Daniel Nardicio has served as the director of marketing for Playgirl magazine since August of 2009. Since then, Nardicio has introduced three crucial developments to the long-time beefcake mag: (a) Acknowledgment of the magazine's gay readership; (b) a nude Levi Johnston; and (c) "The Shaggin' Wagon" (above).

Yesterday, Nardicio circled his magenta, man-centric wagon outside of the Georgetown University campus in search of hunks for the magazine's annual "Campus Hunks" issue. I spoke with Nardicio over the phone about the strength of D.C.'s hunks, the lingering perviness of  driving a man van, and straight dude recruiting, post-Levi:

SEXIST: How was Georgetown? Did you meet any hunks?

Daniel Nardicio: Tons! The great thing about the van is—once we decided to wrap the van, we thought it would be really funny to do a college tour and drive it on to all these campuses. What I’m learning from this now is that I don’t even have to leave the van. I thought I’d have to get out and walk around and humiliate myself, but I don't. People will just come up to the van and ask us things. We're giving away t-shirts, posters, and we have some of the last Levi Johnston issues in the back. So it’s been great. We have a lot of guys coming up, and some girls coming up too, telling us they want to see their boyfriends in Playgirl. It's very progressive.

Do you think straight guys are turned off by it?

DN: No! I have to say, I love the South, because contrary to what people think, people are so friendly. They're really respectful. Sure, some people walk past the van and look down or look away. Most people—like over at Georgetown yesterday and at Rutgers—are coming over to pull their shirt off to show their abs. I get a lot of cat-calling in the van. Sometimes I think the guys wish a hot girl were driving it—I kind of wish it was, too! I kind of wish it wasn’t me sometimes! But they’ve been great. The main reaction I get from straight guys is, "My buddy would love to be in this," or, "Do you think I’m hot enough to be in Playgirl?"

So, were any of them hot enough?

DN: Oh my god. Yeah. I have to say, Georgetown is beautiful . . . We drove around around the area and walked around the campus itself, and people were really friendly, and there were a lot of beautiful guys.

Do you think you have to advertise the magazine differently for straight women and gay men?

DN: I was handed a great gift with Playgirl, because it appeals to both straight women and gay men. So straight men feel more comfortable with it—it's not like I'm driving up in a van for Honcho or Inches magazine. If I did that, I'd get things thrown at me. I consider Playgirl to be the classic American brand. It comes out of a feminist background from the 1970's, and so there's a lot of goodwill toward it. So I'm just really trying to find the most interesting, attractive guys for the magazine and promote it that way.

When I came onto the magazine, Playgirl wasn't really acknowledging its male readership. I succeeded in getting rid of the "Entertainment For Women" byline—it was doing a disservice to the gay readers. Now, we're the most open to both. Playgirl was the first magazine to be doing this male erotica in the mainstream, and now, we're embracing our gay guys, straight women, and smattering of straight guys that buy the magazine—believe me, there are a few of those. And we’re very proud of the fact we really put a dent in Sarah Palin’s reputation. We're very, very proud of that.

So do you think Playgirl is in this sweet spot where it's insulated from criticism both by feminists and by homophobes?

DN: You know, what’s good for the goose is good for the gander. Women were objectified for so long, and now straight men are being objectified. It's a great position to be in. I'll drive my van down the street and yell at construction workers—"Hey! Show me your dick!" I do this for fun, and to let them know what it feels like to be cat-called. Of course they yell things at me, but let’s face it—it’s hilarious to turn the tables on this. But the van is so in-your-face—I don’t want to say it's so "gay," because it’s not necessarily "gay"—it's just in-your-face male sexuality. There's a brilliance to it in a weird way, because it's all about beefcake men, and it's in a position where people are really forced to acknowledge that. So it's fun to watch their reactions.

Unlike the construction workers, though, it seems like some of the straight guys are really into this.

DN: Oh my god, yeah. It's great! At first, I was a little scared going into Rutgers yesterday. I felt like Chris Hanson was going to jump out, like To Catch a Predator. I felt very pervy for a few minutes. But the great thing is that the reputation of the magazine isn’t really hardcore, and guys seem to respond to it really well. The greatest response guys have for me is, "Do I measure up?" Of course, I’ll still get called "faggot" now and again, but that's something you learn to live with when you drive a magenta van. It's like being in a pride parade 24-7.

Do you think gay men particularly like seeing straight guys in the magazine?

Yes. As a gay man, I think there’s something about the power of turning the tables. Growing up, a lot of us were bullied. I know I was bullied by straight guys in high school for being gay. And I think there’s something to be said for straight guys, you know, stripping down for us. Even with Levi, you know, there was that satisfying elment of the straight cocky stud from Alaska taking off his clothes. Levi is now actually amazingly, amazingly gay friendly. He's even pro-marriage.

Where are you going next?

Tonight I'm headed to Chapel Hill. We're going to work frat row, driving around the frat bars. I'm a little nervous about what the reception is going to be like in Chapel Hill. Hopefully you won't hear any news of my car being torched. . . . But I'm meeting some people I know, and they told me that they recruited a couple of really cute girls to help us out. So that will help. I think we've got three girls and a couple of gay guys to work frat row with me.

Interview has been condensed.

Hunks! We still call them that, apparently. And now, the "internet’s leading source for hot nude celebrity hunks" is seeking the hunkiest of all hunks to disrobe in its annual "Campus Hunks Issue." Playgirl spokesperson Daniel Nardicio—the man behind both Levi Johnston's shoot and the Playgirl "Shaggin’ Wagon" (pictured, with strategically placed hunks)—has sent out a press release alerting the District that his wagon will be tied up on the Georgetown University campus this weekend in the interest of culling local co-ed beefcake material for the online mag.

Will Georgetown's Jesuits be receptive to an influx of gleaming naked dudes on campus? According to Nardicio's blog, Playgirl is more concerned with how it will be received at the next school on the list—Richmond's Virginia Commonwealth University. "I mean, yes I’ve done some outrageous things, but is heading to colleges in the SOUTH to look for hot guys for Playgirl pushing it too far???" Nardicio writes.

