In this era of crazed, critically crowded congregations of millions of Americans on national park land, who has time to watch television from the comfort of your home? That’s why I’ve volunteered my time to record this historic event as presented on television. Here we gooo!

11:20 a.m. … Jimmy Carter! George H.W. Bush! Bill Clinton! Trivia question—what is the unifying trait of all these old white men?

Read More “The Sexist Watches The Inauguration on TV So You Don’t Have To” »

A week from today, if the McCain-Palin ticket manages an unexpected, mavericky victory and clinches the presidency, low-rent bloggers, editorial cartoonists, and Hustler will all silently rejoice. Sarah Palin has been a Wasilla-Assembly-of-God-send for Web traffic numbers (Exhibits A and B) since her sudden Sept. nomination as McCain’s veep. News of Hustler’s Palin spoof porn alone has sent thousands of clicks to this modest local outfit. To those googling for “sarah palin adult film,” “palin porn preview,” and “adult film stars palin look-a-like“: I salute you!

If Palin doesn’t push her running mate over the edge by Election Day, it’s going to be a real ratings suck for Internet publications across the blogosphere. What new trend could possibly replace Palin? Here are five suggestions, based on this blog’s other top google hits. Integrate these lessons into your Web copy, and it’s smooth sailin’ until 2012.

5. Lindsay Lohan. Ever since Lindsay Lohan went gay, she’s been even more like Web traffic honey: sweet and sticky. Work Lindsay + Lohan + gay into your blog posts, sprinkle on a coating of Samantha + Ronson, and let the admirers, the haters, and the perverts roll in.

Read More “Goobye, Sarah Palin; Oh Fuck, What Are We Gonna Do Now?” »

My friends, stay with me tonight as I watch the third and final presidential debate—and the live-bloggers who live-blog it. That’s right, we’re live-blogging the live-bloggers here at The Sexist live blog. Who will offer the funniest/most inane commentary? Will it be Joe Curl of the Washington Times? Jim Newell at Wonkette? You, the people, twittering the night away? Stay tuned.

8:58 PM … The Washington Time has a slight edge by having a reporter live-blog from the actual debate, while Wonkette, in a stunning maverick move, looks to have decided on a squirrel theme. Good move.

9:02 PM … Silence on stage, but chatter in the blogosphere! An aimeefausser, practicing something called “twittering” (as far as I can tell, some sort of rustic artisan craft), chimes in with this analysis: “hahah john mccain looks like he wants to kick obama in the balls.” Thank you Internets.

9:05 PM … Ken Layne takes over at Wonkette: starts off with, ” It was super nice of McCain to loan Chris Matthews one of his old gay sweaters.” Zzzzzing!

9:06 PM … Curl, meanwhile, has the inside-the-debate scoop on Schieffer: “He just coughed, drank water, coughed again.” Bob Schieffer: A human!

Read More “DEBATE LIVE BLOG: Barack, John, and the Live-Bloggers Who Love Them” »

I know, I know: You don’t even want to watch the last debate. Sure, you were feeling pretty good after the first one; everything seemed so new and exciting! But then there was that vice presidential unpleasantness, and last week you found yourself whiling away your Tuesday evening with Barack and John at Town Hall Debate Nap Hour. Now, you’re not even sure you have the strength to flip on the television, much less follow an entire twitterverse of live-blogged opinions.

So join us tonight for the Sexist’s live-blog live blog, where we live-blog your live blogs for you! (Hear that, Google? We’re live-blogging!) This evening, watch the debate with us as we rate the live blogs of your favorite Washington live-bloggers, from the sarcastic leftist live-bloggings of Wonkette (rumored to have carried on domestic terrorist affair with Bill Ayers) to the hard-hitting right-wing catchphrase recycled live-bloggers over at the Washington Times (once caught attempting to nail Jello to a wall). Bonus: The best and worst of the twitter pile (I’m looking at you, Fishbowl D.C.)!

Stay tuned to The Sexist around 9 p.m. EST for all your live-blog needs. Live blog.

