Thanks to Representative Jack Kingston of Georgia, a rider just added to D.C.’s District’s 2010 federal appropriation bill will effectively trash all clean needle exchange programs in this city. According to the Examiner:

an amendment recently offered by Republican Rep. Jack Kingston of Georgia, and accepted by the Democrat-led Appropriations Committee, bars the District from distributing clean needles or syringes to drug addicts within 1,000 feet “of a public or private day care center, elementary school, vocational school, secondary school, college, junior college, or university, or any public swimming pool, park, playground, video arcade, or youth center, or an event sponsored by any such entity.”

Can anyone think of a space in D.C. that’s not within 1,000 feet of any of these things?

I’m glad to see that Congress doesn’t want to completely eliminate needle exchanges in the city with the highest HIV rate in the country—it just wants to push clean needles to the one obscure spot in D.C. that’s football fields away from any public or private . . . anything. The Examiner reports that The House Rules Committee has already “nixed nine proposed D.C.-related amendments offered by Republican members involving guns, gay marriage, abortion and marijuana.” Clean needles didn’t make the cuts cut.

Local needle-exchange provider Dr. Phil Terry notes that Kingston’s fear of needles may, ironically, bring the clean needles closer to his workplace: “There’s virtually no area in D.C. that would meet those restrictions, except maybe Capitol Hill,” Terry said.

DCist says it all: “Considering the HIV/AIDS epidemic in the District of Columbia, we think it’s fair to label this latest maneuver in the House as absolutely despicable.”

Photo by Todd Huffman

Minority Whip Eric Cantor appeared on This Week with George Stephanopoulos to talk about how fucked the Republican party is. GLBT blog Towleroad summed up Cantor’s remedy with this headline: “Rep. Eric Cantor: GOP Needs to Be Inclusive on Gay Rights.” Is Eric Cantor really pushing for the G.O.P. to incorporate gay rights into its new party platform? Not exactly:

Here’s what Stephanopoulos asked Cantor: “But Governor [Jon] Huntsman says that you’re not going to be reaching out to broaden the base of the party, reaching out to young people who have left the Republican party in droves unless you do have that positive agenda on the environment, unless you move to the middle on issues like gay rights. Are you prepared to do that in the House?”

Here’s how Towleroad phrased it: “Are you prepared to [move to the middle on positions like gay rights] in the House?

And here’s how Cantor replied:

There is no question the Republican Party has to return to be one of inclusion, not exclusion. And we are a party with many ideas. And we have in that a commitment to make sure that we have positive alternatives, if we don’t agree with this administration, or the House Democrats, and to continue to put those ideas forward and again the problems facing this country . . . are not just Republican or Democrat problems. They are so big. They are so challenging . . . Let’s come up with solutions that actually produce results for a change, instead of making matters worse, which Washington is famous for.

So: In response to Stephanopoulos’ vague question about the environment, and gays, and such, Eric Cantor has said on the record that the Republican party is one of “ideas,” “inclusion,” and “change.”

Meaning: Eric Cantor has not said anything.

The Manliest Workplace in D.C. Competition continues today in a match-up sure to be less painful than most acts of Congress! (See the full 64-workplace bracket here). Today, the Federal Government bracket heats up as our bicameral legislature goes mano-a-mano to determine final man dominance (until the new, possibly gender-compromised Congress is sworn in). For now, we live in 110th Congress man-bliss as the House takes on the Senate:

HOUSE OF REPRESENTATIVES: Congressional leaders are listed first, followed by the longest-serving members of the House, in order to give credit to those public servants who have lent the most years of manliness to our great man nation. Lets get to governin’!

Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi (Female, ZERO)
Majority Leader Steny Hoyer (Male, 9 points)
Minority Leader John Boehner (Male, 8 points)
Majority Whip James E. Clyburn (Male, 7 points)
Minority Whip Roy Blunt (Male, 6 points)
Representative John Dingell (’55, Male, 5 points)
Representative John Conyers (‘65, Male, 4 points)
Representative Dave Obey (‘69, Male, 3 points)
Representative Charles B. Rangel (‘71, Male, 2 points)
Representative Bill Young (‘71, Male, 1 point)

With a manly index of 45 out of 55, Nancy Pelosi really ruined it for everyone. Thanks Nancy.

—

SENATE: Same shit, different chamber:

President Pro Tempore Robert Byrd (Male, 10 points)
Majority Leader Harry Reid (Male, 9 points)
Minorty Leader Mitch McConnell (Male, 8 points)
Majority Whip Dick Durbin (Male, 7 points)
Minority Whip Jon Kyl (Male, 6 points)
Senator Ted Kennedy (’62, Male, 5 points)
Senator Daniel Inouye (‘63, Male, 4 points)
Senator Ted Stevens (’68, Male, 3 points)
Senator Pete Domenici (‘73, Male, 2 points)
Senator Joe Biden (‘73, Male, 1 point)

DING DING DING! And it’s Biden at the buzzer! Unleash the confetti! Cue “Macho Man”! Book Randy Savage for the post-game run-down! The Senate has registered our very first 100% on the manly scale, positively governing the sexually confused House of Representatives! Will any institution dare challenge it? Stay tuned!

Photo by Ken Lund.