Posts Tagged ‘Levi Johnston’
Sexist Beatdown: Palin Family Anecdote or “Paylin” Porn Plot? Edition
Listen up, teens: Guess what happens when you get teen pregnant, you’re not allowed to have a smushmortion, and you can’t figure out how to secretly swap your fetus into your mother’s aging but willing womb. Umm . . . you get rewarded with an eccentric celebrity handler and sexy undies shots in Vanity Fair? Oh ho no, honey, that’s what’s happens to the dude. What happens to you is you get to hold the dang thing throughout a couple of tortured appearances on a crazy middle-aged lady’s FOX News program, and then everyone makes fun of you for being a hypocrite because GOD, YOU WISH YOU HAD NEVER EVEN HAD SEX. And then you have to raise it.
Did I mention your babby’s daddy got to do Tyra?
In this edition of Sexist Beatdown: Why Sady of Tiger Beatdown and I think that’s kind of fucked up, actually? BONUS: what to expect next in the SARAH PALYN SNOMOBLOWJOB TODD PALYN BAREBACK LEVI JOHNSON porn saga of the Palin family story, after the jump.
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Levi Johnston Hits Tyra, Victimizes Self
And we’ve got the whole, non-white-trashy thing on tape:
Sarah Seltzer for Reproductive Health Reality Check wonders if Levi is a “victim” in the Palin spotlight. “The Internet is buzzing over Levi Johnston’s appearance on Tyra yesterday to ‘break his silence,’ and providing us all with a reminder that patriarchal policies like abstinence-only education hurt young men, too,” writes Seltzer.
I couldn’t agree more: We’re all victims here: Levi, Bristol, Tripp, and Palin herself all suffered at the hands of her ridiculous abstinence (with a teenage pregnancy backup) method. Everyone, that is, except Tyra, who pulls a fierce Katie Couric to get the daytime interview of the post-pregnancy season.
Daily Pain: 24th Most Beautiful Lady Politician Edition
Stare into those 24th-most-beautiful eyes
NUMBER 24: The Daily Mail reports on a poll ranking the world’s most beautiful lady politicians. The poll was conducted by Spain’s ” 20 Minutos” newspaper, so, whatever. Peruvian congresswoman Luciana Leon is the most beautiful. Of the 54 women on the list, Palin currently ranks 24th, with 3,173 votes. At 61, Hillary Clinton is the oldest lady politician to make the list, coming in at 34th place with 2485 votes.
On the one hand, ranking the attractiveness of female politicians is extremely sexist. On the other, readers of “20 Minutos” are collectively aware of 54 female politicians internationally! That’s progress!
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Daily Palin: O’Reilly / Greta / Bristol 2012
Sweet bootlegged Bill O’Reilly camera action!
O’REILLY & GRETA & BRISTOL, OH MY! O’Reilly weighs in on the Bristol Palin / Levi Johnston fallout: MSNBC “incredibly viscious”; “disturbed individuals egged on by . . . the Air America on the radio.”
BONUS: Greta downplays O’Reilly’s characterization that she is “close to the Palin family,” sayinh, “The only way that I’ve met them is by interviewing them. I don’t socialize with them or spend a lot of time with them.”
Greta goes on to chastize journalists who are “gushing with glee” to her at the news; O’Reilly says, “nobody would do that to me.”
Daily Palin: Special Olympics Outrage Edition
Palin “shocked” at Obama Special Olympics bowling comment, returns money he had allocated for Alaskan special education.
PALIN RESPONDS to Barry Obama’s quip that he bowls like he belongs in the Special Olympics.
“This was a degrading remark about our world’s most precious and unique people, coming from the most powerful position in the world,” said Palin, whose son Trig has Down syndrome. “These athletes overcome more challenges, discrimination and adversity than most of us ever will.”
Kolan McConiughey, a 35-year-old Special Olympics bowler “who has bowled five perfect games since 2005,” was more forgiving: “He’s a cool guy. He’s an awesome President and he has a very nice wife.”
Daily Palin: The Russian Sarah Palin Edition
CAN SARAH PALIN SEE THIS WOMAN FROM HER HOUSE? Some are hailing this leggy blond Livejournal blogger as the future “Russian Sarah Palin” (or at the very least, the Russian Ann Coulter). She’s 24, hates immigrants, and has been photographed “drunk, wrapped in a Cuban flag” (right). An excerpt from her blog:
“Думаю, заметку про меня в Дейли Мейл нужно как-нибудь откомментить. Поскольку журналисты иногда стесняются спрашивать и предпочитают додумывать:)”
Incendiary!
Her name is Maria Sergeyeva. Know it.
Daily Palin: Levi Johnston Maturity Watch Edition
Are you mature enough for this?
FINALLY, SOMEBODY MAKES SENSE: Levi Johnston, 19-year-old ex-fiancee of Bristol Palin, told Good Morning America that he’s not yet mature enough to get married. “It’s just us not—me not—being mature enough,” he said. “We were in a fight. And trying to see if we can make things work. But this is what it kind of ended up turning into. But we’ll see what happens.”
Johnston said he and Bristol broke up “about two months” after the birth of their son, Tripp. The two are open to reconciliation—when they’re more mature.
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Daily Palin: From Fiancé to Babydaddy Edition
What is with Vice Presidential candidates causing stirs over unwed mamas?
FINALLY: FIANCEE TURNS BABYDADDY, says Sharon Cobb, who thinks the whole blessed holy matrimony schtick Palin paraded the kids around for was just some racist bullshit to begin with:
Why is it that when a white teenage woman gets pregnant out of wedlock it’s a ‘blessed event’ and the father is the ‘fiancé,’ but a person of color is someone we think of as someone on welfare and the man is just the baby daddy? . . . Racism. Alive and sick in America. That’s the difference, and had the Obamas had an 18 year old daughter who was pregnant during the election, you know damn well the stereotypes would have run rampant.
Cobb ends her smack-down by sending Bristol some well-wishes: “Hopefully, her baby daddy former flame will participate as a father.”
Daily Palin: The Ballad of Bristol & Levi
Somehow, I think they’ll do all right without him.
LEVI ON THE BREAK-UP: Nineteen-year-old Levi Johnston is single, ladies! His coming out party was held in front of his Wasilla home and was attended by a horde of bloodthirsty reporters. He told the AP that the decision to end things with 18-year-old Bristol was mutual and decided “a while ago.” According to the AP, “He also said some details of the breakup, rumors of which had been swirling on the Internet, were inaccurate.”
Daily Palin: Bristol & Levi Break It Off! Edition
Did McCain get in the way?
LEVI & BRISTOL: DUNZO? Radar reports that the forthcoming Palin and Johnston union has been scratched. All the deets, courtesy of Star magazine:
But in a new interview with Star Magazine, Levi’s sister Mercede Johnston says Bristol actually broke up with Levi more than a month ago, is not attending school and rarely lets her baby daddy see their young son. Mercede also says Bristol even told him that she hates him and, when she learned she was pregnant, wished the baby wasn’t his.
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