Via Feministe: Advocates for Youth, in conjunction with Cure CVS Now, has created a petition to tell CVS to unlock the condom cases in its stores:

Call on CVS to unlock condom cases in all its stores. Locked condoms create a barrier to condom access, and could be a threat to public health. CVS’s practice of locking condom cases in minority neighborhoods is unacceptable, and we urge CVS to change its store policy. Walgreens and Rite-Aid prohibit condom lock-up: it’s time CVS did the same.

CVS claims to have unlocked all of the condoms in its Washington, D.C. stores. Last month, I wrote a story about how, despite the lip service, condom access in our CVS stores remains a pain in the ass. Unlocking the condoms and then placing them into click-boxes which are often broken—and sometimes actually locked!—isn’t good enough. Perhaps the petition should read: Unlock the condoms. For real this time, guys.

Sign the petition here.

Photo by Darrow Montgomery

Date Rape Anthem: Asher Roth’s “I Love College”

Relevant Lyrics:

I can’t tell you what I learned from school but
I could tell you a story or two, um
Yeah, of course I learned some rules
Like don’t pass out with your shoes on (get the sharpie)

And don’t leave the house ’til the booze gone (no we’re not leaving)
And don’t have sex if she’s too gone
When it comes to condoms put two on (trust me)
Then tomorrow night find a new jawn

Why It’s So Rapey: On the surface, Roth’s love-letter to undergraduate debauchery condemns date rape (”don’t have sex if she’s too gone”). So why would this Village Voice detractor call the Morrisville, Pa. rapper’s first album “nothing more than a soundtrack for date rape”?

Maybe it has something to do with the context of Roth’s one-line defense of consensual sex. At the beginning of his video for “I Love College,” Roth awakes on a fraternity house couch with a half-naked girl passed out on his lap. He doesn’t date-rape her: He just pushes her off onto the floor and starts drinking again. Later, when the party is in full-swing, Roth boasts that he drank the party house dry as he “danced my face off and had this one girl completely naked.” He doesn’t date-rape her: He just uses her naked body to boost his cred in a rap song.

Roth’s song does sets limits for consensual sex—don’t do her if “she’s too gone”—while simultaneously urging college students to push those limits by getting wasted and getting it on—in other words, doing her when she’s juuuust gone enough. In a fraternity house full of people partying naked until all the booze is gone, “she’s too gone” might start to seem pretty relative.

Meanwhile, one in four women will be sexually assaulted while in college, making the listener wonder how Roth learned the “rules” of college behavior. Roth knows now not to a) pass out with your shoes on, b) leave before the booze is gone, c) date-rape a girl, and d) have unprotected sex. Has he learned from experience?

Still, it’s enough for commenters on feminist blog Feministe to defend Roth against charges of racism and sexism: “He does the bare minimum of saying, ‘…don’t have sex if she’s too far gone,’ whatever his motives,” one writes. “I honestly didn’t expect that much because date rape is usually so fucking hilarious to frat boys.”

Welcome back to Sexist Beatdown, the weekly feature wherein Sady of Tiger Beatdown (white, heterosexual, cisgendered, American) and myself of The Sexist (white, heterosexual, cisgendered, American), chat. Except for last week, when we did not do it. My fault. BUT THIS WEEK WE ARE BACK, to discuss whether the feminist blogosphere is a form of digital colonialism, and if so, does that explain why feminist blogs are sometimes very boring? Ready, aim:

REFERENCED:

What If The Feminist Blogosphere Is A Form of Digital Colonialism, in which two lady bloggers, Brittany and Mandy, postulate that the feminist blogosphere may, in fact, be a form of digital colonialism.

An Apology From Brittany and Mandy, in which the aforementioned bloggers apologize for postulating that the feminist blogosphere may, in face, be a form of colonialism.

Well Allow Me To Retort, in which an alleged victim of said digital colonialism argues that she is not, in fact, a victim of digital colonialism.

Then: a series, in which alleged digital colonizer Feministe talks, and talks, and talks about whether it is, in fact, guilty of digital conolialism.

Our turn!

—

SADY: it is time for the discussion of why GUEST BLOGGING WILL DESTROY THE WORLD, apparently! did you even get through all the billions of words in the links i sent you? i have been re-reading them myself this very evening.

AMANDA: i got through many of them. i got very tired. let me start off by saying, i apologize for featuring your words in a weekly token guest blog. i did not mean to offend

SADY: you know, i will have to think that over. as a LARGER ELITE BLOG, i am aware that my decision to work with you is based on my own misguided naivete, so really, i have only myself to blame!

