The fight for ideological dominance of D.C.’s college sex column “movement” rages on. Are our local campus columnists on the forefront of radical sex writing, or are they bringing back the good old days of valiant male chivalry—only drunker? This week: G.W. student fucks Marine; UMD students are bitches, dicks, or pussies; American University issues a Very Special sex column. It must be sweeps week:

GEORGE WASHINGTON UNIVERSITY:

Sex Tips: In Layla’s latest heterosexual female romp, G.W.’s resident sex columnist extols upon the virtues of fucking servicemen. She also floats a revised idea of traditional courtship: Men are still confined to the rules of chivalry, but everyone gets drunk and you can do it whenever you feel like it. “Leaning against the bar, I spotted Prince Charming, an incredibly sexy combination of chivalry and a hint of danger, walking down the stairs,” she writes of a random Marine she spots while sitting alone, “double fisting” drinks at the bar. “Having stubbornly worn my three-inch heels, I literally stumbled into his arms and swooned at how valiantly and easily he caught me. In my opinion, there is nothing sexier than a man with an accent, especially if its southern and he happens to call me ma’am.” They decide to get it on. “Prince Charming grinned and pulled out an umbrella, proving that even in the face of a certain hookup, chivalry is not dead.”

Life Lesson: Layla insists there is “something scandalously orgasmic about making out with a marine in the middle of a bar to bad 80s music,” proving that people are into some freaky shit. Side-note: Layla may needs to take some life lessons from the Buster Darkhole school of sex column euphemisms. Her target is called “Prince Charming.” Her friend? “GI Jane.”

Progressive Meter: I count six references to “Prince Charming,” two to “chivalry,” and one each to “swooned” and “valiantly.” Layla’s column describes a thoroughly modern tale—they meet at a bar and hook up—but the vocabulary is stuck in another century. Three.

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THE UNIVERSITY OF MARYLAND:

Sex Tips: This time around in UMD senior Esti Frischling’s regular advice column, she tackles the problem of a third-wheel friend who knows that one of the coupled-up friends is cheating on the other. Frischling’s advice—don’t snitch, but encourage them to break up, and if they don’t, go ahead and fuck the one who’s getting screwed over—isn’t as memorable as the way she tells it:

- “You better not rat either way (bitch).”
- “I mean, he can’t possibly see her as marriage material if he’s having all this premarital sex with all the sluts, right?”
- “approach the guy and say something along the lines of (and feel free to quote me directly) ‘Dude stop being such a dick — your girl is hot, lay off the adulterous pussy.’”
- “I say—and this is my final answer by the way—blow up his spot and f— his girl. Yeah.”

Life Lesson: Apparently, bitches, sluts, dicks, and pussies are A-OK in the Diamondback. But in the end, all we get is a “f—.”

Progressive Meter: While it’s difficult to discern a political bent in decisions over snitching, I do find the emphasis on “marriage material,” “premarital sex,” and “sluts” a bit off-putting here. You’re in college. Stop rating the validity of your relationships on whether or not you’re planning to get hitched to the person you’re currently doing. On the other hand, the advice that the advice-seeker “f— his girl”  seems to be applied with no concern as to whether the advice-seeker is male or female. Cool. Five.

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AMERICAN UNIVERSITY:

Sex Tips: This go-around, AU’s trio of porn-named sex columnists—Amber Sparkles, Buster Darkhole, and Maxwell Hillcrest—have teamed up to deliver a Very Special sex column about personal responsibility. This conversation—how to avoid unwanted pregnancies, STIs, abuse, and disappointment—is important. But Sparkles, Darkhole, and Hillcrest may be biting off more than they can chew here. The column is a little bit about pleasure: “Many people enjoy sex without condoms—scratch that, nearly everyone enjoys the sensations of sex more without condoms.” A little bit about shame: “it is your life. It is not the life of the girl who might yell ’slut’ at you when you walk home from a fantastic evening.” And a little bit about dying of AIDS: “imagine two boys at Apex going home together. They may have amazing sex, but if it is unprotected, the consequences can be fatal.”

Life Lesson: Sex undertaken without “planning ahead” can lead to babies, disease, and unhappiness.

Progressive Meter: The column is titled “Planning ahead helps ease worries in bed,” but the three-author treatment focuses entirely on sexual anxieties, and not on the peace of mind that can come with entering into sex fully prepared and ready to go. The intended take-away here—when you’re having sex, you should be concerned with satisfying your personal needs and taking care of yourself, not conforming to societal expectations—is a fine one. Unfortunately, the message gets lost in a sea of downers about the possible outcomes of doin’ it: campus shaming, misogyny, blood tests, abortion, and death. Four.

Photo by Darrow Montgomery

Eighteen-year-old Seth Rudnitsky, a freshman student at the University of Maryland, has been charged with first-degree burglary after allegedly entering a G.W. residence hall and attempting to sexually assault several sleeping women. That’s according to the charging documents in the case, which allege that Rudnitsky initiated “unwanted physical contact” with the women, and entered one room with the “intent to commit a criminal act.” The G.W. Hatchet reports that one of the women has secured a stay-away order against Rudnitsky.

Rudintsky’s attorney, Mark Schamel, has got another theory: He was just being silly!

Schamel “declined to comment on the specific allegations from the female students who said Rudnitsky tried to initiate unwanted sexual conduct.” But Schamel did comment on the featherbrained frivolity of the whole affair:

‘This is not a sexual assault case. You have a really good kid who has never been in trouble his entire life,” Schamel said. “It’s your typical freshman ‘I went out and had too much to drink and was being silly’ kind of case.”

Come on, you guys: It’s college! Surely you must remember college, a time when it was perfectly typical to go out, get hammered, have your friend sign you into his dorm, troll the building for sleeping women, and then, according to a police report, twice attempt to stick your hands down some shorts. These were just typical freshman college shenanigans, not unlike sampling marijuana or poisoning a rival college’s fountain with soap bubbles!

For the women who were assaulted, the “typical freshman experience” is a bit different: being awoken by unwanted groping from a strange man. But listen, ladies: That’s fine if that’s your college experience, as long as you don’t make a big fucking deal about it. “This frankly shouldn’t even be a criminal case,” Schamel told the Hatchet. “I think it’s being entirely blown out of proportion.”

Photo by arvindgrover

The fight for ideological dominance of D.C.’s college sex column “movement” rages on. Are our local campus columnists on the forefront of radical sex writing, or are they bringing back the good old days of borrowed class rings and shoulder-draped letter jackets? This week: A two-timing columnist receives a smackdown; college kids tell you not to have casual sex; the “MRS degree” makes a comeback.

GEORGE WASHINGTON UNIVERSITY:

Sex Tips: No new sex columns have been printed over at the Hatchet since female columnist Layla confessed she was fucking her best friend and male columnist Mr. Darcy outed his little virgin/whore complex. There has, however, been a bit of community push-back to Darcy’s double-timing the “nice girl” and the “freaky girl” while he waited for the “nice freaky girl” of his dreams to show up on his doorstep. “Bravo to this studly, virile man, who has so many girls drooling after him,” wrote Kristen McCarthy, a senior. “There is nothing we females like more than a complete tool who jerks us around, jumping from one girl to the next, and then decides to ‘have [his] cake and eat it too.’ . . . . The worst part? The author’s audacity to call himself Mr. Darcy. I can assure you that Miss Austen would never have stood for that behavior in a Darcy.”

Life Lesson: Choose your pseudonym wisely. Good luck: Buster Darkhole is already taken.

Progressive Meter: Calling a tool a tool is a treasured feminist pastime, and reclaiming Austen was a necessary move. But no woman can speak for all females: Some girls like jumping around, too. 7

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AMERICAN UNIVERSITY:

Sex Tips: The latest gem mined from the AU Eagle’s Amber Sparkles, Buster Darkhole, and Maxwell Hillcrest reveals an ideological rift between the trio of sex columnists. Each columnist took turns answering the question, “How long to wait to have sex?” Hillcrest took the philosophical route: “But by asking, you are halfway on the road to your answer,” he writes. Darkhole is short on specifics: “I would say try not to have it too soon.” And Sparkles sidelines ‘em all with her requisite conservative bent. “If you like someone enough to be interested in dating her or him or already are dating them, having sex could be a good experience. . . . As long as you are having sex because you like the person and would be interested in building your relationship, there isn’t a time that is too early or too late. But if your reasons are otherwise, then maybe you should think again.”

