Last week on the Sexist:

1. Gay T-Shirts In Windows A Problem for American Apparel, in which “Legalize Gay” receives a couple stern phone calls.

2. American Apparel Windows Will Stay Gay, in which Dov doesn’t back down.

3. Library Conference Secret Twitter Proves Librarians Sexy, Stern, in which we Slutty Halloween comes early this year.

4. Can’t Feminists and Misandrists Just Get Along? in which we are introduced to the world of the “cuntoon.”

5. Nice Harass! A Sexist History of D.C., in which male (models) are in the minority.

Photo by riptheskull

Behold, the most click-able selections of the past week’s Sexist:

1. Library Conference Twitter Proves Librarians Sexy, Stern, in which the “sexy librarian” fetish fares best in an anonymous, disembodied Twitter feed.

2. Sexy Secrets from Librarians: The Lost Tweets, in which there’s more of the same.

3. Why Young Readers Don’t Like Romance Novel Rapists, in which rapey entries in the genre ain’t “timeless,” and that’s a good thing!

4. This Week in Sexist History: Too Fat! Too Thin! Edition, in which the New York Times really, truly published this The Dangers Of Fashion To The Institution of Marriage story.

5. The Dog Ate My Domestic Violence Shelter, in which my neighbors come up with increasingly absurd excuses for opposing shelters for women.

Photo by tipoyock

The Sexist will be out for the holiday weekend tomorrow, so I leave you with last week’s greatest hits. What better way to celebrate America’s birthday than reading a bunch of random shit about sex on the Internet?

1. This Week in Sexist History: Girls, Girls, Girls Edition, an indulgence in olde-tyme sports writing. I say it’s sexist! Commenter says it isn’t! Steve Silver says it’s “interesting how it has to be explained to some readers 100 years later that an article published 100 years ago describing women purely as objects for men’s pleasure is sexist.”

2. Teen Sex Scandal!, in which I put the feminist linkbait-and-switch theory to work.

3. Big Penis Site Reveals Inches Before First Date, in which 7orbetter.com has more longevity than I gave it credit for.

4. Disney’s Closeted Gay Agenda, in which High School Musical debunks all theories about Disney promoting heterosexuality.

5. Sex Tips From Drunk People, in which I pledge to do more research in this area over the holiday, and I encourage you to do the same! E-mail your drunk sex insights to ahess@washingtoncitypaper.com.

Photo by Misserion

Last week on the Sexist:

1. Meghan McCain Schooled, Spanked, Murdered: Political Debate or Snuff Porn?, because Paul Begala BDSM is not what I’d prefer to conjure up with my morning news.

2. 5C Commissioner Gigi Ransom Censured Over “Potential Hate Crime”, because local politics can get a little too personal.

3. The Ten Creepiest Paul Rudd Stalking Tweets! because swoon.

4. Bacardi’s Massive Internet Fail, because “Get An Ugly Girlfriend” was such a compelling Israeli ad campaign, it made waves over here in the states!

5. Big Penis Dating Site Reveals Inches Before First Date, because you don’t want to walk into that shit without knowing the relevant details, amirightladies.

Photo by flirtykitty

1. Huffington Post: Liberal Politics, Sexist Entertainment, because writing the obvious is almost as clickable as boobs!

2. Blogger Writes on Rape. Commenters Threaten Death, because Sady liked it.

3. Liveblogging the David Carradine Sex Death Press Coverage, because there is live-blogging after death.

4. Teen Sex Scandal!, because TEEN SEX SCANDAL!

5. Top 10 Rap Sex Euphemisms, because these rappers are doin’ it and doin’ it and doin’ it well, without actually talking about “doin’ it.”

Photo by stichindye

Mmmmmmmmmmmm, tacos.

A Hierarchy of Date-Rape Jams, a charticle that is totally invalidated if you hate Rod Stewart.

(How to Enginer A) Teen Sex Scandal!, for those of you clinging to your old media jobs

Who Can Make a Rape Joke?, but seriously folks.

My Body is Not Defined By Pregnancy, rather: tacos.

The Five Most Inappropriate Cock-Bib Phrases, and oooooh I cannot wait to get my very own CockBib in the mail!

Photo by pheezy

Last week in the Sexist, Catholics had sex, women raped boys, vaginas smelled, Keith Olbermann was a douche, and the Washington Post inspired a fun new game.

1. Screw U.: Inside the Secret Sex Life of Catholic University, where former God squadders go to comment.

2. It’s Not Rape If the Sex Offender is Hot, and your teacher, and a woman.

3. Vintage Lysol Douching Advertisement Corner, because sometimes turn-of-the-century hygiene is the only thing that can save your marriage.

4. Pro-Gay Beauty Pageant Still a Fucking Beauty Pageant . . . still.

5. Washington Post Launches its “Sports Page for Women”, in which we play a game!

Photo by Racchio

Last week on the Sexist:

1. Screw U.: Inside the Secret Sex Life of Catholic University, in which people get very angry when you acknowledge that people have sex (above).

2. Inside Big Penis Dating Site “Seven or Better” in which people are perhaps too explicit about how they like to do it.

3. An Open Letter to CVS Sensitive Lady Products Salespeople, in which products related to the female body are kept under lock, key, and condescension.

4. Breast Practices: Insider Tips from D.C.’s Greatest Erotic Photo Hunter, in which, boobs.

5. Pro-Gay Beauty Pageant Still a Fucking Beauty Pageant, in which I am forced to defend America’s new homophobic darling.

Illustration by Doug Boehm.