Below, the AFL-CIO’s top national officers—filled out with its Executive Council members, in alphabetical order:

President John J. Sweeney (Male, 10 points)
Executive Vice President Arlene Holt Baker (Female, ZERO)
Secretary-Treasurer Richard L. Trumka (Male, 8 points)
Building & Construction Mark Ayers (Male, 7 points)
AFGE Andrea E. Brooks (Female, ZERO)
Machinists R. Thomas Buffenbarger (Male, 5 points)
UAW Elizabeth Bunn (Female, ZERO)
Postal Workers William Burrus (Male, 3 points)
Communications Workers of America Larry Cohen (Male, 2 points)
United American Nurses Ann Converso (Female, ZERO)

AFL-CI-Uh-Oh! With 35 points out of a possible 55, the AFL-CIO falls to the IBEW. But watch out, boys—next up are the Teamsters!

Photo by dbrulz123.

We delve deep into Man Territory in the Manliest Workplace in D.C. tournament this week as union workers fight for the right to be manly (See the full 64-workplace bracket here). But will these unions’ org charts prove as manly as their storied muscley dispositions? Let’s find out!

UNITED UNION OF ROOFERS, WATERPROOFERS, AND ALLIED WORKERS: What manliness lurks inside the combined coffers of the world’s roofers, waterproofers, and allied workers? Behold!

International President Kinsey M. Robinson (Male, 10 points)
International Secretary-Treasurer Robert J. Danley (Male, 9 points)
First Vice President Donald Cardwell (Male, 8 points)
Second Vice President Douglas Ziegler (Male, 7 points)
Third Vice President Thomas Pedrick (Male, 6 points)
Fourth Vice President Paul F. Bickford (Male, 5 points)
Fifth Vice President James A. Hadel (Male, 4 points)
Sixth Vice President Donald A. O’Blenis (Male, 3 points)
Seventh Vice President Richard R. Mathis (Male, 2 points)
Eighth Vice President Daniel P. O’Donnell (Male, 1 point)

Water and female-proofed? Bonus! With 55 points out of 55 on the manly index, the UURWAW is as manly as possible. But don’t get that trophy case roofed and waterproofed just yet—there are seven more unions ready to compete for a tie. Including:

THE WASHINGTON-BALTIMORE NEWSPAPER GUILD: Yeah, well, I’m pretty sure this union’s not going to be the one to do it. Roll out your men anyway:

President Bill Salganik (Male, 10 points)
Vice President J. Darlene Meyer (Female, ZERO)
Secretary Mark Pattis (Male, 8 points)
Treasurer Sheila Lindsay (Female, ZERO)
Chair Mark Gruenberg (Male, 6 points)
Chair Angela Kuhl (Female, ZERO)
Chair Amy Lampkin (Female, ZERO)
Chair Reza Namdar (Male, 3 points)
Chair Robert Pierre (Male, 2 points)
Chair Andre Roberson (Male, 1 points)

No wonder newspapers are failing. Extra, extra. Thirty points on the manly index. Middling manliness, read all about it.

Poofs by pizzodisevo.

The Manliest Workplace in D.C. continued last week, as D.C.’s biggest firms were submitted to the powerful and dangerous force of my manly whim. In a cold and calculated assault, I, well, calculated the percentage of male partners employed in these firms’ local offices. Lets go to the stats (winners in bold):

Game 1: Covington & Burling (79.4 percent) vs. Steptoe & Johnson (80.9 percent)
Game 2: Wilmer Cutler Pickering Hale & Dorr (74.6 percent) vs. Akin Gump Strauss Hauer & Feld (88.2 percent)
Game 3: Williams & Connolly (86.4 percent) vs. Hogan & Hartson (75 percent)
Game 4: Arnold & Porter (77.8 percent) vs. Jones Day (88 percent)

Jones Day, with an impressive 88 percent manliness, will go on to face D.C.’s manliest in the final round. (See the full 64-workplace bracket here).

Welcome back to the Manliest Workplace in D.C. Tournament. The winner of the legal bracket will be decided today, as the arsenal of partners at Arnold & Porter faces off against the hired guns at Jones Day. (See the full 64-workplace bracket here). Will Arnie and Port be found guilty of employing an all-powerful percentage of manly men? Or will Jonesie be indicted for butt-slapping in the boys club? Could any lawyer possibly surpass the manly standard set by the Unfrozen Caveman Lawyer character (right), as portrayed by the late Phil Hartman on NBC’s seminal sketch comedy program, “Saturday Night Live”? Never!

ARNOLD & PORTER: With 98 out of 126 partners in Arnold & Porter’s Washington, D.C. office stinking of Man, the firm weighs in at a 77.8 percent manliness.

JONES DAY: Jones Day only employs 83 partners in its District office—but of those, 73 are men (yes, Junius C. McElveen Jr. is a dude). That means that Jones Day beats its chest with close to 88 percent manliness every day of the man calendar—a veritable “pwn” over wimpy Arnold & Porter. But will this score be enough to send Jones Day to the Elite 8 of manliness? Stay tuned!

Welcome back to the Manliest Workplace in D.C. Tournament. This week, the long arm of the law has its strength tested as D.C.’s biggest law firms compete for man dominance. Today, the local partners of Williams & Connolly take on the upper-level lawyers at Hogan & Hartson (See the full 64-workplace bracket here). Will Williams, Connolly, Hogan, or Hartson have what it takes to claim the mantle of eternal manliness from the Unfrozen Caveman Lawyer character (right), as portrayed by the late Phil Hartman on NBC’s seminal sketch comedy program, “Saturday Night Live”? Court is now in session!

WILLIAMS & CONNOLLY: With 89 out of 103 partners in D.C. falling on the man side of the gender continuum, Williams & Connolly registers an 86.4 percent on the manly scale.

HOGAN & HARTSON: Hogan & Hartson employs a heart-stopping number of female partners: 60. But with 183 male partners filling out its 243-partner strong D.C. office, it still maintains an impressive 75 percent manliness. Not enough to out-man Will-Conn, though, who will go on to the next round of the tournament.

Stay tuned later today, when Arnold & Porter and Jones Day are called to the stand.

Welcome back to the Manliest Workplace in D.C. Competition, wherein I arbitrarily and decisively rate local workplaces based on how many dudes they employ. Fear my wrath! (And see the entire 64-workplace bracket here). This week: Are D.C.’s law firms as manly as the Unfrozen Caveman Lawyer character (right), as portrayed by the late Phil Hartman on NBC’s seminal sketch comedy program, “Saturday Night Live”? Let’s find out!

The legal bracket of the competition continues with two surname heavy firms. But doth Wilmer Cutler Pickering Hale & Door & Akin Gump Strauss Hauer & Feld protest too much? Show me your non-sexual partners!

WILMER CUTLER PICKERING HALE & DORR: Of the 130 partners in Wilmer’s D.C. office, 97 are men. If my calculations are correct—and they may very well not be—that leaves the firm with a pretty Dorr 74.6 percent manliness.

AKIN GUMP STRAUSS HAUER & FELD: With 90 out of 102 partners in the Washington, D.C. branch appearing to be men, the dudes at AGSH&F register an impressive 88.2 percent manliness. And prove victorious!

Tune in tomorrow when more reasonably named law firms Williams & Connolly and Hogan & Hartson man up.

