Check out this baby: the Barack Obama shaped dildo you never knew you didn’t want! This “Official Obama Pleasure Toy,” dubbed the “Head O State,” stands 7.5 inches tall, measures two inches in diameter, weighs 14 ounces, and a bunch of other specifications I do not wish to know how the manufacturers decided upon. I didn’t think that anyone could make Obama so unsexy, but it turns out anything is possible.

“It is outrageous to think that men can buy this, programme it and give it to their partners and then monitor them,” Berlin feminist leader Claudia Burghart said about the unfortunately designed lingerie. “It is nothing more than a chastity belt for insecure men.”

Also offensive to women are the disgusting maroon rose print, the trashy sheer bodice, the inexplicable white strings emanating from the vaginal area, and what appears to be a set of satin wings attached to the woman’s arms by elastic straps.

Brazilian designer Lucia Lorio defended her lingerie, describing it as a product for the “modern, techno-savvy woman” who has no taste. Lorio added that the collection “is a wink to women and a challenge to men because, even if she gives him the password to her GPS, she can always turn it off.” Women should note that they may also take off the lingerie, and never, ever put it on again.