DUR: GOP needs to get smart, says The Young Turks.  “Obama won because he’s smart. . . . I enjoy having a beer with my brother in-law, but I wouldn’t want him running the country. He’s an idiot! Sure, people like a candidate they can relate to, but when it comes down to the crunch, Americans want smart leaders, not drinking buddies.” Joe Six Pack, we hardly knew ye.

Read More “Daily Palin: Stripper Boots Edition” »

WARNING: Video completely inane

That Sarah Palin adult film that was searching for its star earlier this month has confirmed its nominee: Palin will be portrayed by Lisa Anne, a brunette porn actress who “has glasses.” The film has already entered production, TMZ says. The paparazzi site describes the plot as “two drunk Russians are driving their tank when it runs out of gas in front of Paylin’s home. You can take it from there.”

A video on TMZ’s Web site shows Lisa Anne rehearsing with the two “Russians,” offering them drinks and offering up your standard porn double entendres. Also in the script is this favorite line of Lisa Anne’s: “Joe Six Pack? Joe Lincoln? Your average hockey mom? That’s what America’s all about, coming together and saying, ‘Gosh darnit. Slavery might be fine for some, but you know what, it’s just not fine where I’m from.’”

What the fuck?

TMZ has the full script, which refers to a “Serra Paylin.” Really, you ought to just click over to TMZ for everything you didn’t want to know about the Sarah Palin porn.

Update: Huffington Post reports that the role of Hillary Clinton in the film (sigh) will be filled by Nina Hartley, 49.

Presidential candidates—remember them? Now that the dust has settled on the Palin/Biden debate, they’re back to bore you again with their conservative man-suits and less-sassy cries of “maverick.” In order to mix it up a bit for the viewer, tonight’s debate, held at Nashville’s Belmont University, will be in a “Town Hall” Q & A format. Tom Brokaw will moderate questions from citizens chosen by the Gallup organization. One Nashville resident, writing on Daily Kos, cries foul on the whole “town hall” idea: “This just takes place in our town,” he writes, “making it is as much a part of our town as Guantanamo Bay is of Cuba.”

Hmm. I’m betting your question wouldn’t have been at the top of their list anyway, friend.

Citizens of America Town who chose to play along with the convention have already filed their burning questions through MySpace.com, but even those who missed the submission deadline can stay relevant by drinking the talking points away. In the grand tradition of The Sexist’s Vice Presidential Debate Drinking Game, here’s your guide to taking the edge off at Town Hall.

Enough about the Maverick and the Dreamer—this drinking game is about Joe Six-Pack. Viewers, please turn your attention to the folks asking the questions. Feel free to rely on sweeping assumptions based on appearance and/or accent.

DRINK IF THE CURIOUS AMERICAN CITIZEN APPEARS TO BE:

- Angry
- “Concerned”
- Dumb
- Hipster
. . . visibly disheveled [x2]
- Hot
- Mom
. . . with a child in the military [x2]
- Mulletted
- Nervous
- Older than John McCain
. . . hard of hearing [x 2]
. . . + unable to correctly use a microphone [finish your beer]
- Ponytailed
. . . dude [x 2]
- Self-righteous
- Southern
- Star-struck
. . . crush on Obama [x 2]
- Younger than Sarah Palin
. . . younger than you [x your age]
- Unemployed
- Union worker
- Veteran
- Wealthy

FINISH YOUR BEER IF YOUR FELLOW AMERICAN APPEARS TO BE:

- Someone you know
- Pregnant
- Insane

For those who’d prefer to read with their television: Starting at 9 p.m., I’ll be live-blogging the debate over on CityDesk, a City Paper blog so frighteningly close to The Sexist I can almost see it from my own backyard.

Photo—The War of Wealth by C.T. [Charles Turner] Dazey—courtesy of trialsanderrors.