Life lesson: Don’t hit it unless you plan on hitting it for the rest of the semester.

Progressive Meter: Hillcrest hits the nail on the head when he tells students the only way to figure out if they’re ready to do it is to “talk to your partner.” Sparkles’ advice to only sex someone you’re “interested in dating,” not so much. Why not try having sex with someone you’re interested in having sex with? 5

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GEORGETOWN UNIVERSITY

Sex Tips: Columnist Colleen Leahey’s latest informs students about why people you are hooking up with lie to you. The column, typically, includes some strange ideas about men (from Mars) and women (Venus). Among them:

• “Men and women have forever had difficulties communicating with one another.”
• “Guys seem to be puzzled by the complex and utterly confusing mind games of women; females can’t seem to cope with the simplistic, one-track male thought-process.”
• “Guys are notoriously stereotyped by society as players. After several beers, they’re only after ‘one thing.’”
• “Not every college female is interested in graduating with her M.R.S. degree; some only want to have fun.”

The column also includes one extremely strange imagined scenario about what hooking up in college is like: “Perhaps their beer goggles were a bit too tight that night. Seeing as you two never made specific rules concerning exclusivity, the hot bro or chick smiling across the bar may seem extraordinarily appealing under the glow of Thirds’ neon totem pole. However, the morning light reveals a pudgy, acne-covered mistake with really bad breath. How mortifying!”

Life lesson: The “M.R.S. degree” reference was enough to tip us off that we’re dealing with an old, old soul here. The scare quotes around “one thing” and the exclamation point following “mortifying” seal the deal. Grandmother? Is that you in there?

Progressive Meter: Well, at least not “every” woman only went to college to get married. Zero.

Photo by riptheskull

“Both of these incidents exemplify ways that GW can improve security on its campus,” the Hatchet editorial informed students. According to the camps paper, the bathroom hammering reveals how the university needs to “better expedite information in response to major security threats on campus.” The sexual assault, meanwhile, “shows that students have a responsibility to keep themselves safe.”

Perhaps it was not the best choice of words.

Both incidents, which occurred on Friday, Oct. 9, involved an assault upon students in a private on-campus facility. The male graduate student suffered a “non-life-threatening head injury” after he was “using a urinal when the suspect . . . came out of one of the stalls, stood behind the student and hit him in the back of the head with a hammer.” Earlier that day, several G.W. freshman awoke to a strange man sexually assaulting them in their private dorm rooms. The paper, disappointingly, softens the man’s actions as “sexual advances“:

One female student who lives on the eighth floor reported that the man woke her up by trying to kiss her, and “attempted twice to place his hands down the front of her shorts,” according to the police report. The female began screaming and the man ran across the hallway to another room, where he woke up another girl. She said he told her he had met her at Josephine, a popular nightclub.

“That’s when I knew I didn’t know him—I’ve never been to Josephine,” the second female student said in an interview. “Then he grabbed my head and tried to kiss me.”

In the editorial following the incidents, the Hatchet board wrote that the sexual assaults constituted a “valuable reminder of the necessity for students to lock their doors at all times and to take responsibility for guests you bring into residence halls.”

These general safety precautions—lock your doors and don’t leave your guests unattended—are good to know, but it doesn’t take a G.W. Hatchet editorial for students to finally understand the arguments in favor of locking doors. Actually, a sexual assault on campus is not a “valuable” public service announcement, nor is it an appropriate opportunity to inform victims that they’re lacking in personal responsibility. The Hatchet noted that the assault victims had “accidentally left the door unlocked” before they went to sleep. Compare that lapse in “responsibility” to the guy who illegally gained entrance to a private dorm, climbed to the 8th floor, and systematically sexually assaulted a hallway full of sleeping women. Oh, well. At least he taught those girls a valuable lesson!

Why doesn’t the Hatchet see the a student getting hammered in the head as a “valuable reminder” that using a public urinal puts men in a vulnerable situation to a surprise attack? And why is the campus’ latest head injury victim not reminded that he has a “responsibility to keep himself safe” from deranged criminals? Maybe it’s because that sort of teaching moment works to place the blame on the guy who’s just taking a piss, instead of the unpredictably violent guy with the hammer. Take away the hammer, unlock the door, and turn the bathroom victim into a hallway full of sleeping women, and all of a sudden, nobody’s responsible for your sexual assault but you.

The G.W. Hatchet is writing to a pretty small campus community. The women who were sexually assaulted read that editorial. They know that their experience is being used by the campus press as a “valuable reminder” of campus irresponsibility. I hope they write back.

Early this morning, George Washington University police apprehended a suspect who had been seen attempting to “touch several females while they were sleeping.” According to a campus alert, a male student helped the suspect access campus dorm Thurston Hall at 19th and F Streets NW around 4:30 this morning. A security camera then recorded the male student “leaving the building alone soon after signing in his guest,” leaving the suspect unaccompanied in the freshman dorm.

The incidents sound familiar to a series of sexual assaults that have hit the campuses of Georgetown and the University of Maryland in recent years. But unlike the Georgetown and UMD cases, in which suspects continued to terrorize the campus communities for years, GW’s nighttime sexual assailant was immediately neutralized. The suspect was apprehended after several students living in Thurston hall “brought the male to the security desk at Thurston Hall” and police were notified. The suspect is currently in police custody.

The GW campus alert reminded students not to sign strange people into freshman dorms and then leave, so that they may touch sleeping women in your absence. “Students who violate the security protocols, such as the sign in procedure, may face serious consequences through the Office of Student Judicial Services, up to and including suspension or expulsion from the University,” the alert read. “In this case, a student signed in a guest and left the building, and put the security of all of the other residents in the building in jeopardy. Students should not allow people they do not know to piggy-back in the building and students are required to follow the procedure of escorting any guest they bring or sign into their residence hall.”

Photo by RyanGWU82

For last week’s paper, I wrote a story about a group of Beta Theta Pi fraternity brothers at the George Washington University who are working to eliminate homophobia from campus Greek life. Judging by the comments section, they have quite a way to go!

Larry gets the ball rolling:

Fuckin’ fags!

While Clay voices concern about the persecution of homophobes on campus:

I don’t agree with Molldrem that “weeding out the homophobes with the hungry” is a good strategy for Fraternity recruitment. The goal should not be to exclude segments of the student body, as doing so would make his organization equally guilty of discrimination. Providing food or dinners for recruitment is not masculine food porn and offering Maryland blue crabs certainly isn’t “typical.” The point is that Freshmen are on a budget and offering a nice meal is a good way to get a large turnout at an event- regardless of attendees sexuality. The Fraternities can THEN speak to attendees about Greek Life at GW, debunk myths, and talk about what the organizations are about.

Offering an event entitled “Frat vs. Fraternity: Myths Debunked” will not attract anyone who isn’t already interested in pledging a Fraternity and will never provide the opportunity for Beta to change the misguided perceptions and stereotypes of Greek Life possessed by many Freshmen who base their opinions off rumors and television. I believe Beta’s strategy here is counterproductive to the rest of the Greek Community at GW. It would be nice if Beta could be more accepting of all diversity as it would provide them an opportunity to break down barriers and educate as many people as possible about tolerance, instead of just catering to those who “get it” and “weeding out” everyone else.

Greg is mostly concerned about Larry’s campus presence:

I graduated from GW 18 years ago, was active in the gay students’ group, and had many friends in fraternities (Kappa Sig especially) who had no problems with me or my friends, even in the late 80s/early 90s. I was glad to see this article linked to the beloved City Paper from TowleRoad.com, and judging by the range of comments, it seems that GW is still pretty much filled/associated with a wide variety of people who are basically live and let live …

Except for Larry, who reminds me of the people the campus mobilized against in the fall of 1989 following the last time the NAMES Project Quilt was displayed in its entirety on the mall … we were called pedophiles for being gay and the student community wouldn’t stand for that or for the LGBT community being condemned to death from AIDS based on pure homophobia and hate. As we said at the time, people who think like this are threatened and tortured inside by sexual insecurity and, oddly, an inability to spell correctly.

Larry counters:

Greg I think i remember you, you were the ass muncher that got caught giving head to the basketball team in the gelman bathroom. have you made the move to san francisco or are u still scraping your knees and walking bowlegged from the black queens in dupont circle?

Greg responds:

Wow, Larry. You really seem to have the pulse on gay life at GW … I didn’t know the basketball team hung out in the bathrooms in Gelman Library, considering that they play in the Smith Center. Maybe you just play in Gelman and with the black queens in Dupont who, no doubt, would turn you out and upside your head. You’re projecting so badly and loudly that it is causing traffic up here in Connecticut. At least you used spell check this time.

this is stupid lives up to his name:

there is no room for homosexuals in greek life. end of story.

Conrad Davis:

With well supported and reasoned arguments like that, how could anyone disagree?

Thanks for highlighting greek life’s commitment to intellectual excellence!

. . . The last comment was snide, but truthfully in my mind there’s a very strong correlation between Greek life and the stupid. This article, more than anything I’ve read in a long while, has changed that opinion.

And Robert Loggia wants his money back from the free newspaper he didn’t buy:

This is an utterly ludicrous, insipid, waste of time and effort. Whoever believes this is news is not thinking clearly. I do not understand why Beta feels the need to publicize something like this. If they were in such support of diminishing homophobic stereotypes pertaining to Greek Life, why don’t they actually concentrate on recruiting high quality individuals? How is this article supposed to make homosexual individuals who are rushing Beta or wherever feel? It was mentioned that homosexuals don’t want special attention and just want to be accepted. This article seems counterproductive. If people and fraternities are good matches, then that should be good enough, regardless of sexual orientation, ethnicity, what have you.

This is trash and I will be writing an additional letter to the editor demanding some sort of compensation for the time I wasted reading this slop and writing this response.

Pssssst, Robert, you can try to rack up the cash by writing that letter to the editor here. Note: Authors published in the Washington City Paper comments section may not receive financial compensation for their work. But they can rest assured that they’re wasting my time, too!

Photo by Darrow Montgomery

This week, the Nation’s Alex Dibranco declared that the college sex column represents “a radical progressive movement in the sense of pushing against traditional silence and the status quo.” That might have been true when sex columns first popped up on college campuses in 1996, but now, fucking and telling is a normal campus activity for radicals and right-wingers alike. At this point, simply rehashing your heterosexual, vanilla, and gender-role-informed Saturday night hook-up through the campus press does not a sexual revolution make—even if you publish under the pseudonym “Buster Darkhole.” Sady of Tiger Beatdown and I talk about where the student sex column should go from here.

References: George Washington University’s sex column, penned by “Mr. Darcy” and “Layla” [Exhibits A & B]; Georgetown University’s sex column, penned by Colleen Leahey [Exhibits C & D]; American University’s sex column, penned by “Amber Sparkles,” “Maxwell Hillcrest,” and our pal Buster [Exhibits E & F].

SADY: ah, the kids today. what are they up to? other than pretending they know enough about sex to write about it, OBVS, since the kids of many various days seem to believe the same thing.

AMANDA: also, inventing hilarious pseudonyms for themselves, like Rex Butthole and V. Gina

SADY: i know, right? or BUSTER DARKHOLE, Legitimate Writer and Giver of Mature Sexual Counsel [Exhibit E]. somehow, i just hold out the hope that Buster Darkhole is his real name and this is the only career path open to him.

AMANDA: hahaha

SADY: actually, as i read your summary, i was fondest of the work and pseudonym of MR. DARCY [Exhibit A]. i remember the third-act twist in Pride and Prejudice which mr. darcy exclaimed, “verily, miss bennet! our coffee date has involved a most unexpected oral manipulation of my genitals! yet i cannot refuse the fair lady Bingley, who is a superfreak in word and in deed!”

AMANDA: agreed, but at least mr. darcy is better than “layla” [Exhibit B], the name of the female columnist. though i knew a lot of kids in college into Clapton, so i guess it’s a cultural thing

SADY: haha. but, you know, reading these things and your summary of them, i was reminded of (CURSE ME FOR UTTERING THE FORBIDDEN NAME) T*cker M*x. [Exhibit douche]. Somehow, it’s just not scandalous any more to note that ladies like to have sex and are having casual sex. Unless you are the Pope, in which case all sex scandalizes you to some degree or another. The Kids These Days are pro-sex, including the lady ones. but they’re also pro-ridiculously-conservative-gender-norms. and i had somehow hoped that making the point that ladies and dudes can both enjoy sex would change things. IT HAS NOT.

AMANDA: one idea i’ve seen in a couple of these stories (and from adults talking down to college-age people, too) is: yes, women like to have sex just as much as men do, but they have to not do it in order to be happy [Exhibit E].

SADY: oh, yes. the HOOKUP CULTURE! which is DESTROYING LADIES’ CHANCES OF HAPPINESS!

AMANDA: because if they don’t not have sex they’ll never be in a relationship, which is what they REALLY want.

SADY: right. your vagina has to accumulate enough charge, through non-use, in order to work its Boyfriend-Entrapping powers on the dude of your choice.

AMANDA: i just read a chapter of a new book about young adult sexual experiences, ill remember the name later [Exhibit Laid: Young People’s Experiences with Sex in an Easy-Access Culture], and the introduction compared “hooking up” to a “microwave burrito” — you want it in the moment but eventually, you’re going to regret it. the book called casual sex “settling,” and insisted that good sex can only be had in committed relationships. personally, i really like being in a relationship, but part of the reason i like it is because i’m not only in the relationship so that i am ALLOWED TO HAVE SEX. i imagine this worldview just ends up with a lot of women settling into relationships with people they they don’t really like that also don’t provide great sex

SADY: yeah, and the mr. darcy column (i am sorry i keep returning to it! it fascinates me!) sets up the same good girl/bad girl paradigm. like, i COULD be with the girl who i might legitimately want a relationship with… or i could be with AWESOME SEXY TIMES lady. and, you know? it’s kind of sad to me that dudes still think this division exists. although hilarious that dude is puzzling out loud over how he wasn’t able to “settle down” as a damn college student.

AMANDA: i know. but then at the end, darcy is all, “you know what, maybe i can find a freaky girl that i love!” but you know he’s just gonna kinda keep fucking both of them. Whatever. that is the weirdest thing to me about the Concerns over the Hook-Up Culture. why should college students be encouraged to search out their Final Life-Long relationship among the first relationships they’ve ever had? that makes no sense, and neither does telling girls that hooking up will damage them. they can look for a boyfriend whenever they want to do that. or a girlfriend, which is one thing that none of these sex columns is really addressing.

SADY: YEAH. it’s all boys sexing the girls, and ridiculous gender stereotypes of boys sexing girls [Exhibit D], but these “sex” columns often seem more like the work of not terribly reflective or original straight college kids marveling over the fact that they can have sex and not worry about their moms overhearing them or showing up to offer suzy a ride home before it gets too late. but shouldn’t “sex” be a more, um, inclusive discussion than this thing about giggling over how you got SOOOO wasted and sexed up someone in your totes heterosexual manner last night?

AMANDA: of course, i would say yeah, but i can see why this happens. when you’re in college, those things are exciting to you, as a boring heterosexual person, even if its not terribly interesting to even, say, your classmates. it can be hard to look past your own experience when you’re first experiencing all these things. also, it can be hard to write when you’ve recently graduated from 5 paragraph essays.