AMANDA: you’re white though, so i think it’s better? or maybe worse, i can’t keep it straight.

SADY: i am a white lady, yes. therefore this argument is not nearly so insulting to me as to many! but what frustrates me in the “what if the feminist blogosphere is a form of digital colonialism” post is that its one central point—women of color who guest post at Big Feminist Elite Blogs are being exploited and don’t know it somehow—is so very NOT REALLY THE POINT AT ALL, if you read it closely. it mainly seems to be about Big Feminist Blogs and how they are keeping people—like maybe the authors of this very post!—out of the spotlight, and guest blogging is… causing this? i do not know. what i do know, from reading feministe, is that one of the authors once had a fight with jessica valenti

AMANDA: i see. i read a lot of the stuff, but i got bored around the middle of the feministe series.

SADY: awww

AMANDA: yeah, i’m sorry. i did get a little frustrated at how vilified the two women who wrote the post were by these other blogs that they had implicated in the post, to the point where they felt the need to write a long and excessively delicate, i thought, apology on it

SADY: yeah, i sort of read through that apology but i kind of was not able to keep my attention on it. i should say that i originally found the post through Shark-Fu’s response.

AMANDA: Shark-Fu’s response was great, and actually this whole exercise has brought up a criticism that I’ve had about some of the larger group blogs for some time, which is that they can be very, very boring sometimes. regardless of the identity politics of the writers, most of which i’m not really familiar with—this being on the internet and all—i think that the smaller individual blogs are where great voices are really cultivated and stranger issues are addressed, and when they’re filtered into these larger monoliths i think a lot of that gets lost. (except for Shark-Fu, whose voice can never be silenced). take jezebel, for example, which i like—after reading that blog for a couple years, it just begins to feel very safe. though there are points of daring writing by some of the women who blog there, i wish there was a little more branching out in terms of content and voice.

SADY: yeah, i definitely agree with you about jezebel. although i think some of jezebel brings up the issue of maybe Blogging While Corporate, in that a lot of the writers I definitely sought out on that site were lost or started posting a lot less after they were moved to “part-time.” but i agree that single-person blogs, where you really get to watch one voice grow and develop and chart out the areas of its obsession, are usually more fascinating to me.

AMANDA: definitely. also, the very sad loss of Pot Psychology. i think one of the problems with blogs is that they are for people to just talk and talk and talk (see: this very blog post), and so these areas of opinion are worked over and over again, which draws a lot of conversation, but which doesn’t always advance the scope of the topics we’re actually talking about. which is the sad fallout of the fall of dead tree journalistic outfits i suppose.

SADY: ha, yeah. i also think that this one post we’re talking about now has some interesting stuff to say, but that stuff is (ironic!) drawn from critiques, largely framed by ladies of color, that they didn’t link to directly except through WEIRDLY ACADEMIC FOOTNOTES BECAUSE THEY ARE BORING, sorry. but the questions of who gets “authority,” who gets to be “representative,” and how that lines up with the class or racial privilege you have, i definitely think are worth investigating. i mean, blogs are for talking and talking and talking, but are we also listening and listening and listening? and to whom? and what are we doing with what we learn there?

AMANDA: i thought their original post was very interesting, and often right, and also wrong, and that the bigger blogs (i suppose i am only talking about feministe here) did a sort of cop-out move to focus only on the criticisms that were easy to shoot down. (not only . . . largely). i think one of the very interesting aspects of the original post was that it made the point that, hey, the Internet is great because everybody has a voice, but actually, there are so many voices on the Internet that the little blog representative of one aspect of feminism is not heard if it’s not picked up by the larger sites. so really, no, not everyone has a voice.

SADY: true enough, and there may be a lot of factors (like, if someone is writing from a marginalized perspective within feminism—if they are a trans feminist, or a feminist sex worker, or a lady of color) that may cause people to view those as… i don’t want to impute ill will to anybody, but let’s say those are viewed as “specialized” whereas if you are writing from a more privileged place you get to present your concerns (and have them accepted) as “universal”

AMANDA: definitely

SADY: am i saying any of this right? i am pretty sure i am not!

AMANDA: yeah, and i wish that jezebel and some of the other blogs would touch on more glbtq stuff sometimes, but they’re allowed to define their content area as they please. on the other hand, they’re in this position to do so much interesting stuff that i think a lot of times they don’t take the opportunity to. and part of that is because they’re getting cut, they’re overworked, underpaid, etc.