But enough thinking, more hunks! The press release—including submission details—is below.

PLAYGIRL To Conduct Nationwide Search for For Annual “Campus Hunks Issue”.

New York, New York. April 26th, 2010. PLAYGIRL.com, the internet’s leading source for hot nude celebrity hunks, has announced it a search for hot college guys in for its annual Campus Hunks Issue. Director of Marketing Daniel Nardicio will be conducting tours of both East and West Coast colleges this spring. The photos from the June shoot will be in the September Issue of the magazine.

The increasingly popular magazine has experienced a renaissance after the phenomenal success of the sell-out Levi Johnston issue. Playgirl recently signed high-profile shoots with “Make Me a Supermodel” star Ronnie Kroell. Kroell and professional basketball player (and Logo "Shirts and Skin's star) Demarco Majors. The fashion-inspired Majors shoot debuts June 15th and will most definitely be a hit with the magazine’s gay readers.

Nardicio is excited to begin his tour. “Our Campus Hunks issue is always popular with readers. With the success of the Levi, we're more than ready to take our super sexy Playgirl van around to campuses looking for the next centerfold.”

Nardicio and Co. will be conducting searches at Rutgers, Georgetown and Princeton this weekend. With Midwest stops in Ohio State University plus Tulane University in New Orleans just to name a few. All models will be flown to Miami for a group shot in June.

Nardicio encourages college aged applicants to send their pics to Model@Playgirl.com and put “Campus Hunk” in the subject line.

Additional details, via Playgirl.com:

ARE YOU A CAMPUS HUNK? WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE IN PLAYGIRL MAGAZINE? DO YOU NEED SUMMER CASH? IF YOU HAVE WHAT IT TAKES, PLAYGIRL IS SEARCHING FOR YOU! EMAIL 4 PHOTOS TO MODEL@PLAYGIRL.COM (2 G-RATED & 2 X-RATED PHOTOS . JPGS UNDER 1MB PREFERRED . INCLUDE: NAME, PHONE NUMBER & COLLEGE YOU ATTEND . SUBJECT LINE: "CAMPUS HUNK".) IF YOU ARE CHOSEN, YOU WILL BE FLOWN TO MIAMI FOR A PHOTO SHOOT IN JUNE. 18+ ONLY.

Listen up, teens: Guess what happens when you get teen pregnant, you're not allowed to have a smushmortion, and you can't figure out how to secretly swap your fetus into your mother's aging but willing womb. Umm . . . you get rewarded with an eccentric celebrity handler and sexy undies shots in Vanity Fair? Oh ho no, honey, that's what's happens to the dude. What happens to you is you get to hold the dang thing throughout a couple of tortured appearances on a crazy middle-aged lady's FOX News program, and then everyone makes fun of you for being a hypocrite because GOD, YOU WISH YOU HAD NEVER EVEN HAD SEX. And then you have to raise it.

Did I mention your babby's daddy got to do Tyra?

In this edition of Sexist Beatdown: Why Sady of Tiger Beatdown and I think that's kind of fucked up, actually? BONUS: what to expect next in the SARAH PALYN SNOMOBLOWJOB TODD PALYN BAREBACK LEVI JOHNSON porn saga of the Palin family story, after the jump.

AMANDA: Hi!

SADY: WHY HELLO. are you ready to discuss THE TERRIBLE REVELATIONS OF LEVI JOHNSTON???? because there are a few, apparently.

AMANDA: Yeah. Apparently Sarah Palin attempted to engineer the EXACT SAME LEFT-WING BABY-SWITCHING CONSPIRACY that liberal bloggers speculated about after photos of pregnant Bristol surfaced during the campaign.

SADY: ha ha, yes. but the version of Sarah Palin in this article is capable of all trickery.

AMANDA: but not of cooking.

SADY: yes. it's the intimate revelations of terribleness that are really special. she apparently often walked in on Levi and Tripp (?) and tried to trade him for Trig (??) saying, "I don't want the retarded baby — I want the other one." did you get a chance to read the full article?

AMANDA: No! That's fucking insane! I just watched a video of Levi Johnston posing in men's formalwear. I think I missed the good stuff.

SADY: well: one gets the sense that mr. johnston may be, let us say, playing up the anti-palinry a bit. it is a really, really anti-palin article. also, there's some thing in there with meghan mccain throwing a fit because no-one will do her hair, which her rep calls a "naive mischaracterization." NO-ONE COMES OFF WELL, i am telling you. only LEVI JOHNSTON, sole bastion of integrity among the corrupt palin clan. which: i kind of doubt it. but speaking of poses, you may soon have the opportunity to see levi himself in his underthings!

AMANDA: Yes, but at the same time, I think that Levi Johnston may be the only person who really gets it. First of all, Levi Johnston is hot. Like Sarah Palin

SADY: Ah, true. They have so much in common! Like Darth Vader and Luke Skywalker, really. But with more snowmobiling involved.

AMANDA: yeah, but Levi Johnston is willing to settle for that. By which I mean hot photo-shoots and tabloid-y tell alls, and a personal handler named Tank. And from my perspective, that's a pretty good life!

SADY: Right? There was Trip and Trig and Tank... lots of T-names. I'm surprised he can keep them all straight. I can't, really.

AMANDA: yeah. but the point is, he's not trying to ruin the lives of a whole country of humans! i know: low standard

SADY: it's true, it's true! Sarah Palin does set an imposing standard for any young douchebucket. like, i guess i'm fine with the whole self-serving tabloid expose thingy as long as he's not trying to make Jurassic Park illegal for promoting evolution. or something.

AMANDA: yeah. Also, if he keeps along this path, my election season prediction of him becoming a porn performer may come true!

SADY: ah, so now we see what this is about. your GAMBLING ADDICTION. i plan to tell all to vanity fair.