SADY: oh, yeah. and, i mean, that’s cool and all. but it also – and i speak as someone who is ancient as the grave and yet remembers similar pressures from when i went to college – it creates this weird atmosphere on campus, where you ARE, to some degree, pressured to have enough casual sex to prove that you can do it and aren’t some clingy relationship-needing heterosexual female, yet you’re also a slut if you don’t eventually have a relationship, and you don’t exist, basically, if you’re queer.

AMANDA: yep.

SADY: like, it’s about “freedom,” and rebellion, but freedom can only ever take one pre-existing shape. by trying to make sex more public, you should be opening it up, but you end up writing a script for what sex should look like. which is not good for anyone, actually.

AMANDA: no, and it’s not particularly fun to read. which should be the main point. though i thought the American University anal sex column was getting there a little bit. at least Darkhole was all, “if you want her to put her finger in your butt, it’s cool, man.” [Exhibit F].

SADY: well, i mean, you have SEEN HIS NAME, right? he is buster darkhole! this is the column he was born to write!

AMANDA: yeah. I mean, it’s possible that Darkhole is a little too eager with the anal sex. i think i noted that the column didn’t mention the fact that like, it’s cool not to have anal sex, too, if you’re not into it.

SADY: maybe his full name is actually Buster Orhis Darkhole III.

AMANDA: i really want to score an interview with this person. but the AU column is an interesting approach because it is three people, two men and one lady, and i don’t know if there’s any gay or lesbian representation on that board, but that approach does open up the possibility of diversity, and not preaching one person’s crazy high school abstinence-only education lessons to an entire campus [Exhibit C]. although god knows how they actually get together and write that thing.

SADY: yeah, i mean, i’m fond of the collaborative approach to all this. maybe if there were like FIFTEEN college sex journalists per campus (and there are probably enough candidates!) you might get one of them that is confident enough not to just say whatever they think will make them look cool and sexually experienced, middle-school style. and hey, maybe one or two that aren’t straight people! that would be fun! i mean, i am skeptical of the entire “sex expert” position. i’m a grown lady who has been thinking about this stuff for the majority of my grown lady life, and i’m still not an expert on how my OWN sexual relationships should go.

AMANDA: it’s interesting, because the Nation’s piece on student sex columns painted them as this really radical progressive movement. and i think there’s a confusion there, because people still think that “talking about sex” makes you a liberal and saying “people shouldn’t talk about sex” makes you conservative.

SADY: right! and i think it is an issue of the younger generation! battle lines have shifted a bit; now, EVERYBODY talks about sex, liberal and conservative and that’s kind of taken for granted. it’s what they say that is the issue. or, alternately, the fact that everybody who is given a platform to do so seems to say the same thing.

AMANDA: right. and i don’t know what Mr. Darcy or Ramm Bottomham’s political persuasion is, but I imagine there’s more political diversity in these columnists than there is actual sexual diversity. which is weird!

SADY: yeah. and, honestly, i think T. Otis Notavirgin or whatever are – MAYBE! JUST MAYBE! – feeling more pressure to seem in line with the most widely accepted version of College-Age Sexuality than to actually, seriously think about sex and maybe come up with some insights.

AMANDA: yeah, and seeing as whenever i happen to write about college students they all flood my comments with insights like, “gay,” or … “gay,” i can’t really blame them [Exhibit frat]. college students are really harshly scrutinized over their sex lives, and college sex columnists must experience the worst of it.

SADY: Honestly! Here is what I think: I think that Buster Darkhole and Layla and Mr. Darcy and whoever are all filing these pieces that are like, “so I got totally WASTED! and had SEX! like PEOPLE MY AGE TEND TO DO!” then they are going home to make microwave popcorn and watch a movie and call their moms. and maybe ask someone out to a movie. that is what i believe. or hope?

AMANDA: i think they’re probably also silently weeping over the comments and/or getting shit from their friends [Exhibit single tear].

SADY: oh, god yes. but, you know, if embarrassing college sex columns are what it takes to teach the young people about Dealing With The Terrible Mean Blog Comments That People Will Eventually Leave On Any Blog Ever, I think it’s a sacrifice worth making. sort of!

Photo by BodogGirl

Criticisms of D.C.-area student sex columns, however, rarely take the form of the right-wing, anti-sex diatribe. At local colleges and universities, sex columnists are more likely to catch heat for furthering sex-negative sentiments, antiquated gender roles, or sloppy writing.

Last month, the American University Eagle’s anonymous sex column was criticized for trivializing rape, ignoring LGBT students, and discouraging women from pursuing sex. Also this month, Georgetown University student journalist Juliana Brint accused her campus’ sex columns of being “backwards, anti-feminist screeds” based on “outdated, belittling generalizations about the female psyche.” How progressive are our local student sex writers?

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Student Paper: The G.W. Hatchet

Columnists: Mr. Darcy, an anonymous heterosexual male; Layla, an anonymous heterosexual female.

Areas of Coverage: In Darcy’s inaugural column, the male sex columnist posed an Austenian dilemma: Shall he choose the nice girl who gives a satisfying blow job, or the freaky one into semi-public window sex? Answer: Looks like he’s sleeping (with both of them) on it for a little while longer. In Layla’s latest go-around, she describes her unorthodox relationship with a “best friend” from out-of-town: They do it all the time, but they’re not dating or anything, and it’s awesome!

Progressive Score: 6. Both Darcy and Layla describe their personal experiences with casual sex with multiple partners—and they do so with respect for themselves and for everyone else involved. In college, that can be difficult—it’s hardly edgy, but I’ll take it. The problem with first-person sex columns from two heteros, though, is that the LGBT experience is completely shut out of the paper.

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Student paper: The American University Eagle.

Sex columnists: Three anonymous writers—one female, two male, sexual orientation undisclosed. Their porny bylines: Amber Sparkles, Buster Darkhole, and Maxwell Hillcrest.

Areas of Coverage: The trio got off to a controversial start last month when they posited this hypothetic sexual experience—”It’s three in the morning. You have it inside you right now. It kind of hurts. You’ve had one too many cups of jungle juice”—as a normal AU hookup. In their follow-up column, Sparkles, Darkhole, and Hillcrest winked at the controversy as they moved on to another taboo campus topic. “It’s 3 a.m. and he has it in you right now. It hurts,” the column read. “You are two sober, consenting adults who have just embarked on the journey of anal sex.”

Progressive Score: 7. While the first column from the threesome was extremely ill-advised, this servicey anal sex primer—don’t use silicone lube with silicone toys!—imparted some helpful and open-minded advice for dorm-dwellers embarking on an anal excursion for the first time. It also made a stab at inclusiveness: “Gay, straight, bisexual—it doesn’t matter,” the column reads. “Anyone can enjoy the feeling that comes from anal stimulation, no matter their gender or sexual orientation.”

But while the column worked to dispel the “taboo” against straight men enjoying ass play, it failed to tackle the pressure many straight women feel to do anal. It also only addressed the anal pleasure derived from massaging the prostate. Not everybody has a prostate!

On the other hand, the threesome managed to stir up some conservative ire for the column—always a good sign. “I am appalled at the content of the Eagle’s new column,” wrote one commenter. “I find this particular article vulgar.”

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Student Paper: The Georgetown University Hoya.

Sex Columnists: Colleen Leahey

Areas of Coverage: According to Brint, who writes for the Georgetown Voice, Leahey’s “backwards, anti-feminist screeds” come from a long line of conservative Georgetown sex columnists (Julia Allison was the first). In Leheay’s first column, she declared that “The quest for ‘Prince Charming’ consumes the lives of most 20-something females.” The odd advice in her second column wasn’t so much gender-specific as it was stalker-specific: “After shouting their name, you wait for them to come running into your arms. Instead they ask, ‘Why are you following me?’”