Welcome back to the Manliest Workplace in D.C. competition. This week, Washington’s workplaces take the stand in this, our legal bracket! (See the full 64-workplace bracket here). Since D.C.’s most powerful firms have a whole lot of man power, I’ve decided to switch up the format here. In the most sexually charged Man Madness contest yet, the manly factor of the District’s law firms will be decided solely by the ratio of male to female partners. Today, first seed Covington & Burling LLP faces off against eighth seed Steptoe & Johnson in the battle to most closely approximate the Unfrozen Caveman Lawyer (right), as portrayed by the late Phil Hartman on NBC’s seminal sketch comedy program, “Saturday Night Live.” Howdy, partners!

COVINGTON & BURLING: C&B boast 131 partner-level attorneys in the D.C. area—104 of which are men. That means Covington & Burling has a manly factor of 79.4 percent. But will that be enough to pass the bar?

STEPTOE & JOHNSON: Steptoe & Johnson also employs 131 partners in Washington, D.C. But with 106 men in its partner ranks, its manly factor is a virile 80.9 percent.

Over-ruled! Steptoe & Johnson upsets the competition by a mere two men. You survive now, Steptoe and Johnson, if those are your real names. But will you prove victorious over Wilmer Cutler Pickering Hale & Door and Akin Gump Strauss Hauer & Feld, who have more men in their names, if not in their hearts? Stay tuned!

Last week, we determined the manliness factor of eight workplaces in the local government sector of the Manliest Workplace in D.C. competition. (See the full 64-workplace bracket here). Let’s go to the standings!

With 47 out of 55 manly points, Fenty’s cabinet edges out the fiery competition to go on to our tournament’s elite eight of Manlieness. Stay tuned later today for the kick-off of our legal competition!

La la la, the contest continues, see the full 64-workplace bracket here, D.C. government I’ve got my eye on you this week, all right are you ready let’s go show me your men!

FIRE DEPARTMENT: Nothin’ manlier than emptying your hose on some hot property, am I right ladies? OR AM I WRONG:

Fire Chief Dennis L. Rubin (Male, 10 points)
Assistant Fire Chief Alfred Jeffery (Male, 9 points)
Assistant Fire Chief Lawrence Schultz (Male, 8 points)
Assistant Fire Chief Brian Lee (Male, 7 points)
Assistant Fire Chief Michael Williams, MD (Male, 6 points)
Assistant Fire Chief Rafael Sa’adah (Male, 5 points)
Agency Fiscal Officer Shelly Robinson-Smith (Female, ZERO)
General Counsel Marceline D. Alexander (Female, ZERO)
Chief of Staff Amy Ward (Female, ZERO)
Hydrant Inspection Coordinator Sean Egan (Male, 1 point)

Nope. I was right. With 46 out of 55 manly points, the Fire and Emergency Medical Services staff proves only slightly less manly than the fireman stereotype. But how will it fare against the District’s lawmen and lawymmin?

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METROPOLITAN POLICE DEPARTMENT:

Police Chief Cathy Lanier (Female, ZERO)
Assistant Chief Alfred Durham (Male, 9 points)
Assistant Chief Diane Groomes (Female, ZERO)
Assistant Chief Patrick Burke (Male, 7 points)
Assistant Chief Joshua Ederheimer (Male, 6 points)
Corporate Support Bureau Head Edward Hamilton (Male, 5 points)
Assistant Chief Winston Robinson (Male, 4 points)
Assistant Chief Peter Newsham (Male, 3 points)
General Counsel Terrence Ryan (Male, 2 points)
Agency Fiscal Officer Martin Carmody (Male, 1 point)

Book ‘em, officer! With 37 out of 55 manly points, or 67 percent manliness, the D.C. police department’s girls and boys in blue should receive their Miranda warning—because Miranda is such a feminine name! Looks like Fire and Emergency Medical Services out-mans MPD handily. Tune in tomorrow when the D.C. government bracket wraps up—with the D.C. Council and the Department of Corrections!

Firemen by FredoAlvarez; MPD photo by Andrew Feinberg

The Manliest Workplace in D.C. Tournament marches on toward the halfway point this week (See the full 64-workplace bracket here). The D.C. government bracket slogs on today as the Water and Sewage Administration faces off against Fenty’s finest. Sewage handlers versus the executive branch—a natural match-up, no?

WASA: So, “DCWASA is a multi-jurisdictional regional utility that provides drinking water, wastewater collection and treatment to more than 500,000 residential, commercial and governmental customers in the District of Columbia.” But does it also throw the women out with the wastewater? Let’s find out!

Chairman Robin B. Martin (Male, 10 points)
General Manager Jerry N. Johnson (Male, 9 points)
Acting CFO Olu Adebo (Male, 8 points)
Acting Chief Engineer Leonard R. Benson (Male, 7 points)
Assistant General Manager Barbara A. Grier (Female, ZERO)
Assistant General Manager Charles Kiely (Male, 5 points)
Principal Member Daniel M. Tangherlini (Male, 4 points)
Principal Member F. Alexis H. Roberson (Female, ZERO)
Principal Member Alan J. Roth (Male, 2 points)
Principal Member Keith M. Stone (Male, 1 point)

Swish! With 46 out of a possible 55, WASA sure doesn’t put its manpower to “waste.” Get it? Waste? Because they deal with human shit for a living.

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FENTY’S CABINET: Wow, heh, two pages of Fenty appointees? How am I supposed to rank Office of Ex-Offender Affairs director Rodney C. Mitchell in relation to Department of Consumer and Regulatory Affairs Director Linda K. Argo? Who came up with this contest anyway? Oh well, if your bracket gets messed up please direct your displeasure to this organizational chart [PDF!!!]:

Mayor Adrian Fenty (Male, 10 points, hey, why not)
Acting Attorney General Peter Nickles (Male, 9 points)
Chief Financial Officer Natwar M. Gandhi (Male, 8 points)
Inspector General Charles J. Willoughby (Male, 7 points)
Deputy Mayor Neil O. Albert (Male, 6 points)
Deputy Mayor Victor Reinoso (Male, 5 points)
State Superintendent of Ed. Deborah A. Gist (Female, ZERO)
Public Schools Chancellor Michelle Rhee (Female, ZERO)
City Administrator Dan Tangherlini (Male, 2 points)
Chief of Staff Carrie Brooks (Female, ZERO)

With 47 out of 55 points, Fenty and company register an impressive 85% manliness—and flush WASA by one point! Stay tuned tomorrow when the fire department takes on the police! It’s just like a grade school career fair over here!

Sewer kitten by Michael Cornelius; Fenty by intothelens4149.

The Manliest Workplace in D.C. Tournament continues this week as our local D.C. government institutions are placed beneath the gender microscope that is this continuing blog series! (See the full 64-workplace bracket here). Today, will the 8th-seed D.C. Public Library get Dewey Decimated by the one-seed D.C. Court of Appeals? Court is now in session!

D.C. COURT OF APPEALS: Our own bite-sized slider to the Supreme Court’s man sandwich comes recommended by one Lady Justice as a hot contender in the case for Man Madness. But will D.C.’s appellate court prove more Judge Judy than Harry Anderson? I’ll be the judge!

Chief Judge Eric T. Washington (Male, 10 points)
Associate Judge Michael W. Farrell (Male, 9 points)
Associate Judge Vanessa Ruiz (Female, ZERO)
Associate Judge Inez Smith Reid (Female, ZERO)
Associate Judge Stephen H. Glickman (Male, 6 points)
Associate Judge Noel Anketell Kramer (Male, 5 points)
Associate Judge John R. Fisher (Male, 4 points)
Associate Judge Anna Blackburne-Rigsby (Female, ZERO)
Associate Judge Phyllis D. Thompson (Female, ZERO)
Senior Judge Theodore R. Newman (Male, 1 point)

In the criminal justice system, the people are represented by two separate yet equally important groups: the men, who rack up serious points, and the women, who earn you nothing! The D.C. Court of Appeals swings both ways and ends up with a split decision: a middling man score of 35 out of 55 possible man points (63.6 percent manliness).