AMANDA: yeah. I wonder how easy it is, though, just to make up an absurd lie about sarah palin's home life? Because at this point, i think people will really believe anything, they hate her so much. still, I wonder: could any mind have invented the "I don't want the retarded baby" story?

SADY: it's true! that is kind of unmatchable, all things considered. i automatically distrust anyone who tells these kinds of "and then I stood around and was awesome and watched everyone else in the world suck" stories. but, on the other hand, the idea that sarah palin, at home, "would literally say things that did not make any sense." that is sensical.

AMANDA: I don’t know. I can’t hate him. he doesn't seem like a liar to me, and any overblown statements i just have to attribute to him enduring media scrutiny for having the grandson of a famous crazy lady while in high school. i didn't have to endure any of that shit in high school, and i was still kinda bratty

SADY: yeah, exactly. he does, all things told, come across as a regular dumb dude that you'd maybe make out with in high school. who is maybe still a little bitter that sarah palin made him cut off his mullet (the mullet plays a crucial role!) and threatened to spray-tan him.

AMANDA: dude, NO

SADY: i don't MIND levi johnston so much as i mind the media creation of "Levi Johnston: Totally Admirable Guy! Who is Cute! And Also Sexy!" like, one thing i have learned from the levi johnston thing, as a whole, is that if you accidentally get someone pregnant in high school you can end up a sex symbol. and if you accidentally GET pregnant in high school, you end up a tragedy.

AMANDA: bummer. you're totally right. imagine a bristol palin interview treatment that was super fun and sexy like this one!

SADY: I KNOWWWWWWWW.

AMANDA: i think the closest bristol could get to that would be doing an US Weekly How I Got My Body Back.

SADY: and yet? i think if one could give bristol a year or two and get her away from the whole family dynamic? she would be a far better storyteller. SHE WAS FORCED TO MARRY THE GENTLEMAN WHO STOLE HER VIRTUE. AS IN YE OLDEN DAYS. if you want dirt, that lady is the one to get dirt from. should she ever be in a position to reveal it.

AMANDA: and her options were: have the baby, or have the baby and have your mom steal your baby. although i would bet that bristol and levi's porn performance options are roughly equal.

SADY: um, yeah. i'm kind of surprised that there's no bristol "paylin" porn on the market already. maybe they're waiting until they can get levi?

AMANDA: oh man—mind went slightly insane imagining all the creepy options available. "trig palin isn't the only thing sarah wanted to trade"

SADY: you know. every now and again i realize what life would be like if i had no scruples. and i imagine myself rolling around on a bed of pure gold with a mattress stuffed with $1,000 bills.

AMANDA: and a handler named Tank!

SADY: and all i would have to do is to invent some scenario whereby levi "johnson" and todd "paylin" bond – WITH TANK, TANK'S NAME COULD STAY – over snowmobiles and enthusiastic outdoor sexual escapades.

AMANDA: what does it say about society that one political family's story translates so easily to pornographic storylines?

SADY: power corrupts. and power within a tiny little town in the middle of nowhere where the kids have nothing to do but make out to conserve their bodily heat and their mom is better suited to image-making than rational thought corrupts absolutely. or something.

[youtube:v=mXdyB-wAnms]

[youtube:v=MwhqPEhzGFk]

Sarah Seltzer for Reproductive Health Reality Check wonders if Levi is a "victim" in the Palin spotlight. "The Internet is buzzing over Levi Johnston's appearance on Tyra yesterday to 'break his silence,' and providing us all with a reminder that patriarchal policies like abstinence-only education hurt young men, too," writes Seltzer.

I couldn't agree more: We're all victims here: Levi, Bristol, Tripp, and Palin herself all suffered at the hands of her ridiculous abstinence (with a teenage pregnancy backup) method. Everyone, that is, except Tyra, who pulls a fierce Katie Couric to get the daytime interview of the post-pregnancy season.

NUMBER 24: The Daily Mail reports on a poll ranking the world's most beautiful lady politicians. The poll was conducted by Spain's " 20 Minutos" newspaper, so, whatever. Peruvian congresswoman Luciana Leon is the most beautiful. Of the 54 women on the list, Palin currently ranks 24th, with 3,173 votes. At 61, Hillary Clinton is the oldest lady politician to make the list, coming in at 34th place with 2485 votes.

On the one hand, ranking the attractiveness of female politicians is extremely sexist. On the other, readers of "20 Minutos" are collectively aware of 54 female politicians internationally! That's progress!

CATHOLICS: BRISTOL EVIDENCE AGAINST EVANGELICAL "SHOTGUN" MARRIAGE: Upon hearing that Bristol & Levi's Palin-promised union would be no more, WaPo Catholic America blogger writes:

So much for what used to be called a "shotgun marriage." Evangelicals are of another faith and are entitled to believe as they might about the power of grace to heal and transform human inclinations. In Catholic America today, however, priests often counsel against shotgun marriages. "The chances for such a marriage enduring are very low," I was told by a pastor whose judgment I respect. "Better to wait and see if the marriage will endure beyond the birth of the child before celebrating the Sacrament of Marriage. Let them marry in a civil ceremony for legal appearances, if they want, but not in church."

So, I guess Levi and Bristol ended up doing the Catholic thing.

HOW MUCH MONEY DID SHE TURN AWAY? Palin rejected $288 million in stimulus money. I'm with Arnold here—hell, I'll take that money!

LET'S WATCH THIS STUPID VIDEO AGAIN ABOUT WHY TRIG ISN'T SARAH'S BABY:

[youtube:v=EnBjwZ93n6Q]

PALIN COMPLAINS MORE ABOUT "JOURNALISM TODAY," reports Politico's Ben Smith:

"Some in the media actually participated in not so much the 'who-what-where-when-why' objective reporting on candidates and positions, those five W's that I learned when I had a journalism degree so many years ago in college, when the world of journalism was quite different than it is today," she said.

