* Via BLOgT: Even ex-gays are allowed to wear fabulous scarves.

* Feministing points to a Brightest Young Things piece on how some LGBT folks define queer virginity.

* At Tiger Beatdown, Silvana reacts to a piece in the Washington Post about a victim of trauma who built an anti-terrorism career out of her fascination with "evil and violence":

Ironically enough, reading an article about someone else’s fascination with terror caused me to feel a little terror of my own. What if this explained it all? What if my fascination with detention and corrections, and compulsion to fight for people who are locked up, was all a complicated outgrowth of my history of trauma? I was harassed almost every day as a teenager, groped, assaulted, and in my late teens and early twenties raped repeatedly by a boyfriend. I was surrounded by people who had done bad things to me. But instead of being repulsed by criminals, rapists, terrorists, I identify with them. Because, just like women are the sex class, to be the recipient, the dumping-ground for male aggression, men of color and especially mentally ill men of color are the dumping ground for white male authoritarian state-sanctioned violence.

* At Jezebel, Irin Carmon interviews former staffers about The Daily Show's boys club. Head to the comments to read a deluge of defenses of this "progressive" product with a gender problem.

* Tracy Clark-Flory on a man who allegedly hacked into over 100 computers in search of private sex tapes and photos (44 of the victims were underage):

When we come across stories about violations of people's sexual privacy, whether on the news or in our personal lives, there's a tendency to go, Oh, well, that was stupid of them — they shouldn't have filmed that, they shouldn't have taken that photo, etc. And then you feel a bit safer, thanks to your superior wisdom, which tells you that you should not let your boyfriend keep a copy of your homemade sex tape and that you should decline that guy's request for a sexy photo (and maybe you even follow this advice, most of the time). The reality, though, is that precautions—no matter how sensible, no matter how self-righteously we trumpet them—are no match for someone set on exploitation.

According to Quinlan's analysis, it doesn't make sense that Kagan is gay:

President Obama's nominee for Supreme Court Justice, Elena Kagan, has steadfastly refused to divulge her sexual orientation, despite a CBS News blog item claiming that Kagan is known in Harvard circles as a lesbian.  In response, the White House blasted CBS News for its "lies" and CBS pulled the item off its website.

But if Kagan is a lesbian, why would the White House insist that she is not when Obama made gay rights part of his platform for change?  In issuing this month's gay pride presidential proclamation, Obama stated he is "proud to be the first President to appoint openly LGBT candidates to Senate-confirmed positions in the first 100 days of an Administration."

So Kagan and her alleged lesbianism should not be an issue for the White House or the Democrats, who control the Senate vote for Kagan's judicial nomination.

And it doesn't make sense that she's not gay:

Some of Kagan's friends have told Politico that she is frustrated by the persistence of the gay rumors, but "worried that denying them could imply some anti-gay prejudice." But this makes no sense either-isn't the whole point of the gay rights movement to allow people to be free to declare who they really are, without stigma? If the only way for a middle-aged woman to declare that she is straight is to marry a man, wouldn't that be a step backward, and not forward, in liberal gender politics?

THEREFORE:

There is, however, another possibility. Could it be that Kagan is ex-gay?  That would explain the White House insistence on Kagan's heterosexuality and Kagan's silence about her past sexual preference.

That's right, Obama has just nominated the woman who will be our nation's first closeted ex-gay Supreme Court justice. No other explanation makes sense. Now, we must work to make Kagan our first openly ex-gay Supreme Court justice. On that day, our country will finally grant heterosexuals the same respect it gives gay people:

As an ex-gay myself, I sympathize with Kagan and the Obama administration.  I have had to face taunts, threats, and phone calls to my employer demanding that I be fired.  There is no hate like that directed against the ex-gay community. And the President knows it.

. . . So Ms. Kagan, do not be afraid to come out of the closet.  Regardless of our political differences, ex-gays like me, and maybe you, should be able to live openly just like when we were homosexuals.

Via Metro Weekly: This June, the "Advisory Committee on Blood Safety and Availability" intends to commence reconsidering an FDA policy that's been in place since 1985: The one "prohibiting men who have had sex with another man 'even one time since 1977' from donating blood."