D.C. PUBLIC LIBRARY: D.C. Public Library is a pathetic 8th seed in the local government contest, but don’t write off this D.C. workplace too fast (heh). As a book-lending institution, the D.C. Public Library qualifies as a Traditionally Female Workplace under the Sexist’s Affirmative Action clause. Its final score will benefit from a 10-point bump when calculations are made. Which is now!

Chief Librarian Ginnie Cooper (Female, ZERO)
Executive Officer Bridget Bradley (Female, ZERO)
Chief Business Officer Eric Coard (Male, 8 points)
Acting Dir. of Library Services Nancy Davenport (Female, ZERO)
Assoc. Dir. of MLK Jr. Library Pamela Stovall (Female, ZERO)
Assoc. Dir. for Neighborhood Lib. Chang Liu (Female, ZERO)
Acting Assoc. Dir. for Collections Elissa Miller (Female, ZERO)
Director of Human Resources Ellen Flaherty (Female, ZERO)
Director of Marketing and Comm. Karen Saverino (Female, ZERO)
Chief Contracting Officer Wayne Minor (Male, 1 points)

Party on, Wayne! Even with the 10-point cheater bonus, the D.C. Public Library, at 19 points, is a veritable encyclopedia of the ladies. So while the workplace works hard to smash a few extra cracks into D.C.’s glass ceiling with every book it checks out, it’s not going to be checking out any more rounds of this contest. Later, nerds!

Gavel by Thomas Roche; photo of MLK Library by dbking.

Times they are a-changin’ in the federal government, but manliness endures. Here are the results of the Manliest Workplace in D.C. competition’s Fed bracket (See the full 64-workplace bracket here):

The Senate, weighing in with an impressive 100 percent manliness (55 out of 55 on the manly index, all men all the time everywhere), is the institution to beat here. This week, D.C. government’s finest attempts to take down Byrd & co.

I just can’t stop! I’ve got the madness! Let’s sew up this bracket right now! FBI, CIA: Show me your men!

FEDERAL BUREAU OF INVESTIGATION: My, how the tables have turned. Look who’s on the other end of the interrogation table now, FBI! Do you have women working inside your workplace? We have ways of making you talk. Cue the Rage Against the Machine! Fire up the waterboard!—What’s that you say? You publicly post your org chart on the Internet? My bad:

Director Robert S. Mueller, III (Male, 10 points)
Deputy Director John S. Pistole (Male, 9 points)
Associate Deputy Director Timothy P. Murphy (Male, 8 points)
Chief of Staff Lisa Monaco (Female, ZERO)
Senior Counsel to the Director W. Lee Rawls (Male, 6 points)
Special Counsel to the Director John Carlin (Male, 5 points)
National Security Branch EAD Arthur M. Cummings II (Male, 4 points)
Criminal, Cyber, Response, and Services EAD J. Stephen Tidwell (Male, 3 points)
Human Resources Branch EAD Donald E. Packham (Male, 2 points)
Science and Technology Branch EAD Louis E. Grever (Male, 1 points)

Cleared of all charges! With 48 points of a possible 55, the FBI soars above mere manishness to achieve near manfection. Token female Lisa Monaco notwithstanding, the FBI proves it’s got the gravitas to be a real contender in this race.

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CENTRAL INTELLIGENCE AGENCY: I spy, with my little eye, something feminine . . .

Director Michael V. Hayden (Male, 10 points)
Deputy Director Stephen R. Kappes (Male, 9 points)
Associate Deputy Director Scott White (Male, 8 points)
Director of Intelligence Michael J. Morell (Male, 7 points)
Nat’l Clandestine Service Dir. Michael Sulick (Male, 6 points)
Science & Tech Dir. Stephanie L. O’Sullivan (Female, ZERO)
Director of Support “Under Cover” (Unknown, ZERO)
Center for Study of Intelligence Dir. Carmen A. Medina (Female, ZERO)
General Counsel John A. Rizzo (Male, 2 points)
Public Affairs Dir. Mark Mansfield (Male, 1 points)

Oh, “Under Cover,” if only you made your gender public, perhaps you could have lifted your agency above its lowly station of simple “manliness” to true “very manliness.” With just 43 out of 55 points on the manly index, a 78 percent manliness is hardly enough to register an international incident.

Photo by Matti Matilla.

The Manliest Workplace in D.C. Competition continues today in a match-up sure to be less painful than most acts of Congress! (See the full 64-workplace bracket here). Today, the Federal Government bracket heats up as our bicameral legislature goes mano-a-mano to determine final man dominance (until the new, possibly gender-compromised Congress is sworn in). For now, we live in 110th Congress man-bliss as the House takes on the Senate:

HOUSE OF REPRESENTATIVES: Congressional leaders are listed first, followed by the longest-serving members of the House, in order to give credit to those public servants who have lent the most years of manliness to our great man nation. Lets get to governin’!

Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi (Female, ZERO)
Majority Leader Steny Hoyer (Male, 9 points)
Minority Leader John Boehner (Male, 8 points)
Majority Whip James E. Clyburn (Male, 7 points)
Minority Whip Roy Blunt (Male, 6 points)
Representative John Dingell (’55, Male, 5 points)
Representative John Conyers (‘65, Male, 4 points)
Representative Dave Obey (‘69, Male, 3 points)
Representative Charles B. Rangel (‘71, Male, 2 points)
Representative Bill Young (‘71, Male, 1 point)

With a manly index of 45 out of 55, Nancy Pelosi really ruined it for everyone. Thanks Nancy.

—

SENATE: Same shit, different chamber:

President Pro Tempore Robert Byrd (Male, 10 points)
Majority Leader Harry Reid (Male, 9 points)
Minorty Leader Mitch McConnell (Male, 8 points)
Majority Whip Dick Durbin (Male, 7 points)
Minority Whip Jon Kyl (Male, 6 points)
Senator Ted Kennedy (’62, Male, 5 points)
Senator Daniel Inouye (‘63, Male, 4 points)
Senator Ted Stevens (’68, Male, 3 points)
Senator Pete Domenici (‘73, Male, 2 points)
Senator Joe Biden (‘73, Male, 1 point)

DING DING DING! And it’s Biden at the buzzer! Unleash the confetti! Cue “Macho Man”! Book Randy Savage for the post-game run-down! The Senate has registered our very first 100% on the manly scale, positively governing the sexually confused House of Representatives! Will any institution dare challenge it? Stay tuned!

Photo by Ken Lund.

The Federal Government contest continues today in D.C.’s man madness tournament—the quest to find the D.C. institution with the most men in the highest positions. (See the full 64-workplace bracket here). Today, Bushies face off against the Benjamins as  President Bush’s cabinet takes on the Federal Reserve Board.

PRESIDENTIAL CABINET: Historical election, shmishtorical shmeshectshion! The United States on Tuesday continued its long and glorious tradition of keeping women out of the Oval Office, unless they’re “just visiting.” But how many women have been able to sneak willy-nilly into that cramped Presidential cabinet? Let’s find out!

