Posts Tagged ‘Lindsay Lohan’
Washington Post “Dares” to Call Lindsay Lohan “Haggard”
In an editorial slide-show titled Lindsay Lohan: A Metamorphosis, the Washington Post’s Liz Kelly revisits the many looks the 23-year-old starlet has cultivates over the years. But this is no style retrospective treatment, a la Madonna’s chameleon-like fashion choices or Tyra’s wacky wigs. This slide-show is focused exclusively on each stage of Lohan’s career, and whether or not she looked ugly in it!
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Top 10 Absurd Barbara Walters Tweets
Barbara Walters‘ Twitter feed is better than ours because, unlike our own worthless personal updates, Walters can honestly answer “What are you doing?” by invoking Paul McCartney, Mayor Bloomberg, and “stamina.” The top 10 absurd updates from @BarbaraJWalters:
10. Barbara knocks out the personal and the professional in under 140 characters.
9. I love how Barbara calls what she does “making news.”
A Hierarchy Of the Human Nipple (NSFW ZOOM)
The human nipple is a strange beast. Depending on the context, this “small projection of skin containing the outlets for 15-20 lactiferous ducts arranged cylindrically around the tip” has been marketed as alternately sexy, obscene, artistic, disgusting, and even sexier.
But as a consumer of nipple shots, such versatility can become confusing. It’s often difficult to know the socially acceptable reaction to every stray projection of skin that catches your eye. Should you high-five your buddy or vomit discreetly into your hands? I’m here to help.
Lindsay Lohan’s e-Harmony Ad
Now that e-Harmony is legally required to provide dating services for gays, newly single (possible) lesbian Lindsay Lohan has created a video profile seeking love in a spoof on the site for FunnyOrDie.com. In the faux singles ad, Lohan describes herself as “a workaholic, a shopaholic, and, according to the state of California, an alcoholic,” which is pretty funny, and also, depressing.
Daily Intel and Slate’s XX Factor have congratulated La Lohan on the video, saying she’s found the one way to make the public embrace her again, as XX Factor’s Samantha Henig writes, “in spite of the mess she has become—or rather, because she is so self-aware of said mess.”
But despite the funny lines she’s been fed, and her willingness to be a good sport by choking them out, I can’t help but noting that Lohan looks mechanical, exhausted, and lifeless throughout this thing. Perhaps it’s too soon for Lohan to enthusiastically embrace self-deprecating jokes on her very recent split with Samantha Ronson. She half-heartedly endures them instead—below.
Samantha Ronson Hits Lux Again
Samantha Ronson’s back! I guess she liked LUX when she hit it up for a post-New Year’s party last month. The DJ returns to the club, at 649 New York Ave. NW, this Friday. Last time, she arrived sans Lohan; the laws of probability suggest that Lindsay will appear on Friday, spend her whole time blogging on Myspace from the back of SamRo’s DJ booth, then throw a temper tantrum about something. Tell Brightest Young Things why you love them to score free tickets.
Gorilla Up-Skirt Confirms Baby’s Sex
The rest of the National Zoo’s gorilla population is not amused.
The Washington Post reports today that the baby gorilla born in the National Zoo on Jan. 10 is a baby girl. A zoo spokesperson said it took zookeepers a full three weeks to determine the sex of the gorilla; post-birth, the “hairy arm” of 26-year-old gorilla mama Mandara “protected the newborn and screened her from view.” But mama couldn’t cage this little wild child forever:
Samantha Ronson, Lindsay Lohan Back in D.C.?
Back so soon, SamRo and LiLo? British DJ Samantha Ronson will be spinning at LUX Lounge this evening, mere months after she and girlfriend Lindsay Lohan hit up Lotus in October. The evening, sponsored by Miller Lite, is called “Break Your Resolutions.” Really, because my resolution was to not get very drunk and attempt to make out with Lindsay Lohan tonight at LUX. Perfect!
While there’s no guarantee that Lohan will show with Ronson at LUX, located at 649 New York Ave. NW, that’s no reason not to go, hang out too close to the DJ booth trying to see her, and not have any fun at all tonight ever. Whatever, no cover for the laaadiessssss! Bonus: Hit up Metromix within the next 20 minutes to get on the guest list and win a chance for “VIP table service” complete with “a bottle of Absolut 100, a bottle of Moet Champagne, a bucket of Miller Lites and entry for up to six of your best friends.”
Lohan in D.C.: Lindsay Blogs from Lotus
Last night, British musician and DJ Samantha Ronson spun at Lotus Lounge’s “Hollywood Vibes Come to K Street” fete, a fund-raiser for the Children’s Miracle Network. Ronson donated her world-renowned skills on the tables for an important cau—yeah, yeah, whatever, did you know that she dates Lindsay Lohan, and that Lindsay Lohan is hot and maybe also gay? Yesterday, local gossip hounds got to speculatin’ as to whether the Ronson bill would mean that joined-at-the-hip Lohan would be gracing our fair city’s nightlife scene, too.
Well, at 1:15 a.m. this morning, Lohan answered that question—and others that you didn’t even know you had—in a blog posted straight from Ronson’s DJ booth to LiLo’s Myspace page. Here’s what Lohan had to say about the District:
