While placing a simple rape joke in a pop song won't derail your music career, it could haunt you for decades and prevent you from becoming president, or anything else great ever. Below, five rape jokes that politicians wish they had never said—or, more likely, wish nobody ever heard.

The rest of the National Zoo's gorilla population is not amused.
The Washington Post reports today that the baby gorilla born in the National Zoo on Jan. 10 is a baby girl. A zoo spokesperson said it took zookeepers a full three weeks to determine the sex of the gorilla; post-birth, the "hairy arm" [...]