President George W. Bush (Male, 10 points)
Vice President Dick Cheney (Male, 9 points)
Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice (Female, ZERO
Secretary of the Treasury Henry Paulson (Male, 7 points)
Secretary of Defense Robert Gates (Male, 6 points)
Attorney General Michael Mukasey (Male, 5 points)
Secretary of the Interior Dirk Kempthorne (Male, 4 points)
Secretary of Agriculture Ed Schafer (Male, 3 points)
Secretary of Commerce Carlos Gutierrez (Male, 2 points)
Secretary of Labor Elaine Chao (Female, ZERO)

Yes, we man? With 46 out of 55 points on the manly index, George Bush and his cronies register at 83 percent manliness. But how do they compare to those other dudes with way too much control over our daily lives?

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FEDERAL RESERVE: Ha ha, wow, I do not envy you guys right now. Hey—let’s see just how many guys I do not envy right now!

Chairman Ben S. Bernanke (Male, 10 points)
Vice Chairman Donald L. Kohn (Male, 9 points)
Board Member Kevin M. Warsh (Male, 8 points)
Board Member Randall S. Kroszner (Male, 7 points)
Board Member Elizabeth A. Duke (Female, ZERO)
Boston Bank President Eric S. Rosengren (Male, 5 points)
New York Bank President Timothy F. Geithner (Male, 4 points)
Philadelphia Bank President Charles I. Plosser (Male, 3 points)
Cleveland Bank President Sandra Pianalto (Female, ZERO)
Richmond Bank President Jeffrey M. Lacker (Male, 1 point)

That’s the money shot! After I ran down the board members, I filled out the top ten with some regional Federal Reserve bank presidents (of the 12 total, two are women). That leaves the Fed with 47 out of 55 manly points—beating around the Bush by 1 point! Tune in again tomorrow when we finish up the Federal Government bracket—and update our female-friendly Glass Ceiling Crack Count!

White House photo by Bethany L King; Federal Reserve photo by NCinDC.

Welcome back to the Manliest Workplace in D.C. Tournament. With the Culture bracket languishing in a statistical dead heat between the Washington Redskins and the Smithsonian Institution, it’s time to turn our attentions to the granddaddy of all granddaddy employers: The Federal Government! (See the full 64-workplace bracket here).

Today, one-seed the Supreme Court takes on the eight-seed U.S. Postal Service. Will a collection of robed-swathed old men fall to a legion of boys in short pants? Let’s find out!

THE SUPREME COURT: This high-talkin’ decidey-branch hashes it out on issues manly (District of Columbia v. Heller) and non (Roe v. Wade). But in the court of Man, will these Justices be served? Let’s go to the line-up:

Chief Justice John G. Roberts (Male, 10 points)
Justice John Paul Stevens (Male, 9 points)
Justice Antonin Scalia (Male, 8 points)
Justice Anthony Kennedy (Male, 7 points)
Justice David Souter (Male, 6 points)
Justice Clarence Thomas (Male, 5 points)
Justice Ruth Bader Ginsberg (Female, ZERO)
Justice Stephen Breyer (Male, 3 points)
Justice Samuel Alito (Male, 2 points)
Retired Justice Sandra Day O’Connor (Female, ZERO)

Order in the court! In a striking 8-to-2 decision, the court comes down on the very manly side with a score of 50 on the manly index. Anita who?

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U.S. POSTAL SERVICE: They deliver your mail, but do they deliver the male? It’s too easy!

Postmaster General John E. Potter (Male, 10 points)
Deputy Postmaster General Patrick R. Donahoe (Male, 9 points)
President Robert F. Bernstock (Male, 8 points)
CFO Harold Glen Walker (Male, 7 points)
Chief HR Officer Anthony Vegliante (Male, 6 points)
CIO Ross Philo (Male, 5 points)
Senior VP Mary Anne Gibbons (Female, ZERO)
Senior VP Linda Kingsley (Female, ZERO)
Senior VP Stephen M. Kearney (Male, 2 points)
Gov. Relations VP Marie Therese Dominguez (Female, ZERO)

Return to sender! Even with an impressive 47 out of 55 points on the manly index, the U.S. Postal Services falls to the highest court in the land. Duh. Tune in again tomorrow when Bush’s cabinet faces off against the Federal Reserve!

Photo of the Supreme Court by the wonderful NCinDC; U.S. Postal Museum by Dustin Coates.

Well, it’s been a hell of a week in non-manliness. I hope we’ve all learned something about D.C. culture here, folks: It is, at best, marginally manly. So while the winner of the Culture bracket will have the satisfaction of besting his peers, he will almost certainly fall to the mighty Washington Times in the elite eight. (See the full 64-workplace bracket here). Whatever. Let’s get straight to the recap:

Oh, Fuuuuck come on! With a just-ok manly rating of 38, the Smithsonian Institution and the Washington Redskins manage to tie this pathetic thing. Figures, “Culture.” Tune in next week as we determine the winner of the Culture bracket through arbitrary decidey-things!

This week wraps up the Culture bracket in the Sexist’s Manliest Workplace in D.C. Competition. Today, we give the arbitrary calculation treatment to the Studio Theatre and the D.C. outfit of Madame Tussauds. Will the human impressionists of the threatre prove manlier than the wax dummies of the house of oddities? Find out!

STUDIO THEATRE: This contemporary theater claims to have “received nearly 200 Helen Hayes Award nominations for artistic excellence since the awards were founded in 1985.” But will it receive the local theater world’s highest honor, victory in the Manliest Workplace competition?

Founding Artistic Director Joy Zinoman (Female, ZERO)
Managing Director Keith Alan Baker (Male, 9 points)
Executive Dir. of Inst. Devel. Morey B. Epstein (Male, 8 points)
Director of Administration Roma Rogers (Female, ZERO)
Director of Communications Liane Jacobs (Female, ZERO)
Assoc. Producing Art. Dir. Serge Seiden (Male, 5 points)
Literary Manager/Dramaturg Sarah Wallace (Female, ZERO)
Technical Director Derek Cook (Male, 3 points)
Information Tech. Manager Thomas Lincoln (Male, 2 points)
Facilities Manager Kieran Kelly (Male, 1 point)

With 28 out of 55 points on the manly index, this might be el fin for Studio.

—

MADAME TUSSAUDS: As Tussaud’s power lies in wax, not flesh, I’ve decided to eschew the actual org chart at D.C.’s newest fake-person shrine. Instead, I’ll rank the museum on the gender ratio of its most prized celebrity look-alikes, based on the order of their presentation on Tussaud’s Web site. Wax on:

First Lady Jackie Kennedy-Onassis ((Deceased) Female, ZERO)
President George Washington ((Deceased) Male, 9 points)
Television host Tyra Banks (Female, ZERO)
President Ronald Reagan ((Deceased) Male, 7 points)
Pop singer Madonna (Female, ZERO)
Baseball player Babe Ruth ((Deceased) Male, 5 points)
President George W. Bush (Male, 4 points)
Astronaut Buzz Aldrin (Male, 3 points)
President Dwight Eisenhower (Male, 2 points)
Actor Denzel Washington (Male, 1 point)

Wham, bam, thank you Madame! Who cares if most of Tussaud’s brightest pillars of man are dead? Wax, it seems, is thicker than contemporary theatre. With a manly index of 31 out of 55, Ms. T edges out Studio Theatre to fill out the second round of the Culture bracket. Tune back in later today for your weekly Man Madness recap.

Photos by NCinDC

The Manliest Workplace in D.C. competition continues. This week: Culture! Yesterday, the Founding Church of Scientology beat out the Washington National Cathedral to make it to the macho second round of the contest; earlier, the Washington Redskins handily swiped away the National Museum of Women in the Arts. Will the Smithsonian Institution or the National Symphony Orchestra go on to compete to be the manliest cultural institution in D.C.? Read on.