"No, things have changed," she continued. "But complaining? Or whining? Absolutely not. But I am going to call it like I see it. It doesn't do any good to whine about any of this. But I can call it like I see it. Sometimes it gets me in a lot of trouble when I speak candidly, and I speak from the heart and I do such a thing. But I am going to."

Let us pray.

"So I'm looking around for somebody to pray with, I just need maybe a little help, maybe a little extra," she said. "And the McCain campaign, love 'em, you know, they're a lot of people around me, but nobody I could find that I wanted to hold hands with and pray." As the crowd laughed, Palin grinned and said she meant no disrespect to the McCain campaign. She said she ultimately prayed with her daughter Piper.

Photo by NationalGovernorsAssociation

O'REILLY & GRETA & BRISTOL, OH MY! O'Reilly weighs in on the Bristol Palin / Levi Johnston fallout: MSNBC "incredibly viscious"; "disturbed individuals egged on by . . . the Air America on the radio."

BONUS: Greta downplays O'Reilly's characterization that she is "close to the Palin family," sayinh, "The only way that I've met them is by interviewing them. I don't socialize with them or spend a lot of time with them."

Greta goes on to chastize journalists who are "gushing with glee" to her at the news; O'Reilly says, "nobody would do that to me."

PALIN POLLIN' IOWA? The Mudflats heard tell of some peculiar robocalls fielded in Iowa and New Hampshire. The recording went a little something like this:

I wanted to let you know that I just received an interesting phone call.  It was an automated poll and it asked the following questions:

1. Do you have a favorable opinion of Sarah Palin?

2. Gov. Palin thinks A, B, C, D & E do you agree with Gov. Palin?

3. Do you feel it is important that Gov. Palin is reelected as Gov. of Alaska?

The Iowa Independent weighs in on the premature polling:

Notably, some of the governors whose names are mentioned as possible candidates will have to decide whether to run for reelection in 2010.  Put Minnesota Gov. Tim Pawlenty and Louisiana Gov. Bobby Jindal into that category with Palin.  The three of them might find it awkward to run for reelection as governor with all of their state’s voters asking whether they still even want the job.

WHO COMMISSIONED THE POLL? It's not clear yet, but the Independent ventures it ain't Palin:

This far out from an election, polling is very difficult, and anybody who is considering running for president might find the results of a poll about Palin more useful than a poll about themselves.  If a recorded voice called you up and started asking whether you thought Pawlenty should run for reelection as governor, would you even know whom it was talking about?

SUCK IT, JINDAL: Alaska's Mount Redoubt erupts, "spews ash and steam to 50,000 feet"; ash cloud possibly heading toward Anchorage.

CONSERVATIVE PAPE NAILS PALIN: The Alaska Standard reviews Palin's Anchorage Lincoln Dinner speech, wherein the Governor complains about media criticism during the election (again) and compares herself to Abraham Lincoln (for possibly the first time):

[Palin] spent the bulk of her speech talking about tearing down and critics, but nothing about the economic future of the state. She announced what the personal financial cost of her “open and transparent” has cost her to avoid being open and transparent. As a matter of fact, only one person spoke of issues greater than self with any conviction and clarity, and that person is the clear face of the Alaska Republican Party: Lisa Murkowski.

PALIN RESPONDS to Barry Obama's quip that he bowls like he belongs in the Special Olympics.

"This was a degrading remark about our world's most precious and unique people, coming from the most powerful position in the world," said Palin, whose son Trig has Down syndrome. "These athletes overcome more challenges, discrimination and adversity than most of us ever will."

Kolan McConiughey, a 35-year-old Special Olympics bowler "who has bowled five perfect games since 2005," was more forgiving: "He's a cool guy. He's an awesome President and he has a very nice wife."

MORE ON SARAH VS. BARACK: Palin calls the stimulus money offered to Alaska "a bribe" and turns down 45 percent of the funds, some of which would go toward special education in the state. (Huh?)

Asks Alaska Dispatch: "What does that make stimulus money she took, and all the other federal money woven into the state?  What does it make the energy relief money Alaskans received last year? How does this name calling make federal leaders more likely to help Alaska in the future? In these unusually trying circumstances, the governor was wrong not to accept the stimulus money, and she compounded her mistake by injecting divisive inflammatory rhetoric into the discussion."

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OTHER ALASKANS would prefer to keep the cash: They staged a rally in Anchorage over the weekend.

COMPETITION FOR SARAH? "Conservatives size up Sanford for 2012."

ARE THE PALINS KEEPING BRISTOL AND LEVI APART? Who cares, but maybe, writes Immortal Majority: "I have confirmation that Todd Palin and Levi Johnston had a HUGE argument in Wasilla after Bristol snuck out of the house to see Levi after being told not to. This directly contradicts everything the Palins said about Bristol and Levi's relationship."

MORE ON WOLVES: Todd Palmer and Rob Pringle at Huffington Post write long, boring, only tangentially Palin-related defense of wolves. HuffPo tags it "Sarah Palin Killing Wolves." Spicy!

Photo by aka Kath

CAN SARAH PALIN SEE THIS WOMAN FROM HER HOUSE? Some are hailing this leggy blond Livejournal blogger as the future "Russian Sarah Palin" (or at the very least, the Russian Ann Coulter). She's 24, hates immigrants, and has been photographed "drunk, wrapped in a Cuban flag" (right). An excerpt from her blog:

"Думаю, заметку про меня в Дейли Мейл нужно как-нибудь откомментить. Поскольку журналисты иногда стесняются спрашивать и предпочитают додумывать:)"

Incendiary!

Her name is Maria Sergeyeva. Know it.

THE LEVI VIDEO: Hunky redneck expounds on "maturity" from truck:

[youtube:v=COEuGPYpahE]

Aww.

SHE WORKS HARD FOR THE MONEY: Republicans hope for the Palin draw: "Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin will serve as the keynote speaker at the GOP congressional committees' annual fundraising dinner in June, helping the party boost its coffers in an otherwise tough climate for collecting cash," WaPo reports. The gala will be held June 8.