Three blood-y groups—The American Association of Blood Banks, America's Blood Centers, and the American Red Cross—oppose the FDA's lifetime ban; in 2006, the orgs announced that they consider it ''medically and scientifically unwarranted.'' In place of the lifetime ban, the organizations recommended that gay men who "have not had sex with another man for more than a year" should be eligible to donate. Does this mean that ex-gays may finally be able to contribute to our blood supply?

Photo by Abhishek Jacob,Creative Commons Attribution License 2.0

* Christopher Hitchens: Ex-gay, kind of! In his forthcoming memoir, the writer who does not think this is very funny refers to his continued sexual relations with men—past his regular gay dalliances at boarding school—as a "relapse":

''Every now and then, even though I was by then fixed on the pursuit of young women, a mild and mildly enjoyable relapse would occur and I suppose that I can 'claim' this ... of two young men who later became members of Margaret Thatcher's government. For this very reason I can't really give any more names.''

* In related news: Noted ex-gay activist goes wild with male prostitute on European vacation; claims he hired the guy to "lift luggage." Indeed!

* Hey Epiphora on the bizarre world of masturbation infocenter HealthyStrokes.com:

I’ll give this guy a couple ounces of credit—he is generally okay with young people masturbating, and he didn’t laugh at a girl who said she gets turned on by the cries of babies. But his views on female masturbation (derived, clearly, from absolutely nothing legitimate) are so fucked up, so irritating, and so detrimental, that I want to punch him in the face.

* Geek feminists: check out Geek Feminism's recently-completed "Ask A Geek Feminist" Q-and-A series and find out how to be "an ally to an OMG hot girl!1!!!!" and address tokenism in everyday life.

*Andrea Grimes of Heartless Doll asks if you can forget how to have sex.

* Congratulate From Austin to A&M on graduating to a level of feminist blogging where assholes come onto her blog and accuse her of being sexist for calling out other people for being sexist. Every feminist blogger experiences this special milestone!

Photo via George Eastman House

Last week, Montgomery County high schoolers brought home an extra special science lesson with their report cards: A flier from Parents and Friends of Ex-Gays (PFOX) informing parents that their gay kids don't have to stay that way.

The flier, which claimed to be in the business of promoting "diversity for the ex-gay community," contained a series of "scientific" ruminations on human sexuality. It's all good, but this is my favorite part (emphasis mine):

According to mainstream psychological associations, there are no replicated scientific studies to support that a person can be born "gay." No "gay gene" or gay center of the brain has been found. No medical test exists to determine if a person is homosexual. Sexual orientation is based on feelings and is a matter of self-affirmation and public declaration.

The gay center of the brain: The final frontier.

So, while the world's most brilliant scientists are busy mining the deepest recesses of gay brains in search of that elusive chocolaty center, I've got a related question for PFOX: How many real, live ex-gay people has PFOX discovered at this point?

PFOX claims that the ex-gay community grows by the thousands each year. But last time I checked, PFOX's ranks were overflowing with "everstraights"—heteros who say they have never been gay, not even once in college—and positively hurting for members who had really, truly successfully prayed the gay away. I can only conclude that the world's ex-gays are all on a very long vacation to somewhere just out of our reach—the gay center of the brain, perhaps!—sipping on Mai Tais and having enthusiastic heterosexual sex with their spouses, far away from the uncomfortable glare of scientific fact.

—

Parents and Friends of Ex-Gays & Gays (PFOX) promotes diversity for the ex-gay community. Ex-gays demonstrate that those with unwanted same-sex attractions can seek help and information on overcoming their feelings. All individuals deserve the right to self-determination and happiness based on their own needs, and not on the needs of others. PFOX supports tolerance for everyone regardless of sexual orientation.

PFOX can provide: resources for parents and students, ex-gay speakers for your school or club, books for your school library, and brochures on same-sex attractions, bullying and tolerance.

Who are ex-gays?