I’ll be live-blogging the presidential town hall debate over at City Desk tonight. Follow along here starting around 9 p.m., or take the edge off with the Town Hall Debate Drinking Game.

Earlier I live-blogged Thursday’s Vice Presidential Debate. Yep, there was a drinking game for that one, too.

* So, the vice presidential debate was last night. Read my live blog of the event here and post-debate response here.

* Quick recap on women’s and GLBT issues because there’s not much to say. The candidates (and moderator Gwen Ifill) were largely silent on women’s issues, beyond Biden name-dropping the Violence Against Women Act and Palin laughably veering the Straight Talk Express to give a brief shout out to “our respect for women’s rights.” Palin and Biden did find some troubling middle ground on gay marriage. Both said that they supported equal benefits for same sex couples, but announced in no uncertain terms that they oppose gay marriage. Palin announced that she was “tolerant” and again used her One Gay Friend as an example of her acceptance of the gay “choice.” Biden said marriage should be a “decision to be left up to the faiths.” Agreed,  Biden, but what the fuck do the “faiths” have to do with the legal definition of marriage?

* Slate explains how debate moderator Gwen Ifill is free to choose her own questions—ostensibly. Jason Cherkis has already said everything I want to say about Ifill: “Could she have bothered to press either candidate (but especially Palin) when they refused—sometimes openly refused—to answer her questions? Or how about a follow-up when Palin suggested expanding the veep’s authority? Or what about healthcare? Ifill couldn’t even press Palin after the candidate dodged a softball on the candidates’ weaknesses.” If anything, Ifill’s perceived “conflict of interest” made her uninterested in doing her job: Simply requiring the candidates to answer her questions instead of shooing them beneath the podium and (drill baby) drilling home their talking point.

* A quick note on personality: Biden’s had 35 years in the Senate to define his persona as an advocate for the middle class; Palin, by her own admission, has had five weeks on the national stage to do the same. Palin did her best to push through as the gosh-darn, winking, folksy Alaskan mama bear in the debate, dropping “Main Street” and “kitchen table” like nobody’s business—even mentioning the “soccer mom” along with the “hockey mom” to broaden her extracurricular-activity appeal. In the end, Biden finally just fucking explains why it’s ridiculous for them to spend the whole debate fighting about who’s more “real.” TPM has a video clip of the moment:

8:50 P.M. It’s on, ya’ll. Prepare your televisions, fire up your Internets, and ready your drinks.

8:58 P.M. What is the best network to watch the debates on? A haggard-looking Chris Matthews is babbling away on MSNBC.

9:00 P.M. Gwen Ifill lays it down. Half domestic, half foreign policy. Chosen by Ifill. Order by coin toss. No “untoward outbursts.” None of this free-flowing Lehrer shit.

9:03 P.M. Can I call you Joe!?

Read More “NOW: Live Blogging the Vice Presidential Debate” »

Live commentary on the vice presidential debate, tonight at Washington University in St. Louis.

Only three hours to go until the most important U.S. vice presidential live blog since Al Gore invented the Internets. Some words for our competitors: Watch out, Senator Biden—Sarah Palin’s been reading the newspapers, all of them! Not so fast, Governor Palin—Joe Biden’s been gaffin’ up gaffe-town since you were in like second grade! Woah there, Gwen Ifill—try to keep the fist-bumping Obama stooge in you in check for an hour and a half— City Paper folk hero Dave McKenna demands it of you! Candidates, clip on the unmovable fortresses which are your hairdos and get ready to rumble! BONUS: This live blog now accepting live comments! Live! Oh my goodness I am so excited!

Stay tuned here for The Sexist’s play-by-play of the 2008 vice presidential debate.

While you’re at it: Take the edge off the Sarah Palin/Joe Biden showdown by playing along with The Sexist’s 2008 Vice Presidential Drinking Game.

The debate begins at 9 p.m. EST; I’ll be live-blogging here starting around 8:45.