By all media accounts, Meghan McCain was “schooled,” “taken to task,” “murdered,” “crucified,” and “pwned” by Paul Begala on Real Time With Bill Maher over the weekend. Let’s go to the tape!

As you can see, Begala schooled, punished, crucified and murdered McCain in some sort of live televised pornographic snuff film! Given the creepy terminology the media’s been throwing around here, I’m surprised no one has referred to the exchange as a “spanking” yet. Oh wait, yeah, somebody did.
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And to think, only this morning, Sady over at Tiger Beatdown and I were conversing via Internet about how we weren’t exaaaaaactly sure the entire extent of this “gag rule” we’d heard so much about (among other concerns—could you not say the word “abortion,” internationally?) but that we knew it was dumb and awful. Now Barack Obama has gone ahead and reversed the darn thing, so we get to find out exactly what it meant, now that it’s gone. The Guardian describes the gag rule as “a ban on federal funds to foreign family planning organisations that either offer abortions or provide information or counselling about abortion,” which should clear it up, once you get past the backwards British spellings.

George Bush instated the rule a little over eight years ago, on the 2001 anniversary of Roe v. Wade. Before him, Bill Clinton had reversed the rule that, before him, Ronald Reagan had thought up for the very first time. The Guardian calls it “the most contentious move of [Obama's] young administration,” which isn’t saying so much, and really, what could have been more predictable?

Prepare your stilettos, ladies: Today, Bush finalized his “Right of Conscience” get-out-of-work-free card for medical providers who just don’t feel like granting you access to your rights today. From the Washington Post:

The Bush administration today issued a sweeping new regulation that protects a broad range of health-care workers—from doctors to janitors—who refuse to participate in providing services that they believe violate their personal, moral or religious beliefs.

The controversial rule empowers federal health officials to cut off federal funding for any state or local government, hospital, clinic, health plan, doctor’s office or other entity if it does not accommodate employees who exercise their “right of conscience.”

Hey, I wonder who will make the most inane comment on this inane rule? Will it be President George W. Bush? Family Research Council President Tony Perkins? Does Sarah Palin have anything to say about this?

No, okay, let’s settle on Assistant Secretary of Health Joxel Garcia! “Many health-care providers routinely face pressure to change their medical practice—often in direct opposition to their personal convictions,” Garcia said.

Don’t you just hate it when the government comes a-knockin’ at your federally funded business which has been operating PERFECTLY WELL THANK YOU and says you change like EVERYTHING AROUND just to accommodate the constitutional rights of other people? Next they’ll be saying that bus drivers “have” to let black people ride in the front, or that poll workers “have” to let women vote. Thank you President Bush for protecting MY right to use American taxpayer’s money to deny those American taxpayers their own rights.

Wait a minute . . . based on this ruling, could a federal employee—say, I don’t know, Barack Obama—refuse to grant federal funding to one of these anti-contraception, anti-abortion medical providers based on his “right to conscience”? Something to look into!

[Also of interest: For this week's paper, I wrote a story about how pharmacists are denying birth control based on "conscience"---or, you know, whatever].

Once in a while, Fishbowl D.C. really bros out on us. Every year, we all must endure the Hottest Media Types contest and the shameless self-promotion surrounding it. But nearly each and every week, we fight another silent, creeping bro-dom from the Web site: The Fishbowl D.C. Photo Caption Contest.

This week’s contest was true to form: It featured a photo of President Bush appearing to prepare to slap the ass of a member of the U.S. Women’s Beach Volleyball Team, then asked readers to create a funny caption to illustrate the visual. (Note: This is at least the second in Fishbowl’s ass-slapping-themed photo series). These were the finalists:

May-Treanor shows President Bush her finesse, and he goes for the kill.

Now that’s what I call a weapon of mass destruction!

President Bush executes a ‘sneak-and-peak’ search warrant on the U.S. women’s volleyball team

I sure hope Laura is not looking.

It’s just like foreign policy and Iraq: Hit it and quit it!

Mr. President, I poop on your foreign policy!

That’s funny, Laura has the same tattoo.

Here…pull my finger, or do I pull yours?

Nothing yet, keep pushing.

“Now that’s what I call a weapon of mass destruction!” was the best D.C. media could do. Do we have only ourselves to blame? Or is there simply no way to resist the groan-inducing, frat-ready punchline when presented with month-and-a-half-old Presidential bikini shots and homosocial baseball embraces?

Last month, the Bush administration proposed a new rule from the Department of Health and Human Services. According to a New York Times op-ed penned by Hillary Rodham Clinton and Planned Parenthood president Cecile Richards, the little switcheroo would require that “any health care entity that receives federal financing—whether it’s a physician in private practice, a hospital or a state government—certify in writing that none of its employees are required to assist in any way with medical services they find objectionable.” Write Rodham and Richards:

Laws that have been on the books for some 30 years already allow doctors to refuse to perform abortions. The new rule would go further, ensuring that all employees and volunteers for health care entities can refuse to aid in providing any treatment they object to, which could include not only abortion and sterilization but also contraception.

Following the rule’s official announcement is a 30-day comment period before the rule goes into effect. Only two days remain in that period, which ends September 25. Planned Parenthood is urging those opposed to the rule to send a form letter to the Department of Health and Human Services voicing their opinion on the rule.

Letter after the jump.

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