Every year thousands of people with unwanted same-sex attractions make the personal decision to leave a gay identity through gender affirming programs, including therapy, faith based ministries, and other non-judgmental environments. Their decision is one only they can make. However, there are those in society who refuse to respect an individual's right to self-determination. Consequently, formerly gay men and women are subjected to verbal and physical attacks simply because they dare to exist. Ex-gays and their supporters are denied equal access and support, forcing them to remain silent for fear of negative reactions and disapproval, while gays are affirmed for their decision to come out as gay. Former homosexuals do not think something is wrong with them because they decided to fulfill their heterosexual potential by overcoming unwanted same-sex attractions.

But aren't some people born "gay"?

According to mainstream psychological associations, there are no replicated scientific studies to support that a person can be born "gay." No "gay gene" or gay center of the brain has been found. No medical test exists to determine if a person is homosexual. Sexual orientation is based on feelings and is a matter of self-affirmation and public declaration.

If only one part of you has gay feelings, should your whole life be gay identified?

Many people would agree that just because one part of you feels a certain way, it doesn't mean you entire identity is that way. Having feelings of same-sex attraction may make you feel different. We all feel the need to fit in and be accepted. But no one should identify themselves based on sexual feelings alone,. There is more to your identity than your sexual attractions. Thousands of ex-gay men and women had those very same feelings when they were in school. You may have heard, "You must be gay!" But no one should be labeled based on the perception of others. Get smart! Explore the origins of your same-sex attractions. Why do I have these feelings? Where did they come from? The decision of a prom date, a car, or whether to super-size those fries can be based on a feeling, but important decisions should not be made on feelings alone. In order to make an educated decision, you have to be informed! Sexuality develops over time. It is not necessary to label yourself today.

Find out more at www.pfox.org !!!

(These materials are neither sponsored nor endorsed by the Board of Education of Montgomery County, the superintendent, or this school.)

Illustration by Robert Ullman.

Margaret C. Hemenway, identifying herself as a D.C. Public Schools parent, claims to have filed a complaint with Chancellor Michelle Rhee over her seven-year-old child's "sense of innocence." At what exact moment was the first-grader's innocence whisked away from her, never to be returned? The moment little Hemenway's teacher at Tenleytown's Horace Mann Elementary allegedly announced to her first-grade class that she was planning to marry a woman. Think. Of. The. Children.

Hemenway recounts the horror for Parents and Friends Of Ex-gays (PFOX):

Our first-grader astonished her father at the end of the past school year as he dropped her off at our local Washington DC public school, Horace Mann Elementary, where he had attended school in the early 60s. She relayed to him that her teacher announced her impending marriage—to another woman—to the class. Following her revelation, this teacher encouraged questions from the children.

Our daughter also mentioned a book the teacher read aloud, "Uncle Bobby's Wedding,” about two male “gay” guinea pigs, promoted by the Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual Transgender Lobby for children. Since homosexual activists cannot reproduce their own children, recruitment to their cause (especially at a young age, before parents have raised such sensitive and controversial topics with their children) is essential to the political agenda of promoting homosexuality and “gay” marriage.

Nowadays, most parents are resigned to the fact that a gay guinea pig will inevitably steal their daughter's sense of innocence, and there's nothing they can do about it. Not Hemenway. Hemenway began the slow bureaucratic process of getting innocence restored:

Most parents would not consider a Q&A session with first-graders about homosexual marriage as an "age-appropriate" discussion.  After our daughter’s revelation, we lodged a complaint with Chancellor Rhee's office, requesting an investigation, and asking what department in the DC Government we can appeal to for restoration of our child's sense of innocence?   We are still awaiting feedback from the school on whether there is a Teacher’s “Code of Conduct” and what D.C. policy is on “age appropriate” sexuality education.

By the way, when does "sexuality education" finally become "age appropriate" for D.C. schoolkids? According to Hemenway, "There are sound reasons that sexuality topics are not generally introduced in school until fifth grade, at an age when some children begin to ask how babies are made."

Image via Blue Stone Graphics, Creative Commons Attribution License 2.0

In 2007, Parents & Friends of Ex-Gays & Gays (PFOX) volunteer David Elliott claimed that he was assaulted at the fair's ex-gay booth by an unidentified gay man. For this year's requisite PFOX confrontation, Elliott cornered Jay Fisette, an openly gay member of the Arlington County board. The confrontation had all the elements of a classic PFOX press release: Several ex-gay volunteers, one prominent gay man, and plenty of allegations of anti-ex-gay discrimination.

According to a piece he wrote in the Christian News Wire, Elliott approached Fisette to rehash the details of the 2007 incident. "I wanted to let you know that I was hit when I was working at this booth in a previous year," he wrote. Fisette allegedly replied, "What happened to you wasn’t good, but neither is your message."

Elliott pressed Fisette. "Everyone has their own opinion," he said. To which Fisette allegedly replied: "No."

Then, Fisette realized that he was surrounded by the alternate opinion. "Fisette then looked at us and inquired, 'Are you guys ex-gays?'" Elliott wrote. "Both myself and the other PFOX volunteer affirmed that yes, we are ex-gays. Fisette shook his head and hurriedly walked away."

The incident with Fisette raised a few questions for Elliott:

"When Jay Fisette, an elected government official, says 'No,' does he mean that I do not have a right to my own opinion of not accepting the 'gay' label for myself?

"Or does he mean that he refuses to dialogue on the ex-gay issue?"

"Does Mr. Fisette also believe that gay groups do not have a right to their own opinion?"

"Or is the right of self-determination permitted only to gays like him?"

"Does Fisette agree that his county's sexual orientation law also protects ex-gays?"

I have a call out to Fisette's office, in the hopes of finally getting some answers to PFOX's rhetorical line of questioning concerning a largely hypothetical sexual orientation. I'll update when I hear back.

Remember Parents & Friends of Ex-Gays & Gays (PFOX), that rag-tag group of heterosexual activists that just can't seem to find many "ex-gay" people to advocate for? Last we heard from PFOX, the group was celebrating a court decision which said that "ex-gays"—people who were once gay, but are now totally heterosexual—should be covered under the District's sexual orientation protections. PFOX was psyched with the ruling, because it meant that the group could begin to capitalize on protections that have been afforded to the LGBT community (hate crime legislation, anti-discrimination policies, etc.) and open up the possibility of suing on behalf of persecuted "ex-gays."

I've never seen nor heard of an "ex-gay hate crime," but I assume it would involve screaming epithets like "curse you, former homosexual!" while committing an assault, or refusing to hire an employee based on the fact that he doesn't have sex with men like he used to. Alas, the world may never know: Yesterday, PFOX posted a blog entry encouraging supporters to help oppose hate crime legislation in Texas.  A couple of months ago, PFOX was ecstatic that "ex-gays" would finally be protected against discrimination. Now, the group is rallying opposition to those same protections across the country. What gives?

As I detailed in a story a few weeks ago, PFOX doesn't so much advocate for ex-gays as it does advocate against gays. The group's main interest is sabotaging the acceptance of homosexuality by arguing that sexual orientation is changeable, nobody has to be "gay forever," and "ex-gay is okay." PFOX will use whatever tactics available to them to protest the gay movement. When it suits the group's interests, PFOX will celebrate sexual orientation protections. When it doesn't, PFOX will rally the troops by penning sentences like this:

"Oppose Effort to Include Anti-ExGay Hate Crimes in Annual Defense Authorization Bill"

Woo, that is a doozy! Let's try to pick that one apart, shall we? According to PFOX, hate crime laws protecting gays and lesbians themselves constitute hate crimes against ex-gays. Because if you tell people that they can't beat up people because they're gay, you discriminate against the people who beat up gay people because they are gay! It is you who are committing the "anti-ex-gay hate crime," because if people aren't allowed to hate gay people, how will PFOX ever find any ex-gay people? Shame on you all!

Quoting liberally from Neil Whitehead's book, "My Genes Made Me Do It!," PFOX argues that there are plenty of "ex-gays" living outwardly as homosexuals that don't want to identify as ex-gay—because they just want to be straight. Writes Whitehead:

At this point the natural question arises – if there are so many "ex-gays" in the population, where are they? Most readers will never have met any. It is no wonder the GLB community is very skeptical about whether real change occurs, though the best estimate of the researchers involved is that it does, and spontaneously, without clinical intervention, just in the normal course of life.

According to Whitehead, many "ex-gays" choose not to live openly as "ex-gay" because they "have some shame about their previous life," because the identity "may be destructive of a present relationship," or because "they will be relentlessly and openly attacked and crossexamined by activist members of the SSA community."

So, ex-gays don't want to identify as "ex-gay" for the same reason they want to become "ex-gay" in the first place: because people don't like gay people. For ex-gays, the solution to people not liking gay people is to (a) will their way to heterosexuality; (b) pray for divine intervention into their sex life; or (c) stop having sex entirely.

The problem of people-who-don't-like-gay-people plagues both gays and "ex-gays," of course. Gay activists have come up with a pretty good solution for this: they work to eliminate the stigma against homosexuality instead of never having good sex ever again. "Ex-gay" activist groups, like PFOX, actually work to promote "ex-gay" stigma: They encourage people to not like gay people, and to become not-gay people, which in turn makes people not like "ex-gay" people, because they used to be gay.

PFOX can't find more ex-gays because of PFOX. Since the group represents a minority of people who are driven to silence by the shame over their homosexuality and, uh, political differences with the gay community, PFOX is in the privileged position of providing a voice to the voiceless. While the gay community works to eliminate shaming its members' sexuality, the stigma against "ex-gays" actually benefits the "ex-gay" activists. When "ex-gays" aren't talking, PFOX gets to say whatever happens to serve their own interests.

Of course, PFOX's self-interest doesn't explain why individuals would choose to leave a life of shame and good sex for a life of shame and bad sex. I have to think that's another reason why I can't find any ex-gays around here.

"Remnant International Public Relations Division" must have heard that I'm hot on the "ex-gay" beat now. R.I.P. relations (ouch) just sent me a press release offering up Cornelius Williams, author of "Transition: From Homosexual to Preacher," for an interview. (Sorry, PFOX: This ex-gay is based in Chicago). Unfortunately, I am ill-equipped to provide Williams with the requested "Possible Television Interview" in which I would "interview the author and air the story encoded in the below press release." I can, however, attest to the fact that this press release appears to be written in some sort of code:

The homosexuals in this community refused to allow the author to speak, saying "his message is a message of hate." They also acused the author of preaching "reparative theropy" which they say does not exist acording to phycologists.

Okay! More of that, after the jump!

Fwd: Press Release: You Want to Read This!

To: Television Producers, News Reportors and Anchors

From: Remnant International Public Relations Division

Re: Press Release

CC: Possible Television Interview

Hello,

I am sending you this press release to see if there is a way you can interview the author and air the story encoded in the below press release in your area.

Recently there has been some protests against this book in Oak Park Illinois, a suburb of Chicago, where the author was refused venue for his book discussion. The homosexuals in this community refused to allow the author to speak, saying "his message is a message of hate." They also acused the author of preaching "reparative theropy" which they say does not exist acording to phycologists. (Read Below)

**FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE**

EDITORS: For review copies or interview requests, contact:

Promotional Services Department (Holy Remnant International Ministries)
Tel: 773-614-9971
Fax: 773-542-7140
Email:prophetcw@gmail.com

(When requesting a review copy, please provide a street address.)

Transition: From Homosexual to Preacher

Cornelius Williams Shares Life Story in Tell-all Memoir

CHICAGO – With the gay rights movement gaining momentum daily and gay marriage slowly becoming a reality state by state, the debate still exists about whether or not homosexuality is the result of choice or genetics. In his provocative new book, Transition: From Homosexual to Preacher (published by AuthorHouse), Cornelius Williams shares his journey from homosexuality and sex addiction to reformed man of God.

Transition: From Homosexual to Preacher chronicles Williams’ life from childhood through his early 20s. Growing up he endured rape, anger, alcohol abuse, mental breakdowns and a severe sex addiction, all of which he writes about with raw, honest detail. He shares the string of rejections he experienced as a child; rejections which he believes eventually drove him to homosexuality.

After candidly expressing the details of his painful past, Williams reveals his dramatic journey to what he calls “reformation, restoration and joy.” He chronicles how his faith in Jesus Christ helped him to set forth on the path to redemption and shed his former ways. When he realized he wanted to pursue a career in ministry, Williams knew he could no longer live in denial of his sexual impulses. He shares how his aunt, Joan, helped him change his life and “live for God completely.”

“Transition: From Homosexual to Preacher is not a book of judgment, but a book detailing [my] personal experiences while living the life of homosexuality,” Williams clarifies. “It provides the riveting details of transition from this life.”

Cornelius Williams is an ordained preacher and prophet, author, singer and motivator whose journey began on Chicago’s west side. He considers his mission one of helping those seeking restoration in the areas of abuse, homosexuality and rape. His motivation is his own testimony of transition, which gave him the courage to be transparent about his past. “If it takes my whole life helping one person be free, then I will spend the rest of my whole life doing it,” Williams writes. Transition: From Homosexual to Preacher is his first published book.

For more information, please visit www.hripn.org.

AuthorHouse is the premier book publisher for emerging, self-published authors. For more information, please visit www.authorhouse.com.

###

Cornelius Williams

Remnant International

Press Relations

PO Box 440389

Chicago, Illinois 60644

e-mail: prophetcw@gmail.com

If you do, pick up the phone right now and CALL ME (202-332-2100). If you don't, read my cover story this week on why a dearth of local ex-gays poses a logistical problem for the area's biggest ex-gay advocacy organization. BONUS: A discussion of fun new sexual orientation term, "everstraight"!

Illustration by Robert Ullman

Are you ex-gay? Do you know anyone who is ex-gay? Do you know anyone who is ex-ex-gay? Do you live in the Washington, D.C. area? Then I'd love to hear from you!

Call me at (202) 332-2100 ext. 269, or drop me a line at ahess@washingtoncitypaper.com.

Tosin Abasi was walking down the street in the East Village when he ran into New York magazine. Abasi’s outfit had caught the eye of a reporter looking for a subject for the mag’s fashion blog, the Cut. Abasi obliged, and proceeded to detail his street style for the camera: a pink paisley scarf, a Schiaparelli fedora, and khaki linen women’s shorts he scored as a hand-me-down from his girlfriend.

Such an outfit wouldn’t prompt a second thought if Abasi worked as a writer, artist, butcher, salesman, or in any number of other professions.

But Abasi is a metal guitarist, and women’s shorts don’t sit too well with that crowd.

Two days later, the shorts had made their way to MetalSucks, a “heavy metal community” dedicated to “intelligent, thoughtful discussion.”

In a post titled “BORN OF OSIRIS’ TOSIN ABASI WEARS WOMEN’S SHORTS,” MetalSucks proprietor Axl Rosenberg opened Abasi’s feminine inseam for discussion. “Born of Osiris are making it very hard for those of us who like their music to defend them against the tr00est of the tr00,” he wrote. “I really, really don’t like to judge people solely for what they wear, but… what the fucking fuck dude. Women’s shorts? I’m at a loss for words. Truly.”

It wasn’t Abasi’s first appearance on MetalSucks—the Web site had previously bestowed a “glowingly positive” review on Abasi’s D.C.-based solo project, Animals as Leaders. Abasi’s personal style elicited a less enthusiastic critique. “The guy was appalled,” says Abasi. “It was like he was personally insulted by my shorts.”

Orea Guthrie, Abasi’s girlfriend, wasn’t concerned with metal fashion commentary when she bought the offending shorts in June 2008 at Banana Republic. She didn’t particularly like them at first, either. “I’m really pale, and I thought they looked too ‘soccer mom’ on me,” she says. Guthrie, who studied fashion at Savannah College of Art and Design, had Abasi try on the shorts and deemed them a good fit. “He’s curvy!” says Guthrie. Abasi, who wears a women’s size 8, agrees that the women’s shorts are more than just a good look. “I do shop body-conscious because I have large thighs, and women’s clothes are usually more forgiving in that area,” he says. “But they’re linen shorts. It’s not the most feminine short in the world, really.”

[youtube:v=8SvJFEqMeSw]

They are, however, a couple of inches shy of metal. “In metal, you generally see kids wearing the cargo shorts and the camo shorts,” says Abasi. The looser, longer versions are more befitting the metal lifestyle. “It’s because of all the moshing. There’s a lot of thrashing and windmills and stuff that goes on at the shows,” Abasi says. The demand for pit-appropriate bottoms is so strong that Born of Osiris even markets its own athletic shorts—a white mesh pair with the band’s logo screen-printed above the right knee. Gym shorts are one thing—having the band’s name associated with Banana Republic casual women’s wear is quite another.

Abasi had just joined the band, after filling in on guitar for the band’s Summer Slaughter tour, when news of his shorts broke. “I felt really bad, actually. I felt like I had brought a negative perception to their band, and I had just joined, literally, weeks earlier. And I was afraid the whole shorts story was going to be a negative hit for them,” says Abasi. “I was hired to work for this band, and if they like to wear black, unmarked T-shirts on-stage, that’s their thing, and I’m going to respect that. It’s not my place to throw this left-field element in there. But some people took that to mean that I was just pretending onstage, and that this thing [wearing women’s shorts] was my secret life.”

Within a week of the New York piece, that “secret life” was following Abasi on tour. At shows, Abasi would hear the call through the crowd: “Hey! I saw your women’s shorts!” Online, fan responses proved more colorful.

There was the derisive homophobic angle: “He looks like he is on a safari for some weiner.”

The supportive homophobic angle: “[Born of Osiris] FUCKIN RAPES ALL YOU HATER FAGGOTS.”

The hypocrisy angle: “If you wanna where women’s shorts and carry a handbag, at least have the balls to wear it on stage.”

The philosophical angle: “He wears women’s shorts, which is so far from metal that it’s actually the most metal thing on this site right now.”

But the most common response to the women’s shorts dust-up was the shredding angle. “I couldn’t care less if the dude mud wrestles in wading pools with midget tranny hookers between sets at their shows, or if he writes music while wearing a garter belt with stillettos and nipple clamps for inspiration,” wrote one commenter, “just so long as he keeps ripping.”

After all, Abasi is not just any man in women’s shorts. Abasi is a man in women’s shorts who can shred. The video “Born of Osiris Guitarist Tosin Abasi Wears Women’s Shorts” currently has 26,587 hits on YouTube, but “Tosin Abasi playing custom 8 string guitar” has nearly five times as many—plus a five-star rating. Abasi’s women’s shorts may inspire homophobic vitriol, but his guitar work has reduced metal fans to fawning same-sex overtures. Back in July, metal music writer John Gnesin hailed Abasi’s eclectic solo album as “brilliant instrumental metal” that will leave the listener “cock-strokingly orgasmic over this man’s talent.”

[youtube:v=I-lv9ltZ2cw]

In metal, the penis fixation is not uncommon. “Metal is a male-driven, testosterone-fueled style of music,” says Abasi. “In metal, you’re more of a man if you hate gay guys. You’re a pussy if you like this band. You’re gay if you wear women’s shorts. I’m straight, but the small-mindedness can get really depressing,” says Abasi. Abasi’s modest resistance to metal gender norms has, at least, been appreciated by some. “The band is fine with it,” says Lee McKinney, 20, who shreds alongside Abasi in Born of Osiris. “To be honest, I’m just a pale-skinned kid with red hair, so I could never pull things like that off. I dress really boring,” he says. “But we’ve all learned a lot from Tosin, as a human, which is cool.”

Last week, Abasi embarked on Born of Orisris’ fall tour, Night of the Living Shred. He says the women’s shorts will remain a staple off-stage, whether or not the metal kids get it. “Because I can play, it opens the door to tolerance just a little bit. Now they can say, ‘we can excuse this, because he shreds,’” he says. “But it’s not that I have the freedom to do what I want because I’m a human being—it’s that I’ve earned it because I can shred at guitar."