IN OTHER FORMER CANDIDATE KID SPOTLIGHT NEWS: McCain spawn and Daily Beast contributer Meghan McCain thinks women who call her fat can kiss her "fat ass."

NEXT UP: GAY IS THE NEW TEEN PREGNANCY: New Majority's David Frum says Bristol proves the GOP can't win on morality alone. Anti-gay attitudes still make the cut; traditional family values, not so much. "Many conservatives carry in their heads a mental image of American society that’s a generation out of date. They imagine the existence of a huge class of socially conservative downscale voters, ready to vote Republican because of abortion and gay marriage. The story of Bristol Palin should help puncture this illusion."

FIRST DUDE WINTER SPORTS CORNER: This anonymous Internet commenter has found a new sport for Todd:
"Run, Levi, run. Sarah and Todd will give you five minutes head start. If you hear a helicopter, try to hide."

FINALLY, SOMEBODY MAKES SENSE: Levi Johnston, 19-year-old ex-fiancee of Bristol Palin, told Good Morning America that he's not yet mature enough to get married. "It’s just us not—me not—being mature enough,” he said. "We were in a fight. And trying to see if we can make things work. But this is what it kind of ended up turning into. But we’ll see what happens."

Johnston said he and Bristol broke up "about two months" after the birth of their son, Tripp. The two are open to reconciliation—when they're more mature.

COMMENCE THE SHAMING PROCESS! "Excuse me?" writes Kevin D. of Dean's World. "You’re mature enough to have sex with her, father a child by her, but you’re not mature enough to marry her? . . . And this is why abstinence only education is the only sex education that makes sense."

Hmm, okay, not the conclusion to which I would immediately jump. Let's find out where Bristol and Levi really fall on the maturity scale, shall we?

[ x ] MATURE ENOUGH to have sex
[   ] MATURE ENOUGH to be allowed to decide how to handle the results of that sex
[ x ] MATURE ENOUGH to be allowed to decide whether or not to get married (finally).

Looks like they're improving!

BRISTOL JUUUUUST GREAT: "Bristol is doing great, just great!," Palin told reporters over the weekend.

BRISTOL PALIN SPRING SPORTS CORNER: Bristol missed out on the Girl Scout cookie sales because she was out performing other adolescent activities repackaged as "state business." "Oh, Bristol is over at the state capitol building golfing in a miniature golf tournament," Palin told People. "It's a fundraiser and she's up there taking my place while I'm here." Also—oh, my God—some poor People reporter has probably been stationed in Alaska, following the Palins, since the Republican National Convention. Our hearts go out to your loved ones.

BRISTOL "UNCOOL": HuffPo's Bonnie Fuller thinks that "the Palin women take public trashing to a whole new and totally uncool level." Fuller gets most of her insight on this topic from an interview Johnston's sister, Mercede, gave to Star magazine, so she's working from pretty solid academic ground here. The story alleged that Bristol refused to allow Johnston to see their baby and that she called his family "white trash."

Writes Fuller: "Now, the reason I don't doubt Mercede's version of the story—Bristol trashing her ex and his family—is because of the very public trashing and more, that her mom has been tied to, which also involves an ex-in-law: Sarah's brother-in-law."

Let's put aside for a moment the fact that all the Star interview proves is that Johnston's sister publicly outed her brother's personal problems while smearing his ex-fiancee's character. Both Bristol and Johnston have since said the report was riddled with errors.

Still, Fuller uses the evidence to prove that Bristol is a Troopergate-level bitch, just like her mother: "You better not mess with those Palin women when romance goes awry," writes Fuller. "Slicing and dicing exes appears to be in the family genes."

Photo by aburt

FINALLY: FIANCEE TURNS BABYDADDY, says Sharon Cobb, who thinks the whole blessed holy matrimony schtick Palin paraded the kids around for was just some racist bullshit to begin with:

Why is it that when a white teenage woman gets pregnant out of wedlock it's a 'blessed event' and the father is the 'fiancé,' but a person of color is someone we think of as someone on welfare and the man is just the baby daddy? . . . Racism. Alive and sick in America. That's the difference, and had the Obamas had an 18 year old daughter who was pregnant during the election, you know damn well the stereotypes would have run rampant.

Cobb ends her smack-down by sending Bristol some well-wishes: "Hopefully, her baby daddy former flame will participate as a father."

LEVI SEES TRIP, Bristol says and AP reports: "Levi sees the baby whenever he wants, the family sees the baby whenever they want," family spokeswoman Meghan Stapleton told the news org. "Bristol is not preventing anybody from seeing Tripp at any point in time."

AP IS ALL OVER THIS BRISVI SHIT: The motives of Mercede Johnston, or "Sadie" to Stapleton, have come into question. Stapleton "speculated money was involved in the tabloid interview," saying that "the fact that it is a tabloid and a soft interview, there could be an incentive to say things. . . . We don't even know if Sadie said that." Martin Gould, senior executive editor for Star, the magazine that published the Sadie interview, "declined to say if Mercede Johnston was paid to speak to the Star. But he said the report was accurate."

WHAT WILL LEVI DO WITH HIS "BRISTOL" RING TATTOO? No, really, what is this dude going to do about that. Cover it with a real wedding ring?

COULD BRISTOL'S SPLIT HELP PALIN'S FUTURE? "These are not the kind of news stories that Palin might hope for, adding to earlier controversies over her fondness for expensive clothes and use of public money for family holidays that have consistently dogged her. Yet once again she is back in the news, and in media-saturated America that gives her an enormous strength that few within the flailing and defeated Republican party can emulate."

BRISTOL AND LEVI WERE DOOMED, Chicago Tribune reports. Dooooomed, I tell you!:

"Despite high expectations, less than 8 percent of teen mothers marry the baby's father within one year of the birth," said Bill Albert, chief program officer for the National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy. "That is magical thinking. It almost never happens."