SADY: yeah, right, and here’s where i think the questions about money and audience and status and whatever get very interesting. because if you’re getting paid, let alone paid WELL, to be a feminist blogger (and are dependent for your paycheck on the goodwill of a dude who is not precisely known for being warm and cuddly, in jezebel’s case) then… well, you have to write in a way that will capture your audience’s attention and justofy those ad purchases on your site, and that might lead to the kind of “safe” stuff you were talking about, where you go back to things that you know will work and don’t get to have the same sense of adventure as a blog without those concerns. which is not to say that i don’t get a lot of news from jezebel! or even that i think jezebel is what they were talking about rather than feministing, feministe, shakesville, which i’m told make far less money, and which i also read.

AMANDA: yeah. i think it’s just like any other capitalist industry, really, it’s a meritocracy but it’s not, and it’s important to remember that. at the same time … hell, it offers a lot of opportunity for a lot of discussion, and that’s great! though very very extended discussions about Why We Are Not Racist i’m pretty much over with for now. thankfully, once the pageviews subside the blogs will move on to something else.

SADY: yes, thank god for the Internet: proving once and for all that if you just stop paying attention to some people, they will go away. and then maybe you can actually pay attention to people for doing something good! like being talented! it’s sad how much easier it is to talk and talk forever about someone you don’t like.

AMANDA: it is sad, but that is the internet in a nutshell. it’s also easy to come up with reasons you don’t like something that you might even have good things to say about.

SADY: it’s also easy to say purposefully inflammatory things to get attention. I DON’T LIKE NUNS OR BABIES. Next baby I see: I’m punching it, HARD. see how easy that is?

AMANDA: piece of cake.

* In case you missed it, George H. W. Bush tells a really terrible joke about mean, ugly pro-choice ladies (above). Bill Clinton’s response, though: Kinda funny [via Feministe].

* Tiger Beatdown offers a feminist critique of John Updike‘ classic short, “A & P.”

* Who’s the hottest Congressional Freshman? (My pick: Tom Perriello, 35, Democrat from Virginia, Romantic Status: Single). I smell slideshow! [via Huffington Post].

* American Apparel CEO / serial “alleged” employee rapist Dov Charney is also very funny, self-aware, and helpful! His latest ad, which features him in bed with one of his female employees, is accompanied by the following text:

Meet Dov Charney. “Women initiate most domestic violence, yet out of a thousand cases of domestic violence, maybe one is involving a man. And this has made a victim of culture out of women.”

Yep, “maybe” one, out of a thousand, even involves a man. The rest are domestic catfights between women who dutifully carry on the tradition of clowning each other in order to claim “victim” when they, like, sue their bosses for reaching beneath their neon triangle-top bikinis.

* Related: Don’t try to rape a raccoon, it may bite off your penis.

* The New Gay writes in defense of public displays of affection, despite the consequences:

Yesterday after brunch, my boyfriend and I decided to nap off a hangover in Kalorama Park. So on a perfect afternoon I was lying with my head on my boyfriends stomach while his hand rested on mine. And thats when the trio of 13 year-olds starting calling us “gaylord fuckers” from all the way across the park.

* Reproductive Reality Check attempts the impossible: Advising “adolescents to make wise sexual choices.”

* Erin Niumata for Ladyblog doesn’t think the premise of upcoming Kate Hudson/Ann Hathaway BFF wedding-off comedy Bride Wars looks very funny. “The movie is ostensibly a comedy. But is watching two intelligent, grown women being verbally abusive and playing nasty tricks on one another actually funny? No. It’s tragic. . . . True friendship, like marriage, means supporting one another, overcoming petty jealousies and being there through sickness and health.” I don’t think the movie looks funny, either, but I’m not sure a film about two “true friends” “supporting one another” would be a laugh riot, either.

* Feminist book corner: Feministe reviews So Many Ways to Sleep Badly by Mattilda Bernstein Sycamore.

* XX Factor’s Melinda Henneberger goes to the mall:

I wound up spending my Friday night at the Montgomery Mall. And seeing for myself what deep trouble we are in: No one was there, shoppers or salespeople, to the point that I began to have horror-flick fantasies. (Oh no, it’s the Rapture and we’ve been left behind at the Montgomery Mall? How humiliating.) Because no one can afford new inventory, it was also like a visit to the Island of Misfit Toys (and Sweaters).

Photo via trialsanderrors.

* Richard Cizik, the VP for Government Affairs for The National Association of Evangelicals, stepped down yesterday after making comments on NPR “that he backs same-sex civil unions” [via Shakesville].

* Jezebel—along with the rest of the Gawker universe—gets a massive face-lift to “increase pageviews.” Agh, what? But we’re still working on our redesign that will shamelessly appropriate your model!

* In other NPR news, ye olde tyme radio content  has aborted an interview with an abortion provider, Feministe reports.

* How is “Hot” Rod Blagojeblahblah like Sarah Palin? Now in cartoon form! [Via WaPo'sTom Toles, who just can't quit her].

* Tiger Beatdown beats down the continuing coverage of ladies drinking and whatever the fuck a “ladette” is.

* Can I “make” this hot little item about Tim Gunn coming to D.C. this weekend “work”? Eh, I guess not. He’ll be at Halo tonight.

Photo by trialsanderrors.

* Daily Intel has some answers on why Alex Kuczynski’s New York Times spread on her experience with a surrogate mother made her out to be a “vain,” “self-centered” “Lady of the Manor” (really, check out the photo that ran with the story, it’s a doozy). From NYT Public Editor Clark Hoyt’s column:

Kuczynski, who said she disagreed with her editors over the photographs before publication, said she felt they were “incendiary” and distracted from the story. Hilling, clearly portrayed in the article as middle class, described the porch as “the ugliest part” of her renovated, 135-year-old home. She said she felt the photo of her was “contrived.” Gerald Marzorati, the editor of the magazine, acknowledged the “upstairs, downstairs” quality of the photos but said they were not set up to be that way.

So, did the NYT distort the situation, or can Kuczynski just not admit to her own insufferable personality?

* Feministe debuts a new feature: Blame feminism! This time, blame feminism for women drinking.

* Via Ars Technica: Everyone’s favorite cartoon siblings, Bart and Lisa, get exploited in a “child porn” scandal.

* Feministing highlights a douchy commercial

* Slate’s Bonnie Goldstein gives employers advice on how to spin holiday layoffs. Hey, Goldstein, don’t give them any ideas!

Photo via trialsanderrors.

* Via Feministe: Taking your children to vote with you is adorable; homeless voters find obstacles at the polls.

* Slate’s Trey Patterson remembers MTV video countdown “Total Request Live”, set to take a “hiatus” this November:

TRL’s signature moment came to pass one Thursday in July of 2001, when pop diva Mariah Carey dropped in unexpectedly. She entered pushing a cart filled with ice-cream treats, wore a pair of shorts connoting assertive depravity, and gave voice to existential frustrations: “You’re my therapy session right now, Carson.” Her behavior was sufficiently erratic that the crowd couldn’t squeal for it with any real consistency.

* Meanwhile, Meghan McCain blogs her “Last Call with Carson Daly” experience on McCain Blogette.

* Elsewhere on Slate, Josh Patner recaps fashion week’s “re-envisioning” of the “American woman.

* Jezebel updates you on the aftermath of DJ AM and Travis Barker’s plane crash: exes Mandy Moore and Shanna Moakler at bedsides; Lindsey Lohan and Samantha Ronson blog; Jamie Kennedy, Lauren Conrad, and Kathy Griffin sound off.

* Via BYT via Gawker: Anderson Cooper’s (alleged) lovers: a primer.

* The New Gay CANNOT CONTROL THE VOLUME OF ITS VOICE.

Don’t pre-emptively tell me you have a small penis.

Don’t text me on a Tuesday night after midnight “I could totally eat ur puss now if u r interwssetted.” I’m not.

Don’t ask if it’s okay to fuck me up the ass because you don’t have condoms and are “scared” of getting me pregnant.

*Jill at Feministe adds her own dating don’ts:

Don’t tell me, on a first date, about the time you pooped your pants on the Jenny Jones Show when you were performing the commercial outro with your Rick James cover band. Don’t tell me that on a tenth date. Just keep that one to yourself.

* Protesters stage bed-in on steps of Capitol:

Kayne West’s “Gold Digger” blared from the steps in front of the Capitol Thursday as protesters dressed in bathrobes and slippers danced around a bed and threw money. Oil Change USA came to speak out against government’s “all too cozy relationship” with oil companies in the wake of the sex-and-drug scandal reported last week by the Interior Department inspector general. “Literally in bed with big oil” was the theme of this protest, noted with their prop of a man and woman laying in bed together, surrounded by money [via Examiner].

Catch up on the Minerals Management Service scandal here.

* Via Feministing: Bitch Magazine was going to have to fold, but now they’re not. You can still give them money, though.

* Brightest Young Things points you to Seattle’s bikini baristas:

Baristas in spike heels, lingerie, fish nets and other skin-revealing attire are attracting long lines—and large tips. . . . When servers started wearing pasties at a shop called Espresso Gone Wild west of Seattle, however, some residents decided the caffeinated provocateurs had taken it too far. [via NPR]

* Aaaand, drum roll: Fish swims into penis.