Progressive Score: 4. Leahey may very well have her hands tied at this particularly conservative student rag, which is lucky to have a sex column at all. ““[V]ulgarity is discouraged through all sections in The Hoya,” Hoya Managing Editor Marissa Amendolia explained in an e-mail to Brint. “[W]hen it comes to editing for style, vulgarity—and, depending on the situation, this may include sexual explicitness—is subject to editing as long as the editor maintains the author’s viewpoint.” That being said, Leahey doesn’t have to get vulgar to become a bit more open-minded. It would behoove her to direct her columns to all members of the campus community, not just heterosexual females she deems “desperate.”

Nevertheless, I give Leahey and the Hoya major points for refusing to hide their sex coverage under a pseudonym (even a pseudonym as inspired as “Buster Darkhole”). The Hoya’s sex talk may be low on the sex, but at least they own it. If there’s nothing wrong with talking about casual sex and anal experimentation, why keep your identity under the covers?

Note: I couldn’t find any current sex columns at the UMD Diamondback, the Howard University Hilltop, or, uh, Catholic University. If you know of any other local student sex writers, let me know!

According to fraternal historian ­Nicholas Syrett, America’s fraternity culture has thrived on a fear of homosexuality since the 1920’s. All-male fraternal organizations, Syrett writes, “compensate for what might be perceived by outsiders as either feminine or gay behavior by enacting a masculinity [of] aggressive heterosexuality.” In order to preempt homosexual interpretations of the fraternal bond, the brothers employ ritualistic paddling, frat house sex, and homophobic epithets to fight their way back to straight.

The Syrettian fraternal tradition poses some pre-professional problems for the young men on the campus of George Washington University.

After all, GW’s fraternity brothers are the nation’s future congressmen, investment bankers, and CEOs. They won’t reach those positions if their Google profiles turn up associations with homophobic and misogynistic fraternities. So GW’s frat boys—and don’t call them that!—are straining to undo the legacy of “aggressive heterosexuality” and gay-bashing forged by their predecessors. It’s an effort that involves a good deal of re-education, some new alliances, and a compensatory vice or two.

RUSHING. Each September, GW’s potential pledges navigate a monthlong schedule of university-sanctioned rush events. The activities provide a brief introduction to each fraternity’s social reputation. Will the future fraternity brother enjoy s’mores at Kappa Sigma’s “acoustic jam” or feast upon Kappa Alpha Order’s steamed Maryland crabs? Will he chat up Sigma Chi’s favorite sorority ladies or help Sigma Nu launch a frozen turkey down a Slip ’N Slide? Will he scarf Lambda Chi Alpha’s Chipotle burritos or watch the brothers of TKE take a sledgehammer to a car?

This year, Beta Theta Pi decided to trade the food porn and the masculine displays of destruction for a more meaningful approach. “The events that I rushed into initially were food-focused,” says Stephen Molldrem, the fraternity’s vice president. “This year, we’re trying something completely different. Other fraternities will pick men who share their values out of the ones who show up for the Maryland blue crabs. We attract men of values, and we then just happen to serve them Maryland blue crabs when they show up.”

Beta Theta Pi Vice President Stephen Molldrem

That formula—values first, crabs later—helps weed out the homophobes with the hungry. In Beta Theta Pi’s first rush event this year, titled “Frat Versus Fraternity: Myths Debunked,” Molldrem and his brothers discussed popular misconceptions about “frat boys” with potential pledges.

William Zelenty, the fraternity’s rush coordinator, says the strategy had helped establish Beta Theta Pi as an organization of principle. “In the past, the fraternity was about upholding the status quo and letting the sexist and homophobic stuff fly,” he says. “Now, we’re dealing with it. If you’re the kind of person who goes around and says that kind of stuff, you’re not the kind of person I want involved in our chapter. Not everyone is perfect, but if any homophobic comments arise in a meeting or on the Listserv, I can tell you right now that it’s quelled immediately.”

Also not welcome at Beta Theta Pi: stereotypical comments about sexist and homophobic “frat boys.” “It’s just patently offensive,” says Molldrem, who is gay. “Even using the words ‘frat boy’ together can connote a bias.”

Beta Theta Pi rush coordinator Will Zelenty

HAZING. When one GW sophomore pledged an off-campus fraternity last year, he was relieved that the hazing process did not involve the “grotesque display of homosexual actions and physical pain” he had heard rumors of back home in Alabama. But what the hazing lacked in homophobia, it made up for in Kentucky Gentleman.

The night he officially pledged the fraternity, the student and his pledge class assembled in the frat house. “A trash can was brought out and put into the middle of the floor, and we were told to stand around the trash can,” he says. “We were then asked to drop our pants, but to leave our underwear on,” he says. The light homoeroticism—and the trash can—proved red herrings for the main event. Once the pants were dropped, the student says, “a bottle of Kentucky Gentleman bourbon was introduced to the circle, opened, and passed around among the circle of pledges.

As the pledges drank, the brothers sang. “You would have to drink until they stopped singing,” he says. “The first time, it was not that bad—they didn’t sing for that long,” he says. “The second time, they sang for maybe 10 to 12 seconds—an extremely long time.” When the bottle was finished, the pledge pulled up his pants as a newly minted member of the fraternity. “Shortly after that, I blacked out,” he says.

The student awoke in Georgetown University hospital to learn that he had left the post-pledging party, entered another student’s dorm room, and urinated all over his possessions. The student called the University Police Department, which administered the pledge a breathalyzer test. He blew a .24.

All hazing activities—from “paddling” to “scaveneger hunts”—are banned on the GW campus, and many fraternities honor school rules. When GW frats do haze, the activities—low on the homoerotic domination, high on the blood alcohol content—comport with the campus’ progressive nature. When fraternity brothers don’t fear associations with homosexuality, they’re a lot less likely to turn their hangups into a good paddling. But chugging alcohol is universal. Stereotypically, “frat boys are thought of as sexist and homophobic, but I don’t know if I’ve ever really heard that at GW,” says Josh Brown, rush coordinator of Zeta Beta Tau. Brown, who doesn’t drink, says that even GW’s wildest frat parties involve only “drinking to prove yourself,” not “drinking to get a girl drunk.”

PARTYING. Todd Belok, a GW sophomore, was a member of the school’s Naval ROTC program when he decided to pledge Beta Theta Pi. Belok wanted to make sure his potential brothers “didn’t hate who I am,” so he casually informed a couple of brothers of his sexual orientation over the course of the pledge process. “I was taking a course with one of the brothers who happened to be in my class,” says Belok. “I asked if I could bring my boyfriend to [a fraternity] party, and he said that would be completely fine.” Later, inside the Beta Theta Pi house, another brother “pulled me over and told me it was totally OK, and they didn’t have a problem with it here.”

Beta Theta Pi brother Todd Belok

The fraternity house quickly became a safe haven for Belok. A few weeks later, Belok was again partying with his boyfriend in the Beta house when a couple of Belok’s fellow NROTC midshipmen saw the couple kissing and reported the infraction to their superiors. “I had seen the guys at the party, and I was a little bit concerned,” says Belok. “But I thought it was really wrong to keep on hiding.”

The incident, which led to Belok’s dismissal from NROTC under “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell,” revealed a growing rift between two of the nation’s most masculine traditions—fraternity life, which embraced Belok’s sexual orientation, and military life, which rejected it. Belok’s dismissal hasn’t prompted Beta Theta Pi to take a more discriminating approach to its guest policy. “What are you going to do? Stop everyone at the door and ask them about their thoughts on various social subjects?” says Belok. But it has renewed the house’s commitment to its idea of fraternity culture. “A lot of the brothers were really angry that it happened,” says Belok. “And they were really angry that it happened here.”

Photos by Darrow Mongtomery

My wife has convinced me when I’m elected governor we’re going to have a working mom government simplicity task force so all the smart women in Virginia can help tell me how to run Virginia,” McDonnell said. “[They will] help cut down some of that bureaucracy, I think that would be a good idea.”

Any government program tentatively named the “Working Mom Government Simplicity Task Force” which aims to include the perspectives “all the smart women in Virginia” is sure to cut down on bureaucracy! Oh, and in case you were wondering: he got that idea before all the smart women in Virginia turned against him:

When asked by a member of the media after the speech, McDonnell said he proposed that idea to his team before his thesis was brought to light.