Steve Waldman over at Beliefnet wonders if Bristol should have put Tripp up for adoption. Along the way, he actually admits that he thinks a former Vice Presidential candidate's seventeen years old indignation over fictional unwed mother Murphy Brown was spot-on. "I dunno. I was with Dan Quayle on that one," he writes. Awesome.

LEVI ON THE BREAK-UP: Nineteen-year-old Levi Johnston is single, ladies! His coming out party was held in front of his Wasilla home and was attended by a horde of bloodthirsty reporters. He told the AP that the decision to end things with 18-year-old Bristol was mutual and decided "a while ago." According to the AP, "He also said some details of the breakup, rumors of which had been swirling on the Internet, were inaccurate."

THE PAPES REACT: Freedom Eden compiles the worst of the worst:

Chicago Tribune: "No one saw this coming, right?"

Politico: "It's true. You probably don't believe it."

Los Angeles Times: "Bristol Palin, fiance Levi Johnston split. Surprised?"

Boston Herald: "Isn’t this the same Bristol Palin who told Fox News Channel’s Greta Van Susteren last month that her fiancee was a hands-on dad to their son, Tripp, and they hoped to marry after finishing their education?"

And my personal favorite (drumroll please) Christian Science Monitor: "Not even the Love Boat had a happy ending every time. . . . Remember when Charo had a crush on Capitan Stubing and they didn’t end up together? Although we were all heartbroken, Charo moved on. So will Bristol Palin. For all we know, she may be the Charo of the 21st century."

PILE IT ON: Rabbi Ben Kamin, "Spiritual Life Examiner," also has something to say!:

It’s impossible not to think of Tripp, the 2½ month-old innocent baby boy who will now not have his father as husband to his mother and whose life will be stamped with the history of an out-of-wedlock pregnancy and the failure of a couple to keep their much-ballyhooed public promise to wed and raise their son as a family.

Oh yeah, two teenagers who were only engaged because some lady who wanted to be the most powerful Vice President in United States History made them do it, should probably just stay together "for the kids." That always works out.

HUFFPO'S SNARK: Isn't just insensitive—it's incorrect. Writes Michael Shaw on an "award-winning image by photographer Melina Mara" from Election 2008 that clearly takes on a richer meaning now that Brisvi are over:

I mean, it's all there: the smirk; the fact sister Willow was mostly the one schlepping Trig; and the irony—since Bristol's since had her own baby—of being left holding the bottle. (And then, contributing to the family values, remember First Dude's tendency—out of the spotlight—to put all kinds of distance between himself and little Trig?)

Except that Bristol's the one holding Trig. Willow's holding the bottle. The smirk is all hers. And I don't remember seeing First Dude outside of the spotlight.

FIRST DUDE WINTER SPORTS CORNER: Not a good day for sporting, dudes.

Photo by Emily from Wikipedia Commons

LEVI & BRISTOL: DUNZO? Radar reports that the forthcoming Palin and Johnston union has been scratched. All the deets, courtesy of Star magazine:

But in a new interview with Star Magazine, Levi's sister Mercede Johnston says Bristol actually broke up with Levi more than a month ago, is not attending school and rarely lets her baby daddy see their young son. Mercede also says Bristol even told him that she hates him and, when she learned she was pregnant, wished the baby wasn't his.

Mercede told Star: "Bristol's just crazy. That's the nicest way I can put it. She and Levi actually broke up a while ago!"

Apparently, Levi is also far from being a hands-on dad. Said Mercede: "Levi tries to visit Tripp every single day, but Bristol makes it nearly impossible for him. She tells him he can't take the baby to our house because she doesn't want him around 'white trash.' She treats him so badly!"

NEW WAYS TO KILL BEARS! Palin's "Board of Game" (yes!) has outlined "new guidelines in a predator control program that now allows the use of paw snares to catch and kill bears, and helicopters for access. . . . Under the new guidelines, hunters can use snares to trap black bears in a specific area and can access the area via private helicopters. As for wolves, state employees are now authorized to use poison gas to kill wolf pups, orphaned after aerial hunting, in their dens."

Orphaned wolf pups? That's not good for publicity!

COURIC HONORED FOR PWNING PALIN: She received a Cronkite award for "Special Achievement for National Impact on the 2008 Campaign," or: totally throwing down.

FIRST DUDE WINTER SPORTS CORNER: What do you do when the snowmachine races have ended? Throw some back with Joe Six Pack. What's Todd's best bet for scoring a free beer? A Wasilla joint known as the Mug Shot:

Mug Shot is the biggest pro-palin spot in the valley. People wondered why she (when she was mayor) agreed that valley bars could be open until 5:00 am. Because the owner contributed big time to her campaign. It’s weird – back in the 80’s the Mug Shot was the place to score coke. Everyone knew. But hey – campaign contributions trump everything! It’s just funny how things turn out. And Alaska is a small town (not to mention Wasilla).

OK: MORE BRISTOL AND LEVI: "The worst part, Mercede continues, is that the former vice presidential candidate supports Bristol's treatment of Levi, 19. 'I used to love Sarah,' Mercede says sadly. 'But I've lost lots of respect for her.'"

MORE LATER: "For more photos and details, including the hate-filled text message

Bristol sent Levi, the cheating rumors, the lies about Bristol's schooling, the Johnston family's plan to win back Tripp and exclusive photos of the baby boy, pick up the March 23 issue of Star, on stands now!"

Photo by bpende

* OMFG. Some dude posits: "While the mainstream media continues to ridicule the Alaskan Governor I continue to insist she has a lock on the rank and file base and far-fetched as it seems, Rush Limbaugh on a Palin ticket would be a potent political marriage of populists." He goes on to write: "I have never actually listened to his program."