THE SMITHSONIAN INSTITUTION: The National Women’s History Museum thinks the Smithsonian doesn’t have enough exhibits that cater to the ladyfolk of eras past. But does this Mall-gobbling institution have the man goods where it counts? Let’s find out:

Secretary G. Wayne Clough (Male, 10 points)
Acting Under Secretary for Science Charles Alcock (Male, 9 points)
Acting Under Secretary for History, Art and Culture Richard Kurin (Male, 8 points)
Acting Under Secretary for Finance and Administration Alison McNally (Female, ZERO)
President, Smithsonian Enterprises Tom Ott (Male, 6 points)
Chief of Staff, Office of the Regents John K. Lapiana (Male, 5 points)
Chief Financial Officer Alice C. Maroni (Female, ZERO)
Director, External Affairs Virginia B. Clark (Female, ZERO)
Director, Communications and Public Affairs Evelyn S. Lieberman (Female, ZERO)
Director, Office of Equal Employment and Minority Affairs Era L. Marshall (Female, ZERO)

Founding fathers be damned! With only 38 out of 55 points on the manly index, the Smithsonian Institution registers a mere 69 percent manliness. Sexy Greek God George Washington would’ve smote you for this, Smith.
—

NATIONAL SYMPHONY ORCHESTRA: There’s nothing manlier than a group of dudes tootin’ on wind instruments. Or is there?

Executive Director Rita Shapiro (Female, ZERO)
Conductor Ivan Fischer (Male, 9 points)
Chairman Mrs. Ann D. Jordan (Female, ZERO)
Vice Chairman Mr. Roger Sant (Male, 7 points)
President Mr. William L. Walton (Male, 6 points)
Vice President of Community Development Mrs. Anthony Welters (Female, ZERO)

Woah, woah, woah. Hold on there just a second, “Mrs.” Anthony Welters. My natural “fishy” instinct prompted me to call up the National Symphony and inquire as to the gender of this Vice President of Community Development. A press contact informed me that Mrs. Anthony was actually Beatrice Welters. Anthony is her husband. Still, the chutzpah of listing her husband’s name instead of her own in the staff directory has inspired me to add on an additional 10 manly points to the NSO. Carry on:

Vice President of Development Ms. Melissa A. Moss (Female, ZERO)
Vice President, Marketing Mr. Carl H. Oppenheim (Male, 3 points)
Director of Artistic Planning Nigel Boon (Male, 2 points)
Orchestra Manager Cynthia Pickett Steele (Female, ZERO)

Ouch! Even with the added manpower of a Mrs. Anthony Welters, the National Symphony Orchestra just misses the Smithsonian’s man-count with a 37 out of 55 on the manly index.

Tune in tomorrow when we wrap up the culture bracket!

Photo by Brent and MariLynn.

THE FOUNDING CHURCH OF SCIENTOLOGY: When I graduated college, the Church of Scientology posted a dozen or so job openings on my university’s student job board, in fields ranging from agriculture to writing. I was prepared to apply for a job (hey, I’m a writer) when a friend of mine suggested that the Church was likely just preying on lost, confused post-grad souls.

If anyone did find a real job with the Church of Scientology, founded in Washington, D.C. in 1955, I wouldn’t know it; beyond celeb devotees like Tom Cruise and Victoria Beckham, Scientologists are pretty cagey about who prays—and works—for the spiritual machine. When I called the local office, a guy named “David” told me that the church wasn’t too interested in publicizing a list of higher-ups; he referred me to “Sylvia.” When I called “Sylvia,” I was transferred back to “David.” Figures.

Never mind that the only leaders of the Founding Church of Scientology I was able to find on the Web were a dead dude and a celebrity minister who chairs the board of the Religious Technology Center, the organization tasked with “monitoring and enforcing the purity of technical application” of the religion. The show must go on:

Founder L. Ron Hubbard (Deceased (Male, 10 points))
Chairman of the Board David Miscavige (Male, 9 points)
Phone Answerer “David” (Male, 8 points)
Referenced in Passing “Sylvia” (Female, ZERO)
Celebrity Tom Cruise (Male, 6 points)
Celebrity Victoria Beckham (Female, ZERO)
Alien Ruler Xenu (Male, 4 points)
Operating Thetan Level III (Unspecified, ZERO)
Operating Thetan Level II (Unspecified, ZERO)
Operating Thetan Level I (Unspecified, ZERO)

With the help of a mean-spirited extraterrestrial and the world’s most famous cocktail bartender, the Founding Church of Scientology registers an impressive 37 out of 55 on the manly index. But will that 67 percent manliness push L. Ron & co. over those staid Catholics Episcopalians north of Georgetown?

—

THE NATIONAL CATHEDRAL: This U.S. base for the Episcopal Church claims to welcome “people of all faiths and none.” But does it welcome more men than women? Let us pray:

Cathedral Dean Samuel T. Lloyd III (Male, 10 points)
Cathedral Vicar The Rev. Canon Stephen Huber (Male, 9 points)
Chief Operating Officer Kathleen Cox (Female, ZERO)
Associate Dean for Administration and Finance Andrew Hullinger (Male, 7 points)
Executive Director for External Relations Michael E. Hill (Male, 6 points)
Associate Warden of the Cathedral College Shelagh Casey Brown (Female, ZERO)
Director of Philanthropy TC Benson (Female, ZERO)
Budget and Finance Director Kim Carlson (Female, ZERO)
Director, Visitor Programs & Volunteer Julie Cooke (Female, ZERO)
Director of Music Michael McCarthy (Male, 1 point)

Only 33 out of 55 on the manly scale? Pwned! See you next year, Washington National Cathedral!

Tomorrow, tune in for the contest between the Smithsonian Institution and the National Symphony Orchestra. For now, I leave you with this prescient L. Ron Hubbard quote:

The most neglected friend you have is you. And yet every man, before he can be a true friend to the world, must first become a friend to himself.

Cathedral photo by ~MVI~; Founding Church of Scientology photo by brixton.

Welcome back to The Sexist’s Manliest Workplace in D.C. tournament, our ongoing unscientific investigation into the male/female ratios of local employers’ org charts. Last week, we sewed up the Media Bracket, in which the Washington Times crushed the competition with an impressive 94.5 percent manly factor. Now, we move on to an even more high-fallutin’ category of D.C. workplace: “Culture.” Check out the entire 64-workplace bracket here; today, the one-seed Washington Redskins take on eight-seed National Museum of Women in the Arts. May the manliest cultural institution win!

WASHINGTON REDSKINS: These hometown heroes may have the manliest profession this side of the American Presidency, but do they have the manly goods where it counts—the execs? Let’s check out the team’s ownership and coaching staff [PDF]:

Owner Dan Snyder (Male, 10 points)
Ownership Group Member Arlette Snyder (Female, ZERO)
Ownership Group Member Michele Snyder (Female, ZERO)
Ownership Group Member Robert Rothman (Male, 7 points)
Ownership Group Member Dwight Schar (Male, 6 points)
Ownership Group Member Frederick W. Smith (Male, 5 points)
Executive VP Vinny Cerrato (Male, 4 points)
Head Coach Jim Zorn (Male, 3 points)
Assistant Coach Greg Blanche (Male, 2 points)
Assistant Coach Sherman Smith (Male, 1 point)

With only 38 points out of a possible 55, or 69% manliness, first-seed contenders the Washington Redskins prove to be even worse at manliness than they are at football (75% wins this season). No amount of sis-boom-bah-ing from scantily-clad ‘Skins cheerleaders can mediate this stunning blow, which was decided early in the contest when Dan incubated himself with a pair of female Snyders in his ownership group. Consolation prize: Homosocial ass-slap rate in organization remains high.

