The Westboro Baptist Church, proud owner of godhatesfags.com, is hitting up the Equality March in Washington D.C. this weekend, Joe My God reports. If the church's nonsensical picket schedule can be believed, Fred Phelps and friends will be hitting up three D.C. locations in one big anti-gay tour: The D.C. Jewish Community Center, the Annual HRC National Dinner, and the National Equality March. See what Phelps and the gang have planned for their protests, after the jump. Spoiler alert: Antichrist Obama is gonna be there!

Protest: Queer Simchat Torah Celebration

Date: Saturday, October 10, 5:30 to 6 p.m.

Location: D.C. Jewish Community Center, 1529 16th Street NW

Commentary: "Jews Killed Jesus, and love fags, go figure," the schedule reads. "Antichrist Obama, who loves fags way more than you Jewish dummies, is going to be in DC. He is speaking at the fag event, but not for you Jews. Get the message?!"

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Protest: HRC National Dinner

Date: Saturday, October 10, 6:15 to 7 p.m.

Location: Washington Convention Center, 809 Mt. Vernon Place NW

Commentary: "Obama Hates You dumb fags," the schedule reads. "He is going to use your money and your resources and then when he shows himself for what he is, he will merely destroy you along with the rest of this nation of self-loathing hypocrites. . . . But more to the point, God has done this thing. You have so enraged Him that he has sent you this creature to be your ruler."

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Protest: National Equality March

Date: Sunday, October 11, 10 to 11 a.m.

Location: Between 15th and I Street and the Capitol Building.

Commentary: "You are not equal with God, Silly," the schedule reads. "What, oh WHAT are you going to do when Obama has completely destroyed this nation's economy by the hand of a Sovereign God? You know what kind of money it takes to keep up those various facades! That is going to be some funny, scary stuff."

Photo by k763

Over the weekend, Lady Gaga promised to head down to D.C. for this Sunday's Equality March. At New York City's Bootleg party, Gaga announced:

Listen, next week is the gay pride march. And I know that I'm going to be there marching with all of you. And the most exciting thing tonight is that we're all here together. And you can sign up at a table here to get a ticket on a free bus to D.C. So, you have no excuse. And if the buses are all filled up, there's tons of other ways to get there . . . And there's really no excuse for you not to go.

She continues:

I was thinking to myself, 'If everyone in this room were to go and bring 10 friends—which I don't think is a lot to ask because you all have lots of friends—just from this one night, there would be 10,000 more people marching. . . I really believe in this cause, and as a woman in pop music, I think that this is really an important weekend, and it's not a fucking joke. So, get your asses to D.C. and wear something fabulous. And I'll see you guys there, I love you so much.''

And if those 10,000 people make good on the promise of wearing something Gaga approved, that means that the march is going to have 10,000 more sexy limo drivers sporting outrageous hair-bows but no pants. No shirts, either. Where do I sign up?