Before D.C.-area colleges welcome back their undergraduates from summer vacation, let’s give the schools a little test of our own. Campus Pride’s LGBT-Friendly Campus Climate Index rates four-year colleges and universities around the country based on their “LGBT-Friendly policies, programs and practices.” The index surveys schools on eight subject areas (click through for survey questions): LGBT “Policy Inclusion,” “Support & Institutional Commitment,” “Student Life,” “Academic Life,” “Housing,” “Campus Safety,” “Counseling & Health,” and “Recruitment and Retention Efforts.” Campus Pride also administers a “Sexual Orientation Score” and a “Gender Identity/Expression Score” to isolate schools that are friendly to LGB issues but not to T issues, or vice-versa.

Since the index is based on a voluntary survey, not all local schools have submitted themselves for rating here—though 204 schools nationwide have. So keep in mind: even a low rating from Campus Pride shows more commitment to LGBT issues on campus than a school that’s not rated at all. Local ratings (out of 5 possible points) are after the jump.

American University: 4.5
Sexual Orientation Score: 4.5
Gender Identity/Expression Score: 4.5

University of Maryland, College Park: 4.5
Sexual Orientation Score: 5
Gender Identity/Expression Score: 4

George Mason University: 4
Sexual Orientation Score: 5
Gender Identity/Expression Score: 4

George Washington University: 4
Sexual Orientation Score: 3.5
Gender Identity/Expression Score: 3.5

Virginia Tech: 3.5
Sexual Orientation Score: 4
Gender Identity/Expression Score: 2

University of Virginia: 3
Sexual Orientation Score: 4
Gender Identity/Expression Score: 2

Maryland Institute College Of Art (MICA): 2.5
Sexual Orientation Score: 4.5
Gender Identity/Expression Score: 2.5

Towson University: 2.5
Sexual Orientation Score: 2
Gender Identity/Expression Score: 1

Not rated: Georgetown University, Catholic University, and Howard University.

Photo by A Girl And Her Camera

Anonymous public sex ain’t as public—or anonymous—as it used to be. In the past ten years, private Internet hook-ups have all but eliminated the need for old-fashioned public toe-tapping meet-ups. In the meantime, some infamous incidents have helped raise awareness about the dangers of initiating anonymous public sex with the wrong guy—like an undercover cop.

But somewhere between the time that the Internet went mainstream and Craigslist took over the sex stuff—we’re talking late-90s, early 2000s here—willing partners in search of anonymous sex began seeking out—and recording—their public meet-ups spots online.

The popularity of these online message boards—like Gay Universe’s D.C. cruising spot locator—have come and gone. But in their wake, public sex locations (like restrooms), their corresponding sex codes (like winks), and their dangers (like leather-clad dudes who hang around suspiciously, pretending to “fix their glasses”) have been recorded for posterity. What remains is an online history of glory holes past, present, and policed.

Alongside the clubs, porn shops, and public parks is one particularly refined category of anonymous sex meeting places: The District of Columbia’s most prestigious universities. Delve into the online public sex histories of American, Catholic, Gallaudet, George Washington, and Georgetown, after the jump.

AMERICAN UNIVERSITY

LOCATION: Bender Library

This AU anonymous sex tipster called out Bender Library way back in 1999, suggesting partners meet in the library’s 2nd floor bathroom, and then “hook up elsewhere.”

“Be sure to check messages in stall…only one has door,” he writes. “Wait in study room across from bathroom for guys to go in.”

Two years later, another poster took issue with the lewd characterization of AU’s main study space, writing: “PLEASE DELETE: WRONG LISTING.” Was an AU supporter attempting to clear Bender’s name through non-police avenues? Or had the original poster simply been mistaken?

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THE CATHOLIC UNIVERSITY OF AMERICA

LOCATION: Somewhere, anywhere.

Though the Catholic University of America has popped up frequently on Gay Universe’s D.C. cruising message board—the school’s Pangborn Hall is a notable suggested locale—the only link that remains unbroken is this coed’s cry for help: “Can anyone help a horny college kid out.. Im 6′-3′ 230 Short hair average build tight ass… Im looking for a dick to suck and maybe even fuck.. would love to swallow your load.” This guy’s not looking for public sex—just any sex. Given Catholic’s reputation for hush-hush heterosexual encounters, it’s no surprise that one desperate undergrad would turn first to anonymous sex venue to locate a partner.

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GALLAUDET UNIVERSITY

LOCATION: Gallaudet University Library

Sex tipsters are divided as to whether Gallaudet’s anonymous sex scene is totally dead—or just quiet enough to encourage discrete hook-ups. “The bathroom is almost always empty! You can do it in there,” writes one poster. Another disagrees: “No action here at all. This listing should be removed.”

The library sex scene may not be very active on campus, but it’s still managed to stir up some anonymous sex bigotry. “Gallaudet is a deaf college and some deaf guys are hot!” one poster suggests. Another is bothered by a different kind of diversity: “Too many colored guys,” he writes.

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GEORGETOWN UNIVERSITY

LOCATION: Lauinger Library

One poster listed this Jesuit institution’s humanities, social sciences, and business library as a prime D.C. cruising spot, but don’t expect to find Georgetown’s anonymous sex history detailed in its stacks: Nowadays, the Gay Universe page listing is completely blank

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THE GEORGE WASHINGTON UNIVERSITY

LOCATION: Bell Hall; Corcoran Hall

Back in 2000, GWU’s Bell Hall was bumping. “THe 4th floor men’s room(across from the Biology Department is hot,” one sex-seeker wrote. Chimed in another: “As stated, this place is hot. Weekdays from 5pm, and weekends all day!” But be December of that year, the spot was played out. “I am a grad student at GWU,” the final poster divulged. “Seen so many arrest that I believe is my duty to alert you guys. Not worth the risk.”

The campus’ Corcoran Hall, too, has seen safer anonymous sex days. In 2000, the 1st floor Men’s bathroom, “across from faculty office,” was the place to be. “Loud door makes time for recovery. Lots of hot GW studs await at both the urinal, and the stalls!” one tipster wrote. “Hot! hot! hot! anytime of day,” another added. But by 2002, the place was being frequented by disengenuous sex-seekers “WATCH FOR UNDERCOVER COPS!!!!! ESPECIALLY ON THE WEEKENDS. I DON’T GO THERE ANY MORE, I’VE SEEN TO MANY MEN GET ARRESTED. IT’S NOT WORTH IT,” one wrote.

One poster suggested that the sting operation was the work of one leather-wearing faker. “Their is a guy who hangs around this place that always wears a black leather jacket and pretends to fix his glases. He is lean and has slicked back black hair. Watch out for this guy,” he wrote. “He is an under-cover cop. He reports what he sees to the campus police. he is not there all the time, but if you see him, leave right away.”

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CONTINUING EDUCATION:

LOCATION: Martin Luther King Jr. Library

“Seen a lot of jacking off at the stalls here and some under the stall activity,” one tipster writes. Another gets a little more specific: “There is a bi guy 17-19 who usually wears a hat, who can suck dick good. when you see him, just wink or grab urself (or both) and follow him then he’ll take care of you. he likes clean young hung thug types. if ur white or blk, you better dress gangsta and be hung. hes usually there monday, wednesday and friday in the evening after 3p.” Wow. That guy sure had a lot of information for a guy who’s certainly not the 17-to-19-year-old bisexual guy, didn’t he?

Photo by NCinDC

On Friday, the Faculty Senate of the George Washington University moved to include “gender identity and expression” to its non-discrimination policy, the Hatchet reports. G.W.’s added protection puts its policy in line with the D.C. Human Rights Act, which added those protections in 2006. The official recognition as a protected group, at the very least, will grant G.W.’s transgender community more visibility when filing complaints with the university. Earlier this year, I wrote about the on-campus experience of Devin Alston-Smith, a trans student at G.W. who was frustrated by the university response after reporting alleged harassment at the hands of his sorority sisters. Read the story, Menace to Sorority, here.