* SARAH PALIN IS CALLING YOUR MOM: Last week, the Governor "voiced support for legislation (H.B. 35, S.B. 6) that would require parental consent for a minor to receive an abortion in the state." Alaska passed another parental consent act in 1997, which was subsequently overturned by the Alaska Supreme Court ten years later. In 2007, "The court said the parental consent requirement was unconstitutional because it infringed on pregnant teenagers' right to reproductive freedom." Since then, a Palin appointee has been ushered in who might tip the balance.

* AWWW. Palin used to be shy! (according to some dudes). "She wanted to be a good girl and play by the rules. She wasn’t someone who was trying to break new ground or argue about things or voice an opinion. In a way she was almost a wallflower type." Even the lady who did Sarah's hair for the Miss Alaska pageant in 1984 weighs in on this one. "I kind of worried about how she would do up there on stage. . . You have to have a certain go-get-’em to get up there and stand up for yourself, and she came across as such a shy, sweet girl."

* FIRST DUDE WINTER SPORTS CORNER: Some lady is recording for posterity, through her "Blogger" account, "Why Mommy Is a Republican." This edition shows of "Why Mommy Is a Republican" shows photos of Todd Palin on a snow machine and Sarah Palin speaking into a microphone, near snow machines. Hot people near cold machinery: This is why mommy is a Republican, today.

* DUH. Dude who wrote entire biography on Sarah Palin reportedly "impressed" with her. DOUBLE DUH: Lorenzo Benet "suggests" that "If the economy hadn't tanked, this election probably would have been a bit closer."

* HOT LEVI JOHNSTON SITE!!!1 I thought that this blog, titled "I'd Get With Levi Johnston," would be a lighthearted chronicle of how Bristol Palin made a bad move with the right dude. Instead it's just re-posts of that John McCain photo where his tongue is sticking out and he looks like he's about to grab Obama's ass, last updated in October. Bummer.

* PALIN SUPPORTERS PRE-SMEARING JINDAL? Dan Gilgoff on US News, says it's so: Some pro-Palin commenters, who never ever come off as extremists, are already begining to run the old the-other-guy-is-Muslim play on Catholic volcano denier and possible 2012 rival Gov. Bobby Jindal:

I'm surprised that a few comments on my post about Bobby Jindal as the new face of Christian conservatism allege that he's got ancestral Muslim roots, in addition to the acknowledged Hinduism of his Indian born parents. Remind you of any other recent rumor campaigns against promising young minority politicians?

What's surprising is that some of the comments appear to be from pro-Sarah Palin conservatives. They're a likely preview of what a Jindal primary faceoff with Palin or another Christian conservative might look like, with both vying for conservative Christian support.

Photo by Eddie~S

Welcome back to “Daily Palin,” in which we detail Sarah Palin’s refusal to go away—every day. The morning news from backstage at the Alaskan-funded "Curves" ribbon-cutting ceremony, below:

FIRST DUDE WINTER SPORTS CORNER: Above: Todd Palin's yearbook photo from Wasilla High. A-woo-ga! HOWEVER: does that mean Sarah was lying when she told reporters, "Todd grew up in Dillingham... after high school he realised that he had to leave that village... capitalised on an opportunity upon the North Slope... using the skills he learned growing up in rural Alaska...Todd left the village, he has been working upon the slope... it was a win win situation for him... he would come back to the village... blah blah..." ? (rough transcription courtesy of Palingates).

SOME DUDE: Asks if Levi Johnson can be arrested for statutory rape for doin' Bristol when she was 17 and he was 18. NOPE: The age of consent in Alaska is 16, says some other dude.

CAUGHT READING BOOK: Palin Confusion spots this photo of Sarah holding a book (!!) A quick zoom reveals the tome to be The Dangerous Days of Daniel by James Patterson and Michael Ledwidge. A quick trip to the local library reveals The Dangerous Days of Daniel to be "a Young Adult book, looks like Sci-fi adventure." Nice work team!

PALIN PAYING: Sarah will cough up $6,800 to cover nine family trips she had originally billed to Alaska.

WHERE DID SARAH GO? Let's count 'em!

NINE. "The state paid about $13 for Palin's daughter Bristol to go to opening night of 'Beauty and the Beast' at the Valley Performing Arts Center, according Palin's lawyer, Thomas Van Flein. A travel form filed by Palin says the governor was scheduled to attend the show too, as a narrator."

EIGHT. "Willow Palin flew round-trip [to] an Alaska Moose Federation banquet with the governor."

SEVEN. "Palin's three daughters joined the governor in the Southeast town of Skagway for a potluck dinner."

SIX. "Willow and Piper flew with the governor round-trip to Cordova on a state-owned King Air propeller plane for the taping of a documentary on shorebirds."

FIVE.  "Bristol traveled with Palin to New York for Newsweek's Third Annual Women and Leadership Conference. Her airfare cost $1,385, plus $38 for a meal. Travel forms say she stayed at the $707-a-night Jumeirah Essex House with the governor."

FOUR. "Willow and Piper flew to Juneau for the governor's state of the state speech on the state's King Air." [Come on, give 'em this one! -ed]

THREE. "The state paid $540 for Piper to fly round-trip from Juneau to Anchorage . . . She went to the start of the Tesoro Iron Dog race, where Todd Palin was a competitor."

TWO. "Piper flew commercially from Juneau to Anchorage at a cost of $276 for a Curves ribbon-cutting ceremony and a bill signing."

ONE. "Bristol and Piper fly with the governor to the National Governors Association meeting in Philadelphia, at a cost of $1,449."

RECORD-STOP: "Piper flew commercially from Juneau to Anchorage at a cost of $276 for a Curves ribbon-cutting ceremony and a bill signing."

Introducing “Daily Palin,” in which we detail Sarah Palin’s refusal to go away—every day. The morning news from behind Palin's fake, nonprescription lenses:

DEFENDING SARAH: DraftPalin2012 has crafted this handy guide to fielding Palin criticisms from friends, lovers, feminists, etc:

STEP ONE: BLAME THE BLOGS. "In answering criticisms about Sarah we need to be very brief and direct. When something is a lie, such as 'Bristol is really Trig's mother,' we need to say: 'That is a lie spread by the Obama Campaign through its loyal servants at The Daily Kos.' Period."