—

NATIONAL MUSEUM OF WOMEN IN THE ARTS: Oh, man. This does not look promising. But even though this contender stumbles by having “Women” in its very name, an upset against the sorta-manly Redskins is possible. Because NMWA qualifies as a traditionally female workplace, it stands to reap in some free manly points under the Sexist’s affirmative action clause. Accordingly, NMWA will receive a 10-point jump after its index is calculated. Let’s get to the goods:

Director Susan Fisher Sterling (Female, ZERO)
Deputy Director Ilene Gutman (Female, ZERO)
Deputy Director Pam Ayres (Female, ZERO)
Chief Curator Jordana Pomeroy (Female, ZERO)
Director of Library Jason Stieber (Male, 5)
Media Relations Manager Michelle Cragle (Female, ZERO)
Exhibitions Coordinator Rebecca Price (Female, ZERO)
Chief Preparator Greg Abgelone (Male, 2)
Director of Special Events Lori Brubaker (Female, ZERO)
Director of Retail Operations Lynda Marks (Female, ZERO)

Ouch. Even with the free 10-pointer, NMWA scores a weak 17/55 on the manly index, or just over 30 percent manliness. The National Museum of Women in the Arts is so hopelessly unmanly I’ll save them excessive man-punning in this roundup. But check out their new exhibition, “Role Models: Feminine Identity in Contemporary American Photograph,” which I hear is delightful!

Tune in tomorrow for a pan-religious bro-off, when the National Cathedral takes on the Founding Church of Scientology!

Photo by smata2.

Week one of the Manliest Workplace in D.C. competition has come to a close. Let’s recap the standings in the media bracket (first-round winners in bold):

Game 1: Washington Times, 52; Washingtonian, 17
Game 2: Congressional Quarterly, 40; Washington Post, 46
Game 3: El Pregonero, 48; USA TODAY, 50
Game 4: Washington City Paper, 36; Washington Blade, 45

In a non-stunning victory, first-seed media outlet the Washington Times proves it’s the manliest of D.C.’s news orgs. The daily will continue on to our elite eight contest to face off against the manliest of D.C.’s law firms, cultural institutions, and government workplaces.

For those filling out the bracket at home, here’s the complete media contest:

Next week, we see how D.C.’s cultural institutions measure up. WIll the Washington Redskins out-man the National Museum of Women in the Arts*? Will the Founding Church of Scientology muscle out the Smithsonian? Only our unscientific algorithm knows for sure.

* affirmative action notice: score adjusted for traditionally female institution

Today, we sew up the media bracket in the D.C.’s Manliest Workplace Tournament with two of the Districts alternative weeklies: The Washington City Paper and the Washington Blade. Earlier in the media contest, the Washington Times out-manlied Washingtonian, the Washington Post pwned Congressional Quarterly, and El Pregonero fell to USA today. Check out the full 64-workplace bracket here.

WASHINGTON CITY PAPER: Paper, you say? That’s right, the Washington City Paper, true to its name, still gets printed on dead trees manlyly harvested by the world’s well-muscled lumberjacks. But is its reportorial muscle as manly as the paper it’s printed on? Or have new efforts tipped the balance toward the femaleish end of the employment gender spectrum? Let’s take a look:

Publisher Amy Austin (Female, ZERO)
Editor Erik Wemple (Male, 9 points)
Ad Sales Director David J. Walker (Male, 8 points)
New Media Director Joshua Lieb (Male, 7 points)
Business Devel. Manager Sheila Alexander-Reid (Female, ZERO)
Information Technology Director Jim Gumm (Male, 6 points)
Managing Editor Andrew Beaujon (Male, 5 points)
Classified Sales Manager Heather McAndrews (Female, ZERO)
Assistant Managing Editor Jule Banville (Female, ZERO)
Senior Writer Jason Cherkis (Male, 1 point)

With a score of 36 out of 55 on the manly scale, the Washington City Paper weighs in with 65 percent manlines; not bad for a paper too bankrupt to pay those meaty male salaries. Hey, at least we’re manlier than Washingtonian.

—

WASHINGTON BLADE: The potential manpower of D.C.’s foremost alternative gay newspaper is obvious. But lest you have any doubts about the Blade’s manliness, allow me to indulge in one of my favorite pastimes: Dictionary journalism. Ahem. Blade, noun. 1. The flat cutting part of a sharpened weapon or tool. 2. A sword. 3. A swordsman.” Need I say more?

Publisher Lynne Brown (Female, ZERO)
Co-President & COO Mike Kitchens (Male, 9 points)
Co-President & CFO Steve Myers (Male, 8 points)
Co-President & CMO William R. Kapfer (Male, 7 points)
Director, Online Operations Kevin Smith (Male, 6 points)
Editor Kevin Naff (Male, 5 points)
News Editor Joshua Lynsen (Male, 4 points)
Features Editor Joey DiGuglielmo (Male, 3 points)
Senior News Reporter Lou Chibbaro Jr. (Male, 2 points)
Art Director Rob Boeger (Male, 1 point)

Oh, Brown, you’re killin’ me! The Blade’s all-male roster suffers a serious blow with its to Still, 45 out of 55 is more than enough to swat down the pesky City Paper. But will it be competitive in the finals? Stay tuned later today for our media bracket manly round-up.

—

GLASS CRACK COUNT! The four women in the top ten positions at the Washington City Paper and one at the Blade bring our continuing glass crack count up to 20. That’s 20 out of 80 top-level media positions in the District of Columbia staffed by women—a round 25 percent.

]]> http://www.washingtoncitypaper.com/blogs/sexist/2008/10/24/man-madness-washington-city-paper-vs-washington-blade/feed/ 3 http://www.washingtoncitypaper.com/blogs/sexist/2008/10/23/man-madness-el-pregonero-vs-usa-today/ http://www.washingtoncitypaper.com/blogs/sexist/2008/10/23/man-madness-el-pregonero-vs-usa-today/#comments Thu, 23 Oct 2008 16:45:14 +0000 Amanda Hess http://www.washingtoncitypaper.com/blogs/sexist/?p=491

The media bracket man-off continues today as American-language daily USA TODAY takes on Spanish-language weekly El Pregonero. The winner of this contest will go on to face the impressively manly Washington Times in the second round. Check out the rest of this week’s Manliest Workplace Tournament action: Washington Times Vs. Washingtonian and Washington Post Vs. Congressional Quarterly. Review the entire 64-workplace bracket here.

USA TODAY: USA TODAY is as pro-America as you can get for a newspaper based out of the non-real-Virginia city of McLean. “USA TODAY hopes to serve as a forum for better understanding and unity to help make the USA truly one nation,” reads the daily quote from founder Alan Neuharth on the paper’s editorial page. But how pro-man is it? Let’s find out!

President and Publisher Craig Moon (Male, 10 points)
Editor Ken Paulson (Male, 9 points)
Executive Editor John Hillkirk (Male, 8 points)
Editor, Editorial Page, Brian Gallagher (Male, 7 points)
Senior VP Advertising Brett Wilson (Male, 6 points)
Senior VP Circulation Larry Lindquist (Male, 5 points)
Senior VP and Publisher, USATODAY.com Jeff Webber (Male, 4 points)
Senior VP Marketing Susan Lavington (Female, ZERO)
News Managing Editor Carol Stevens (Female, ZERO)
Money Managing Editor Jim Henderson (Male, 1 point)

USA! USA! With an impressive score of 50 out of 55 on the manly index, USA TODAY yields a very manly mancentage of 90.9%.

—

EL PREGONERO: As D.C.’s oldest Spanish-language paper, El Pregonero is a local news authority for the District’s Hispanic community. But El Preg itself has the support of a higher authority; the weekly is administered by the Carroll Publishing Company, which also turns out The Catholic Standard and serves as a mouthpiece for the local Catholic church, the Archdiocese of Washington. Good thing, too: As El Pregonero’s list of “Important People” yields only four names, I’ve beefed up the rest of the org chart with Archdiocese higher-ups.

General Manager Tom Schmidt (Male, 10 points)
Editor Rafael Roncal (Male, 9 points)
Circulation Manager Irieska Gutierrez (Female, ZERO)
Advertising Sales Manager Francisco Vega (Male, 7 points)
Archbishop of Washington Donald W. Wuerl (Male, 6 points)
Secretary to the Archbishop Rev. Adam Park (Male, 5 points)
Archbishop Emeritus of Washington Cardinal Theodore McCarrick (Male, 4 points)
Moderator of the Curia and Vicar for Administration: Rev. Msgr. Barry Knestout (Male, 3 points)
Auxiliary Bishop/Vicar General Most Rev. Francisco Gonzalez (Male, 2 points)
Auxiliary Bishop Most Rev. Martin D. Holley (Male, 1 point)

Lord have mercy! El Pregonero and Catholicism team up to score an impressive 48 on the Manly Index. That’s a solid 87 percent manliness, or a B-plus for those tuning in from divinity school. But all the Auxiliary Bishops in the world can’t steal USA TODAY’s thunder; the daily edges ‘em out by only two points to go on to face the Washington Times in round two.

—

GLASS CEILING CRACK COUNT: Gutierrez, Stevens, and Lavington knock three more cracks in D.C.’s very own glass ceiling, bringing the current count to 15 women out of 60 positions surveyed.

Tune in again tomorrow when we finish up the media bracket with a can’t-miss face off: Home team the Washington City Paper takes on that other alt-weekly, the Washington Blade.

Will Sommer over at Georgetown Voice blog Vox Populi gives the Manliest Workplace treatment to the university’s many campus rags. According to Sommer’s calculations, the Georgetown Academy is the manliest of GU’s publications, while the Independent scores lowest on the Manly Index with a mannish 13.

Sommer also notes that, as Vox Populi’s sole editor, Sommer’s maleness scores his outfit “a perfect ten out of ten in manliness.” By that same token, The Sexist scores a big fat zero.

Will Sommer have the guts to blog this blog about the blog he posted about my blog? Stay tuned!

It’s day two of the Sexist’s Manliest Workplace in D.C. tournament, and things are beginning to heat up. In day one of our contest, the Washington Times positively manhandled Washingtonian Magazine, proving that its storied man-heavy organizational chart can’t fall to any old progressive employer. Today, the fight continues in the media bracket as Congressional Quarterly tests its man mettle against the Washington Post. Let the unscientific and, in fact, highly arbitrary games begin!

CONGRESSIONAL QUARTERLY: Congressional Quarterly sure has its share of dudes to look after. As the publication of record for Congressional goings-on, CQ covers two of the Manliest Workplace Tournament’s most promising contenders: the U.S. Senate and the House of Representatives. But when it comes down to its own employment record, is CQ more Ms. than GQ? And when will I begin to run out of puns relating to men? Find out below!

President & Editor-in-Chief Bob Merry (Male, 10 points)
Publisher & Senior Vice President Keith White (Male, 9 points)
Editor & Senior Vice President Michael Riley (Male, 8 points)
Executive Editor, Publications Susan Benkelman (Female, ZERO)
Executive Editor, News Anne Q. Hoy (Female, ZERO)
Executive Editor, Innovation Ken Sands (Male, 5 points)
Circulation Sales Vice President: Jim Gale (Male, 4 points)
Chief Marketing Officer: Greg Hamilton (Male, 3 points)
Chief Financial Officer: Diane Atwell (Female, ZERO)
Chief Information Officer: Larry Tunks (Male, 1 point)

Wah-Wahhhh. Scoring only a 40 out of 55 points on the manly index, CQ weighs in with a barely respectable 72 percent manliness. Around here, we call that a C minus.

—

THE WASHINGTON POST: This one could go either way, folks. When Katharine Weymouth took over publishing duties at the paper earlier this year, she reclaimed a role for women carved out by grandma Katharine Graham in the 1970s. But this 131-year-old broadsheet has its share of Marcuses, Miltons, and Boisfeuillets (dude name!) to go around. Let’s go straight to the masthead!

Chairman Boisfeuillet Jones, Jr. (Male, 10 points)
Publisher and CEO Katharine Weymouth (Female, ZERO)
Executive Editor Marcus W. Brauchli (Male, 8 points)
President and General Manager Stephen P. Hills (Male, 7 points)
Chairman of the Board Donald E. Graham (Male, 6 points)
Vice President At Large Benjamin C. Bradlee (Male, 5 points)
Vice President At Large Leonard Downie, Jr. (Male, 4 points)
Vice President of Operations Michael Clurman (Male, 3 points)
Managing Editor Philip Bennett (Male, 2 points)
Deputy Managing Editor Milton Coleman (Male, 1 point)

That comes to an impressive 46 out of 55 on the Manly Index, or roughly 84 percent manliness. For one woman, Weymouth has managed to significantly affect the manliness of a paper simply littered with Y chromosomes. For what it’s worth, we’re willing to bet she was a legacy.

—

GLASS CEILING CRACK WATCH: With three women suiting up at Congressional Quarterly and Weymouth weighing in over at the Post, our current crack count rises to a robust 12. (That’s 12 positions filled by females in the 40 positions surveyed so far in the media division)

The Manliest Workplace in D.C. tournament, in which we rate local businesses based on the man factor of their org charts, kicks off today. Check out our online bracket for all 64 workplaces that will be competing in the coming weeks. We’re starting with the media bracket this week, culling top jobs from editorial, advertising, and production floors. And now, for our first media match-up: Who’s manlier, the Washington Times or the Washingtonian?

And they’re off!

THE WASHINGTON TIMES: Founded by the Rev. Sun Myung Moon in 1982, the paper is a rare conservative beacon in a town of dirty liberals. But are they manly conservatives, or mere equal-opportunity ones? Let’s go to the org chart!

Chairman of the Board Douglas D.M. Joo (Male, 10 points)
President and Publisher Thomas P. McDevitt (Male, 9 points)
Executive Editor John Solomon (Male, 8 points)
Chief Financial Officer Keith Cooperridedr (Male, 7 points)
Associate Publisher Richard H. Amberg Jr. (Male, 6 points)
V.P., Sales & Marketing Randall S. Brant (Male, 5 points)
V.P., Strategic Development Frank Grow (Male, 4 points)
V.P., Human Resources Sonya R. Jenkins (Female, ZERO)
Managing Editor-Print David Jones (Male, 2 points)
Managing Editor-Digital Jefrrey H. Birnbaum (Male, 1 points)

Well, well, well. Look at who has all the boldy names on the masthead! (Excepting you, Sonya R. Jenkins, brave Vice President of Human Resources). The Washington Times comes out fighting on opening day with an impressive score of 52 out of 55 on the manly index (very manly). In 2002, Rev. Moon announced (in Korean) that WaTi is “responsible to let the American people know about God.” Shout it from the hilltops, staffers: The God of Washington Times is a 94.5 percent manly God.