G.W.’s non-discrimination policy currently reads:”The University will not permit discrimination on grounds of sex, race, color, religion, national origin, disability, sexual orientation or identity, or any other illegal basis in any University-recognized area of student life.” Even though “gender expression and identity” is officially incorporated into the university policy under D.C. law, the lack of explicit wording at the university level can make filing grievances with the University Police Department and school administrators very, very difficult (review my G.W. transgender discrimination story, “Menace to Sorority,” for a refresher).

In short, the argument goes like this: administrators aren’t always aware that “gender identity” is a protected group in D.C., are not sure how to file school complaints based on that group, and are generally ignorant of transgender issues on campus.

In G.W. student newspaper the Hatchet this week, G.W. Law Professor John Banzhaf raised several issues with TEA’s proposed amendment to the non-discrimination policy. Banzhaf has crusaded for gender equality in D.C. and elsewhere (and commented on a story I wrote earlier this year about age discrimination in local bars). Banzhaf’s concerns about the amendment included the fact that the amendment could open women’s restroom use to “transvestites or cross-dressers—including heterosexual men in dresses,” and that the university already covers gender identity in its “sexual identity” protection, so the protection would be redundant.

If the protection is redundant, why will it provide for this new menace of cross-dressing men using women’s bathrooms? After all, “gender identity” is already protected throughout D.C.—if that’s a threat, it’s a threat that should already be evident across the District.

Today, G.W.’s GLBT community responded to Banzhaf, noting, among other things, that the hot-button bathroom issue is, in fact, not a threat. Former campus Allied in Pride President Neha Shah wrote that Banzhaf’s editorial revealed a fundamental misunderstanding of both the transgender community—which he referred to, incorrectly, as “transgendered”—and “sexual identity,” which is separate from “gender identity.” Shah also asserted that Banzhaf’s bathroom concerns were unfounded, writing: “hundreds of universities have implemented this policy and this has never been a problem. Ever.”

In the days after Belok’s story was published, freshman Dave Perry, one of the two students who reported Belok to his superiors, received several hateful e-mails and Facebook messages, according to a member of the unit who requested anonymity because of the sensitivity of the situation.

Perry declined to comment on the situation, as did Nick Trimis, the other student who reported Belok.

Trimis is the student who wrote the fateful ROTC Performance Review Report that put the “tell” in “Don’t Ask Don’t Tell” for Belok:

“In the basement of Beta Theta Pi, MIDN Belok introduced me to another male, who he referred to as his ’special friend,’ ” Trimis wrote in the Performance Review Board report. “Within five minutes of this introduction, I witnessed MIDN Belok kissing this individual on the lips. I decided I needed to leave after this encounter.”

It’s terrible that Belok—from all accounts, a model ROTC recruit—has been denied military service on the basis of his sexual orientation. But I feel for his fellow ROTC members, too. Two Freshmen guys arrive at college for the first time. They witness what may be the first homosexual act they’ve ever seen. Then, probably scared out of their minds by ROTC’s policy on gays, they choose to follow orders instead of concealing another member’s secret. “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” affects more than just gays; it creates a culture of fear for all servicemen who are forced to out their fellow recruits in order to avoid the possibility of being reprimanded for letting it slide.

My story this week, “Menace to Sorority,” about a transgender man’s sorority trouble, touched about a hundred nerves. You can read all the comments on the story here. Below, choice perspectives from Greek life, GLBT theory, and innocent bystanders:

bigblugemini, 2009/02/20 at 1:34 AM

I am gay male and a member of Phi Beta Sigma Fraternity, Inc. I understand Alston-Smith’s frustration with wanting to be accepted as transgender and I think it takes a brave person to choose to live the life that he has chosen to live. I, too, had a terrible undergraduate experience as a new initiate of the fraternity

I was not “out” and did not put myself “out there”, nor did I expect to be accepted as a member of the frat who is a gay male. I wanted to be accepted a Brother. However, the members’ perception of what they thought my sexual orientation was and their response to this is what made my undergraduate experience unfortunate. I dare not go into details but even in the midst of this, I worked hard to prove that I was worthy of membership and that I would “herald and defend even agaist the world.” While I don’t share a brotherly relationship with some of the brothers, including my line brothers, I never let that affect my love for the fraternity and my deep conviction in the fraternity’s principles. As such, I value my gifts that represent Sigma and I would never (and will never) destroy or part with my Fraternity paraphernalia. Phi Beta Sigma is much bigger than two or three individuals who have a flawed perception of what Brotherhood truly is. Which is why, even though I share Alston-Smith’s frustration and I bear the same cross, I don’t agree with his last act of destroying his Zeta paraphernalia. If he couldn’t hold on to anything else from this situation, he should’ve had the courage to hold on to his organizational symbols and memorabilia. He earned the right have them and he too, should’ve protected and guarded them with his life. To him, Zeta should’ve been bigger than those girls on that campus. I question whether he truly loved Zeta Phi Beta Sorority from the beginning and whether his decision to seek and accept membership in the organization came from his heart. However, I do hope this situation gets rectified fairly and I hope that he will be able to find peace of mind in the end.

“God grant me the SERENITY to accept the things I cannot change, the COURAGE to change the things I can, and the WISDOM to know the difference.”

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GWUAlumna, 2009/02/20 at 1:00 AM

Some of my fellow Greeks are embarassing me greatly here. There is no way that you can be committed to the ideals of your organization and still speak so rudely about Devin, whether you agree with him or not. I do not agree with his choice, as Ive stated, but I do not see any reason to speak of him as a “freak” or any other derogatory term. You cannot effectively serve your community if you don’t respect its members (and Im talking about community as a whole, not the Greek community).

Just as the ladies of ZPhiB at my alma mater were concerned about their image, so should you be. Please, at least control your intolerance, bigotry, and insensitivity on this VERY public forum.

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gw, 2009/02/18 at 7:08 PM

I believe the gender theory subscribed to by those in the GLBT community is that gender is not a dichotomy but rather a sliding scale, where a person can be more feminine or less, but not just one or the other. That’s how Devin would prefer to dress and use the same pronouns as a male, but still feel some kinship and enjoy the company of women.

Devin would likely not have joind the sorority if he had not felt that the older sisters welcomed him and accepted him. It was a choice perhaps not everyone would have made, but the choice, according to DC law, was his to make.

Justin, 2009/02/18 at 3:55 PM:

I don’t feel confused. He knew he wouldn’t get into a fraternity but wanted in something. The sisters were friendly and welcoming at first. He probably thought they would bend the “finer womanhood” rules in his case..not far fetched with understanding people. He probably also knew that if they tried to throw the book at him they’d win, but he didn’t want it to come to that. Maybe was a bad call and too big of a gamble (to join). Plus sororities are lame. Good luck to Devin and transcripts bitch McGhee.

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jp, 2009/02/19 at 1:00 AM

As a member of the GLBTQ community and well versed in gender theory (and queer theory for you Wilchins fans out there), I, for the most part, agree with the ’small minded’ ones. Although I don’t think we can accurately speculate on Devin’s motivations, this does look like more of a case intended for political controversy rather than a genuine desire to stay in an organization that rejected him. Just like an organization intended for transgendered males does not want those who are not trans males attending their meetings, sororities have the right to not want a person who identifies as male in their organization when they are an all female group. However, it sounds like the sorority genuinely did not know that Devin intended to transition to being male; it looks more like Devin made the final decision on his transition while he was already in the sorority, and when he joined, he was probably unsure if he would transition. Once recognizing that he was male, he should have sat down and had a discussion with the sorority leaders and decided what the appropriate choice was in order to do what’s best for all parties involved. If the sisters who made him feel comfortable graduated, then where was the incentive to stay in a group for kinship? Staying was a move to buck the system. I don’t agree some of the harsher mudslinging above, but this is a one-sided article plagued by hearsay and this situation is clearly much more complicated than the article conveys.

Good luck.

