The Washington Improv Theater’s most recent newsletter—entitled “Barebreasted Women Swordfighting and Kids Programming at Source”—offers up some great naked swordplay this week, for the kids. Somebody isn’t thinking of The Children:

I’m pretty sure these two items are simply unfortunately juxtaposed, and entirely unrelated. Meanwhile, “Barebreasted Women Swordfighting and Kids” is still available for someone’s  inevitable childhood trauma memoir.

Slate’s DoubleX has taken up an interesting point of discussion. Which of the following is more cruel:

(a) A father who films his hilariously drugged-up child after a doctor’s visit:

“David After Dentist”

(b) Or a hipster music video depicting a screaming child dodging scary monsters without the help of his unresponsive mother:

MGMT’s music video for “Kids”

Personally, I’d say that forcing your own child to go to the dentist—ughhhhhh—and then filming him totally cracked out on dentist drugs—Daaaaaad!!!—and posting the results to Youtube—YOU ARE SO EMBARRASSING DAD I HATE YOU—is slightly more cruel than subjecting a child actor to a hipster-video-of-horrors. Because, as David’s Dad failes to assure his child in the video, “David After Dentist” is, in fact, real life. Meanwhile, MGMT insists that no children were harmed in the video’s making.

But at least “David After Dentist” was funny! Less funny is when you actually start marketing t-shirts with your child’s image on them referencing the time you forced him to go to the dentist, filmed him totally cracked out on dentist drugs, then posted the results to Youtube. That’s not just child cruelty, Dad. That’s tacky child cruelty! Perhaps it is Capitalism which is the true monster.

* The Sexist’s Manliest Workplace in D.C. tournament is live. Fill out a bracket to predict your manly winners and losers.

* Advanced Style, a street-style blog for the older set. Adorable, inspirational, and regularly updated, this elderly fashion watch is curated by three respectful whippersnappers.

* Jezebel asks if being a successful woman means staying single:

maybe if a woman’s got guts and determination, she “intimidates” men. So she either doesn’t get attached to a guy, or finds one who is content to live in her shadow. Oprah doesn’t have a husband, per se, but when’s the last time we heard anything about that Stedman guy? Anna Wintour? Divorced. Condoleezza Rice? Not married. Tyra? Single and looking to mingle. Angela Merkel? Wikipedia says, “Her second husband is quantum chemist and professor Joachim Sauer. He remains out of the spotlight” . . . While many men have careers in which they shine and the wife is content to stay in the background, it seems that women who live an ambitious life in the limelight rarely have a “quiet” husband at home.

Jezebel’s expounding, of course, on Madonna’s just-announced divorce from filmmaker Guy Ritchie. I wouldn’t assume that the end of this seven-and-a-half year marriage is a result of Ritchie not being able to “handle” Madonna—you probably know what you’re getting into with Madonna. Similarly, I would suggest that Tyra Banks‘ relationship status might not be wholly attributed to her “success.” A lot of marriages fail, successful, famous, or not. Still, I fully intend to co-opt the Stars: They’re just like us! treatment here and assert that by virtue of being a single woman, I am successful. It’s that easy!

* In the wake of Joe Wurzelbacher-gate, Radar imagines the inevitable “Joe Plumber” porn spoof:

Layin’ Pipe will feature five hard-core scenes, including a threeway with other pander-worthy icons, namely Mother of Iraqi Solider Against the War and Teacher In Tennessee Who Can’t Afford Her Parents’ Nursing Home. Bob Schieffer will also be spoofed as the announcer who dishes the sex action that will take place during the film.

Yeah, well, as long as he isn’t portrayed by the lame, pathetically in-shape dude who hangs around the smoothie/tanning salon, I may be interested.

* Plus, what else might “Joe the Plumber” be hiding from the American People? Josh Levin for Slate has your non-pornographic predictions.

* Okay, one reason to have kids:

Photo from Advanced Style.