Photo by Darrow Montgomery

In 2002, Parents and Friends of Ex-Gays (PFOX) applied for an exhibit booth at the National Education Association's annual convention, "Expo 2002." PFOX submitted an application, signed a deposit check, and prepared its exhibit: an educational display, it claims, "to promote tolerance and equality for the ex-gay community." The NEA denied PFOX's application, citing limited booth space. PFOX suspected there was another motive at play: sexual orientation discrimination.

In 2005, POX filed a discrimination claim with the D.C. Office of Human Rights against the NEA for "refusing to provide public accommodations to ex-gays." When the D.C. Office of Human Rights sided with the NEA, PFOX appealed the decision to D.C. Superior Court. Judge Maurice Ross handed down the decision [PDF] in June of this year: PFOX's request to reverse the OHR's decision was denied.

But Ross's decision wasn't a total loss for PFOX: While Ross decided in the NEA's favor, he also held that ex-gays do, in fact, constitute a protected group under the D.C. Human Rights Act. Judging from PFOX's eerily celebratory press release, this is kind of a big deal for them.

According to Ross's decision, the Human Rights Act doesn't only protect groups defined by "immutable characteristics," as the Office of Human Rights' decision claimed. The Act also protects groups defined by "preference or practice" —like people who previously "practiced" gayness, and now "prefer" to practice heterosexuality:

OHR’s determination that a characteristic must be immutable to be protected under the HRA is clearly erroneous as a matter of law. . . . Indeed, the HRA lists numerous protected categories such as religion, personal appearance, familial status, and source of income, which are subject to change. . . . Pertaining to sexual orientation, moreover, the HRA in §2-1401.02(28) defines sexual orientation as “male or female homosexuality, heterosexuality and bisexuality, by preference or practice.” Thus, the HRA's intent and plain language eschews narrow interpretation.

But while the NEA can't discriminate against "ex-gays," it may legally discriminate against exhibits that are explicitly anti-gay:

The Court affirms OHR's ultimate determination that PFOX's application was denied legally. In NEA’s judgment, PFOX is a conversion group hostile toward gays and lesbians. Thus, even though PFOX vehemently disagrees with NEA’s characterization, it is within NEA’s right to exclude PFOX’s presence at NEA’s conventions. . . . Indeed, the HRA would not require NEA to accept an application from the Ku Klux Klan or a group viewed by the NEA as anti-labor union or racist. . . . Similarly, military organizations and the Boy Scotts of America are excluded from renting exhibit space at the NEA Annual Meetings because of the positions those organizations take with regard to gay and lesbian rights.

. . . Thus, PFOX’s arguments miss the point. The NEA did not reject its application because PFOX’s members include exgays, homosexuals, heterosexuals, or members of any other sexual orientation. Rather, NEA rejected PFOX’s application because PFOX’s message and policies were, in NEA’s opinion, contrary to NEA’s policies regarding sexual orientation.

In other words, the Human Rights Act protects groups who identify as "ex-gay" based on their previous and current sexual "practices." It does not, however, protect those groups in spreading anti-gay agendas. Somehow, that part was left out of the press release.

Parents & Friends of Ex-Gays & Gays, a national group known as PFOX, last week announced it was “suing” the D.C. Office of Human Rights to overturn a decision that ex-gays do not belong to a protected category under the city’s Human Rights Act.

Well, that depends by what you mean by "suing." According to Chibarro, "An office spokesperson called the PFOX announcement inaccurate, though, and noted the group filed a petition, not a lawsuit, before the D.C. Superior Court to appeal the 2005 decision."

PFOX fired back, calling the petition “a lawsuit of sorts.”

The fake lawsuit "stems from a decision to dismiss a complaint that PFOX filed against the National Education Association," which said that the NEA "discriminated against “ex-gays” as a class by denying a PFOX application to maintain an exhibit booth during a 2003 NEA convention."