It’s day two in the thinky bracket of our Manliest Workplace in D.C. tournament, where our nation’s capital’s think tanks take on its academics in a fight for utter non-femininity (see the full 64-workplace bracket here)! This time: Will those Libertarian scallywags over at the Cato Institute prove brawnier than the George Washington University’s spoiled brats? Wow! Neither of them sound very manly!

THE CATO INSTITUTE: When they’re not scamming for dates on the Atlasphere or posting on CityDesk, Libertarians do some pretty serious mental heavy lifting about, like, free will or something, I don’t really know. But do they have the will to employ more males than females? Let’s find out!

President Edward H. Crane (Male, 10 points)
Chairman Robert A. Levy (Male, 9 points)
Chairman Emeritus William A. Niskanen (Male, 8 points)
VP for Comm. Khristine Brookes (Female, ZERO)
VP for Development Lesley Albanese (Female, ZERO)
Dir. of Gov. Affairs Brandon Arnold (Male, 5 points)
Man. of Gov. Affairs Kurt Couchman (Male, 4 points)
Man. of Ext. Relations Nicole Kurokawa (Female, ZERO)
VP for Finance Bill Erickson (Male, 2 points)
VP Gene Healy (Male, 1 point)

As my high school economics teacher always said, there is no such thing as a free pass in the Manliest Workplace in D.C. Tournament (TINSTAAFPITMWIDCT)! With 39 points out of the manliest 55, the Cato Institute exceeds mere manliness. But is it enough to administer a smackdown of Rand-ian proportions to . . .

THE GEORGE WASHINGTON UNIVERSITY? My alma mater, which, despite what members of my extended family may tell you, is not Georgetown, boasts a 56 percent female student body. But what of the bodies in its top positions?

President Stephen Knapp (Male, 10 points)
Chairman of the Board W. Russell Ramsey (Male, 9 points)
Executive VP and Treasurer Louis H. Katz (Male, 8 points)
Executive VP for Academics Donald R. Lehman (Male, 7 points)
Senior VP and General Counsel Beth Nolan (Female, ZERO)
Senior VP Robert A. Chernak (Male, 5 points)
VP for Communications Michael Freedman (Male, 4 points)
VP for Development Laurel Price Jones (Female, ZERO)
VP Human Resources Val Monroe Berry (Male, 2 points)
Provost John F. Williams (Male, 1 point)

With 46 points out of a possible 55, the Colonials edge out Cato to go on to the second round. Tomorrow: Georgetown University’s fancy Catholics take on the Brookings Institution’s “left-liberal inclined” thinkers!

Photo by, appropriately, philosophygeek.

After the jump, I tally the argumentative stylings of this Prop 8 manifesto:

“I’m coming out of the closet: As a Californian, I voted yes on Proposition 8 to ban gay marriage.” Plus five. While some might find this comparison unsavory, I think it’s pretty snappy. Seduce the reader with the lede, and it’s smooth homophobic arguin’ thereafter.

“Not because of religious reasons and not because the Bible tells me to—rather, for entirely secular reasons. . . . The 1964 Civil Rights Act gave individual human beings of all colors the fundamental human rights to equality that our Creator endowed to all of us upon birth.” Minus six. Bad form to express ambivalence to religious argument then turn around and invoke the capital-C word.

“In contrast, the gay marriage movement is seeking rights for ‘couples,’ a vague societal concept that is formed much later in life and easily made or broken.” Plus one, only because I don’t care for marriage of any kind.

“Anti-discrimination laws in the workplace and laws that protect individual homosexuals against discrimination based on their sexual orientation are one thing. Pushing to legalize gay marriage and the rights of couples is quite new and quite another thing.” Minus one thing. Be specific, Clark! Win us over with the details!

“[T]heoretically, a gay person and I have the exact same right under California law: We can marry someone of the opposite sex who is older than 16 if we pay 40 bucks and get tested for HIV. That gay person can’t marry a man, but I can’t do it either. So am I being discriminated against? Is he?” Nice use of rhetorical questioning to prove a point. Next time, though, work on making the question more difficult to immediately and definitively answer (Hint: the answer is “yes”). Plus only two.

“Yes, I realize that this is odd back-door logic, but you see my point.” Minus 10. Come on, Clark! Don’t take the time to set up a perfectly unreasonable argument and then throw it away in the very next graf. Get your head in the game!

“They don’t want just the couples’ rights. They want the whole tamale, title of marriage and all.” Mmm, tamales. Plus ocho!

“So when gay rights activists want to pursue actual rights, let me know. Until then, I’ll be voting yes to ban gay marriage.” Plus one, if only because the final abrupt turn here made me giggle out loud. And I’m the last person to begrudge a throwaway joke at the kicker!

Point total: Even! I didn’t plan this, I swear!

* Juicy Campus has hit George Washington University. How do G.W. gossips compare to Georgetown’s finest? So far, Juciy Campus’ G.W. page seems to have a lot more nonsense on it. That’s a good thing, writes Travis of G.W. student blog The Colonialist: “I spent the weekend surfing the site a lot, putting up things about myself and my roommates. I’d like to openly admit to writing all 10 of the comments calling The GW Patriot racist. I’d be willing to bet that 80% of the posts on the site are done with the same innocent prank attitude. It’s a playground.”

* The New Gay blogger inspired, depressed by gay couples. TNG’s Jon surveyed the scene at the annual HRC fundraiser on Saturday: “Men were holding hands, women were kissing, and partners were snuggling up and laughing together at their tables,” Jon laments. “This is all wonderful of course, but it served as an in-your-face reminder that I’m currently partner-less.”

* Sex blogger dude Roissy in D.C. says the recession will mean better sex:

If a protracted and deep recession leads to the average woman cutting costs at the supermarket and steering clear of the high calorie packaged foodstuffs, it could mean more slender women and, consequently, better sex. . . . Hard times bring “hard” times.

Hmm. Maybe it will also teach Roissy a lesson in economics.

* Local blogger Jimbo makes an appearance at Maryland Renaissance Festival, hears best catcall ever: “Oooh, gurl, he’s dressed up like an evil sex sorceror.”

* Before the presidential face-offs resume tonight, let’s remember just how far we’ve come since last Thursday’s veep debates. Thanks to The Guardian’s Michelle Goldberg for highlighting Palin’s most nonsensical non-answer:

Say it ain’t so, Joe, there you go again pointing backwards again. You preferenced [sic] your whole comment with the Bush administration. Now doggone it, let’s look ahead and tell Americans what we have to plan to do for them in the future. You mentioned education, and I’m glad you did. I know education you are passionate about with your wife being a teacher for 30 years, and god bless her. Her reward is in heaven, right? … My brother, who I think is the best schoolteacher in the year, and here’s a shout-out to all those third graders at Gladys Wood Elementary School, you get extra credit for watching the debate.

Shit, is it possible to just place a [sic] around an entire quote? Or to have one floating over her head every time she speaks? Get on it, magic Jesus.

Photo by dumbonyc, in mourning of last night’s re-run of Gossip Girl. –XOXO, The Sexist

Yesterday, an unidentified G-Scene writer posted a long, rambling summer gossip recap filled with blind items about the big men and women on G.W.U.’s campus. The writer identified the offending students by hair color, sorority house, father’s profession, cocaine habit, weight gain, and proclivity for date rape. Juicy bits about the semi-anonymous students include being “forced to withdraw from school,” having a “Napoleon complex,” and being unable to “get laid in Thurston, supposedly the 2nd most sexually active dorm in the country.” One student was lauded with “nail[ing] two girls way out of his league”; another was accused of “smil[ing] at you with those same big, innocent eyes when she knowingly slept with your boyfriend last night.” The post also offered Fall semester predictions, including: “two psychos will fight over their mutual ex-lover, preventing him from as much as glancing at another girl.”

The 519-word post, impressively “Sent from [a] Verizon Wireless BlackBerry,” has since been removed from the site. The original title: “Where, oh where, has the G Scene gone?”

Where indeed?