—

WASHINGTONIAN MAGAZINE: D.C.’s lifestyle monthly is always there to help you in all aspects of Washington livin’, from judging your “sidewalk style” to testing your bridal etiquette. But are these stylish ‘zillas the bride or the groom type? Let’s take a look, shall we?

Chairman Eleanor Merrill (Female, ZERO)
President & Publisher Catherine M. Williams (Female, ZERO)
Editor John A. Limpert (Male, 8 points)
Design Director Eileen OTousa Crowson (Female, ZERO)
Advertising Director Edward P. Mansfield Jr. (Male, 6 points)
Production Director Margaret Dooley (Female, ZERO)
Online Ed. Director Catherine Andrews (Female, ZERO)
Senior Editor Sherri Dalphonse (Female, ZERO)
Senior Editor Ken DeCell (Male, 2 points)
Senior Managing Editor William O’Sullivan (Male, 1 point)

That stings! Sure, few pubs would stand a chance against the manpower of the Washington Times—that’s why the paper was predicted a one seed, and the Washingtonian a lowly eight. Still, with only 17 points out of 55, Washingtonian Magazine is only 30% manly (hardly manly at all). Looks like the Washingtonian is out of the race early this year, but they have managed to record six parting blows in our …

GLASS CEILING CRACK COUNT! Where we record how many high-powered Washington women are chipping away at that pesky invisible promotion-killer.

Six women in the upper echelons of Washington Magazine and one at the Washington Times brings our glass ceiling crack count up to—-SEVEN!

Tune in tomorrow, when four-seed Congressional Quarterly takes on the five-seed Washington Post!

UPDATE: A reader informed me that I initially looked over Washington Times Executive Editor John Solomon–a very important man—on the paper’s org chart. Well, he’s back in the game, and WaTi is manlier than ever!

Reminder: Today is the last day to submit your bracket in the Sexist’s Manliest Workplace in D.C. tournament. Fill out a chart today—entrants stand to win a marginally manly City Paper prize pack.

Starting tomorrow, the games begin, when the Washington Post Washington Times’ newshounds face off against Washingtonian’s finest, and El Pregonero takes on those folksiest org chart east of Alaska at USA Today.

The Manliest Workplace in D.C. tournament is live! Over the next several weeks, the Sexist will be rating 64 D.C. organizations to find the manliest local workplace—the one that employs the most men, all the time, and in the highest positions. Who’s manlier—the National Cathedral or the Founding Church of Scientology? The Supreme Court or the U.S. Postal Service? Only the Sexist’s unsophisticated and highly arbitrary ranking system knows for sure.

Stay tuned with The Sexist as the tournament continues to see which workplaces are manly enough to ignore all those pesky cracks in the glass ceiling. Also stay tuned for Crack Watch!—where we tally the number of women we find creeping into the org. charts of D.C. institutions.

Think you know manly from mannish? Fill out a bracket by Monday, Oct. 20, to be submitted in our contest. The entrant with the bracket that most closely resembles the Sexist’s findings will win a City Paper prize pack!

The American workplace’s storied glass ceiling is in pretty bad shape. Female workers are on the fast track to conquering the upper echelons of all sectors of industry, including the nation’s highest office. Democratic presidential candidate Hillary Clinton invoked the ceiling in her June concession speech: “Although we weren’t able to shatter that highest, hardest glass ceiling this time, thanks to you, it’s got about 18 million cracks in it,” Clinton said, adding, “the light is shining through like never before, filling us all with the hope and the sure knowledge that the path will be a little easier next time.” With Clinton’s defeat, the glass-crushing spread across the political aisle. As Republican vice presidential candidate and self-described “feminist” Sarah Palin confirms, “Women certainly today have every opportunity to succeed.”

But what about that unsung other half of our nation’s workforce: men? As more and more women enter the workplace and climb to its highest ranks, they do so to the detriment of a group that has comfortably occupied high-level positions in our nation’s capital for centuries. At risk of extinction are D.C.’s manliest institutions: its unions, newspapers, and government agencies. In 2008, what workplaces may truly call themselves manly?

The Sexist is pleased to announce D.C.’s Manliest Workplace Competition. Beginning next week, The Sexist will run 64 D.C. workplaces in eight industries through a highly unsophisticated algorithm to assess each organization’s manliness. In order to determine manliness, the Sexist will take the top 10 positions in each organization, ascertain which positions are staffed by men, then assign a point value to each male staffer. A man in the highest-ranking position (i.e., president, CEO, publisher) will earn 10 points; one in the 10th-most-powerful spot will receive one point. The manliest workplace—one that employs all men, all the time, in the most powerful and well-paid positions—can score as high as 55 on the Manly Index. The least manly workplace—one that employs no men, none of the time, in any position—will receive a zero.

The Manly Index
0-10: Non-manly
11-30: Mannish
31-50: Manly
50-55: Manliest

Note: The Sexist reserves right to base assumptions on hasty once-over of workplace’s org chart. If a workplace’s chart does not have clearly ranked positions, the Sexist will arbitrarily assign rank. If a workplace employs fewer than 10 people in total, the Sexist will improvise.

Example: Washington City Paper

Publisher Amy Austin (Female, 0 points)
Editor Erik Wemple (Male, 9 points)
Ad Sales Director David J. Walker (Male, 8 points)
New Media Director Joshua Lieb (Male, 7 points)
Business Devel. Manager Sheila Alexander-Reid (Female, 0 points)
Information Technology Director Jim Gumm (Male, 6 points)
Managing Editor Andrew Beaujon (Male, 5 points)
Classified Sales Manager Heather McAndrews (Female, 0 points)
Assistant Managing Editor Jule Banville (Female, 0 points)
Senior Writer Jason Cherkis (Male, 1 point)

Note: The Washington City Paper scores a 36 on the Manly Index, indicating that the paper is barely even manly.

The Sexist recognizes the need for affirmative action in the pursuit of manliness. Historically non-manly organizations face several obstacles to becoming manly. These workplaces deal in traditionally non-manly pursuits, such as domestic violence protection and book lending. Additionally, they lack a male base, making recruiting of even manlier employees challenging. In order to level the playing field, the Sexist will add a full point to the manly index of workplaces that traditionally employ women. This progressive affirmative action policy will help lift historically non-manly organizations from the depths of femininity, while ensuring the Sexist Cinderella-story material throughout contest coverage.

Remember, this is a numbers game. No matter how macho the corporate culture at your environmental nonprofit, if it can’t show the men, it will fall hard and fast.

Factors the Manliest Workplace Tournament will not take into consideration (among others): Presidential Fitness Award honorees employed; history of sexual harassment suits filed against workplace; importance of tool belt to employee uniform; homosocial ass-slapping traditions. While these factors certainly add to the “heart” of a manly workplace, the Manliest Workplace competition looks only at the true test of an organization’s manliness: How many men the workplace employs, and how high on the org chart it employs them. (Additional manly factors may be considered in the event of a tie).

Think you know manly from mannish? Fill out the bracket with your picks for D.C.’s manliest workplaces. Find a paper bracket on page 46 of this week’s newspaper, or complete our handy on-line bracket.

Send your paper brackets to:

Amanda Hess
Washington City Paper
2390 Champlain St. NW
Washington, DC 20009

The winner wins something!