STEP TWO: KNOW YOUR HISTORY. "When a feminist says, 'Sarah wears clear glasses to make her look intellectual,' we should say: 'Sarah has been near-sighted since childhood, like her daughter Piper, and she's worn glasses since she was 10.' Period."

STEP THREE: DENY. "When someone says, 'Well, Sarah implied they sold [former Alaska Governor] Murkowski's jet on E-Bay,' we reply: 'She never said it. She never implied it. They tried to sell it on E-Bay and, when they didn't get the offers they wanted, they sold it through a broker. It was sold—period—and Sarah never used it.'"

PERIOD.

ON THE RECORD: Palin appeared on Greta Van Sustren's show last night, revealing many things! In other news, I do not have a television.

BUY LIKE PALIN: Sarah Palin's favorite store, an Anchorage thrift store called ''Out of the Closet,'' has changed its name after complaints from the AIDS Healthcare Foundation, which owns the name (and its own chain of charity shops). According to the L.A. Times, "The shop's new name is 'Second Run.' With a name like that, it can still be Sarah Palin's favorite store. She can buy her 2012 campaign wardrobe there. With her own money."

LEVI AND BRISTOL: SEPARATED BEFORE MARRIAGE? Trailblazer author Lorenzo Benet has the deets: "Bristol lived in Anchorage with her aunt and uncle while she was pregnant. She worked at two espresso shops and remained a full time student at West High School. Levi was 40 miles away in Wasilla, but he would still drive to Anchorage to take Bristol out."

FIRST DUDE WINTER SPORTS CORNER: One lucky Alaskan snapped a photo with 1D after his Iron Dog dismount. "Todd Palin after 2000 miles on a snow machine (that's a snow mobile for all of us in the Outside) without a shower is still one hot dude! Don't you agree?" she writes. I don't not agree!

QUICK PALIN QUOTE FROM SOMEONE WHOSE OPINION DOESN'T MATTER: Janeane Garofalo on Palin: "An asshole is an asshole regardless of gender."

ADD IT TO THE BLOGROLL: There's a Blogspot dedicated to "Praying for the Palin Family." Sample prayer:

Good morning Father,

Today is the first day of February and I pray that as we move about our business of worshiping you, we will remember to pray for others. Lord, I pray that this month you will work in our hearts. I ask that you soften them so we will be more loving and compassionate towards all people. Lord, help us to love those who hate us.

Lord, I know that many would love to see Sarah and her family fail but Lord I pray that you will protect her an keep her shielded from harm. Lord, give her the strength to love those who desire her harm and ill will. Lord, keep her heart and ours soft and ready to love at all times.

Lord, keep us tender in the name of Jesus

Amen.

Photo by fimoculous

EAT IT, JUDD: Somebody wrote Sarah Palin a letter the other day confirming that aerial wolf-hunting was a "scientifically valid and sound method of predator management." GRRROWL! The sender was "a group of pro-hunting organizations."

RUMORS: Has Levi Johnston knocked up another woman? And is he going for some sort of record?

LINCOLN, DARWIN, AND ... "Sarah Palin’s birthday was February 10 and Charles Darwin and Abe Lincoln on February 12. If the heavens tell us that people born in the same month have similar ways, are these folks compatible?" asks starperson Carol Forsloff. Well: "Palin believes intelligent design and evolution should both be taught and considers Darwin’s conclusions to be theory. Her critics say she doesn’t support scientist’s findings about endangered species either. So there’s no compatibility in the discipline that requires a specific type of personality and thought, which is science." THAT'S GOTTA HURT coming from someone who deals with dingbat celebrity astrology.

APPARENTLY Palin's also the "daughter of a science teacher."

I WOULD HAVE TITLED IT, PALIN AROUND WITH TERRORISTS. Following Sarah Palin's claim that Obama was "pallin' around with terrorists," one of said terrorists, Bill Ayers, wrote Palin a note suggesting the pair team up for "a talk show called Pallin’ Around With Sarah and Bill." He hasn't heard back.

DISABLED PERSON JOKES: Homebrewed Christianity rewrites the text on the SarahPAC homepage . . . to make funnies!

FIRST DUDE WINTER SPORT CORNER: A Mommylife mom met Sarah Palin at the "Iron Dog snowmachine race." Ha ha, snowmachine. Anyway: "After we met, she had a chance to speak to the crowd and racers directly. I especially loved the part where she asked for God's protection over them as they race to Nome then Fairbanks. I love a politician who is not afraid to let everyone know what she believes." Meanwhile,

FIRST DUDE STILL LOSING. Currently, he's fifth.

* Photos of Bristol Palin and Levi Johnston's son, Tripp, have netted the underage couple $300,000 from People magazine. Is that enough to get the fuck out of Wasilla and never look back? Or just enough to fund a forced white wedding?

* Dude blogger Roissy in D.C. knows how to identify a slut! She is sarcastic, wears no underwear, and has "that crazy, hyper, coked-up look in her eyes." Roissy knows this because he has had sex with many, many sluts, which raises the question—does Roissy wear underwear?

* Zack at The New Gay writes on the type of gay men straight men are comfortable befriending:

Recently, a straight guy told my boyfriend how much he loved him for not letting his gayness define him as a person. In short, he was really excited that my boyfriend was gay, but not "gay like that."

* Note to cops: Don't threaten feminist bloggers; they'll put it on YouTube and make fun of you for only having one friend on MySpace (Tom).

* Tiger Beatdown calls out the New York Times Book Review for its glowing Phyllis McGinley review:

Ginia Bellafante, apparently not into this whole "history and also actual well-documented fact" thing, seems to recall the 1950s differently: as a blissful Eden, from which women were expelled when they ate from the Tree of Wanting an Actual Freaking Choice.

Photo via trialsanderrors.